


The New Generation

by CanyonsIntrovert07, Meldiriel_47



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon), 悪魔城ドラキュラ | Castlevania Series
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Childhood Friends, Domestic Fluff, Escapism, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs Therapy, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Magic, Night Terrors, POV Third Person Omniscient, Panic Attacks, Porn With Plot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Regret, Self-Harm, Shameless Smut, Slow Burn, Strong Female Characters, Suicidal Thoughts, Survivor Guilt, Tags Are Hard, Talking Animals, Third Wheels, Transformation Magic, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, mentions of trauma, subtle praise kink, third season hurt the boys and we're not okay with it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:08:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 95,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27376213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanyonsIntrovert07/pseuds/CanyonsIntrovert07, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meldiriel_47/pseuds/Meldiriel_47
Summary: After the betrayal of Sumi and Taka, Alucard is left to wonder if his father might have had a better understanding of humanity than he had previously believed. Nelika is running from the gallows, seeking sanctuary from the only place she believes would even think to accept a devout worshiper of the Roman gods. Daiyu is torn from the ships by whispers of her family in disrepair, desperately traveling across ravaged lands for the chance that she may get back before irreparable damage is wrought. All three clash on the steps of Dracula's castle in a way none of them could have ever anticipated.They fucked up in Season 3. We took it upon ourselves to fix it because Hector and Alucard deserve so much better.
Relationships: Alucard | Adrian Tepes | Arikado Genya & Original Character(s), Alucard | Adrian Tepes | Arikado Genya & Original Female Character(s), Alucard | Adrian Tepes | Arikado Genya/Original Character(s), Alucard | Adrian Tepes | Arikado Genya/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	1. No Rest for the Weary

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, welcome to our mess! Meldiriel and I (Canyons) absolutely loved the first two seasons of Castlevania and were supremely disappointed with how they treated the characters in the third season. We were equally disappointed with how few fanfics existed for this fandom. So, we decided we would offer up our contribution. 
> 
> Trigger warnings to those with PTSD and sexual trauma. This story is a slow burn and slow healing fic, so strap in, if you feel so inclined. (:

The earth rich, sickly sweet musk of decay slithered passed the folds of fabric secured over her mouth and nose, creating a film of rot against the roof of her mouth that spread down her throat to curl heavily at the hollow of her neck. Nelika pressed the cover to her mouth in search of the mint leaves she’d ground between the folds, letting out a forlorn sigh as she found no relief for the sludge in her throat. 

The numb blanket of death bodily weighed down the castle steps, its presence muting the already subdued rustle of autumn. Despite the light powder of snow attempting to choke out the green of summer, the steps offered a peculiar warmth against her legs and backside.

Nelika’s head rolled heavily to her shoulder as she looked over the thick coat of her companion, Diana. Every bit as unwanted mutt as she was, now. Not that it had always been that way, of course. Nelika ran a hand over the coarse fur along her neck, stirring her from the bored slumber she’d slipped into. Diana blinked up at her, letting out a yawn before dropping her head into Nelika’s lap. Nelika continued to absently stroke her russet streaked coat as she looked over the corpses on display before her, mind automatically going through the preparation and burial process. 

She paused, considering the thought process— _ should I steer away from such thoughts? _

Nelika sighed heavily, allowing the release of the monotony. She was tired— _ exhausted _ — from having to so carefully monitor her thoughts. In this, she could allow a piece of neglect. Afterall, Death’s presence was an unfortunate, albeit necessary, discomfort. Perhaps she had even become familiar enough to consider him as an over-bearing, omnipresent associate—instead of the deterrent the master of the castle had undoubtedly intended it to be.

Then again, perhaps it was a sufficient deterrent for most—most who had a home to go back to, who had a family waiting for them, who weren’t wanted at the hanging tree. Even if he staked her and added her body to those now ornamenting his doorstep, it would still be a better fate than the one awaiting her return to Argeș. 

There had been rumors of the one who had since claimed mastership of the enigma known as Dracula’s Castle. Before the skies had rained blood and creatures of Hell had ravished townspeople. When he had been known as the Sleeping Soldier. They’d only amplified when word had spread that the monster Vlad Dracula Tepeș had met his end—at the hands of his only son. They’d said he was humanity’s savior, ridding the world of his father’s madness. They whispered that he had knowledge of old magics and sciences of bygone eras—had libraries spanning a breadth of knowledge that a hundred tribes of speakers couldn’t even hope to retain.

It was on those rumors she’d staked everything, running through the cover of night with nothing but the pack at her shoulders and Diana at her side. Running for the hope of sanctuary from searching vampire collectors and scathing human glances. For the dream of quiet libraries full of new adventures to lose herself in every day.

She had stopped only to leave a note.

Now, at the steps of Dracula’s castle, going through the dressing processes for the corpses he’d so brazenly displayed, doubt was beginning to breed into fear and regret. Perhaps he’d just replaced his father’s madness with his own. And the state of the castle—still carrying the shadow of briny river water, blood and piss. . . How could books even survive in such filth? Believing she could be accepted here, like a philosopher to the Library of Celsus, had been nothing more than a desperate girl’s foolish dream. In reality, she’d just chosen a different setting for her death.

Nelika cocked her head with a grim, twisted sort of humor. How would she look, her grimy clothes and matted curls, strung up beside these rotting corpses? Would he put her beside the woman, or the man? Would the asymmetry bother him?

She coaxed a huff from Diana with another pat atop her head. 

All she could do now was hope that whatever sentence he deemed appropriate for her, he had mercy on Diana—and pray to Salus that Daiyu wouldn’t follow the idiotic letter she’d scribbled out in the heat of the moment. Even running to Dracula’s castle for sanctuary from vampires can seem to be a sound idea when concocted in the dead of night with blood in your hair and panic alight in your bones. 

Nelika sat forward to lean her elbows against her knees, a disgruntled Diana standing up to pad in a circle before settling beside her again. Nelika smiled softly at her, before her gaze drifted to where her fingers had busied themselves with idle fidgeting. A spatter of burgundy, tinged brown with exposure and diluted by the barrier of her thumb nail, threw her world off-kilter.

_ Burial scalpel in hand, coated with the sheen of cooled fat and sinew, jerking out of a fresh body. Blood splattering hot against my face, metallic in my mouth. The sizzle of blood and flesh and fat as my mother screamed. Washing Diana’s blood out of her fur. _

The insistent jarring of Diana repeatedly shoving her head under Nelika’s elbow was a lifeline that she followed back to reality, biting down on her lip to firmly cement herself to the present. She’d let her mind wander too much. Nelika pinned her gaze on the outlandish architecture of Dracula’s Castle, so unlike anything she’d ever seen. So unique to the  _ now _ . 

Feeling marginally grounded, she choked down a rasp of air as she lifted trembling hands to carefully scrape away at the dried blood with a nail. She had paused at a creek when she’d first caught sight of the castle’s spires looming on the horizon, but ice had stubbornly choked the shallow trickle of water. She’d only been able to break through the top layer by the shore, using what little water she could to wash her hands and face.

“I missed some,” she murmured to Diana with false brightness, shoving the memories under the fabric of her skirts along with her trembling hands.  _ Need to focus on something else.  _ She leaned back once more, turning her gaze to the sky. “It’s been hours now, Diana. Do you think he’s in? Would he have left?” She glanced towards the open threshold with indecision. “We can wait a few more hours, though, yeah? The stone’s warm, oddly enough. I think we’ll manage—”

Diana’s head lifted, her ear’s pricking and form going stiff with focus.

Nelika glanced around them, going silent for a moment to search the forest. . . before relaxing and murmuring, “It’s okay, Diana, nothing—”

There was a hand around her throat. Diana leapt to her feet, a snarl tearing through the air as Nelika registered the prick of a blade under her jaw. An otherworldly hiss joined Diana’s snarls, the heat of her assailant’s breath fanning over her cheek. Nelika threw a hand out to Diana, dread flooding through her as she took in Diana’s pricked ears, bared teeth, and tucked tail. She was terrified, knew she was outmatched, but she would fight all the same. Panic muddled Nelika’s mind, allowing the memories she’d been pushing back to burst forth.

Nelika kept her hand outstretched and gave Diana a shaky smile, trying to show the she-wolf that she was okay—even as images flashed through her mind, the present’s progression of events disintegrating into sludge. She grasped for the vestiges of the  _ now _ , shoving back against the onslaught, body shuddering with the effort.

The slight pressure of a hand around her throat was more than sufficient to renew the low, pulsing ache indicative of the bruising blooming along her neck from the evening prior. Nelika’s breaths were harsh pants, eyelids fluttering against the barrage of images. 

_ Shit, he’s saying something.  _

The world was blurring and spinning and darkening. Nelika was sinking. Diana’s snarls built into an unholy crescendo as she edged closer. It all mixed and swirled with the hiss tickling Nelika’s ear and the omnipresent cloy of decay. 

“Please—don’t—!” Nelika rasped out as the world was tugged out from beneath her. 

* * *

Her senses trickled back into existence like chilled honey through a sieve. Decay was all around her, permeating the air to settle heavily on her tongue. There was a weight on her—a body. Her hands were wrenched behind her, secured just beneath her shoulder blades, setting a stretching, aching discomfort through her back and arms. Knees were pressed into the meat of her thighs, pinning her to the ground. 

_ His hand is clamped around the back of my neck, the curve of my hip, the back of my thigh—guiding my hand through the first incision to remove the organs. I can’t get free. They will kill me by association. I’ll be burned. I’m trapped. A grunt of heady exertion— _

Tears began to pool in her eyes as Nelika wriggled against his hold, powerless to be free. “Please. Please, let me go. I don’t know what I did wrong, but I’m sorry. I’m so sorry—tell me what I did and I’ll do better. I’ll  _ be  _ better! I swear—I  _ swear!  _ Oh, Clementia, please. Please, don’t do this. Just let me go!”

The already vice-like grip on her wrists tightened. The pressure on her right thigh was removed. Nelika choked on her sobs of thanks as his knee roughly shoved her legs together— _ shoving my legs apart, a hand canting my hips—steadying my form as I was guided through a new defensive form _ . Loose shards of rock scraped and dug into the exposed flesh of her legs. A strangled sob lodged in her throat as their knees straddled her thighs, hips brushing against her. 

Nelika pulled in a muted breath as full body shudders shook her like a temperamental child with a doll. She dug her teeth into her bottom lip, fixing her gaze on the glint of light flicking back to her from the brushed, dull gold crescent of her lunula. Nelika pulled away from the urge to listen to the heaving breaths, to fixate on each point that his body contacted hers, to scream and claw and bite—it wouldn’t do any good. 

Tears silently streamed down the bridge of her nose, moistening the hewn stone beneath her cheek. Nelika went limp as helpless devastation flooded her thoughts—a welcome enough distraction. Why fight? She had no worth to fight for. No family name to defend. If she just let it happen, maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much. Maybe it’d make things easier. Maybe he’d let her stay. 

“Don’t know what you did wrong?” a velveteen voice edged in thorns bit back. “Is trespassing no longer considered wrong?”

His voice shattered through Nekila—through the conceptualized image her mind had conjured. This voice of dark, quiet places and even quieter lethality could not have been further from  ~~ the voice of the crypt master ~~ . His voice was a wolf on the hunt, a senator standing above the assembly. Her gaze sharpened on the light flashing over her locket, it wasn’t the flicker of a flame. No, it was the pale caress of daybreak. And there, the soft wind against her face, the beckoning of autumn—it was nothing like the stagnant stench of the catacombs. The lean press of the body above her in stark opposition  ~~ to the heavy pudge of the crypt master ~~ . 

Nelika held each small disparity close, using them to push back against the fog of desolation that had claimed her rationale. As she pulled away from the fear, she turned her battle inward—forcing her mind to surrender the necessary details to create an accurate portrait of the world around her. The soul-crushing relief that the memories were not reality was swiftly replaced with dismay. While the victors of those battles had long since been determined, Nelika was now faced with the reality of the Lord of Dracula’s castle being forced upon her. 

_ What have I done to incur such wrath from you, Mercury?  _

“I—I haven’t trespassed!” Nelika gasped out, trying to convince herself away from the pull of desolation to be able to rationally react to the current unfurling of events. “I was here, at your threshold, waiting to be invited in.”

There was a beat of contemplative silence. “You are not a vampire. The doors were open. Why wait to be invited?”

Good, he was thinking, considering, curious. Her father had always said, the moment you become curious about your opponent was the moment you’d lost.  _ There may be hope for me yet.  _ “Even humans can be polite. At times.”

“Yes, when it benefits them,” he growled by means of an insult. 

“Are vampires any different?”

“No one is any different.” 

The cadence of his voice flowed with despondent disdain, hinting at a soul-deep betrayal that panged hollowly in her chest with a weeping empathy. What must he have experienced, who must have struck deep enough to put that level of ache in his words? Did it have anything to do with the two bodies at his door? Did the hurt run deep enough to staunch the well of humanity within him? Or would Nelika be able to cultivate the shred of mercy that still survived and spoke on her behalf, that allowed her to continue to draw breath? 

She tugged at his hold on her arms, more to remind him of her incapacitated state than to get free. “Please, will you release me?” There was a scoff as his hold tightened—Nelika felt it as a hand around her throat, under her skirts. She took a steadying breath, pushing back against the rising panic, but she couldn’t stop the shaking radiating out from her bones and pulsing low in her ears. “I—I mean you no harm. Please, I only seek sanctuary.”

“You mistook Dracula’s castle for a church?” Nelika could hear the curl of his sneer, but still, he made no move to harm her. 

His actions whispered his intentions to Nelika, and she was well versed in the interpretation of such whisperings. He  _ wanted  _ to believe her. He  _ wanted  _ to talk. He’d incapacitated her instead of striking her down on sight; he had restrained her, but not gagged her. To protect himself—but not at the cost of her own safety. It reminded Nelika of Diana when she had first taken the wolf pup from the gladiator pits. Desperate with the desire to trust, delirious with experience’s hiss to strike first and strike hard. 

Nelika attempted to shake her head. “No, the church offers no sanctuary, not to my kind.”

“To your kind?”

Incredulous distrust laced his words. She rushed to soothe it.

“Ask what you please, I will answer. Search my pack, my skirts, whatever you wish. I have no weapons save an old pugio in my pack—made of iron. Nothing harmful.”  _ That I know of. _

Nelika could feel the battle raging above her, revealed by the rigid tension in his body. Finally he answered with the dark stillness of a predator preparing to lunge. “A pugio is a Roman dagger. Did you answer believing I wouldn’t know enough of the world to recognize such an arrant threat?”

She was losing him. It had been a calculated risk to alert him to the weapon. One Nelika had hoped would be seen as a show of good faith, to establish the beginnings of trust. But it seemed he was too far gone, even for that. Hopelessness began to bleed into the cool serenity of diplomacy, shadowed images trailing after it.

“No. No! That’s not how I intended—”

“Wiped the blade with salt, have you?” he said, words taunting and cruel.

Frantic indignation rose up within her. “How would I afford such a waste of salt?”

There was the prick of claws against the skin of her wrists. 

Nelika shoved at the emotions clashing in her chest and tried to beseech him once more. “No! I’ve done no such thing. Please, let me up so we can discuss this misunderstanding like civilized beings!”

“So you can attack? No, I think not. I put up very clear signs to dissuade travelers—no translations necessary. You should have read them.”

Somewhere, Nelika could hear Diana snarling. The wind went still as Nelika craned her neck to catch a glimpse of blond waves, a white silk tunic, bared fangs, sharpened nails, and golden eyes carrying centuries worth of sadness. 

“Please,” Nelika breathed, dried tears stiff on her cheeks. 

There was no mercy in his gaze to disrupt the endless well of anguish, but he did pause to consider her, before replying softly, “Their names were Sumi and Taka. When you see them, tell them I’ve learned.”

* * *

Daiyu didn’t particularly mind when she arrived at Argeș in the early hours to an uproar at the town gates. It served as a distraction for her to slip in unnoticed passed the guards who were more preoccupied with not letting anyone leave. 

She backtracked to a grove of trees, dismounted and tied her horse out of sight from prying eyes. 

“I won’t be long, Chairo. Try to stay out of trouble and rest a bit,” she murmured to the horse as she slipped out of the trees and headed back towards the town. The altercation with the farmers trying to get out to their fields had gotten heated.

“Are you just intentionally shitting on my business now?” A red-faced farmer raged at the guard who was denying him access passed the town gate. “Do I look like a  _ fucking criminal _ bent on usurping your authority?! I need to finish harvesting my crops so we all don’t fucking starve this winter!” 

Slipping off the road to avoid being noticed, she headed for the wall. It would be easier than dealing with any of the people in the area. As she drew close to the wall, she overheard some of the argument that had broken out between the locals.

“I know you just want to get your day’s work in, but if I let you leave,  _ my _ head will roll. And I like it right where it is, so you’re just going to have to wait. The crypt master was killed in cold blood last night and no one is setting foot past these gates until the church says otherwise,” the guard dismissed the farmer curtly. “So, unless you want your crops to be the least of your problems, I suggest you go home. Every last one of you!” he finished vehemently at the others who had started to gather at the gate. 

“Instead of pissing on us hard working folk, why don’t you try and find his little whore of an assistant? She hasn’t been seen all day!” one of the farmers piped up before turning back with the rest of the crowd.

_Someone killed the crypt master?_ _While I don’t enjoy killing and death, I almost want to thank whoever did it. This is almost too easy,_ Daiyu thought as she vaulted up and slipped over the wall in relative silence, unnoticed by anyone on either side. 

Approaching her family's old house from the back alley, the first thing Daiyu noticed was that someone had used the entrance. Based on the prints in the mud just outside the door, it had been within the past day, and they had come and gone without lingering. Cautiously approaching the door, she nudged it open before slipping through and closing it quietly. 

Standing by the door in silence, she listened and watched for any signs of life that might remain in the old house. Not noticing anything, she moved forward in a smooth, practiced gait to avoid detection, intent on searching the house. Glancing around as she moved out of the hall into the kitchen area, she noted a piece of parchment that stood out in comparison to the dusty table it was laid on. Instead of approaching it, she elected to confirm she was indeed alone before seeing what message it might contain.

Once she had established that there were no threats in the building, she approached the table. The first thing she noticed were a few dark smudges on the page.

“Blood.” she stated under her breath. 

> _ Daiyu, _
> 
> _ I hope you are doing well, my friend. I’m not sure when this letter will find you, but it will likely see you before me. There is a darkness abroad in Wallachia. By now, I’m certain word has reached you of Dracula’s crusade. I then hope that you have also heard of his demise. I fear worse is yet to come. There’s word of vampires stealing families from their beds in the dead of night. I am to make way for Dracula’s castle now in search of sanctuary. They say the Sleeping Soldier resides in the castle. I hope to see you again, dear friend. _
> 
> _ Yours truly,  _
> 
> _ Nelika _

Scanning Nelika’s letter over a second time, what she had heard at the gate was beginning to make sense. The inclination to thank whoever had killed the crypt master now left a tang on Daiyu’s tongue and a forbording in her gut. Unless Nelika’s entire character had changed completely in the three years since she had seen her, she was not one to pick up and leave so quickly without considerable reason. 

“Thank them?” She muttered under her breath, remembering the exchanging of words earlier between the farmers and guard. “Nelika, what exactly happened?” she asked to the empty room while folding the letter and placing it in her sack. Taking a deep breath, she focused on the matter at hand. __

_ Nelika would never do anything like that without ample reason. I’m glad she seems to have made it out, though. They haven’t made where he was, or what he was doing public knowledge, so I can assume he wasn’t found in the most. . .  _

“That monster!” she hissed out, grabbing her sack off the table. __

_ If the accounts are accurate, she’s only half a day ahead of me,  _ she thought as she turned, making her way for the door.

Anguish filled her as she mused. Half a day Nelika had been running. Fleeing toward a promise Daiyu had once told her of, that would not be there. What all had transpired in the past years to the family of the castle, to bring it to its current state? Daiyu shuddered, pulling herself from her thoughts.

“Who needs sleep?” she murmured as she stepped out the door into the midmorning light, not bothering to spare the house a backwards glance.


	2. Daiyu's Entrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daiyu tries to diffuse the situation. Diana receives a lesson in communication.

A roar like the sound of boulders tearing through a forest in a landslide accompanied the tensing of his shoulder as Alucard prepared to strike. Nelika blinked in blank confusion as his gaze jerked toward the sound, only realizing with his reaction that the noise hadn’t been her own mind screaming out. Alucard bared his fangs, releasing his hold on her a breath before something was hurtling into him, forcing him away from Nelika. 

Before he could retaliate, the creature sank its claws into his arms, pinning them to his sides as it slammed him into the castle wall. As soon as the creature had him restrained, it spread out its massive, tawny wings. In the same moment, a wall of blue fire sprang up around them as if the wings had fanned the flames to life.

Alucard growled out a breath as he called to his sword, eyes calculating as he took in his new opponent. Though his mind immediately supplied ‘night creature’ as a proposed title, something about it was distinctly different and so unlike anything he’d fought previously. His sword was in the library, he urged it out through the broken, domed ceiling. The massive beast was quadrupedal, standing on four wickedly clawed paws with its body bracketed by two great wings and tail feathers from which a tail unfurled. 

“What are you?” He hissed out at the creature, unrest settling in him. 

Its bright amber eyes didn’t leave him, but it made no move to further incapacitate him. An answering rumble spilled out from between its forked beak, ears tight against its feathered head beneath twin horns. Alucard noticed with an abstract interest that the inside of its beak was lined with dentature reminiscent of a wolf’s. 

Alucard took another breath to offer the creature a chance to withdraw, and his breath caught in his throat as his sword hissed through the air, intent on the creature’s shoulder. A serpent sprung from between its shoulder blades, mouth wide in a hiss as it wrapped its tail around the sword, whip fast. His sword fell to the ground with a muted clatter as Alucard fixed a hard gaze on the creature before him that smelled far too familiar. 

“You smell of someone I once knew.” Alucard said in a low tone. Looking at the creature more closely, he tilted his head slightly in consideration. “Are you a creature of moderate intelligence?”

The creature responded with a growling kind of hiss as it slightly increased the pressure on his arms, clearly unimpressed by the question.

“If that is your response, I feel there are two likely options.” Alucard stated, looking the creature in the eye. “Either you killed the person I knew, or you have changed more than I ever thought possible.”

_ Daiyu!  _ Diana’s hoarse rumble of a voice broke through the creature’s wall of flame with ease, whispering into her mind. The wolf sounded relieved but guarded. Her next words were a snarl.  _ He hurt Nelika. Kill.  _

_ That would accomplish nothing. If I don’t have to, I don’t want to do any more harm than has already been done here.  _ Daiyu thought to herself.

Diana growled harshly in response. 

“Either way, I do find it intriguing that a creature with wings would make its way to my castle, on a  _ horse _ ,” Alucard remarked as the wall of flame lowered enough for him to gaze between the slots of her black-tipped wings. 

Glancing down to where the snake was still coiled around his sword, Alucard continued. “There is clearly much worth discussing here. Why are you protecting this human?” he asked with a glower. 

Daiyu opened her beak to respond, but only a kind of bird-like screech came out. She snapped her mouth shut again.

Alucard blinked at her. “What.”

Narrowing her eyes, Daiyu let out a low growl, but kept her mouth shut.  _ Of course I can’t talk in this form. Why would it be that easy? How do I return to my human form? Can I? _

_ Why would you want to?  _ Came Diana’s irked response. 

One of Daiyu’s ears flicked toward Diana.  _ To be able to convince Adrian not to kill the two of you. _

_ If you can get me out of this metal trap he threw on me, I might be willing to try to convince Nelika to act as spokesperson.  _ Diana’s voice carried a petulance that suggested she was pouting with drooped ears. 

_ Have you communicated to Nelika who I am?  _ Daiyu responded in a calmed tone.  _ I will see what I can do to get the chains off of you. _

_ She has an idea.  _

“Are you going to give me a response?” Alucard asked in an irritated tone.

Opening her mouth, Daiyu let out a hiss as she lowered her head to bring her eyes to the same level as his.  _ Remove the chains. Remove them. Right now. _

There was a startled yelp. Alucard’s head whipped to the side, mouth opening in a displeased hiss as he watched Gleipnir slink away from the wolf like water over a smooth stone. Diana was on her feet before the chains had fully slipped away, tail held aloft as she spun on him in turn, lips pulled back to display her teeth in a snarl. Nelika jumped to her feet a moment after, a hand fisted in Diana’s fur as she looked over the situation with calculating eyes before lifting her chin to settle on the horse. 

_ Whatever she is planning, please get her to rethink. _ Daiyu’s voice pleaded with Diana.  _ Running is only going to make things worse right now. _

_ You have to talk to him.  _

“What!” Nelika spun on Diana, betrayal and disbelief turning her voice shrill. 

“What did you do?” Alucard’s brow furrowed with controlled contempt as he regarded Nelika.

Nelika wilted, panic flaring bright under his piercing gaze. “We need to leave, Diana. Right now.” 

_ I made a deal. You have to talk to him.  _ Diana responded resolutely, despite the sharp ridge of her hackles as she let lose another stream of snarls towards the male. 

“ _ You  _ made a deal involving  _ me? _ ” Nelika squeaked back to her.

Alucard’s eyes narrowed as he watched this exchange, his hand twitching towards his sword to gauge his control over it. The snake reared up, hissing at him in warning, as Daiyu let loose a snarl in his face.

_ Diplomacy.  _ Diana spat back. 

Nelika came to a screeching halt. She considered for a moment before trying for logic one last time, “This is hardly the time and place for diplomacy, Diana.”

_ It is always the time and place for diplomacy.  _ Diana parroted back to her. 

Nelika scowled at her. She closed her eyes, taking a measured breath as she squared her shoulders, clasping her hands before her. She stepped forward, lifting her chin to address the male and the beast that Diana insisted to be Daiyu. “I agree, there is much to be discussed. Would you like to begin, or shall I?”

“Fuck off!” Alucard spat at her. 

The next moment his head was smashed against the wall as Daiyu lowered her head and butted him squarely in the nose.  _ Why do you have to exacerbate the situation? You are still a child in some ways, I see. _

_ She says he is still a child.  _ Diana immediately relayed to Nelika. 

Nelika stumbled on her next words, gaze flicking sidelong to give Diana an incredulous glance before continuing, “I apologize for the less than ideal circumstances. I’d like to be able to initiate peace talks in a more favorable setting. What would you like?”

In response, Alucard bared his fangs, but said nothing.

_ Please relay to Nelika to say the following, exactly as I say it.  _ Daiyu’s voice cut through to Diana.  _ Daiyu would like to speak with you, but is currently unable to do so because you are in the middle of a hissy fit. _

_ Tell him Daiyu wants to talk to him, but he’s being an ass.  _

Nelika’s hands dropped as she shared a perturbed glance between Diana and Daiyu, “I will  _ not  _ say that!”

_ Did you repeat exactly what I said? _

_ Close enough, what does it matter?  _ Diana shot back, single-mindedly focused on the threat with fangs. 

_ The key is in the words I said.  _ Daiyu countered.  _ If you aren’t able to do that, then just have her tell him, he’s throwing a hissy fit. _

_ Daiyu would like to speak with you, but is currently unable to do so because you are in the middle of a hissy fit. You have to use those exact words.  _ Diana grudgingly repeated to Nelika, sparing a moment in her vigilance to throw a glower to Daiyu. 

Nelika floundered, her mouth opening and closing for a moment as she thought about what she’d said.  _ I am going to die. _ “Those. . . exact words? In that order?”

_ Yes. Those exact words. _ Daiyu quickly confirmed to Diana.

Diana just sneezed. 

Nelika slowly turned back to regard Alucard, clasping her hands in front of her again in an attempt to still the shaking. “Mind you, these words are not my own—”

“Out with it,” Alucard gritted out from between clenched teeth. 

Nelika’s shoulders dropped, resigned to her fate. “Daiyu would like to speak with you, but is currently unable to do so because you are in the middle of a hissy fit.” 

“I am n—” Alucard started, but was cut off by Daiyu letting out a hiss in his face as she lowered her head again and tilted it slightly to the side.

“It really is you, isn’t it?” Alucard asked, regarding the creature.

_ Yes. Dumbass. _ Daiyu deadpanned.

_ Yes, dumbass.  _

“Yes. . . dumbass. . .” Nelika said uneasily, the words airy and garbled as she glanced to the side. 

Alucard turned to contemplate Nelika again. “How are you doing that? Why can you hear her, but I can’t?”

Nelika waited for Diana to relay Daiyu’s message. Diana gave her a quick shake of her head. Nelika’s spine snapped straight as she met Alucard’s gaze with a look of wide-eyed terror. “Oh— uhm.” She swallowed thickly, scrambling to find something to ground her in the turmoil. She gestured to Diana, “She is the one who can hear Daiyu. I am as deaf as you to her words in her current state.”

After regarding Nelika for a moment Alucard responded with a measured tone. “You never answered my question. How did you get the chains off your wolf?”

Nelika’s blood ran cold at the latent threat in his voice. She had no idea. She couldn’t even begin to fathom the ribbons of featherlight chains that had held firm with the resoluteness of a mountain pass one moment only to fall away like thread the next. But she would be damned if she was going to tell him that. She forced a light smile, “I suppose much in the same way as you put them on her.”

_ Of all the times to start being a sarcastic shit, this is not the time.  _ Daiyu pleaded.

_ Stop being a shit.  _ Diana parroted back. 

Nelika flung a glare over her shoulder. 

_ Don’t shoot the messenger.  _ Diana happily passed off the blame. 

“Are you incapable of saying a single simple phrase?” Alucard hissed at Nelika. “I believe the phrase you’re looking for is, ‘I don’t know.’”

“I rarely have to go searching for phrases, but I do appreciate your generosity in supplying me with one such phrase,” Nelika responded, a prick of annoyance at Daiyu, Diana, this male who had tried to kill her only to now demand information from her, and at the very gods who had lead her into this catastrophe, spurring her on. 

_ Are the chains really what we should be focusing on?  _ Daiyu asked.  _ I feel like something more like, I don’t know, not trying to kill each other would be a good starting point. _

Diana’s mouth fell open, an ear flopping to the side before she hurriedly pushed a message on to Nelika.  _ You’re being stupid. Both of you.  _

Nelika turned to Diana, “She didn’t say that.”

Diana let out an impatient whine.  _ Point is, you are focusing on the chains when you should be focusing on agreeing not to kill each other.  _

“That sounds much more accurate,” Nelika agreed. 

Diana’s ears drooped,  _ But I was still right the first time.  _

Nelika narrowed her eyes at her companion before drawing herself up and glancing at Daiyu. “Daiyu, I don’t believe we’ll be able to come to any favorable solution with your claws embedded in him. Perhaps we should start there?”

_ He needs to promise me, he won’t try to kill or harm either you or Diana. _

Diana relayed the message,  _ exactly  _ as Daiyu had phrased it, her tone dramatically sulky. 

Nelika’s brows raised. She glanced back at Daiyu in gratitude before continuing softly, “That is a rather hefty stipulation, Daiyu. I’m not sure he will believe it is coming from you and not from me.”

“Won’t you allow me to decide what I will believe?” Alucard intoned flatly. 

Nelika put her hands behind her back to hide the impatient fidget of her fingers. “She will not release you until you promise her Diana and I’s safety. Her exact wording was ‘he needs to promise me, he won’t try to kill or harm either you or Diana’.” 

Alucard’s eyes narrowed as he glared at Nelika. Turning to look at Daiyu, he asked in a lowered voice, “Is this really what you have required? If so, I need a confirmation it is in fact coming directly from you.”

Widening her eyes slightly, Daiyu drew her head back to level him with a glare that would have caused a lesser being to shrink from it.

“Silence has always been one of your preferred responses to situations of a similar nature.” Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he continued, “I promise not to kill or harm them at this time. If I deem them to be a threat later, I make no promises for that time.”

After considering him for a moment, Daiyu stepped back, lowering onto all fours. No one moved as they all warily regarded each other. As the uncomfortable silence dragged on, Nelika fought against the urge to climb onto Diana and run. Though the wolf had since stopped snarling, her tail and hackles were still raised.

Nelika finally broke through the tension in the air, giving Daiyu a shaky smirk, “That’s a new look for you, Daiyu. Do all Shaolin monks look like that or are you special?” 

In a moment, Daiyu’s form changed. Where a beast had been a moment before, a woman of average height, a lean muscled build, and a shaved head stood. “No, that is not a common skin for the monks to wear. You look terrible, Nelika.”

Nelika blinked, glancing down at herself in a short appraisal before looking back up to Daiyu. “You don’t have any hair.”

“You were going to kill me,” Alucard cut in, looking at Daiyu.

“You were going to kill  _ her _ ,” Daiyu shot back.

“I’m still not convinced that I shouldn’t have.”

“Still jumping to conclusions before hearing the story. Some things don’t change.” Daiyu responded evenly.

“Some things don’t need to change.” Alucard replied, eyes narrowed. 

“Indeed,” Daiyu met Alucard’s gaze. “They are my friends. I have known them since I was a child. You heard stories of them from me. You should know ‘Nelika’ is not a common name in these parts.” 

“She might have led with that information,” Alucard said with an exasperated tone.

“Before, or after you pinned her to the ground to kill her?” Daiyu asked. “I don’t know all that’s happened while I’ve been gone, but it seems time has not been kind to any of us.”

Instead of answering Daiyu’s question and observation, Alucard turned toward Nelika, “For someone who is notoriously vocal, you’ve gone rather quiet. What are you  _ really _ doing here?”

“The need for an interpreter has passed,” Nelika rasped, finding her throat rather dry under his scrutiny. “Daiyu’s arrival does not change my reasoning. As I told you previously, I come seeking sanctuary.”

“You would seek sanctuary in the home of one such as I?” Alucard asked incredulously, “The only ones that come spinning such a tale are those with ulterior motives.”

_ Well, had I known Daiyu was coming back and could turn into a fucking beast, I wouldn’t be here,  _ Nelika thought behind a closed-lipped smile. “I do suppose death would be its own kind of sanctuary.” 

“Indeed,” Alucard said in a level tone, “Is that what you wish for?” 

Diana let out an alarmed bark, shooting forward to stand in front of Nelika, hackles raised. 

Nelika brushed a hand over Diana’s shoulder, peeking over her back to regard Alucard steadily. “If I welcome it, would that be the same as wishing for it? Does anyone truly wish for death?”

“Death takes who it pleases,” Daiyu cut in with a soft tone, “While we may play a part in the path that leads to it, we should not strive to become emissaries of its cause.” Pausing for a moment, she continued, “Is there anything Nelika and Diana have done to warrant such open hostility, Adrian?”

Alucard balked at the name Daiyu had called him before responding, “Aside from arriving at my door uninvited, and being deceptive?”

“You’re reaching, and you know it.” Daiyu said in a matter of fact tone, “Of course Nelika is going to do whatever she can to defend herself. She is weak. When faced with you, it is like pitting a sparrow against a falcon. That aside, she is not a complete stranger to you. You know of her through me.” 

“Even a sparrow has talons,” Alucard muttered, sullen. “I have heard of her, many years past. Even if she  _ had  _ deigned to introduce herself before taking up residence on my doorstep, she arrived armed and uninvited. I just responded in kind.”

Daiyu leveled a look at him of incredulity, “She has a  _ single,  _ subpar weapon. You are looking for reasons to be offended and unnecessarily aggressive toward a person that deserves no such treatment.”

“Perhaps it isn’t unnecessary so much as misdirected,” Nelika gently offered, pointedly glancing at the corpses staked before the steps. 

“He is being reactionary and irrational,” Daiyu stated calmly, then continued in a gentler tone, “I am sure there is reason for his actions, and I grieve what has transpired to lead him to become as such.”

“I’m standing right here,” Alucard said in an exasperated tone.

“Are you, though?” Daiyu asked gently.

“Perhaps,” Nelika ventured out from behind Diana to approach Daiyu, placing a consoling hand on her shoulder, “Adrian is not the only one here who is being slightly reactionary?”

“ _ You _ don’t get to call me by that name,” Alucard hissed.

Daiyu shifted, settling a narrowed-eyed, pointed gaze on Alucard as she placed herself between the two while still allowing conversation to pass between them. 

Nelika choked down the desire to shrink away from him, the intimidation exponentially increased with her proximity to the male. The hostility was palpable. She calmly inquired, “Would you be willing to offer me another title to call you by? I apologize if I have offended you. I feel we are a bit at odds here, you know my name but yours is still a mystery to me.”

“I have many names, but I am most widely known as Alucard,” the blond dhampir stated in a deflated tone, looking more toward Daiyu than acknowledging Nelika.

Nelika gave a subdued nod before taking her hand from where it rested on Daiyu’s shoulder and retreating back to Diana to let them continue their conversation. She gave Diana a wide-eyed glance, flicking her eyes over her shoulder. Alucard’s single-minded focus and ire wasn’t lost on her and she would not get between whatever history they had between them. 

Diana sneezed. 

As she retreated, Alucard’s gaze flicked to Nelika, then back to Daiyu, “What would you have me do?” he asked.

Considering him for a moment, Daiyu responded, “If you could consider it, I would ask that you try getting to know Nelika and Diana, before passing any hash judgements against them.”

“If I allow them to stay, will you stay, too?” Alucard's voice was soft and his eyes hopeful.

With her back turned on them, Nelika’s mouth popped open in astonished glee. Diana’s tail gave a hesitant wag in an attempt to share in her elation. Nelika’s lips turned up in a mischievous grin. Apparently, Daiyu was not as celibate as she had originally thought. 

Daiyu considered Alucard’s expression, “I came back to stay where I am needed. From what I have been able to see, Nelika needs me. If she stays, so will I.”

Alucard’s brow furrowed in a frown. It wasn’t quite the response he had wanted, but the end result was the same. “They can stay,” he conceded. 

“I won’t ask you to become friends with them, but I do ask that you treat them with the same kindness you would afford welcome guests,” Daiyu said, “though I do think you could become good friends if you’d give them a chance.” 

Alucard dismissed the sentiment, turning back toward the forest, “You remember the castle, yes? I was harvesting before I found uninvited guests at my door. I will just need to retrieve the baskets and then I will join you for dinner.”

“I will not be going into the castle,” Daiyu’s tone was soft yet firm.

Alucard froze, turning back to regard her. “But, you were going to stay?”

“I will stay, but not in the castle,” Daiyu responded.

Alucard gave her a look of pure confusion and betrayal. 

“Why do you look so betrayed? I will stay, and be here. What more would you ask of me?”

“Perhaps we should give you two some privacy,” Nelika broke in uneasily, her words a hairsbreadth louder than a whisper as she tapped on Diana’s shoulder, asking for permission to mount. 

“There’s no need for that,” Daiyu glanced to Nelika, “You’ve been through more than enough. You need food and rest. If it is agreeable with Adrian, why don’t you go where you can rest?” she asked as she turned back to Alucard.

Alucard’s mouth was pursed into a thin line of consternation. He refused to look at any of them as he went and retrieved his baskets. 

“I’m not sure he would agree with that sentiment,” Nelika whispered sidelong to Daiyu as she swung a leg over Diana. And frankly, Nelika wasn’t sure  _ she  _ would agree to the sentiment. The idea of sleeping in the castle with no one but herself, Diana, and Alucard set her teeth on edge. She was inclined to believe she would be better off sleeping in the forest curled against Diana’s side. 

Diana looked up at Daiyu from where she had settled on the ground, unsure where she should go from there. 

“If that is what you have decided, I respect your choice,” Daiyu murmured softly, “but shouldn’t he be allowed to speak for himself?”

“Why stop her? She seems rather inclined to speak for everyone but herself,” Alucard bit out bitterly, returning from the treeline with a heavily burdened basket in each hand. 

“You might want to ask yourself, why you’re being so contrary and volatile,” Daiyu tersely remarked, “Or do you prefer to entertain uneasy conversational sparring at the door?”

_ He knows why he’s being so, he wants you to consider why he would be reacting as he is.  _ Nelika thought, tossing a pitying glance to Alucard before leaning forward to whisper into Diana’s ear, “Come on, Diana. Let’s go find some dinner.”

“The kitchen is down the hall on the right,” Alucard stated, and then turned back to Daiyu, “Why will you not enter the castle?”

Diana rocked, uncertain if she should go through the doors or into the woods. She flicked her ears back to Nelika for some guidance. Nelika seemed just as much at a loss. With a heavy huff, Diana shot a quick question to Daiyu, _Is there food in the kitchen that doesn’t require hunting?_  
“Before I answer your question, is there food in the kitchen that doesn’t require hunting?” Daiyu asked Alucard, “Diana would like to know.”

“Will my answer affect your answer?” Alucard asked evasively. 

“No.”

“Yes.”

Nelika’s chest sank with dismay as Diana happily trotted into the castle, nose lifted in search of nourishment. 

After the wolf disappeared down the hall, Daiyu turned to fully face Alucard, “In answer to your question, I will not enter the castle because you have made certain choices I cannot condone. While I respect the decisions you make, I will have nothing to do with such ways of living.”

Furrowing his brow, Alucard responded with an edge in his voice, “Will you tell me plainly? Or are you going to start avoiding the questions I ask, like your friend?”

“No matter how grievous their actions, why would you stake people outside your door?” Daiyu asked in a voice barely more than a whisper.

“I felt it was a better alternative than leaving the door open to invite more of their kind in,” Alucard stated.

“Then perhaps close the door.” 

“It usually is closed. Today, it was open because I was out gathering food,” he said, stooping to place the procured baskets on the castle steps before turning back toward Daiyu, “and look how well that ended.”

Daiyu considered him in contemplative silence long enough for him to turn and walk over to one of the doors, leaning against it in a show of forced nonchalance. He folded his arms, raising an eyebrow to invite her to speak her mind.

Taking a moment to really look at him, Daiyu had to suppress the urge to go to him and catch him in an embrace. It had been years since they had spoken, and regardless of the circumstances, seeing him and Nelika still alive started to unclench the dread that had settled in her chest. In its place, a new kind of sorrow and regret came in. 

“I’m sorry,” Daiyu said softly, “for everything. For leaving and being too late coming back. I plan to be here for you, but I will not force my way of living on you. If you decide you’d rather I not be close by, I will respect that.”

He frowned, “I invite you into my home and you offer to move further away. Some things truly never change.” 

“And there are some things that change far too often. I gave you my answer for why I will not enter your home,” she gave as a response.

“Yes, I do recall.” Alucard pushed away from the castle door, moving to retrieve his baskets of gathered food once more. He knew it was pointless to fight with Daiyu on such matters. That knowledge didn’t make the adamancy with which she refused to be in his company sting any less. “Where will you be staying ‘close by’, then?”

“I will be just next to the castle, in the forest—it is not you I am avoiding, Adrian.” 

“Of course not. You’re just avoiding my house,” Alucard muttered flippantly as he walked past the castle’s threshold, “Due to my ‘way of living’. Thank you for inviting your friend into my home in your stead.”

“It’s good to see you too,” Daiyu couldn’t quite keep a hint of sorrow from her tone. “If she really is there in my stead, please treat her kindly.”

“Only as kindly as I treat you,” he growled back darkly. 

“Then I have nothing to fear,” she murmured back.

Leaving Daiyu at the doors of the castle, Alucard walked toward the kitchen to deposit the food from his basket. As he made his way down the hall, he started to hear the one sided conversations that seemed to accompany the tiny woman and her wolf wherever they went.  _ Treat her as kindly as Daiyu?  _ He let out a quiet snort.  _ If only Daiyu knew how well I would treat her, given the chance. _ With that final thought, he entered the room where Nelika and Diana seemed to be in the middle of a disagreement.


	3. Into the Castle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets settled and Nelika learns what about indoor plumbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Given that there is a sink shown in the kitchen, we assumed that indoor plumbing exists in the castle. And electricity. And everything that logically should not exist in 1476. Because vampire knowledge, I guess. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Nelika swallowed thickly as her gaze fell on the richly stocked pantry Diana’s nose had led them to. Her stomach had been in want of food for so long that it didn’t growl so much as twist into a tight knot at the sight of so much extravagant food within her reach. It seemed her friend was in agreement. 

Diana paced around the kitchen restlessly, maw open as she panted, stopping every handful of breaths to lick her chops and swallow another mouthful of drool.  _ He said the pantry was stocked with food that didn’t require hunting. He told us where to find it.  _ Why  _ can we not eat? _

“Saying that there is food and telling us where to find the food is  _ not  _ giving us permission to eat his food, Diana!” Nelika said sternly as she wrestled with her hunger long enough to close the pantry once more. 

_ He didn’t say we couldn’t eat,  _ Diana insisted, her nose leading her to a woven basket of apples on the counter beside the stovetop.  _ Why would he tell us where to find the food if he didn’t expect us to eat it?  _

Nelika swatted at Diana’s nose, a little stab of guilt punching between her ribs as Diana’s ears dropped and her eyes went big at the silent reprimand. “He told us because  _ Daiyu  _ was asking. He and Daiyu have a relationship he obviously would like to see rebuilt in some form or fashion. He would like to have less than nothing to do with  _ us.  _ So, we are going to do  _ nothing  _ to unnecessarily piss him off—Diana!” 

Nelika shot forward, looping her arms around Diana’s neck to pull her wandering nose away from where it had found a stash of carrots that were hanging from a hook in the corner of the room. Diana’s ears swiveled out to the side sheepishly. 

Nelika gave her a cross look. “You need to keep that wandering nose to yourself. We are not going to touch  _ anything.  _ We need to keep him happy. Which means staying out of his way, not making any disturbances, and absolutely,  _ not  _ touching his  _ food  _ without  _ express permission.”  _

_ Fine,  _ Diana yielded as she heavily dropped to the floor, gazing longingly up at the carrots.  _ So what are we supposed to do while we are  _ not  _ eating the food he expressly told us how to find? _

“Well—”

“And do you think I would be happy with Daiyu breathing down my neck because I let you starve because of  _ your _ forced  _ politeness _ ?” Alucard growled out as he entered the room, “ _ Eat,”  _ was all he said before depositing the baskets on the counter and leaving.

Nelika had hardly had the time to catch her breath after the scare of him silently entering the room before he was gone once more. Dread filled Nelika to the brim as Diana let out a gleeful howl before jumping up to grasp one of the carrots that had been taunting her. He’d told her to eat. She had to eat something. But he hadn’t said  _ what  _ she was supposed to eat. How was she supposed to discern what of the rich foods on hand she was supposed to eat? 

An agitated groan slipped past her as she forced herself out of the kitchen doorway to call down the hallway, “Wait! What are we supposed to. . . ” her words trailed off as she cast about the empty hallway helplessly. She blew out a harsh huff before muttering under her breath in reluctant awe, “So fast. . .”

She reached up a trembling hand to clutch at the lunula around her neck, finding a moment of comfort in the familiar weight and shape of it filling her palm. She took another quick glance down the hallway before resolving to find the least valuable food in the kitchen and eating the smallest quantity possible. Nelika turned back toward the kitchen and choked on a yelp as she narrowly avoided colliding with the male.

“What?” Alucard asked, standing directly behind her.

She backpedaled quickly, gaze flashing to where Diana had half a carrot sticking out of her maw. Diana looked from Nelika to Alucard. She chewed faster. 

Taking a deep breath, Alucard turned, stepping into the kitchen area. “In case you’re not aware, this room is where you eat. The dog seems to understand. Why are you struggling with the concept?”

Diana let out a sharp snarl-bark at the referral. She always hated being called a dog. 

Nelika swallowed down the rebuttal at the tip of her tongue.  _ Keep him happy. Keep him happy.  _ “You have a rich supply of food here. I don’t wish to take advantage of your generosity. Please, would you let me know which food would be acceptable for me to consume?” She hastily continued before he could misunderstand, “I would be happy to help gather the food and help prepare it. I have no intention of putting any undue strain on your lifestyle.”

“Undue strain? Are you always this charming?”

Nelika floundered. Had she said something wrong? She had thought that to be a very meek response to his insults. What was he wanting from her? Did she just need to allow him to take his frustrations out on her? Her pride was already stoking her temper into a hot boil. She wasn’t certain how much longer she’d be able to accept much more of his verbal backlash.

Regarding her silence, Alucard took a breath and continued in a gentler tone, “No matter. Any food here you may have. I only ask that you don’t waste it. Do you know how to prepare the food?” 

“Would my consumption of any foods be considered as a waste? Would you please spare a moment to expand on your expectations of me?” Nelika asked, her mind whirling in an attempt to craft her diplomatic responses despite the torrent that was flashing through her inner dialogue.

Looking at her with a deadpan expression, Alucard spoke as if addressing someone who struggled with basic communication, “Waste would be if you threw things out that could still be consumed or used for another meal. You eating does not equate to waste.” 

Nelika’s mouth opened and closed like a fish thrown onto dry land. Her eating would not equate to waste? She was to be an indentured servant during her stay. That much went without question. Food going to the servant but not seen as an extravagant waste? It was such an inconceivable concept that her mind went blank. “Perhaps we have differing definitions of waste.”

A loud crunch filled the kitchen as Diana’s jaw snapped down on a carrot, her eyes wide as she glanced between Nelika and Alucard. 

Keeping his expression from showing further annoyance at the woman, or amusement at the wolf, Alucard addressed Nelika, “I doubt there is much of anything we share common definitions on. You are allowed to be here, because Daiyu spoke on your behalf. Thus far, your impression has been rather lackluster.” Her tendency toward duplicity was itching under his skin and hissing thoughts of treachery in his ear. Alucard stepped forward, leaning down slightly to be sure she could hear him as he lowered his voice, “Need I remind you, if I deem you to be a threat, I will act accordingly. I would implore you to carefully choose your words.”

Nelika would have loved to step into his space, glare up into his smug face and respond with her own words full of malice and threat.  _ Precisely. And you do realize what that means, don’t you? Daiyu is here because I am here. Perhaps you should think more on that and consider what it would mean for you to make me regret my decision to be here.  _

Instead, she took a step back and lowered her eyes in a shallow show of submission. “Of course. I will not forget your kindness or my place in the house. I apologize for my unwarranted crass response.”

He pursed his lips, “It is not my kindness you should be grateful for. If you had been left to my ways, you wouldn’t be concerned with what to eat any longer,” he paused a moment and continued in a slightly softer tone, “Don’t thank me with hollow words and gratitude that is ill placed.”

Nelika bit her tongue hard enough that the heat of tears burned her eyes and nose. She would not move from her shallow bow. She would not give him the pleasure of seeing her true emotion once more. She would keep her head down like her servants had done in Rome. She would make no spectacle of herself. She would endure what was necessary. 

_ But if he touches me, he  _ will  _ die,  _ She promised herself silently as she kept her gaze trained on the floor. 

Alucard studied Nelika’s bowed head for a few moments, “Once you have finished your meal, you’ll be able to find me in the main entrance. I can show you where the private rooms are, so you can choose which one you will inhabit.” Having finished, he turned and walked once more up the hall.

“My Lord,” Nelika fought to keep her tone smooth through the formal acknowledgement. She did not move for many minutes, until she was certain that even  _ he  _ wouldn’t be bored enough to linger and watch her break. When she lifted her head, her eyes were fierce through the tears. She spitefully strode to that basket of shining apples and tossed one to Diana.

“Eat as much as you want, Diana,” Nelika ground out. “You might need it if we have to leave.” 

So far as his actions had dictated thus far, Alucard was just another of the many men who had hissed, spat, and reprimanded her. Nelika would not subject herself to such treatment. She would regain her strength, and then, she would leave. A man with as much ire in him as Alucard was harboring would undoubtedly release it on her in time. Daiyu’s presence would only buy his grace for so long. And she would not stay long enough to see that time expire. 

Nelika wrenched open the pantry, grabbing the first thing in reach and forcing herself to mechanically tear into the food and swallow passed the lump in her throat. Diana came forward to push her head under her free-hanging hand, the offered apple laying forgotten on the floor. A sob tore from her at the comforting warmth and she hastily pressed a hand to her mouth to muffle the sound. Nelika froze, gaze casting about the room wildly for any sign that he had heard her and returned. If she’d learned anything, it was that they hated tears. More than anything else, she couldn’t show him her tears. 

She slipped to the ground with Diana, whispering into her fur, “We can get through this, Diana. We’ve seen worse, right?” 

Right? 

* * *

Once he reached the entrance hall, Alucard went to the steps and sat on the second step. “Fuck. . . What am I doing?” he muttered as he heard the unmistakable sounds of the girl in the kitchen breaking down. “She is Daiyu’s long time friend.  _ Why _ did she have to come here? It’s no place for anyone in search of,” he paused, thinking of what she had said earlier, “ _ sanctuary _ ,” he bit out the last word with a sad attempt of a laugh. “I suppose, this is yet another chance to not be completely alone. How much will I be used this time?” he asked as his lips turned down.

Though he despised the girl’s tendency to speak anything but the truth, he had to acknowledge, his actions and words had not been above reprimand. “Who am I fooling? I was deplorable.” he said with a deep sigh, “What was it Daiyu had always said? ‘Every sigh makes one a day older’?” he let out a soft chuckle, “If that is the case, I will be old sooner than anyone could imagine.”

Settling into silence with his thoughts, Alucard bowed his head in disappointment and shame for who he had become and how he had reacted. “I used to be better than this,” he muttered under his breath.

It was well past supper by the time Nelika allowed Diana to carry her to the foyer to face off against Alucard once more. Her cheeks were stiff with the trail of dried tears and red with the effort of her attempts to scrub the salt away. Despite her filth, she sat tall on Diana’s back, only dropping her gaze once she caught sight of a head of golden curling waves. The decision to curl in on herself was a calculated one that she hoped would convince him of her hopelessness, helplessness. 

_ Not a threat, not a threat, not a threat.  _

Even though she didn’t possess Diana’s ability to project her thoughts, she hoped the mantra would help remind her to keep the slouch curving her spine and curling her shoulders. She was silent as Diana came to a halt behind him. 

Diana let out a harsh huff of air to get his attention, her ears swiveled back toward where Nelika was settled on her back. 

Waiting a few more moments, Alucard slowly lifted his head. The expressions of hate, disdain, and haughtiness were gone, replaced with chagrin and shame. Keeping his gaze downcast he addressed the floor in a quiet voice, “Is there anything you are needing before you choose your quarters?” 

Considering their previous exchanges, Nelika decided brevity may serve her the best. “May I bathe, My Lord?”

“Please don’t call me that. I have never been a lord. Alucard, will suffice, “he murmured, “There are a few rooms that have a lavatory connected to the private chambers. Is that something that might be suitable to your taste?” 

Nelika fought against the groveling that was threatening to spill passed her lips. If anything, he had shown that just made him more angry. Instead, she merely mumbled into the fur between Diana’s shoulder blades, “Very much so, thank you.”

Rising to his feet in a slow motion, so as not to be too abrupt, Alucard turned to start up the stairs, “If you would follow me,” he spoke over his shoulder, “I will show you the rooms so you may choose what would be most to your liking.”

Panic set into her as she stared hard at the spot between Diana’s shoulder blades. Nelika was going to have to choose where she was going to be sleeping. With him. He would know where she was going to be sleeping. Should she ask to be closer to his sleeping quarters to be able to serve him if he called on her? Would he allow her to choose a chamber far from his own? How would she ask him? She started running through a dozen different ways to ask where his chambers were located—a hundred different ways to respond to his answer. 

As soon as they started up the stairs, Alucard couldn’t help but notice the physical changes that happened in the girl on the wolf’s back. Fear, terror. The signs were easy to read, like an open book.  _ What should I do? I wish Daiyu was here to help. _

“You don’t need to consider anything other than your personal preferences when choosing which room you would like,” he tried as a kind of clarification.

Nelika gave a distracted little hum in acknowledgement, it came out sounding far more desolate than she’d intended, but she rationalized that an added bit of weakness shouldn’t hurt. 

Diana was watching Alucard from the corner of her eye as she walked shoulder to shoulder with him. Between him and Nelika, the pheromones in the air were cloying. Even if she couldn’t smell the shame, regret, and mortification on him, his body language was enough of a dead give away. She’d met enough humans that could fake the body language well enough, but her nose had never led her wrong before. She tilted her head at him, drawing back so that she could bump her nose against his left arm. 

Alucard jumped slightly at the contact, and glanced down, where he made eye contact with the wolf’s silver eyes. Not sure if he should continue the contact, he tilted his head and quirked a questioning eyebrow at her.

Diana’s ears perked at the response, tilting her head as she waited for him to give her a pat. After a moment of him continuing to watch her and getting increasingly more confused, Diana bumped his arm again before dropping her nose to shove under his hand impatiently.  _ Humans can be so hard to train,  _ she thought in exasperation to Nelika. 

_ He isn’t human.  _ Nelika bit back her rebuttal. 

In response to Diana’s second nudge, Alucard lifted his left hand slowly and brushed the back of his hand along her right cheek. He said something so softly, Nelika couldn’t make out what he said, but it did prompt her to peek up at him past her curls.

Diana preened at his quiet praise, tail wagging happily. She knew it. Her nose never steered her wrong. He was a good one. She pushed the top of her head securely under his hand, waiting for him to give her a more devoted scratch. 

Unable to keep a corner of his mouth quirking up in a half smile, Alucard complied with Diana’s wishes and more firmly rubbed along the top of her head, to her ear, but not going past that point, afraid of further upsetting the girl if he got too close to her.

The tension in Nelika began to unwind as she watched Alucard respond to Diana’s promptings with not a reprimand, but an intrigued quirk of his lips and gentle compliance. Warmth flooded through her limbs as she fought against a smile, watching Diana lift her head, tongue lolling out the side of her mouth as Alucard scratched down her throat. 

Diana was having a hard time focusing on not getting distracted by the scratches and straying from their path. Their bumbling procession came to a screeching halt as Diana tripped over her own paws, Nelika was almost sent flying as the wolf stumbled to her knees. 

As she tripped, Alucard’s hand shot out to catch Diana by the chest, before she could truly fall and completely unseat her rider. Once she was righted, he stepped back, “Sorry,” he muttered. His gaze once again fixed on the floor in front of him.

Nelika had been thrown forward onto Diana’s neck during the spill, giving her a front-row seat to watch Alucard’s expression bounce between relaxed amusement to shock to sheepish within the span of a moment. She blinked numbly at him, forgetting to keep her gaze gravitated to the floor. 

Diana turned to Alucard, with all the best intentions of giving him a quick lick on the chin in thanks. Nelika saw it coming on before Diana felt it creeping up on her. Nelika reached out to Alucard, urgency written across her features, but the words stuck in her throat. But then it was too late and Diana was sneezing right in his face. 

An awkward laugh burst from Nelika. How do you diplomatically tell someone, get out of the way, she’s going to sneeze on you? The laugh then turned into an uncontrollable giggle at the look of resigned shock on his face. 

“I feel as if I deserve at least this much,” Alucard said as the corner of his mouth turned up slightly, “We’ve reached the wing with the chambers. They are the three doors on the right. I will leave you to explore them, and decide which one will be yours. If there is nothing else, I will take my leave.” 

“If I may,” Nelika blurted out before she could think better of it, “what else is in this wing?”

“Other private sleeping quarters. It’s just these three that have the en suite.”

Nelika fought against the urge to ask him straight out where  _ his  _ sleeping quarters were. After a prolonged moment during which Alucard’s expression remained flat and Nelika continued to flounder, she finally just dropped her head. “Thank you.” 

He turned back down the hall, but stopped a few steps away, turning partially back, “I am sorry for my actions and behaviors today. I hope you will be able to find some peace and rest.” With that he turned and disappeared down the hall.

Nelika watched him disappear with a diluted sort of hope beginning to bud within her. He’d left. He had bid her good night and he had  _ left.  _ He hadn’t gone into one of the three chambers. Perhaps there was a master’s quarters in the castle. If Clementia smiled on her, they would be  _ far  _ from her own. She motioned Diana toward the furthest bedroom down the hall. She openly gaped at the four-poster, canopied bed, ornamented with exquisite crushed velvet pillows and a thick comforter. She blinked in surprise at the hearty fire blazing joyfully in the fireplace. Had he known she would choose this chamber? 

She immediately left to check the other two rooms, walking back in to Diana, thoroughly perplexed to have found all three rooms almost identical. Down to the roaring fire in the hearth. She shook her head, resolutely yanking at the ties of her dress in preparation for a much needed bath. She tugged her dress over her head, ashamed at the speckles of dried mud that pattered onto the floor with the garment. She tossed it into the corner of the obnoxiously large room, turning to the lavatory in her underthings and coming up short as she found a series of knobs, levers, and chains adorning the porcelain claw foot tub.

She stared. When staring did little to help her divine the inner workings of this strange bathtub, she hesitantly reached out to turn one of the knobs. Nelika flinched at the grating metallic squeak that accompanied the twist. She chewed on her lip in befuddlement. Alucard hadn’t said that she would need anything in addition to the accompanying lavatory in the chamber. Surely, he would have directed her to a pump to draw water up for the bath if it had been necessary. She hesitantly tugged on a chain and screeched as ice cold water poured over her head from a disc she had previously disregarded. She huffed, disgruntled, as she shivered, her wet curls dripping steadily through her underthings. 

Nelika let out a helpless little whine as she looked over the various knobs, levers, and miserable chain once more. There was only one solution to her current predicament. “Diana?”

A curious, twitching nose poked through the slight door frame. 

“Could you please go ask Daiyu how these infernal things work?”

Diana gave her a wolfish, huffing laugh before her nose retreated. Nelika sullenly discarded her underthings with her dress in the corner before sitting in the tub and glaring at the devices that undoubtedly were meant to provide her with a bath. 

* * *

Alucard was just about to head to the kitchen for some food, when he heard the padding of the wolf’s feet coming from behind. A part of him was hopeful she had come to keep him company, but his face morphed into a small pout as she trotted right past him, out the door. 

_ Wait. Where is she going? Please don’t tell me I’m going to be left alone in here with the little volatile one. _

Shaking his head he continued to the kitchen and prepared a simple meal of dried meat, bread and cheese. Just as he was sitting down to eat, he heard the paws padding back into the castle with purpose. Maybe she just needed to take care of her natural needs. For whatever reason, he was glad she had returned.

Diana caught sight of him craning his neck to watch her through the kitchen doorway and gave him a lopsided wolfish grin. Her mouth snapped shut, nose twitching as she caught scent of the dried sausage he’d procured for his late meal. She turned her head towards the chambers Nelika had chosen in consideration before turning to trot into the kitchen. Nelika had waited this long, she could wait a while longer. Her tail wagged lazily as she shoved her head into Alucard’s lap, gazing up at him hopefully.

He watched her approach him with a hopeful expression. After she shoved her head onto his lap Alucard continued to watch her for a moment, “What can I do for you?” he queried softly as he reached up and started scratching her behind an ear. 

Diana indulged him, tilting her head into his palm for a moment before lifting her nose towards his plate and giving an optimistic whine. She gave him another open-mouthed grin, tail wagging in earnest now. 

Alucard let loose a hearty chuckle. “At least you are up front and honest with your desires. I respect that,” as he hummed this, he reached over and plucked a piece of meat from his plate and held it out for her.

Diana backed away from him carefully to be sure she didn’t hit anything, she’d gotten scolded enough times that it was more habit to her now than a conscious decision. She turned in a quick circle to expel some of her excitement before settling down to sit beside him and carefully take the meat from his fingers. Once she was certain she was free of any obstacles or fingers, she tossed the morsel into the air with an extravagant flair, standing on her hind legs and stretching up to catch it from the air. She licked her chops emphatically, trotting forward to nuzzle against him in silent appreciation. 

“While I would love to keep you longer, I doubt you were sent to linger with me,” Alucard whispered, “How about one more piece for the road?” he finished with mischief in his voice.

An ear had sheepishly swiveled to the door at the reminder of her task, but both ears perked at the mention of another treat. She smacked her lips in anticipation, gaze straying to his plate once more.  
Allowing a full smile to grace his features, Alucard glanced at his plate, and selected the largest remaining piece of meat on his plate, “Hear you are, noble one.”

Diana didn’t take the piece from him this time, backing a few feet away, her tail a delighted blur behind her. She prompted him with a playful yip, bouncing on her paws in anticipation, her gaze glued on the slice of meat in Alucard’s hand. 

Observing her antics, Alucard tilted his head and asked, “You want me to throw it for you?”

Diana gave a snort rolling her eyes,  _ No, I want you to make a craft out of it and sail it to me. Just throw the meat!  _ After a moment, she remembered that they hadn’t forged a pack line yet and he wouldn’t be able to hear her. She settled for bobbing her head up and down in a semblance of a nod of affirmation. She threw in another yip for good measure, just in case. 

As she nodded, Alucard reflected her momentary pause, “I would imagine you said something worth hearing. I’m sorry, I don’t seem to be able to hear your voice,” with some sorrow in his own voice, and he tossed the piece of meat in the air toward Diana.

All four paws left the ground when she went for the piece this time, her body curving in an arc of gleeful expression as her jaws snapped down around the treat. She happily licked the remnants from her whiskers as she trotted back over to him. She actually managed to land a lick on him successfully this time before nuzzling into his side again.  _ Don’t worry, you keep giving me meat and you’ll be able to hear me in no time, Flat Tooth.  _

“. . . Flat tooth?” he asked in bemusement, “Who taught you that?”

Diana cocked her head at him, an ear flopping flat in her surprise.  _ Well, that was fast. Some things don’t need to be taught but experienced.  _ She gave him another wolfish grin and bumped his shoulder affectionately with her muzzle.  _ You were right about one thing, though, I have something I’m supposed to be doing at the moment. Your baths are a pain in the ass.  _

Alucard allowed the slight to pass, she was a canine. “Ah, apologies. I forget that the bathing systems here are far advanced compared to most places. It seems I can’t do anything right by your owner.”

Diana let out a huffing imitation of laughter.  _ You should have seen her when she pulled the chain.  _

Alucard actually snorted, then quickly covered his mouth and nose with a hand, “Sorry, please never tell her you told me that,” his voice shaking with hardly controlled mirth.

Diana tilted her head at him, a canine tooth poking out of her lip in a look of confused malcontent.  _ I don’t know why I shouldn’t tell her, but I rarely share my conversations with anyone aside from the recipient. Nelika tells me I over-share and can’t respect basic human boundaries.  _

“Heaven help me. In this moment, I might have to agree with her.”

Diana’s ears drooped as she sulked. She turned towards the door, tail decidedly limp as she interpreted his words as a kind of round-about chiding. 

“Don’t feel bad,” Alucard pleaded with her, “I wish more of the world could function like you. You shouldn’t be expected to hold to  _ human _ boundaries. You’re not human.” 

Diana gave a hesitant wag as she looked over her shoulder at him. She thought again how right she had been, he was a good one. Her nose never lied. She went still, ears pricking as she heard Nelika hesitantly call to her from her wing, her voice just incrementally louder than the spoken word. 

“I believe that’s your queue to make a rapid exit,” Alucard advised as he cocked his head to the side. 

Diana turned toward the staircase once more before turning back to Alucard with a panting grin and happily weaving tail.  _ You were wrong about one thing. Nelika isn’t my owner. She is my family, my pack. You hurt her and Daiyu and I will hunt you down together and kill you. Thanks for the snack!  _ And with that, she bounded down the hallway. 

With a sad smile, he responded softly, “She is a fortunate one to have such a pack member as you. I shall consider myself warned as to the gravitas of any such actions against her. Good night, daughter of the moon.”

_ It’s just common courtesy to alert a new pack member to the inner workings of the pack,  _ Diana’s voice rumbled to him in amicable response despite her absence.  _ I wish a profitable evening to you as well! _

Alucard went stock still.  _ A new  _ what? He thought to himself.  _ No boundaries. . . I’m sure I'll have ample opportunity for this to come to greater light in the morning.  _ Keeping his thoughts to himself, he headed toward his study.

Diana relayed her procured information with minimal scolding from Nelika and Nelika was finally able to enjoy a hot bath to wash away the seemingly lifetime’s worth of filth on her skin and in her hair. She was asleep before she had fully finished brushing out her curls and climbing under the comforter. 


	4. Nelika's Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning definitely applies to this chapter. Please take care of yourselves!

_ Nelika had finally made her way into Dracula’s infamous library. It was even more grand than all of the stories she’d assumed to be over-embellished. The bookshelves traveled higher than the eye could track, curling and morphing and joining into other sets of shelves to create a marvelous networking of books. The binding’s colors ranged from the earthy tones of Diana’s fur to the darkest blues of night and reds of morning. _

_ She was curled into the window seat looking over the rich vineyards and rolling plantations of Rome, foot idly trailing over Diana’s side as she skimmed over the pages—thin and bleached like the books her father had once kept. The particular tome in her hand was a book from her father’s library. The story unfolded before her in images that danced above the lettering, as familiar as the tales her mother used to sing her to sleep. _

_ A man spoke her name. Nelika glanced up from the book—and met the dispassionate olive green of the crypt master’s gaze. In her hands was a log of the deceased. She was in the preparation chamber, suffocating on the dust of the dead that filled the catacombs. _

_ She backed away from the crypt master, casting about wildly for Diana. Nelika turned to flee, but she was moving so slow and he so quickly. He was on her. She opened her mouth to scream, but no sound came out. She tried again, to call out for help—for Daiyu, Diana, her mother, father—but how could anyone hear her when all that she could produce was a hoarse rasp? None came. _

_ His hands were on her, his body pressing against hers—his stench of stale beer and body odor and holy oil overpowering even the pungency of rot. His hand was around her throat denying the vomit that roiled in her gut—she couldn’t breathe— _

Nelika jolted awake, lunging for the edge of the bed as the vomit finally found the way clear. Diana whined softly beside her, licking any bare patch of skin long after the retching stopped producing substance. The salt of tears blended with the tight, acidic bitterness of bile as she tried to wipe a trembling hand over her lips. Her hand wouldn’t obey the command, fluttering faintly above the rumpled sheets. Her limbs were so weak, so heavy; the phantom weight and his grip on her lingered along with the taste. A garbled sob tore from her throat, equal parts hopelessness and fury. 

She forced strength into her limbs and shoved the back of her hand towards her lips. Her knuckles met her mouth with enough force to bruise. Nelika welcomed the sensation—she wouldn’t let him. She  _ wouldn’t let him _ have this kind of effect on her. She numbly wound her arms around Diana as the wolf wormed under her neck and chest, glare fixed on the low smolder of embers in the hearth. 

Terror began to build in Diana as she tried all of her tricks to bring her Nelika back. She tried bumping her, nuzzling against her, licking her face, whining at her, Diana even tried to project a thought to Nelika. She went cold as she found her connection with Nelika had gone dark. Where the warm vibrancy of Nelika’s consciousness usually resided, there was just a fathomless void. Diana panicked, throwing out a thought to Alucard, far too loud and fast,  _ FLATTOOTH!  _

“ _ Fucking Christ! _ ” Alucard shouted in alarm, where he had finally settled in for the night in his study.

A short-lived victory hummed through Diana as she heard his exclamation. Good, he could hear her.  _ Help! Nelika need help! Dream of bad man. Not okay. Need help! _

“What am I supposed to do?” Alucard shouted, not sure how loud he needed to be. “She  _ hates me.” _

Diana let out a helpless whine, redoubling her efforts to draw Nelika’s attention away from her demons.

Nelika absently smoothed her hand between Diana’s ears. She wouldn’t think of that night—she wouldn’t give him the pleasure. She tried to instead focus on the worn leather of the book that she had been reading—her father’s book that she’d been allowed to pilfer from his study as a child. It had been years since she’d even thought to remember the tale, but she had been able to remember it word for word, each detail and plot point so  _ perfectly  _ preserved in that beautiful library.

His olive-green gaze, flat and glazed, consumed everything.

She let out a wet whimper of a snarl in frustration, hopelessness holding fast to the frantic gallop of her heart. Nelika squeezed her eyes closed, only to snap them open once more as his gaze split and multiplied to fill every inch of the blackness found behind closed lids. Her very own Hydra. Diana let out another low whine, wriggling enough to bump her snout against Nelika’s ribs and cheek. She distantly brushed a hand over her fur.

Diana helplessly tried to nip at Nelika in an attempt to pull her out. There was no reaction. Diana let out a louder, yipping whine this time. This had lasted longer than any of her previous dark times. She still couldn’t feel Nelika along her pack lines. Something was very wrong. Diana threw out another stream of words in an attempt to summon Alucard.  _ Please! Need help! Not okay! Pack helps the pack!  _

Nelika let out a harsh huff.

It was ludicrous. Aside from that putrid gaze of his, the man in her dream hadn’t even looked like the crypt master. He had been all long and lean lines with broad, straight shoulders. His movements had been fluid and confident with a latent sort of power. A perfect foil to the crypt master’s short, stocky frame and rolls of pudge. And yet, her mind had so firmly introduced him and cemented the man as the crypt master.

Nelika blinked as the bedroom door’s creak announcing another’s presence, watching as if from under water. The light filtering in from the hallway was interrupted by the shadow of a figure—broad shoulders and long, lean lines. The man from her dream. The world snapped into immediate, cruel focus. A scream burst past her lips, startling all in attendance—the shock cutting the shrill sound short. The figure pushed further into her chambers, pulling another scream from Nelika. 

He’d come for her. She had to get out. She had to defend herself. How  _ could _ she defend herself? She had nothing. She was nothing. She had no strength with which to defend herself. Nelika pushed back to the furthest corner of her bed, a hand fisted in Diana’s fur hauling her along in her short retreat. Fresh tears poured down her face as Nelika bared her teeth at him, frantically casting about for an escape.

The man hesitated in the doorway, face obscured in the shadow provided by the candelabra in his grasp, “What? What’s wrong?”

“Stop, just—just, leave me alone!” Nelika had meant for a snarl, but all she could produce was a withered whimper.

He moved to set the candelabra on a side table, but froze as an animalistic garble tore from her. He paused gesturing to the fireplace, which roared to life in response, casting light on the room. “Nelika?” His tone was concerned, it was almost laughable. Was he trying to mock her—did he think she didn’t know why he was here? “Nelika, I mean you no harm,” redirecting his gaze to Diana he asked in a muted tone, “Is there nothing I can do?”

Diana gave a helpless whimper from where she had been dragged across the bed with Nelika.  _ Not okay,  _ she reiterated miserably.

Alucard gave Diana a pained look, but didn’t say anything.

“Get out,” Nelika whispered.

He remained where he was, making no move to leave or approach her, “Nelika, you need help—”

“ _ GET OUT!” _

The sound was shrill and whip-fast and terrified. Sobs overtook her, but she wouldn’t take her gaze from him. She wouldn’t let him catch her unawares again.  _ Never again.  _ There was a knock at one of the towering windows, soft but insistent. The man’s head jerked to the window, his shoulders drooping in relief as he made his way to the pane of glass, strides long and quick with purpose.

“Don’t!” Nelika pleaded, hissed, threatened—he turned back to regard her in a moment of pitying consideration, before releasing the locking mechanism and pulling back the pane.

The crisp breeze of night brushed against her skin. Nelika felt it like a physical blow. She’d always loved the serenity of night. Would he take another beloved thing from her? 

“Help her,” was all he said to the winged creature perched on the window frame, stepping back to grant them entrance.

“Why do you think I’m here,  ~~ Adrian ~~ ?” Daiyu asked softly, “Thank you for your help, but I think it might be best if you leave.” She glanced passed him to Nelika before meeting his gaze again.

A second wave of betrayal struck through Nelika. It was Daiyu. It was Daiyu who had come to his aide. Daiyu who was speaking to him like a friend—perhaps more. Why would she be so familiar with the man from her dream?

Tucking her wings in tight to her body, Daiyu stepped carefully into the room. “Nelika,” she said in a calm tone, “what year is it?” 

Nelika only let out a warbling hiss through her teeth. She knew this game. She was familiar with this game. She would  _ not  _ play this game right now. Not after the man from her dream had let this winged version of Daiyu in. Not when he was still in the room, hooded golden eyes watching her like a hawk with a mouse. 

“Adrian, I’m afraid the best thing you can do right now is leave. She seems to be viewing you as the main source of danger,” Daiyu murmured to Alucard, “Thank you for letting me in.”

Alucard surveyed the scene before him one more time, with a look of hopelessness, then turned on his heel and left without looking back.

Diana bumped Nelika’s hand with her muzzle a few more times before her ears perked at the scent Alucard had left in the room. Taking one last forlorn look at Nelika before determining she couldn’t help, Diana tore from her grasp. She gave a quick lick of gratitude across Daiyu’s jaw before tearing from the room after Alucard.

“Please let him know, I am not leaving him,” Daiyu softly intoned as Diana shot through the door.

Her eyes were intent as she searched the halls for her newest pack line. She skidded to a halt at his side when she found him, bumping his hand until he glanced down at her. She only offered a tender,  _ Pack takes care of pack. Daiyu is not leaving you. We are not leaving. Pack takes care of pack.  _

Looking down at her, Alucard felt the walls closing in.  _ This is not the place or time to show such weakness, _ he thought viciously. Just as his façade broke, he used his unmatched speed, and ran.

Diana did what she did best. She trusted her nose, and followed him. 

Waiting a few moments after Diana left, Daiyu took a step toward Nelika and asked the same question in a calm manner, “Can you tell me, what year is it?” 

Trance-like, Nelika rose from her huddle at the corner of the bed and stiltedly stumbled to the door. Her hands trembled as she threw the heavy wood closed with a sharp crack. She put her back to the door, sliding down the pane until her knees were pressed to her chin, her hands knotted in her curls. Nelika stared, unseeing at the hearth before her. She finally rasped out, “1477.”

“That’s right,” Daiyu said, coming to crouch in front of Nelika, but giving her some space. “Where are you?” 

Nelika’s mind swam.  _ Putrid, olive-green eyes. The sound of my mother’s screams. The crunch and scream of a pup in the ring. The stench of holy oil and beer and body odor.  _ “The church. Arges. No, the catacombs. No. No. The Gladiator rings. Diana. Where is Diana?” She gasped, her eyes going wide and frantic, a short break from her babbling. “He was here. He took her. He’s coming back for me next. On my gods.” Her words trailed off into lines of nonsensical Latin prayer. 

Grabbing Nelika with open palms on either side of her cheeks, Daiye spoke in a firm but kind voice, “Nelika, look at me. No! Look me in the eye—there, that’s right. Now, keep looking at me,” Taking her hand off Nelika’s left cheek she reached down and took Nelika’s hand, bringing it up to rest on her furled wing, “Nelika, what do you feel?”

Nelika hesitated, taking a moment to really feel the texture beneath her fingertips. She blinked. Her eyes were growing marginally more focused, her eyebrows furrowing. She thought that was—“Feathers?”—but she hadn’t felt a wing under her fingers since she’d visited the colorful foreign parrots and macaws at the Coliseum. She closed her eyes, trying to really focus on the feeling brushing against her palm—olive-green eyes exploded across her vision. Nelika whimpered, her hand fisting in the feathers. 

“That’s right. Feathers,” Daiyu assured. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a bar of soap she had grabbed as she followed Nelika to the door. Holding it up, she asked, “What do you smell?”

The memory of holy oil and beer and body odor were washed away by the cool clean scents of—“Mint and Eucalyptus”—Nelika breathed happily. She reached up a hand to grasp at the bar, securing it under her nose as she took in another deep breath. “Mint and Eucalyptus.”

“Yes, soap would have been adequate, but Mint and Eucalyptus is a perfect answer,” Daiyu warmly answered.

Nelika blinked up at her owlishly, brushing a hand over the feathers in her other hand. “Daiyu, why do you have wings?”

“So that I may help you fly.”

Nelika was quiet for a moment before jittering barks of laughter shook her frame, slightly manic in their severity. “I’ve lost my mind.”

Daiyu’s lips pulled into a soft smile, “We’ve all lost some part of our minds. But that doesn’t make us of any less worth.”

Nelika’s eyes began to cloud over once more. “Lost. . . Daiyu, I’ve lost Diana. Where is Diana? Did someone take her? I have to keep her safe.”

“Diana is close by, tending to the newest member of your pack. Alucard. He’s the newest member of the pack. You remember him? I told you so much about him when we were younger. He is in a great deal of pain and Diana is doing what any good pack member does.” 

Nelika squinted her eyes. She took in a deep breath, “Mint and Eucalyptus,” and stroked a hand over Daiyu’s wing, “Feathers,” her brow furrowed, “Alucard?” Her gaze was searching when she looked into Daiyu’s deep honey eyes once more. 

“Alucard. My friend. My family,” Daiyu gently stated.

“Alucard. He tried to kill me,” Nelika muttered, but her eyes were clearer, if a little bright with offense and annoyance. 

In a measured tone Daiyu started softly, “While you’re not wrong, there is much more to him than what you saw today—he is one of the most caring and devoted people I have ever known. What you saw today, was scars and injuries from deep wounds. That is not who he really is.”

Nelika chewed on this information before venturing, “His eyes—he has gold eyes, doesn’t he?”

“Indeed. Beautiful, golden amber eyes.”

“Not—not green?”

“Never green,” Daiyu confirmed.

Nelika nodded like this made all of the sense in the world. She droned, “Your friend is kind of an ass.”

Letting out a laugh, Daiyu nodded, “I seem to attract those kinds of friends.”

Nelika nodded very soberly, not in the least bit offended. She recalled the moment he had shown her to the room she was currently in. That moment before Diana had tripped when his lips had curled into a gentle smile. When she next responded, her tone was soft and fragile, “He has a good smile.”

“I would agree with you on that,” Daiyu paused to consider her friend, “Nelika, do you want to stay here? Or would you like to try flying with me?” 

Nelika gave her a shaky smile filled with as much mischief as she could muster. “I’ve always wanted to fly.”

“Yes?” Daiyu allowed a small smirk to play across her lips. “If you’d like, you can fly with me now.” 

“Take me away, my love,” Nelika responded in kind, letting her lashes flutter in teasing. 

“Very well, my dear,” Daiyu responded graciously, “come and feel what it is to fly.”

* * *

Diana plodded after Alucard at a steady pace, ears swiveling to listen to her pack. Though a part of her wanted to turn back when she heard Nelika calling for her, her sense of duty pushed her on to where she could hear the unfamiliar sounds of her new pack member’s distress. As a beta, it was her duty to take care of her new members. And whereas Nelika had Daiyu, the fathomless desolation and self-loathing that had been emanating from Alucard as he had left also required companionship. 

Her pace further slowed as she came upon a wing of the castle that reeked of emotions reminiscent of Nelika’s dark times. She raised her nose to the air as her gaze traveled over scorched walls and impact craters. The salty scent of sorrow urged her forward and she hurried on to her destination. When she came upon an open door, she didn’t hesitate before trotting in and turning in a tight circle to lay down around the ornate chair in a protective circle, gently laying her head in his lap. 

Letting out a gasping sob, Alucard only closed his eyes tighter, curled further into his hands he had been hiding behind, and took another shuddering breath.  _ Why is she here? She should be with Nelika. Nelika needs her! I’m used to being alone. . . I can,  _ he took a shallow breath,  _ I’m not wanted. _

Diana didn’t push him, but she did give a quick lick to the inside of his forearm, tilting her head to press against his thigh as she closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. Tears darkened the fur below her eyes, but she had no shame or desire to hide them. 

“Daiyu, why do you have wings?”

“So that I may help you fly.”

A sob tore from Alucard, hearing what was transpiring between his beloved friend and the girl he had abused. “I am. . . the worst, that there ever was to be brought into existence,” he choked out, “I long for what I have no right to, and freely injure what should never be touched.” 

Diana blinked open her eyes, gazing up at him with far more love, acceptance, and forgiveness than could be explained by a relationship forged in less than a day over dried meat.  _ I have met some that fit that description. But I know that it is not you, for they have never been able to hear my voice.  _

“Perhaps that is part of my accursed fate. To hear just enough of the good to think I might be better than the others of my kind, only to be reminded of what I truly am as the illusion is ripped away.” 

_ And what are you?  _ Diana inquired, licking at a tear that had made its way to his elbow. 

Opening his eyes a fraction, Alucard glared at a point on the floor, “A failure to my family and thousands of innocent lives, a murderer, a  _ monster _ ,” the last word came out in a hiss, full of conviction and hatred.

Diana sat up, shoving her muzzle between his arms to press on his shoulder, offering herself up for a hug.  _ That may be what you once were. But now, you are a member of my pack. And I do not accept any but the best into my pack. You now are my family with Daiyu and with Nelika. You aren’t alone anymore. And you don’t have to be unless you wish to be. _

“The last people that spoke such words of comfort, saying I was no longer alone, left. Once I had served my purpose for them, they left without looking back. They always leave. . . ” he finished in a bare whisper.

When Alucard still made no move to wrap his arms around her, Diana withdrew, curling into a tight ball at his feet with her nose pointed to the door.  _ Well, that is an easy enough answer. You can’t trust people. You should stick with your fellow monsters. I won’t force you to be a part of my pack, though. You can tell me to leave. I will sever our pack line and you will never hear me again. It is your choice. _

“Nelika, do you want to stay here? Or would you like to try flying with me?” 

“I’ve always wanted to fly.”

“Yes? If you’d like, you can fly with me now.” 

“Take me away, my love.” 

“Very well, my dear, come and feel what it is to fly.”

_ Another friend flies, with another than I, _ Alucard thought to himself, as silent tears streamed down his cheeks. “You are such a creature, any race or kind would be fortunate to have you among them,” Alucard’s voice broke on the last word. “For this moment, if it’s not too much to ask. . . Would you stay beside me?”

_ Of course, but my value does not diminish yours. We creatures of the night exist to help our brothers and sisters shine all the brighter. I will stay as long as you will have me, Flat Tooth.  _

“You are the finest the night has to offer, Daughter of the Moon.”

Diana peeked at him from over her shoulder.  _ Daughter of the Moon. Yes, I quite like that. Shall we dogpile? _

Without saying another word, Alucard rose, only to bend down and be covered in mist for a moment, emerging as a snow white Arctic wolf. Without waiting for a response, he curled into her side, laying his muzzle just behind her shoulder.

Diana’s tail whumped against the floor happily. Her nose never lied.  _ I knew you were meant to be a part of our pack.  _ She curled around him, muzzle resting on his shoulder as she let out a heavy breath before lifting her head once more to lick over one of his ears affectionately. 

Alucard twitched the ear Diana licked reflexively and let out a heavy sigh as another tear escaped to run down his cheek. 

* * *

Diana was pulled from the easy fields of sleep as Alucard slipped away from the snug bundle they had adopted the night before. She reluctantly peeled open an eyelid to watch him adopt his human form and disappear from the study, eyes intent. She lifted her nose to take in the air around his departure. Upon finding no compromising emotions lingering after him, she stood, stretching out her stiff joints, before turning in a tight circle to press into a corner of the study, her muzzle fixed on the doorway. Diana didn’t bother to keep track of the time he was absent, but she did give him a disgruntled grumble when he returned as an arctic wolf, gingerly attempting to snuggle in beside her once more. 

_ You’re a troublesome new pack member,  _ Diana chided gently as she used her muzzle to maneuver them both back into a comfortable dogpile. She gave him a few licks over the top of his head for good measure before curling around him with a sleepy declaration of,  _ you smell strange.  _

_ I believe what she means is, I smell like cleaning supplies,  _ Alucard thought to himself as he settled in, expecting to only drift somewhere between nightmares and feigned sleep. He had already gotten more sleep in the past few hours than he had over the past two weeks. To his surprise, sleep did find him again, but he didn’t realize it until he was roused to the sound of someone entering the castle just after the sun had risen.

Diana peeked out of drooping eyelids to regard him,  _ You don’t sleep much.  _ Her ear flicked to the doorway as she keyed in to the muffled sounds of Nelika creeping through the castle that had undoubtedly initiated his second bout of wakefulness. Her head shot up, ears pricked as she listened to the steady gate, pleased to find that Nelika seemed to have recovered from the night’s events. Diana curled over her shoulder, snuffling over Alucard’s head in eager excitement. 

Shaking his head at Diana’s antics, Alucard extracted himself from the excited wolf and rose, changing back to his human form. “Thank you for your kindness,” Alucard said softly, “I hope you never know how much it meant. Please note, breakfast for the two of you will be ready in an hour, not before,” he finished, as he turned and left the room with purpose.

Diana trotted out after him, tail swishing behind in an easy show of contentment.  _ It wasn’t kindness. As I told you last night, we are a pack now. Part of being a pack is taking care of the pack members. As such, it also should go without saying that such ‘kindnesses’ are not restricted to a single occurrence.  _ She cocked her head at him in inquiry,  _ You are making us food? Nelika and I? Does that mean you won’t be coming with me to greet her? _

Alucard let a small smile show for a moment as he glanced down at Diana, but it quickly faded, “While I find your complete faith and trust in the ‘bond’ of your pack admirable, I have seen first hand just how welcome I am around her. I can’t blame her for it.” He paused in contemplation. “No, it is better I avoid and minimize my interactions with her. For her own comfort.”

_ You just need to smile more,  _ Diana crowed, encouragingly flashing her own wolfish grin at him.  _ I know you heard their conversation, she likes your smile.  _

Frowning, Alucard spoke in a flat tone, “I don’t smile unless it comes naturally. Any other time I try forcing a smile, it comes across as flashing my fangs and that’s when people start running and screaming.” 

Her mouth closed, an ear dropping to the side as she considered that.  _ Your fangs are much more impressive than most peoples’. I don’t know why they would run instead of admire. Humans are strange.  _ She released a reproachful sniff, pausing as they came upon a branch in the hallway. She made for the voyeur connecting to Nelika’s chambers before turning back to give Alucard another affectionate bump of her muzzle.  _ Don’t forget your pack, Flat Tooth.  _

With that, she began leaping up the stairs in pursuit of Nelika. 

Alucard watched her bounding form until she disappeared from view then he turned and moved quickly towards the kitchen.  _ If I’m going to be well clear of the castle by the time they come down, I need to be quick. _

* * *

Nelika stood, frozen in her doorway as she surveyed her room. She had already left and returned to the room twice. Checked the other two bed chambers thrice. There was no sign of the mess she had left in her room. Furthermore, her soiled dress and corset were carefully laundered and laid out atop the fully made bed, each tasseled pillow meticulously arranged. 

She finally ventured further into the room, her steps soft and cautious as her gaze swept over the furniture, peeking behind bookcases and under the bed before swinging open the armoire—only to find additional clean nightgowns. Nelika glanced down at the night gown she was still sporting from the night before. It was littered with stray curls, down feathers and dirt—and despite all of that, still smelt lightly of vomit. She picked through her rucksack, only further disgruntled to find everything intact and exactly as she’d left it—down to her Father’s old pugio. 

She blew out a breath in exasperation, “What is this? Is the castle enchanted? Does it automatically clean the rooms?”

Nelika couldn’t deny the appeal. It almost rivaled the novelty of having warm water funneled straight into the bathtub.  _ In fact,  _ Nelika thought with a sly smile,  _ I think I’m due for another bath.  _ She tugged the nightgown over her head in one, quick flourish, throwing the garment in the corner that still sported her filthy underclothes from the day prior. 

It was then that one giant she-wolf burst through the door to her chambers, bounding in her excitement, tongue lolling out of her mouth. Nelika rolled her eyes at Diana, stepping forward to pull her into a tight hug, “Hello, my friend. Where did you get off to last night?”

_ While you were going for a flight,  _ her tone dipped with disdain at the thought of Nelika going for a flight,  _ I was here getting acquainted with the newest member of the pack!  _

Nelika stiffened, her eyes going wide, “The newest  _ what?” _

Impervious to her ire, Diana continued on happily,  _ The new member of our pack. You call him Alucard, I call him Flat Tooth, and he calls me Daughter of the Moon.  _ She paused to preen.  _ We were bonding.  _

Nelika stared at her for another moment of shocked disbelief before bolting forward to slam the door shut, suddenly feeling much less comfortable in her unclothed state. She spun on Diana with a heated glare, hands still pressed to the door. It was in that moment that Diana began to understand that Nelika was not as enthused as she was at the prospect of a new member in the pack. 

Nelika slowly stalked forward, her words low as she ground out, “You decided to make  _ Alucard  _ a new member of the pack? You spent the night  _ bonding with him?”  _ The betrayal ran so hot and deep that Nelika’s nose and throat burned with the threat of furious tears. “Diana, he almost  _ killed us both!  _ He threatened my life if I can’t keep him from regretting his decision to allow us to stay here! And while Daiyu was trying to keep me from losing my mind or claiming my own life,  _ you were  _ **_bonding_ ** _ with him?” _

Diana stood her ground, but her ears and tail were low.  _ He believed there was a need to defend himself. And he apologized for his words and actions! You would be assuming much to believe he is past hope of redemption. He is a good pack member.  _

Nelika snarled at her and Diana actually took a step back. “He isn’t a  _ wolf,  _ Diana! Just because he says he’s sorry, it doesn’t mean he is! How many times did—” Nelika choked. She took a moment to breath slowly, stomping over to the bathtub to dig her nails into a bar of soap while she regrounded herself.  _ Mint and Eucalyptus. Mint and Eucalyptus. Mint and Eucalyptus. Mint and Eucalyptus. . . _ Her eyes snapped open, alight with fury, “Can he hear your voice?”

Diana slunk low, letting out a breathy whine. 

“Answer me, Diana.” Her voice was pure command. 

Diana looked away,  _ Yes. He can hear my voice.  _

Nelika let out a growl of exasperation. “Diana, it isn’t like you to forge a bond with someone so easily! Why would you pursue a pack link with a man that wants nothing to do with us?”

_ He may want nothing to do with you, but he likes me,  _ Diana responded sullenly. 

Nelika narrowed her eyes at her, making her way to the door before flinging it wide, “Fine, then go enjoy some bonding time with your newest pack member.” 

Diana whined, scooting forward to lick Nelika’s calf in an attempt to console her.  _ Please, don’t be like this. I will admit, I had my reservations at first, but his intentions are good! He has been hurt, he is healing and he is learning. Have I ever steered you wrong?  _

“Don’t you dare talk to me about your nose right now,” Nelika seethed, a tear finally escaping down her cheek. “Get out, Diana. Go hunt or something.” 

Diana slinked out the door, stopping in the hallway to give her a woeful look. Nelika just leveled her with a steady look past the tears before closing the door on her.  __

_ He woke late in the night to clean your room,  _ Diana’s voice rumbled into her mind.  _ I’m sorry for adding to the pack without your approval, but do not blame him for that. Truly, he is a good one. _

“Out, Diana!” Nelika vehemently ground out, closing her eyes and clamping her hands over her ears in an attempt to push her out. After one prolonged moment of silence bled into another, bled into five, Nelika opened her eyes and staggered over to the bathtub. She yanked on the dials and levers in quick succession with a vengeance, her breathing ragged as she fought back against the tears that were hot against her face. It wasn’t until the water was pouring over her shoulders and through her newly shorn hair that she let the sobs overtake her. 

* * *

Not being able to avoid hearing the one half of the altercation upstairs, Alucard couldn’t help but flinch from time to time as the feisty Roman tore into her wolf companion. “And here we see a perfect example of why I should  _ never _ allow myself to become part of any group,” he muttered to himself in a scathing tone.

At that moment, a particularly loud outburst broke through his attempts to  _ not  _ hear what was transpiring in the room on the floor above him.

“Diana, he almost  _ killed us both!  _ He threatened my life if I can’t keep him from regretting his decision to allow us to stay here! And while Daiyu was trying to keep me from losing my mind or claiming my own life,  _ you were  _ **_bonding_ ** _ with him?” _

Closing his eyes, Alucard froze. He didn’t even breathe. It wasn’t comfortable, but he didn’t feel like comfort was something he had a right to.  _ I deserve every word that is being spoken of me. In fact, a heavier and harsher vocabulary would better suit the monster I am.  _ He continued to stand there, denying himself the comfort that was breathing, as he listened to all the accusations that were his to bear. 

Once the door slammed, Alucard went back to preparing the food in silence. Pulling out a couple of platters, he arranged a variety of dried and fresh fruits, a piece of bread, some meat, and cheese on each serving dish. Pausing, he tilted his head, listening to confirm he wouldn’t risk running into the woman if he took the food up stairs. Even if she wouldn’t eat, he hoped Diana would be able to eat something. Taking a platter in each hand, he left the kitchen and headed upstairs as silently as possible.

Turning the corner, the first thing he noticed was Diana curled up outside the room she had been cast out of, looking possibly more miserable than he felt. Taking a breath to speak, Alucard started in a low voice, “I can understand if you don’t want to see me, but I have some food for the two of you, if you would like some.”

Diana had been watching for him steadily since she heard him depart from the kitchen. Tears had carved dark paths in the fur down her cheeks while she listened to Nelika weep, forbidden from offering her comfort. At his offer of food, she began heavily breathing through her mouth, lips fluttering in uneven wolfish sobs. When she spoke to his mind, her voice was steady despite the blubbering, but dripped with desolation,  _ Flat tooth! You are the best pack member! You brought food!  _

Sorrow deep in his voice, Alucard reasoned, “I’m sure you are mistaken. If not for me, you wouldn’t be in this situation, or state.” 

_ Will you sit with me?  _ Diana pleaded, eyes wide and ears flat.  _ You heard all of that. I’m sorry. I defended you, but her wounds cut deep, like yours. It’s not your fault, you know? It’s not her fault, either. It’s not even my fault. We’re all just monsters shaped by our circumstances. She will come around, with time.  _ She gave another miserable sniff. 

Considering her for a moment, Alucard turned and placed the food against the wall, beside the door.  _ Watch it be my luck to place them where she’ll step without looking and hurt herself, _ he fretted to himself, as he moved the platters a few times before he decided that was all he could do for the platter’s fates, and turned sinking down next to Diana, “I don’t think you continuing to pursue my company would be in your best interest. Your alpha has made it perfectly clear that doing so comes at a heavy price. One you should not have to shoulder,” pursing his lips he finished quietly, “I’m not welcome in this pack.”

Diana sniffed, forlorn, as she heavily moved to rest her head in his lap,  _ You sound like Nelika. Shouldn’t it be my choice to pursue what company I choose? And she isn’t my only pack member. Daiyu obviously values your addition to a pack.  _

Considering his next words, Alucard spoke in a measured tone, “I am planning to go see Daiyu. . . Would you want to come? It might do you and I both some good to get out of the castle and see what wisdom Daiyu might have for the current situation.”

Diana gave another sniff as she considered his offer. An ear flicked toward the door, her head tilting to echo the movement.  _ She’s crying. You can hear her, too. I will be here to cry with her and we will help each other through this dark time.  _ She tilted her head, offering him one of her grins.  _ It’s what we do. It’s what we’ve always done. Sometimes it's me, sometimes it’s her, but it's the pack responsibility to resolve disputes. Go, enjoy your time with the rest of our pack.  _

Frowning, Alucard looked over at the despondent wolf, “You are the best of any of us here. I’m sorry our meeting has been nothing but continual cause for your distress. If you need anything, call and I will try to hear you.” With that, he gave her a final rub behind her ear, rose, and strode down the hallway, almost as if he was running from something. 

Diana curled back into a ball, settling in to wait for Nelika to wear herself down. She sent a thought out to him,  _ It hasn’t been all distress. You give really good scratches and have the right number of legs for the perfect dogpile. I am happy to have you as a part of the pack.  _

To herself Diana thought resolutely,  _ Nelika will be, too.  _ She settled her head heavily on her paws, listening to the broken sobs bouncing off the porcelain bathtub.  _ She just doesn’t know it yet. But we’ll show her.  _

* * *

Nelika shivered in the lukewarm water, methodically rubbing the soap over her skin. She didn’t register the tight itch in her skin from the lye, just kept the circles steady. Up and over her shoulder. Around her hip and down her thigh. Bumping over the knobs of her spine and ridges of her ribs. Over and over and over. 

_ Mint and Eucalyptus. Mint and Eucalyptus. Mint and Eucalyptus. Mint and Eucalyptus. _

Her sobs had faded with the heat of the water, leaving her tears to silently fall down her cheeks. She watched the disturbance in the water numbly. 

Diana had left her. Diana, the one member of her family to never leave her. Diana, the one who had been there when her mother had burned. Diana, the one who had burst in through the stained glass with a snarl to shake the very skies. Who had then torn him away from her but let Nelika make that definitive, killing blow. Her beautiful, faithful, forgiving wolf-sister that had remained when everyone and everything she knew faded—she had left her to fight with her demons. To  _ bond _ with one of those very demons. 

_ Mint and Eucalyptus. Mint and Eucalyptus. Mint and Eucalyptus. Mint and Eucalyptus. _

Nelika took in a shuddering breath, exhaustion finally pulling the bar of soap from her aching fingers. She held up a trembling hand, watching the suds drip down to her elbow. What would it feel like, to sink under the surface swirling with suds and dirt and everything she could never wash away? If she breathed in, would it shove under her ribs like a knife, or would it feel like wings and arms curled around her, hurtling through a star-filled night sky?

With lead-filled limbs, she threw an arm out to drain the tub. She was tired. Far too tired for having woken up beside Daiyu just a few hours prior. Yet, when she lifted her gaze to the towering window, the sun was mocking her from it’s pinnacle in the sky. She pushed to her feet, numbly flicking a lever, turning a knob, and pulling the chain. Warm rain fell over her from the disk above the tub. Nelika didn’t even have the energy to summon amazement at how quickly the water soaked through her hair now that it was clipped close to her scalp. 

She was just so tired. 

Without even bothering to be sure all of the suds and lye had been rinsed from her skin, Nelika choked the flow of water and stumbled out of the tub. She took one look at her corset and dress before fisting her hand in the light, velveteen comfort of a throw blanket that had undoubtedly not been created to dry oneself after an extended bath. Even if she were able to muster up the strength in her limbs and the desire within her to dress, there was a sort of terror that came with the knowledge that  _ he  _ had laundered them. What would it say if she dressed in clothes  _ he  _ had prepared for her? 

Nelika pulled the blanket tight around her shoulders, sinking to the ground to press her back against the frame of the bed. There was a shock of cold as the water dripping from her curls crept through the fabric to kiss the skin of her shoulders. She shivered, wanting nothing more than to curl up with Diana. 

“Diana?” Nelika called softly, the effort of being angry with her proving to be too much. “Please, won’t you come in?”

As sure as the moon’s path across the night sky, Diana nosed open the door. Nelika’s chest warmed and twisted. There hadn’t even been a doubt in her mind that, despite her words, Diana would be waiting for her call. As Diana meekly plodded over to curl up beside her, Nelika reached out to brush a thumb through the moist trail of fur marking the wolf’s tears. 

Nelika gave her a sad smile, “You were crying for me.”

Diana rubbed her cheek against Nelika’s palm, giving her a low whine. 

“Why do you think I was cross with you, Diana?”

_ I added a new member to the pack without your approval,  _ Diana sniffed dejectedly. 

Nelika’s heart wrenched and she threw her arms around Diana’s neck, “No, you silly mass of fur! Your pack lines are your own to forge. Just as I can create relationships without your approval. You are a person in your own right, Diana. I will not dictate to you. It is your decision whom you determine worthy to hear your voice.”

The patch of light fur above her silver eyes twitched in confusion.  _ But you are alpha. And you were so angry.  _

“No, Diana,” Nelika cut in gently, “I felt betrayed. I spoke to you in anger and I deeply regret doing so. A good alpha respects the pack. Please, forgive me, Diana.”

Diana licked gently at the tears on Nelika’s cheeks,  _ There is nothing to forgive, Nelika. _

Nelika crawled onto Diana’s back and the wolf obligingly laid down, curving her neck over her shoulder to lay her muzzle atop Nelika’s thigh. They let out twin huffs of air, Nelika immediately feeling at home nestled in Diana’s fur. 

Nelika folded her arms below Diana’s shoulder blades, resting her head on the cross of her forearms.  _ Mint and Eucalyptus.  _ Betrayal pricked beneath her ribs as she scented the soap on her skin. “Where were you, Diana?” Nelika whispered. 

Her frenzied exclamations from the night before burst across her consciousness like lightning cracking the calm of a summer storm.  _ Lost. . . Daiyu, I’ve lost Diana. Where is Diana? Did someone take her? I have to keep her safe. _

Diana curled around her tighter, licking across her thigh consolingly.  _ I never left you. When I could not reach you in your dark time, I was reaching out to those that could. I’m sorry, Nelika. I wanted to help you. I tried to help you. I. . . wasn’t enough.  _ Fresh tears trailed through her fur as she blinked woefully at Nelika.  _ I wasn’t enough for you, but I could get someone who was. And then, I had to turn my gaze to those that I could help. You were not the only one hurting. _

Nelika squeezed her eyes shut, wishing her eyes had enough moisture left to offer up her own tears. Instead, the base of her skull throbbed with a headache and her chest felt too heavy. Diana had been there. Diana hadn’t left her. “I’m not worthy of such a gift from the gods. I am sorry to have ever doubted you, Diana.” She took a moment to breathe deep through the ache before gritting out a strangled, “Alucard was hurting?”

Diana blinked up at her. 

Nelika swallowed hard. The idea of him hurting, being hurt by her, was in such stark contrast to the man who had stood above her, threatening her life with the promise to carry through bright in his sharp gaze. Her very being rebelled against the idea of accepting him into the tight family unit she had recently accepted would be restricted to only Diana and she. In the past 24 hours, two more had been welcomed back into that family unit. One that she would have much preferred had been left outside of their pack. 

Nonetheless. 

Nelika sucked down a tight breath, “Well, I suppose you were just being a responsible pack member, then.” 

Diana’s tail gave a hesitant whump.  _ Pack takes care of the pack.  _

Nelika gave her a wavering smile. “And what can you tell me about the newest addition of our pack?”

Diana’s tail stilled, ears swiveling sheepishly.  _ It’s private.  _

Nelika gawked. “Private? Diana, you don’t know the meaning of the word.”

Diana pouted.  _ I know the meaning well enough, the human conceptualization of the word is just ludicrous.  _

“Then how, pray tell, did you determine this to be private?”

_ Thoughts and feelings shared in the privacy of the den are to remain so,  _ Diana responded defensively. 

Nelika blinked at her. “The den? Alucard has a den?” 

Diana sniffed reproachfully. 

“Tell me this, at least, what is it that Alucard wants from us? You can tell me that much, yes?” 

Diana looked away slowly, considering, before responding evenly,  _ Comfort.  _

Nelika barked out a laugh. “ _ Comfort!  _ Oh, Clementia, guide me. He wants us to provide him with comfort? After refusing to tell us what food to eat, taking us to an exuberant chamber, and trying to kill us, he wants  _ comfort? _ ” 

_ You misunderstand,  _ Diana spoke into her mind over her incredulity,  _ He doesn’t wish for you to serve him. He wants a pack.  _

Nelika narrowed her eyes at her, “And he told you this?”

Silver eyes looked away, a canine poking out over her lip in consternation. 

Nelika sighed. Taking Diana’s thoughts and impressions at face-value was looking for trouble. A wolf’s interpretation of human actions were rarely accurate, despite her ability to scent the emotions behind one’s actions. “I suppose I will just have to ask him myself.” She burrowed back into Diana’s fur with a contented smile, eyes drifting closed as she let out a sardonic, “It would be rude of me to not welcome the newest member of the pack, afterall.”

Her eyes snapped open as Diana lurched to her feet, tearing out of the room and down the hall, her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth, ears pricked with excitement.  _ Yes! You have to properly greet the newest member of the pack! _

Nelika scrambled to pull the blanket tighter around her shoulders, leaning close to Diana’s shoulders to avoid tumbling over her haunches and into the marbled floor. “Diana! Not now! I’m not even dressed!” 

Diana skidded around a corner, bounding for the thread of her pack line, taking in quick sniffs to confirm that he had left the castle. He was still close enough for her to trace the line to him, close enough for her to throw out an overzealous,  _ Flat Tooth!  _ Before recognizing the parallel line beside him and tossing out another thought,  _ Daiyu! Nelika is coming to greet Flat Tooth! _

“Diana!” Nelika called out again, unable to put enough command into her voice with the mortification flushing through her as the sun hit her bare shoulder, knee, and curls. A steady stream of curses escaped her as she pulled the blanket into a hood over her head, tucking the corners around her hips in an attempt to cover as much of her body as was possible. 


	5. Daiyu and Alucard's Walk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daiyu and Alucard have a chance to catch up.

Alucard heard Diana’s last message, but decided entertaining further conversation at the moment wouldn’t do either of them any good.  _ She needs to be there for her pack. Her pack is the distraught woman in the room, not me.  _

He hastened his pace, as he made for the main hall and through the doors. Once outside, he immediately started looking for his longtime friend. He spotted her, leaning against a tree, watching him approach. She had been waiting. Just seeing her brought on emotions he had felt the evening before—surprise, anger, betrayal, longing, hope. __

_ Do I still have hope? _

Clamping down before everything could come spilling out for Daiyu to see, he made his way to her and came to a stop a few feet away. 

Watching him approach Daiyu noticed details that gave away what he had been through since she’d seen him the night before. Everything about him was stiff and formal. There was an almost imperceivable way he carried himself. Like someone that was carrying the weight of the world, but determined not to show it. Guilt and regret nawed along her ribs. 

_ If he hates me after today, I wouldn’t blame him,  _ she thought to herself, as she looked for further signs of his struggles. She didn’t have to look far. “You start using a new hair product?”

“What? No,” he responded, reaching a self-conscious hand up to run it through his hair.

“Maybe you should consider trying something new, then,” Daiyu suggested, mirth just under the surface of her even tone. Diana’s form of affection was evident from the ways his usually gentle waves were laying haphazardly and sticking out at random, “You’re bedhead has advanced to another level.”

Running his fingers through his hair, Alucard realized, “In a sense, I suppose I did use a new method last night. Seeing as how it was the only one available.” He gave her a pointed look, tying his hair back to avoid further drawing attention to it.

Daiyu flinched internally. “Ah, Diana,” Daiyu stated, glancing at his hair, now pulled back in a messy bun. “Is there anything you were wanting to harvest in particular? Or would you prefer to see where the path takes us?” She pushed off from the tree as she finished.

“What? You’re not going to stay to ensure you’re dear friend won’t relapse or do something else of a questionable nature?” 

Daiyu considered him for a moment. “Judging by the state of your hair, you should know, Nelika is with some of the finest company this world has to offer. If there is a need, Diana will make it known.” Before Alucard could respond, she continued, “You are dear to me as well. Don’t assume because I am not always with you, that I’m not wishing for what is in your best interest.”

“And what was best for me was to leave me, as you flew off with your  _ dear _ ?” he hissed out the last word.

“Adrian,” Daiyu intoned, “walk with me?” 

After glaring at her for a few moments, he broke the silence, “Fine. Are we just going to walk?”

She gave him a quizzical look. He had never been able to maintain an uneasy silence for long. It was something Daiyu had always valued in him. He would address whatever the predicament was directly, “If you would be willing, I would like to speak casually, to better understand each other and some of what has transpired since we parted ways.”

“Oh, yes. I’m sure this will be a captivating stroll,” he bit out sarcastically, walking past her into the woods.

“Undoubtedly,” was her only response as she turned to fall in stride with him. 

“And how would you propose we go about ‘better understanding each other?” Alucard inquired as he carefully directed their path towards a particular grove he had happened upon. It was positively breathtaking with the shock of bright blue alpine gentian wildflowers blooming between the pale trunks and golden leaves of aspen trees. He hoped to have resolved the tension between them by the time they reached the thicket. 

Daiyu continued in silence for another minute. She considered that only a fraction of what needed to be addressed would be broached at this time, as she weighed her next words. “As we have always done, Adrian. With open, honest communication. Allowing both of us to fully explain ourselves, and listening to hear, not respond. Is there another way you have in mind?”

Alucard felt that jab between his ribs, glancing at her from the corner of his eyes. “You believe I don’t listen to you when we talk?”

Daiyu let out a small sigh, “No, you often hear more than is said.”

His brow furrowed as he looked away, mind drifting once more to the conversation he’d overheard between the two women the night prior. “Sometimes, there is little more to be heard than what is said.”

“You can always hear more than is said,” Daiyu stated, “Is there another way you would prefer for us to proceed with this conversation?”

“You coming into the castle would be a good start,” Alucard muttered.

Turning to look at him more directly, Daiyu’s eyes narrowed, “Before I start, I need to know, will you stay and hear me out? This is not something that should be left unfinished.”

“You would suggest I will run from you, Daiyu?” Alucard’s fangs flashed in an offended grimace. 

“You’re dodging the question,” Daiyu leveled back. 

“I didn’t believe it would ever be a question in your mind,” came Alucard’s soft response. He turned away from her, frowning into the undergrowth.  _ I’ve turned even Daiyu against me. I truly have become a monster if she no longer has faith in my resolve. _

“I only ask this of you because of what I have become,” Daiyu spoke in a voice barely more than a whisper as she scented the change in his emotions. From what she had been able to glean, he had retained a façade of himself, but most all of his former self assurance and confidence seemed to have become a part of the collateral damage for everything he had been through. “It is not something you have done that makes me seek this confirmation. It is because I have fallen so low, and want to know you will give me the chance to fully explain.”

Alucard turned back to regard her, carefully masking the way he fractured at her words. “I will stay and listen to any explanation you feel you need to give. Though, surely, you do not have any shortcomings deserving of more remorse than the ones I have shown you since your return.”

She couldn’t help but think he wouldn’t feel that way if he knew how much had changed and what she had become. “Thank you for that. I hope you don’t come to regret it—If you are willing, I would also like to hear your side.”

His head tilted in consideration, “My side?”

Taking a breath, Daiyu began, “Me entering the castle last night might be a good place to start.” She paused. “No, it started before then. As you are well aware, I haven’t always had the abilities and forms you’ve seen since my return.”

Alucard gave her a wry smile, “I almost impaled you.” His eyes widened with realization, “Ah, the snake. Though, I can understand the rest of your transformation—to an extent—the snake is still beyond me.”

Daiyu let out a small burst of laughter, “Given what you were faced with, I don’t blame you. I was rather shocked myself.”

Though trepidatious, Alucard managed to ask, “What. . . Where does it come from?”

“The transformations? . . . I don’t know.”

“The snake.”

“You’re rather hung up on that, aren’t you?” she responded, tilting her head to the side.

“It’s rare that you come upon a creature that is able to choke a sword familiar.” Alucard easily explained away his curiosity, neglecting to mention that the snake had very distinctly  _ not  _ smelled like Daiyu. 

“Mmm, you have a point,” she hummed, “It’s not something I would necessarily call a creature, though,” with that, she held out her hand toward him, palm facing down. For a moment there was nothing, then a flicking tongue, followed by a head peeked out, before retreating back under her sleeve.

Alucard blinked at the now unmarked, tan expanse of skin on her hand before looking back up to Daiyu. “That was a tattoo.”

“Yes, and no. It is more than just ink on my skin.” 

“And I am more than just human,” Alucard deadpanned back to her. “Would you like to sorely understate something else?”

A corner of her mouth turned up in a smile, “No, I think your description is a perfect comparison. In any case, with my new. . . abilities, certain senses have been amplified.”

Concern slipped through his stern expression, “Does it normally come off your skin?”

Taking a deep sigh, Daiyu turned to look at him squarely, “You’re hyperfocusing on something that, other than keeping you from running me through, doesn’t hold much relevance in this conversation.” A flash of fear drove out the exhaustion that was throbbing at the base of her skull and crossed her expression _.  _ “I heard you last night, Adrian. After you left the room—and went to the study. I heard you.” She finished in a muted tone.

Alucard blanched, going stock still as he reminded himself that he was not going to run from her or from this. He couldn’t help but feel slightly betrayed by the confessions Diana had pulled from him. That betrayal was nothing compared to the treachery of hearing from Daiyu herself that she had heard him, and still she had left him. Numbly, he managed a weak, “Do you have any other new abilities I should be aware of?”

Daiyu waited until he spoke, gauging his reaction. She fought the urge to reach out and comfort him as his scent betrayed him. She wished she could soften the blow, but she would not lie to him. “I’m not sure,” she responded in a muted tone. “Since my arrival at the castle yesterday, I have become aware of multiple new abilities. The amplified hearing, sense of smell, and sight started getting stronger when I was travelling across the continent to train with the monks. Though, they have reached new levels at an accelerated rate over the past month.”

“Well, I suppose there’s no reason in continuing the façade, then,” Alucard bitterly ground out, gaze fixed on the forest floor as he recalled the words he had shared with Diana. “You know what I am, what I’ve become. When should I be expecting your departure?”

“Unless you send me away, I’m not leaving,” Daiyu quietly responded, “More importantly, I do not believe for a moment that you are a monster.” She considered his stock still form. “You are worth so much more than you can comprehend. Your very existence is one of the greatest gifts in my life.”

Alucard began shaking his head before she’d even finished her words, a scoff tearing from him, “This said after I almost murdered one of your dearest friends before you.” 

He spun on her, desperation urgent in his eyes, “You don’t believe I’m a monster? Shall I show you, then? Or have you forgotten the bodies at my door? The ‘hospitality’ I have shown the woman who came seeking  _ refuge _ . . .” 

Daiyu stepped toward him, reaching up to place her palm against his cheek, “I have seen the things you speak of, but I can also see you. You’re not a monster. You’re hurting, and reacting to defend yourself.” She paused as she moved her hand to his hair for a moment before returning it to his cheek. “You didn’t know who Nelika and Diana were. That’s not your fault. Your hospitality has been. . . less than it could have been, at times, but you still went when she needed help. Even though you had no idea what to do, you went.”

His hand trembled when he loosely wrapped his fingers around her wrist. A tear slipped down his cheek. “He called me son. I hadn’t heard him refer to me like that since I was a boy. He looked at me like I was his treasure, and I drove a stake through his heart.” 

Daiyu felt her heart wrench in her chest at his confessions. Reaching up with her other hand to brush an errant strand of hair behind his ear, she looked into his golden eyes, “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have had to do that, but he made his choice. I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you. You had to choose inflicting deep wounds on yourself to save more than can be comprehended.”

He shook his head emphatically, “You’re wrong. I was too late to save them. There were so many lives lost. And even then, it wasn’t enough.” 

Hesitantly, and then more sure when she didn’t pull away, he looped his arms around her waist, laid his head on her shoulder, and crumpled around her form. “He thought he was doing it all for Mother. I could hardly recognize him. . . I took a  _ Belmont  _ into the castle. A  _ Belmont.” _

As he wrapped his arms around her, Daiyu reached around his shoulder with one arm while gently stroking his hair with the other. She welcomed his embrace as the pain of his words washed over her. If only she could hold him and drive the pain out, she would hold him forever.

“Your father was endlessly devoted to your mother. She was a light this world never deserved. What losing her must have done to you and your father, I can only imagine.” She fell silent and just stroked his hair for a moment. “It is good to remember the dead, but you should try remembering all the lives you saved. You didn’t fail. You did the best you could, and that is enough.”

“Be angry with me,” Alucard whispered, fingers digging into her sides. “You loved Mother and Father. If I had been there, if I had gotten there sooner, I could have saved her. You wouldn’t have had to lose any more of your family. If I had only been able to convince Father, pull him out of his madness, no one would have needed to die. If I’d been stronger—” He gritted his teeth against a sob, refusing to sink that low in front of her.

“If one of us should be apologizing for the loss of our loved ones, it is I,” Daiyu whispered. At least he had been there, she thought bitterly to herself. “Had I just stayed, none of this would have happened—” Her voice cracked as she turned her face into the crook of his neck, considering what her selfish actions had aided in bringing about. 

Lisa had asked her to stay.

_ Why don’t you stay with us? Vlad and Adrian would be able to help with the abilities and we all want to support you.  _

Daiyu pushed the memory down. At least Adrian was still here.

“You would still have your parents, and a home full of laughter and love. I could never be angry at you when all you’ve done is more than anyone else could do.”

“You’re wrong,” He repeated, a wet growl into her neck, “That night, when Mother died, I went to see Father. I knew he would react unfavorably. I didn’t fight him. I didn’t want to hurt him. I was foolish and so many paid for it. I deserve to have an empty home if only to pay for all of the homes that are now vacant due to my sentimentality.” 

Daiyu tightened her arm around his shoulder as his agony and self-hatred roiled around them. “Your unwillingness to harm your father shows that you loved him. How could you be expected to kill your father, without first hoping and trying for something less drastic? You going to see him, knowing how he would be, shows your strength. You put aside your grief to go to your father. It’s not your fault he chose the way he did.” She paused, carding her fingers through his hair.

“He should have chosen you,” she whispered, then waited a moment. She had chosen to walk away before. Not again. Not unless he told her to. 

“I won’t try to make you change your mind, but I don’t believe for a moment that you deserve a cold, deserted place to call home. If you need quiet and time to yourself, I will respect and support that, but I will not be leaving again of my own accord.”

Alucard closed his eyes tight, not offering a response. Could he allow himself to truly believe that again? While a part of him wanted to believe Daiyu would be different, that this time, he wouldn’t be left alone—a large part of him screamed that it was more than he deserved. The universe found ways to create equilibrium from human chaos, it was a lesson he had learned beside Daiyu from her mother. One he had come to know all too well in the past years. 

“I don’t blame you, if you don’t believe me. I’ve left once before,” Daiyu continued after he remained silent. ”Even if you can’t fully trust my words at this time, would you be able to try? It could be a day at a time, if that’s what you need.”

After another prolonged moment of silence during which he fought with himself, Alucard pulled away, turning back toward the grove of trees. He murmured to her, “There is somewhere I would like to show you. Will you come with me?”

Feeling him pull away, the thought that he would tell her no, and to leave, jumped to the front of her mind. As soon as she heard his request, relief flooded in.

“Of course I will go with you,” she softly stated as she followed him.

After a moment of them walking in silence, Alucard gave her a sidelong look. She looked dejected, a mirror to the self-deprecating thoughts that had haunted him the past few months. The emotions on her face curled uncomfortably between his shoulder blades. He cast about for a way to pull her out before giving her a coy smirk and quiet challenge, “Do you think your newfound abilities would lend to a more evenly matched race?”

“That seems hardly fair,” Daiyu responded as a soft smile pulling at her lips. “I don’t know where we’re going.”

His smirk widened into a genuine grin, “I suppose that means you’ll have to stay close.”

She quirked a brow at him, appreciating the lighter banter, “And guarantee your victory?”

He tilted his head, considering what he could use as a mark without exposing the surprise of the golden thicket. “When the race becomes a match of distanced jumping, we will have reached our destination.”

“Distance jumping? Are you sending me off a cliff or across a river?” she teased back. “I should also mention, I don’t know how to bring on my transformations.”

Alucard snapped a look of shock toward her, the rapidly forming plan in his mind disintegrating. “You don’t mean when you pinned me to the castle, that was your first time transforming?”

“That is precisely what I mean.” She considered him for a moment. “Before yesterday, I had never transformed. The full or partial transformations.”

“And you did so to pin me to the castle. I’m not certain if I should be flattered or offended,” he responded with a raised brow.

“Be flattered,” she stated flatly. “If I hadn’t transformed and been having an internal panic attack, I would have done much worse than pin you to the wall.”

“I do hope you’re prepared to do your worse, then,” Alucard shot back, getting ready to run.

She just waved a hand in a shooing gesture at him. “Off with you! I’ll catch up eventually.”

Alucard’s smile faded as he relaxed once more. “Well that’s hardly a race.”

“I’m fast, Adrian. But in this form your speed would still be far superior to my own.”

His eyelids lowered, expression turning teasing. “Shall I carry you, then?”

She let out a snort. “How about, you stay close and show me the way? I’ll remember how to return to this place better if I go there on my own feet.”

Excitement jumped in his chest as he fought to keep his expression steady. “Very well, how close would you like me, Daiyu?”

“A regular running distance will do,” she said with a practical edge. “You can choose if that is in front of or beside me.”

_ I would prefer behind you _ , Alucard thought, mortification threatening to color his cheeks at her many side-passes to his attempts at pursuit. Before his emotion could get the better of him, he adopted his wolf form and set forward at an easy lope. 

_ Still shifts into that form when he has something to hide, I see. I wonder if he’s made the connection for the inspiration for it, _ she thought as she broke into a run, catching up to him after a few moments. 

“You can go a bit faster, if you’d like,” she said with a smile.

He bounded forward immediately, shooting between the trees at a pace far too swift for any wolf. 

“That’s more like it!” she let out in a laugh, falling behind his retreating form.

After a few furlongs, Alucard came upon the pile of boulders that he had decided to scale out of boredom one afternoon, their formation and appearance suggesting a landslide of ages past. He flicked an ear behind him to listen for Daiyu. When he heard her steady pace, he leapt onto one of the rocks, adopting his bipedal form once more as he propped an elbow up on a bent knee.

Coming into view of where he was sitting, Daiyu had to keep from laughing. “Waiting so long must have been a real trial.”

“I am familiar with keeping myself company,” Alucard responded flippantly. 

“That’s good,” she mirrored his tone, even though his words cut. “The only one that can keep up with your speed, is yourself.”

He raised an eyebrow, but decided to leave that. “As enjoyable as this view is, I actually had another destination in mind. Are you ready for that distance jumping?”

She blinked, tilting her head slightly to the side as she considered which view he was referring to. “I’m always ready for some distance jumping.”

He pointed to the top of the landslide, where the barest glimpse of golden leaves could be spotted. “Our destination is there. Shall I lead you again, or do you think you can find your own way?”

She crouched before launching herself onto a rock and continuing past him. “I’ll race you to that large boulder half way up, then you can lead the way.”

Alucard narrowed his eyes at the back of her head before his gaze dropped decidedly south. “I’m not certain why stopping halfway is necessary.”

“Because you’re dramatic and always want to introduce your surprises.”

Alucard frowned and decided, just for that comment, he would sacrifice his hard-earned view. He phased into existence on the boulder she had indicated, casting his frown down at her. “I am  _ not  _ dramatic.”

“Says the man that just  _ phased _ into existence,” she laughed out sarcastically as she made it to the rock.

“You said it was a race,” he defended himself. “Would you prefer I let you win? Grant you empty victories?”

“I think it would be fair to say, you’ve won twice and I’ve won once. I’m satisfied with the results.”

“You were a giant beast, I was understandably caught off guard.”

“I was referring to you proving my point of your dramatic tendencies,” she stated. “Yesterday’s ‘sparring match’ hardly counts. We were both unprepared for that.”

Alucard offered a hand to her for a particularly steep outcropping. “Are you proposing a rematch, then?” 

He was certain that she had the strength, training, and intelligence to be able to maneuver her own way over the jagged maw of boulders interrupting the path to the grove. Still, he would take any excuse for that extra bit of contact. 

She considered his hand for a moment, before taking it. While he was working to lighten the mood, she knew he was still hurting and she welcomed the physical closeness. “Perhaps. If you would like and once I figure out how to bring it out at will. I will need someone to train with.”

His heart leapt in shallow victory as she placed her hand in his and allowed him to pull her over the boulders and closer to him. He only nodded before gesturing onward to the drop on the other side. He admired the confidence and lithe grace with which Daiyu leapt for the ground, nothing more than a quiet exhale of exertion leaving her as she hit the ground in a crouch, muscles tensed for her next move. If he did nothing but watch her for the rest of his life, it would be a life well lived. 

He silently alighted next to her, watching the quiet awe grace her features as she took in the impossibility of the aspen trees in all their golden glory, reaching up from between outcroppings and boulders, the ground around them littered with startling blue wildflowers, bursting forth from the stone in equal impossibility. All the tension within him drained away at the gentle parting of her lips as she looked around her. 

Closing her eyes, Daiyu took a deep breath, using the opportunity to try tapping into her other senses to appreciate the grove.  _ This is a place full of beauty and life. I can feel it. _

“Do you like it?” Alucard murmured to her, stepping forward to stand at her side.

Daiyu opened her eyes to give him a soft smile, “It is beautiful, Adrian.” She turned back to once again enjoy the grove.

Each time she called to him,  _ Adrian, Adrian, Adrian,  _ the carefully constructed dam within him broke a little more. Like a siren’s call to remember who he once was. Who he could be again—for her, if she would let him. She had told him before that she wouldn’t explore such options with him, but clearly, things had changed in the three years she had been absent. He could still feel the phantom humid warmth of her breath over his collarbone, the brush of her face against his neck. Perhaps, he could allow himself to hope. 

Alucard stepped around to face her, the line of his mouth resolute despite the uncertainty in his eyes. She would move. He was certain she would move. Once Daiyu made up her mind, it was simpler to ask a mountain to pick up its skirts and move than to convince Daiyu to deviate from her decision. But something in the back of his mind and itching under his skin urged him on.

As he stepped in front of her, Daiyu considered the uncertainty in his eyes. He had been through so much since she had left. He’d had a life, family. . . dreams then. What did he have now? 

Her gaze lifted to his in that quiet way of hers, quiet and steady as a nightingale’s song in winter. Daiyu tilted her head to regard him. Alucard lifting his hands to cradle her cheeks felt as voluntary as inevitability.

Actually kissing her took more deliberate thought, with her gaze steady and almost daring. For a fraction of a moment he panicked. Teeth clicking together due to haste carried much more gravity when one sported fangs. When her eyes flicked to his lips, his mind went blank. He ducked his head to slot his lips over hers. 

When he’d stepped in front of her, his intent was clear and it didn’t surprise her. What surprised her was, where she had always been able to push out the beginnings of her possible feelings toward him in the past, she couldn’t now. Her body and mind collided in a conflict of desires, then betrayed her lifelong way of living as his lips met hers. The shock that he was kissing her and her reaction caused her to go completely motionless. It was as if his lips had ripped back a curtain that had hidden a part of herself she had never allowed herself to see. 

He wasn’t sure what surprised him more, the knowledge that he was kissing his best friend, or the quiet understanding that followed. She hadn’t moved. He smiled against her lips, giving her another chaste kiss to follow the last before he pulled away.

His chuckle ghosted over her cheeks as he leaned down to press his forehead against hers, eyes still closed tight to savor the warmth. “I have been wanting to do that for eleven years. Possibly longer.”

Then he finally opened his eyes, concern encroaching upon his euphoria as he searched her eyes for any sign of regret.

As his lips parted from hers and he spoke, she forced the cacophony in her mind to still. Until she could address it, she had no intention of letting Alucard know. She looked him squarely in the eye, not pulling away. Had he always been so handsome? “Adrian. . .”

Alucard knew that tone, but he refused to back down, brushing a thumb over the high arch of her cheek bone, “Daiyu—” 

_ Flat Tooth!  _ Diana’s growl of a voice screamed through the silence of his mind and Alucard flinched despite himself. 

“ _ Jesus! _ ” He spat out in a vehement curse, one eye closing as his palm flew to his temple. 

Daiyu raised a brow at his outburst, “Are you alright?”

_ Daiyu! Nelika is coming to greet Flat Tooth!  _ No more than a beat behind Alucard’s outburst, Diana exploded across Daiyu’s consciousness, causing her to flinch in turn.

“Flat Tooth? I’m guessing Diana reached out to you too,” Daiyu intoned. 

Alucard went silent as he focused on listening for Diana. She wasn’t close enough for him to hear her approaching, which meant she was likely outside of the limit for her hearing as well. He turned his gaze back to Daiyu. “We have time.”

Daiyu looked at him for a moment, considering all they had left to say and consider, before shaking her head once, “I’m afraid we don’t. Diana moves at incredible speeds when excited. She is bringing Nelika to greet you.” She took a breath. “Unless you are wanting to introduce the two of them to this place as well, we should make our way down to meet them part way.”

Alucard’s frame went rigid. He looked away, baring his fangs in an uneasy grimace. He was forced to agree with Daiyu, the soft pad of paws was beginning to edge into the outer limit of his hearing. He tightened the hand he’d left on her cheek in indecision, fingers curling around the curve of her jaw, before resolutely pulling away. “That is your decision to make. When can I next expect you?”

She furrowed her brows slightly as he pulled his hand away, “My choice? This is your place to share with others. Also why would you need to expect me? I’m not leaving. . . Adrian?”

He took another halting step away from her, fighting against the pull to stay and finish what they’d started. “I’ve only wanted to share this place with you. It is your decision now as to whether that will remain.”

Sensing what he was about to do, she followed his step back. “It will stay that way then, but you really should go with me and greet them.”

Alucard shook his head emphatically, but couldn’t quite bring himself to step away from her again when she had so willingly followed after him. “We have already greeted. You should remember, you were there, too.”

“It would do well to remind you, that was anything but a proper greeting,” Daiyu said gently, listening to Diana drawing closer. “We should at least start moving, don’t you think?”

“I think that entirely depends on what movement you are referring to,” Alucard responded, tone dropping as his gaze fell to her lips once more. 

Daiyu leveled him with an unamused expression. She  _ really  _ couldn’t do this now. “Let’s go.”

Alucard started to backpedal as he realized she was moving  _ toward  _ the rapidly approaching wolf. He could hear her happy pants from this distance, which meant she could likely hear them as well. He clamped his mouth shut, fixing Daiyu with a wide gaze to convey his refusal as he continued in the opposite direction. 

Watching him continue to move away from the approaching pair, Daiyu considered her next move. Stepping toward him quickly, she grabbed the front of his shirt with one hand, so he couldn’t evade her, then reached around with her other hand to grasp his collar. “You need to have an actual conversation with her, Adrian. Are you planning to run from her every time she gets close?”

As much as it thrilled him to have Daiyu’s hands fisted in his shirt, he could hear Diana clearly enough now that she would be upon them before he would be able to do anything even vaguely satisfying. Certainly not if the wolf was bringing the terror with her. In one smooth movement, Alucard lifted his arms and ducked out of his shirt. “I’m not running  _ from  _ anything, I’m running  _ to  _ safety. For both she and I.” And with that, his body flashed red, winking out of existence. 

As Alucard slipped out of his shirt, Daiyu didn’t make another move to stop him. If he was that determined not to face Nelika, she wasn’t going to force him further and have them arrive with the two of them fighting again. Also, dressed as he was now, she was inclined to agree with him _. _ She nimbly climbed to the top of the outcropping and made her way toward the direction Diana and Nelika were coming from.

Diana was standing at the foot of the landslide, turning in tight circles with her nose in the air. When she caught sight of Daiyu amongst the stones, she rose up to place her front paws on the nearest boulder, letting out a plaintive whine.  _ Where did Flat Tooth go? I don’t smell him here anymore and he won’t talk to me! _

Daiyu made her way lightly down to where the petulant wolf was searching in vain for Alucard’s scent, “He was here until a moment ago, when he decided to make a rapid exit.”

“Thank the gods.” The bundle of blankets atop Diana’s back rustled, an edge lifting to reveal one of Nelika’s deep brown eyes, wide in terror as she hissed out to Daiyu, “ _ I’m naked! _ ”

Daiyu pressed her lips together to keep from laughing at the idea of them meeting in such a way.  _ I stand corrected, Adrian. It was, in fact, better she not be aware of your presence.  _ Looking down, she lifted her hand with the shirt and glanced back at Nelika. “This might help.”

Nelika rose incrementally from where she was clutching tightly to Diana, her brow furrowed in disbelief. “How did you know I would need clothes?”

Diana’s muzzle shifted toward the shirt, nose twitching in rapid sniffs that quickly trailed from the procured shirt to Daiyu’s face.  _ That is Flat Tooth’s. And you smell like him, too. _

Daiyu addressed Nelika, “I didn’t know you would need clothes,” then looked down to Diana, “You are right, Diana. We were walking and clarifying some things.” 

Nelika’s brow further furrowed in confusion, “Do you normally just carry clothes with you?”

Diana gave Daiyu a cheeky grin, tail wagging lazily behind her,  _ Clarifying some things? _

“I usually do,” Daiyu responded, “but today’s extra clothes were a bit unexpected. Do you want it or not?” 

_ It’s Flat Tooth’s,  _ Diana crowed into Nelika’s mind happily.  _ They were discussing things that apparently needed less clothes and very close physical contact.  _

Nelika gasped, sitting ramrod straight on Diana’s back, hardly noticing when the blanket slipped to reveal a shoulder and a knee, “Did you and Alucard have sex?”

Alucard choked from where he had retreated to watch the exchange from the top of a nearby redwood. Diana’s ear twitched at the muted sound, her muzzle quickly following suit, nose twitching frantically. Alucard immediately stopped breathing.

Daiyu looked at Nelika with a mildly surprised expression as her mind jolted at the idea. “No.” Hearing Alucard, she almost hoped Diana found him _. _

“Thank you for your help Diana,” she shot at the wolf before looking back to her friend. “I ended up with his shirt, because I was trying to keep him from running from you. You seem to have struck some kind of deep fear in him.”

Alucard frowned at that, a part of him certain that she had said that for his detriment.

_ Well, I can be quite intimidating,  _ Diana preened. 

Reading Diana’s body language, Daiyu corrected her, “Not you,” pointedly looking at Nelika. 

Diana’s tail and ears drooped.

“I am quite happy with my blanket, thank you. I can’t imagine the owner would be so willing to offer it up,” Nelika responded, warily watching the shirt like it would attack, if given the chance. “Did you have a nice. . . walk?” 

Daiyu considered her for a moment. “I’m sure he wouldn’t be too bothered.” 

Lowering her hand with the shirt that seemed to have offended Nelika, she continued, “It was good, we were able to talk about some of what he’s been through while I’ve been gone.” She tilted her head. “How did you end up out here, in nothing but a blanket?”

Nelika’s mouth twisted into a self-deprecating grimace. “Well, it seems we’ve all caught up, then. Aside from me. But then, I do suppose I have done a wonderful job of intruding where I am not wanted.” 

As an afterthought that she airily waved away, neglecting to be mindful of the blanket, she responded, “I was taking a bath. Clothes were too much of a chore.”

“Too much of a chore before you decided to go galivanting through the woods to greet your host? I must say, even for Rome, that’s forward.” Daiyu’s voice barely contained the humor, before turning more serious, “You are not unwanted.” 

With the conflict raging through her, Daiyu was relieved her and Alucard had been interrupted. She didn’t care to think how  _ that _ conversation would have progressed, if they had continued long enough for her body to betray her.

“You think this was  _ my  _ idea?” Nelika spluttered. “I was just reconciling the dispute between Diana and I when she decided it was time to ‘greet the newest member of the pack’!”

Diana’s ears flattened to the side,  _ You suggested it first.  _

“I didn’t mean  _ right then!”  _ Nelika shot back. 

Daiyu watched their exchange. “Yet, here you are.” She lifted the shirt again, “Are you quite certain you don’t want this?”

Nelika gave her a mischievous glance, “Are you  _ quite certain _ you and Alucard weren’t doing more than just  _ talking?”  _

“There was more than just talking, but nothing like what Diana is probably thinking.”

Nelika leaned over, planting her elbows on Diana’s shoulders to prop up her chin as she gave Daiyu a suggestive grin, “ _ Oh, really.  _ And did you enjoy whatever happened that was more than talking but less than what Diana is probably thinking?”

_ Yes _ , a part of Daiyu’s mind readily supplied.  _ No, _ answered a smaller part.  _ It was a shock, _ another part clamored. 

Shoving them all aside, Daiyu schooled her voice into a calm tone, “I have known Adrian the better part of my life. I enjoy most of the time I spend with him.”

Nelika gave her a strange look before casting about, tightening her blanket around herself, “Why are you being even more cryptic than usual?”

“Because the forest has ears,” she said lightly.

Nelika slowly curled around Diana once more, pulling the blanket over her head. “Diana, it’s time we return to the castle.”

Daiyu watched her friend retreat under the blanket. It was a coward's move, but she wasn’t ready to address what she knew Alucard would want to discuss. “May I accompany you?”

Nelika peeked out an eye, “I thought you didn’t want to go to the castle?”

“I won’t enter the castle, but I would enjoy walking back with you both.”

Diana went rigid as a breeze washed over them, nose shooting into the air.  _ Flat Tooth!  _

_ Ah, accept your fate, Adrian, _ Daiyu thought with an amused kind of victory singing through her.

Nelika dug her heels into Diana’s flank, adamantly pulling her head back toward the castle. She scooted forward, hissing into her ear with as much threat as she could muster, “ _ I don’t care what you have just found. We are leaving. Right. Now.” _

Diana’s ears went flat over her head in submission, obediently trudging toward the castle. 

Falling into step beside Diana, Daiyu reached out to stroke her fur, “Don’t take it personally, dear one. He’ll come around in time.”

Diana let out a discouraged huff.

Nelika waited a few paces before peeking out at Daiyu once more. “Are we far enough?”

Daiyu turned to consider her friend. “Far enough for what?”

Nelika chewed on her lip in thought before letting out a reluctant, “My back hurts.”

Daiyu let out a burst of laughter. “Then sit up. He’s not close enough to see us.”

“Oh, thank the gods!” Nelika breathed as she sat up, stretching until her spine gave a few satisfied pops. She turned her gaze down to Daiyu, the blanket draping down her back to expose the sharp planes of her shoulder blades. “You did truly have a good talk though, yes? It looked like you had much history between you. And quite a future, if Diana’s nose is to be trusted.”

“You and I both know better than to argue about her nose, in front of her,” Daiyu exhaled. “It was a start. There’s still much more that hasn’t been touched, but it was something.”

Nelika waggled her eyebrows, “And how much more are you wanting to  _ touch _ , Daiyu?”

Daiyu raised a brow at her. Until ten minutes ago, she had been certain ‘not much’ would have been the answer. Now, she really needed to get herself under control.

“I didn’t come back with that kind of intent.”

Her word choice was not lost on her. Nelika leaned back to watch the spots of evening sun filter through the leaves. “Intent rarely has an effect on matters of the heart.”

Daiyu looked into the distance without focusing. Her heart was proving to be a loud and confusing thing. Thinking of what she had left, the clamor to continue what she and Alucard had started went quiet. “My heart isn’t in a place where it can be much concerned with such things.”

Nelika’s head rolled to her shoulder for her to give Daiyu a lazy smile. “It is my experience that an assembly consisting of the heart, body, and mind rarely is able to do more than snarl at each other’s throats like bitches in heat.”

“Then you’ll be happy to know, the part of my heart that deals with such things has retired, indefinitely, from the assembly.” Though it was said in a light tone, Daiyu couldn’t help the undertones from creeping through. 

Nelika straightened to settle Daiyu with a somber gaze. “What happened to you, these past three years?”

Refocusing her gaze on Nelika, Daiyu’s eyes were filled with sorrow and self loathing. “No more than I deserved and brought upon myself.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Is it not?”

“Not one that I am willing to accept. But, if you are not willing to offer an answer at this time that I would be willing to accept, that I suppose I will have to wait. Despite how much I loathe it.”

Daiyu gave her friend a smile that held no joy. “I’ll say this much. I started out on a path I was sure of. Only to find it was not the path for me. I changed paths, and just as I was feeling sure it was the right one, it was torn out from under my feet, because of a choice I made.”

Nelika watched her carefully. Her words were picked meticulously enough to give her a vague picture that was becoming more clear by the day, but Nelika would allow her the time to provide her with her own story instead of drawing conclusions. “I eagerly await the rest of your tale.”  
Nelika was always the kind of friend to push Daiyu to not keep more than she should to herself. “Thank you for that—this much I’m sure you’ve surmised, but I am no longer affiliated with the monks, as actively practicing.”

Nelika inclined her head. “I had thought that may be the case. But, Alucard was not the one to pull you from such practices, I don’t believe.”

“No, he wasn’t,” Daiyu agreed. “I came to that decision on my own.”

A raised brow. “Well that’s a new feat even Rome wasn’t able to find.”

Daiyu looked at her friend from the corner of her eye. “It had nothing to do with what you are referring to. I came to realize, no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t believe and be the way my father had hoped.”

Nelika gave her a look weeping with empathy. “I would give you a hug, but I believe that would make you uncomfortable given my current state.”

Daiyu stepped closer and threw an arm around Nelika’s waist. “I lived among pirates for the better part of two years. You’re going to have to work hard to make me uncomfortable.”

“Pirates,” Nelika repeated with interest. “I do believe I may be jealous of your three year liaison.”

Daiyu inclined her head toward Nelika. “Parts of it, perhaps. But I would warn you against creating an idea of envy. Pirates are outlaws for a reason. I was sent to infiltrate their ranks to sabotage the chaos they were wrecking.”

“I was wrong. I am  _ entirely  _ jealous of your three year liaison. I’ve always wanted to be an outlaw.”

With a smile, Daiyu decided it was time for a change of topic. “Have you eaten yet? Your gut is creating a conversation of its own.” 

Diana’s ears pricked.  _ Yes! Food!  _ Before immediately dropping into a sheepish slant.  _ We didn’t eat the breakfast Flat Tooth left for us.  _

Nelika’s jaw dropped, “Alucard left us food and you didn’t  _ tell me?” _

_ We were resolving things!  _

Daiyu’s lips split in a teaching smile. “You should really rectify that. Food would do you both some good.”

Nelika self-consciously rubbed a thumb over the knob of her wrist, hiding her hands beneath her blanket. “Ah, yes. I really have let myself go, haven’t I?”

Daiyu considered her friend's malnourished state. “That’s not what I said. I was commenting on the fact that your stomach is going to start talking over you any moment.”

Nelika smiled back at her hollowly. “Mmm.” She pushed out a breath with forced lightness. “We aren’t the only hungry ones here. When have you last eaten, Daiyu? Shall we bring the food out to eat with you?” 

Daiyu straightened. “I would enjoy sharing a meal with you. It hasn’t been that long since I ate.” 

Nelika’s eyes narrowed as she considered. “Truly? And what did you eat?”

Daiyu returned Nelika’s look. “I had a bean congee with some assorted nuts, seeds, and dried fruits. Full of nutrients, I assure you.” 

Nelika straightened to stare measuredly at the castle as she slyly jested, “Good. Then I won’t feel poorly for eating your share as well.”

Daiyu looked at Nelika seriously with a slight sparkle in her eye. “Please feel free to do so. As I am unwilling to enter the castle, I don’t expect to be welcome to its stores.”

“I am fairly certain Diana had every intention of eating with you beneath the stars.”

Daiyu looked down to Diana. “Is that so?”

Diana bobbed her head in her rendition of a shrug.  _ I wouldn’t be opposed.  _

“In other words, Nelika is using you as an excuse,” Daiyu intoned with humor. “I would always welcome both of your company.”

“It’s settled, then,” Nelika declared. “Lead on to the food, Diana!”

Diana bounded up the castle steps with gusto, making her way for the platters of food Alucard had fretted over that morning. 

“You tried to give away my shirt,” Alucard intoned from behind Daiyu, looking more than slightly perturbed by the idea.

Before he said anything, Daiyu felt his presence behind her. She turned to face him with a raised brow, careful not to let her eyes wonder away from his face. With him currently not wearing a shirt, she didn’t trust herself to not betray what had started to roil under the surface. “You seemed more than willing to part with it. Why shouldn’t I offer it to someone in need?”

“And I would happily do so again,” Alucard responded evenly, “if it wasn’t going to turn into charity in the next moment.”  
“Do you have something against charity?”

“When it is not willingly offered, yes.”

“True. . . that is a generous term for what you did. You  _ abandoned  _ it,” she teased.

Alucard raised an offended brow at her. “I remember it being taken from me, actually.”

“Now you’re changing your story?” she asked, mirth thick on her voice. “Really?” 

“I do believe the question remains, will you return it, or is it going to become part of your nest?”

Daiyu let out a soft snort at his choice of words. “I don’t have a nest.” The idea of keeping it flashed across her mind, and jolted her. She held it out to him. 

Alucard quietly took the garment back from her, staring down at the fabric in his hand as he thought over the conversation he had been privy to. Though there were many things he considered asking her, apologizing for, he settled on a quiet, “Pirates?”

She looked up at him, with a neutral expression. “Yes, pirates.”

After a beat, Alucard gave a nod, a muscle feathering along his jaw. 

Watching him mull over all the information he had overheard, Daiyu noted the change in movement from the pair upstairs. “Unless you want to join us for food, which you are welcome to do, you might want to perform another disappearing act. They’re on their way back down.”

Despite her words, he lingered. “Are we going to discuss what happened this afternoon?”

“I would certainly hope so,” she said with a deep breath.

Alucard perked a bit at that, nodding in thanks for his returned shirt before he disappeared into the castle. 


	6. Daiyu and Nelika's Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nelika and Daiyu catch up on what's happened while Daiyu has been away. Get ready for some serious girl talk.

And not a moment too soon. Diana skidded around the corner with Nelika wobbling atop her, clothed in a loose nightgown, platter in each hand, and a wild grin on her face. “I come bearing food!”

“You expect me to believe for a moment that you’re only human? Performing such a feat?” Daiyu let out with a laugh. 

Nelika gave her a sly look of conceit. “Obviously, I have a bit of wolf in me, somewhere.”

Daiyu nodded. “And wolves help you balance platters of food.”

_ The pack moves as one,  _ Diana spoke into Daiyu’s mind, tail raised in an echo of Nelika’s pride.

“You’ve both done admirably,” Daiyu stated warmly. “Do you have a preference for where we eat?” 

“Shall we eat by the river and then retire to your nest?” Nelika asked, balancing one of the platters on the top of her thighs long enough to pop a dried apple slice into her mouth.

_ Of all the things, you just had to call it a nest,  _ Daiyu thought despairingly, “It’s not a nest. Dinner by the river sounds perfect.”

Nelika gave her a blank look, “It’s your home. It’s in a tree. It’s a nest.”

Daiyu let out a resigned laugh, knowing full well that Alucard could still hear them. “If that is the only name you can comprehend for it, I guess it is now a nest.”

Nelika raised an eyebrow as she gauged her reaction. Daiyu was being oddly sensitive about her chosen terminology. “Very well, how would you prefer it to be referred to as, if not a nest?”

Diayu shook her head, “Nest is fine. Everyone seems attached to calling it as such.”

Nelika’s brow furrowed, picking the plate up once more as Diana began to trot forward for the river. “We could call it a. . . leaf house? Vine domain? Your nature dwelling?”

Smiling at her friend’s consideration, Daiyu couldn’t help but admire her. “All good names, but nest seems to be the commonly accepted term. Let’s not complicate it.”  _ I’m just going to have to deal with a pouty man-child later. _

“Oh, thank the gods. Nest is much more practical.”

“Do you want to race to the river?” Daiyu directed toward Diana.

“Hey!” Nelika barked to them both, already feeling Diana’s muscles bunch in anticipation. “Incorrigible,” she ground out, placing one plate on her lap and carefully upending the contents of the other into the middle of it. “Won’t have any food to  _ eat  _ by the river,” she continued grumbling as she covered the jumble of foods with the other platter. Finally, she leaned over the clamshell dinner, the rib of the upended plate digging into her stomach. Satisfied that she wouldn’t lose the contents, Nelika finally conceded. “Oh, alright.”

Daiyu sprang forward. Deciding to see just how much faster she could move in her bipedal form.

Diana’s ears pricked as she shot into the forest alongside Daiyu, silver eyes shining in her excitement. It wasn’t quite high enough in the sky for her to fully feel its effects, but the moon’s song was beginning to unwind through her and Diana relished the chance to release it. 

Seeing a fallen log in their path, Daiyu bunched her muscles, and easily vaulted over it, propelling herself forward at a faster pace. She felt the forest around her, coursing with energy and life.

“The food!” Nelika sharply reminded Diana, feeling the impatient whine that Diana let out unfurl as her own restless ambition. Nelika chewed on her lip in thought before leaning down and whispering, “Find the bank, follow it to the rapids.” 

Diana immediately tore away from the path Daiyu had started them on through the forest, nose twitching as she searched for the moss and cypress scent of the river. 

Sensing Diana’s course veer away, Daiyu slowed her pace marginally, and continued to their destination.  _ They’ll find their way. _

Nelika sat up, exhilaration flushing her cheeks as Diana paused by the rapids, sides heaving with panting breaths. Nelika looked up and down the banks, the shadows beginning to blend and merge under the pull of twilight. 

“Ah!” Nelika brought a hand up to muffle a snort of laughter, “Diana, how many tributaries are in the vicinity?”

Diana raised her nose, moving her head from side to side in quick sweeps before she responded,  _ Lots.  _

Nelika let out another chortle. “I have steered you wrong. Oh, I am sorry, Diana. Well, I suppose we shall never know who won that race. Can you find Daiyu?”

Diana silently turned, loping through the woods, following along the warm connection of Daiyu’s pack line. 

Arriving at her camp, Daiyu decided to pass the time by feeding Chairo and brushing him out a bit. “It seems you’ve become part of a strange bunch, my friend,” she murmured as she groomed the horse's deep brown coat. The horse did nothing but flick an ear in her direction as she spoke before returning to eating. She allowed her mind to wander as she continued caring for him. He was the last from a line of horses that had aided in her rapid journey across the continent. 

When whispers reached her of the treacherous campaign Dracula had launched against humanity, she had wasted no time leaving the seas west of Nippon to travel across the continent to Wallachia. As she drew closer, the rumors she heard in the taverns she passed through did nothing to quell her fears. It had been nineteen days since she had started riding. Twenty-one days since Kinari had embraced a new kind of freedom. 

As she had made her way across the continent, alone, it had been a constant reminder of what she had lost. On some nights, she had played his shakuhachi. It was in those moments where she had faced what the loss meant for her and how she could best honor his memory. She’d worked to come to terms with it all, so she would be in a place to be able to help when she arrived. Reminiscing, it had been a good thing she’d been travelling alone. She wouldn’t have been good company.

She’d named every horse she rode. It had helped distract her. As she got to know them and then think of names that suited each one, it had kept a part of her from dwelling too long on what she was leaving and what she had chosen. She moved to brush out her latest charge’s tail. 

She pulled herself from her thoughts as she heard the gentle padding of Diana drawing near. Right now, there were others that needed her. . .  _ Adrian. _

She thought of all he had shared with her. His pain and self loathing. What he had been forced to do. Even so, he still held light and hope within him. What happened in the grove came back, like a slap across her cheek.

“Shit.” 

_ Why couldn’t I think of a better response? Forget better response. Any response would have been good. _

Pausing midway through pulling out a tangle from Chairo’s tail, Daiyu tilted her head in contemplation. She hadn’t pulled away. If she had not wanted it, she knew she could have stopped him. In that moment, it was like he had picked up all her defenses and refusals through the years and easily pushed them aside, like the rains pushing a mudslide down the face of a mountain.

She thought back on when they had been growing up. Adrian had always been transparent with his hopes for how their relationship would progress, once he was mature enough to entertain such thoughts. She had never allowed herself to act on any of her possible feelings towards him. Denying them as temptations, to uphold the promise she had made to her father to follow the monastic path. Another part of her had also been afraid of what might happen to their relationship, if it had become more than that of childhood friends. Now though, something was there and she hadn’t been able to brush it off. A warm voice echoed across her mind.

_ You know, no matter how good you are, you can’t take credit for everything. Not even Nyan can carry the weight of the world. Stop worrying so much and live a little. _

“Yes, and see where that got us,” Daiyu said under her breath as Kinari’s words range though her mind.

Diana’s voice in Daiyu’s mind announced their arrival well before her bounding form could be spotted amongst the trees,  _ I won.  _

“You got lost.”

_I got to the river first. I won._ _  
_ Daiyu considered the excited wolf with mischief in her eyes. “Which river, exactly, did you find? Finding any river wasn’t the goal.”

_ I don’t recall that ever having been specified,  _ Diana sniffed reproachfully. 

“I suppose that’s fair,” Daiyu allowed. “We might have to race another time.”

_ Flat Tooth will have to be included as well,  _ Diana’s voice immediately brightened at the prospect of another competition. 

Daiyu let out a laugh. “If he would join us, I would enjoy that.”

_ A pack that plays together, stays together,  _ Diana said solemnly as she stepped into the small clearing Daiyu had been using to house Chairo. She tilted her head at the horse curiously, but made no move to intimidate the creature. 

The horse turned to sniff at Diana for a moment before letting out snort and returning to the remnants of feed.

Nelika’s curls were a gloriously wind-tousled halo of black around her face. She gave Daiyu a sheepish grin before lifting the stacked plates for inspection. “We may have gone to the wrong river, but we didn’t lose any of the food. Shall we dine?”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea.”

Nelika offered up the platters to Daiyu so that she could slide from Diana’s back without fear of losing their dinner. 

Taking the platters, Daiyu waited as Nelika slid off Diana. “Would you set this up? I’m going to grab a few things to add.”

Nelika nodded, waving her away as she turned to set the platters up on some high-standing rocks by the river. She tsk-ed at Diana’s nose, shoving her away from the uncovered food. She watched Daiyu walk away, her hands slowing in their task to evenly distribute the piled food across the two plates. There was something bothering her. It had taken years, and had been one of her proudest accomplishments as a child, but she had learned how to read even Daiyu’s non-expressions. And there was no mistaking it, something had burrowed deep enough to leave a red, throbbing infection. The only question was, how long had it been left just under the skin?

Daiyu vaulted into the tree Chairo was under, disappearing into the foliage. She knew Nelika could tell when something was going on with her. For all her abilities at camouflaging and schooling her emotions, Nelika was a natural—who had trained extensively—at reading people. 

_ We’ll just take this one step at a time, _ she thought to herself as she dug the two parcels from her sack and turned, nimbly stepping between branches on her way down.

Nelika raised a brow as the bundles in Daiyu’s grasp as she made to join them by the river. “Don’t tell me, more mysteriously procured clothing?”

Daiyu took a moment to feign offence, “Why would I procure extra clothes, when there is  _ tea?” _

Nelika shook her head, “Of all things to do with plants, it is beyond me why you insist on having hot leaf water. Nonetheless, I will join you in the partaking of your hot leaf water.” She paused as a thought occurred to her. “How are you planning to make it ‘hot’ leaf water?”

Letting Nelika’s slight toward the tea pass, Daiyu’s mouth pulled into a mischievous smirk. “Like this.” She held out a hand and blue flames sprang to life in her palm.

Nelika gave her hand a flat look, “I think I have hit my threshold for shock. If anything, this seems appropriate.”

Daiyu hummed in response. “That’s fair. After all you’ve seen in the past day, this is a mere parlour trick.” She bent over, transferring the flame to the wood pile she’d prepared that morning. “Shall we eat?”

Nelika handed over a plate, offering Diana a piece from her own array of food as she steadily gnawed on a piece of jerky. She considered where to start the conversation. Despite the push to ask about the paths she’d referred to earlier in the day, Nelika veered from that topic of conversation, resolving to allow Daiyu to approach that when she had prepared. She decided to instead go for some lighter conversation. “So, why pray tell, did you have Alucard’s shirt?”

Daiyu chewed slowly on her mouthful of bread, grateful that him losing his shirt had nothing to do with what had happened earlier. She looked up at Nelika, then tossed a piece of meat for Diana to catch. “I tried to stop him from running from you. He decided that he would rather lose his shirt than face you.” A corner of her mouth pulled up. “Given how you arrived, it might be better he decided to do so.”

Nelika watched her carefully. After determining that she wasn’t overly concerned or disturbed with the topic, Nelika continued with a nonchalant shrug. “It is still beyond me that he would be running from me. Diana refuses to tell me about our new dark and brooding proprietor. Would you care to enlighten me on why we share statuses in your circle?”

Daiyu supposed this was as good a time as any to reflect on why Adrain meant so much to her. “Is there anything in particular you want to know about him?”

Nelika’s nose wrinkled. “What is he like when he isn’t being an ass?”

Daiyu’s lips curved in a soft smile. “There’s not one way for him. Sometimes he’s a sarcastic ass, another he’s full of compassion, willing to go to the ends of the earth to bring happiness to the ones he considers friends or family.” Daiyu’s gaze drifted to the fire. “Multi-faceted, with an overarching need to love and be loved, would be a decent place to start.”

Nelika turned her gaze to her silver-eyed wolf companion. “Diana said something similar when I asked her what Alucard wants from us.”

“You should know, better than I, Diana is rarely wrong.”

Nelika pouted. “Don’t encourage her.”

Daiyu arched a brow. “It’s not encouragement. It’s a fact.”

Diana was too enthralled with the promise of another morsel of dried meat to preen, something Nelika was infinitely grateful for. Nelika glanced at Daiyu sidelong, deciding to push just a bit further. “I assume you returned due to the word of Dracula’s genocidal pursuit. And just happened to find Diana and I along the way. Which is to say, you returned for  _ Adrian.  _ You didn’t dispute my claim that we share the same status in your mind, but I don’t believe that to be entirely true. Who is Alucard to  _ you _ , Diayu?”

_ Now you decide to be direct, _ Daiyu thought exasperatedly.

“News of Dracula is what prompted my return. That much is true. Ensuring your’s and Diana’s safety was a priority for me, not just a happenstance. I went to Arges before coming here. After finding your note, I’ve never moved faster.” 

After Nelika held her silence, Daiyu continued, “Adrian is part of why I returned as well. Do you remember the family I would tell you about when we were young, but never divulged details about?”

Nelika frowned as she recalled snippets of long-forgotten conversations, often dismissed as childhood fantasy, “As much as one remembers the words spoken in a dream.”

“That family was Adrian’s family. I grew up with him. We got into all kinds of trouble together.” A ghost of a smile crossed Daiyu’s features. “Back then, I only allowed us to be friends. Now, I’m not sure what we are. He seems to want to pursue what he always has, but I’m conflicted. . .”

Nelika tilted her head at Daiyu.  _ Well, it seems Diana wasn’t entirely mistaken about some things, at least.  _ “He would like a more intimate relationship, then. You are conflicted? I can understand that he isn’t traditionally masculine, but he has his. . . charms. Surely. Somewhere.” She refocused, “Do you not see him in such a light?”

Daiyu’s lips pressed together.  _ I wish I knew. _ “I don’t blame you for thinking in such a way. The two of you couldn’t have had a much worse beginning.” She took a calming breath. “Conflicted, because I don’t know exactly what my feelings for him are anymore. I’m also afraid I might just want someone to fill a void that was recently torn into my existence.” 

Nelika blinked at that bit of insight, taking a moment to consider her words. “You cannot use a sword to fill a dagger’s scabbard.”

“Perhaps.”

Nelika scooted forward to place a hand on Daiyu’s knee, speaking very gently, “There is no recovering what we have lost. The voids that have been torn in us cannot be mended or filled. However, we can take what we have left and build something new and beautiful.”

Daiyu gave her a sad smile. “Yes, unless you build in haste to cover the hole, only to tear it open again and make it larger when the hurriedly built structure fails.”

Nelika shook her head, reverting to her previous analogy, “Just as the sword will not fill a dagger’s scabbard, you cannot fill the void with something aside from what was used to carve the hole. I may not know who you lost, Daiyu, but I am almost certain that he and Alucard are not one and the same.” She frowned, seeing that Daiyu still wasn’t convinced. Before Daiyu could pose another counterargument, Nelika forged ahead, “When you are with Alucard, are you thinking of the one you lost?”

The thought of comparing the two in Daiyu’s mind was incongruous. She furrowed her brow in contemplation for a moment, before giving up on the endeavor with a sigh and a laugh. “They most certainly are not one and the same.” Tilting her head slightly, she thought back on the time she had been with Alucard since the night before. “Only when the conversation is such to remind me.” 

“Then why do you think it would be any different when you are with him romantically?” 

Daiyu’s face went blank. Be with Adrian romantically? After what had happened earlier with him, she didn’t have an answer. She’d used to have one. Them being anything more than childhood friends had never been an option, at least not in her mind. Not until today. Now, she just didn’t know.

She turned to look at Nelika with the same blank expression, “Be with him, romantically?”

Nelika slowly drew back, gazing at Daiyu in disappointed bewilderment. “Well, yes. Is that not what we were talking about? Why are you looking at me as though  _ I’m  _ the one who has grossly misunderstood something? You—you had his  _ shirt!”  _

Daiyu blinked and looked down to select a piece of meat to toss to Diana. She looked back up at Nelika with an owlish expression. “. . . No. I already told you how I ended up with his shirt.”

Nelika’s expression turned to one of horror, “Oh, Cupid help him. You haven’t the faintest inkling how you feel.”

Daiyu’s expression morphed to one of annoyance. “Of all the things for you to say, why that?”

With an air of great longsuffering, Nelika asked, “How do you feel when you are around Alucard?”

Taking a breath to respond, Daiyu paused before answering in a mutter, “Before this afternoon, I thought I knew.”

Nelika’s eyebrow rose as she slowly raised a piece of dried fruit to her lips. “And  _ what,  _ pray tell, happened this afternoon? Aside from him apparently leaving you with his shirt to hide in the trees and eavesdrop.”

Daiyu opened her mouth to respond, before closing it again for a moment. “He did something he’d apparently been wanting to do for eleven years.”

Nelika released a sigh of exasperation, “Oh, for gods’ sake, Daiyu,  _ what happened?” _

“He kissed me.”

Nelika waved an impatient hand. “Alright, and what  _ important  _ happened?” 

She stilled, recognizing the stunned look in Daiyu’s eyes. Nelika let out a soft exhale.  _ That  _ was important. From a culture such as Rome, kisses were commonplace and expected as much as you expected to wake and have the sun greet you. But to Daiyu, a kiss from Alucard had been cathartic. Nelika tilted her head at her friend in consideration. “What did he tell you with that kiss?”

Daiyu looked at her with a disbelieving expression. “That he had wanted to do so for eleven years, possibly longer.”

Nelika patiently shook her head. “No, you know as well as I the range of emotion that can be conveyed through a kiss. What did  _ his kiss _ tell you?”

Daiyu tilted her head in contemplation. “Gentleness, hope, desire. . . respect—I don’t know. . .”

Her brow rose. “And what did  _ you  _ convey to  _ him?”  _

Daiyu closed her eyes. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

“Are you shitting me?”

“Wouldn’t that be nice,” Daiyu stated flatly. “Diana let us know you were coming before I could organize my thoughts enough to respond.”

“But you’d wanted to?” 

“Wanted to what?”

“To respond!” Nelika was beginning to pity the poor man. He’d poured his heart out to Daiyu and she was still as clueless as a newborn at an assembly. 

An expression of sadness crossed Daiyu’s features. “Yes, I want to respond, but I don’t know what it will be. Until twenty-one days ago, I was very happily with someone else. Coming back and having this happen, I don’t know how to respond.”

_ Yes, happy enough to leave them. Even if her mind is confused, her heart knows what it desires.  _ Despite her thoughts, Nelika was familiar with the human capacity for love, for various kinds of loves toward a plethora of people and things. Very carefully, she hazarded a gentle inquiry, “And why is that someone not here with you now?”

Pain seared through Daiyu’s chest and wrapped around her like an embrace. “Because he gave his life so I could do what I deemed to be  _ necessary,” _ she spoke in a quiet even tone, but her voice was full of pain and anguish.

“Oh. Oh, oh, oh,” Nelika tutted softly, standing and placing her food on a stone so that she could go to sit beside Daiyu. Their hips pressed together uncomfortably in the small space afforded to them on the stone offered up by the river, but Nelika ignored it. She wrapped her arms around Daiyu’s waist, placing a soothing kiss on her cheek before laying her head against Daiyu’s shoulder. She noticed with an abstract prick of recognition how much more defined Daiyu’s frame was now, lean muscles sturdy beneath her hands and cheek. After a long moment of thought, Nelika finally asked, “Would you tell me how he laughed?”

Daiyu closed her eyes and leaned her head against Nelika’s. She steadied herself for a few breaths. This was something she’d known they would talk about eventually, and she had tried to prepare for it. But how did one prepare to talk about how your heart was ripped out? She took a long slow breath. “It depended on the situation. More than anything, he laughed whenever he felt like it, but never when it would have felt forced.” Her voice was hardly more than a whisper.

Nelika nodded encouragingly. She pinned Diana with a look, smiling as the wolf obediently walked away from the food, plodding over to curl around them, a wall of warm fur supporting their backs. Diana shifted her muzzle across the ground in cursory sniffs before settling atop one of Daiyu’s feet, gazing up at her with enough love to cause oceans to overflow. 

“Easy laughs that make you want to join in, or quiet chuckles that make you feel as though you are the odd one out in a joke? When he would laugh, was it a small thing, or did it fill his whole being and take control of his body and shake it like a rattle?” Nelika shook her arms around Daiyu for emphasis. 

Reaching a hand down, Daiyu started stroking the top of Daina’s head. Her throat was tight and she was finding it hard to speak. She swallowed to help relax. “Infectious. Even if you didn’t know why you were laughing, his pure enthusiasm had a way of pulling you in.”

Nelika hummed knowingly. “And what were his hands like?”

“Warm. Callused. Steady. Sure.”

“Were they stained? Did he keep his hands clean, or would he perpetually have dirt under his nails, no matter how often he cleaned them? What did he use them for?”

Daiyu released a soft snort, “As clean as you can keep them on a ship. He used them for whatever he saw fit.”

A smile lifted the corner of her lips. “And what was his favorite thing to do with his hands? On days that the winds slept and the waters lingered, how would he occupy his hands?”

Daiyu bit her lip, “Before or after he met me?”

“Both.”

“Hmm—he had a love for art and music. When he wasn’t training or making love, you could find him coming up with a new piece to work on.” 

Nelika’s heart clenched in empathy for the man Daiyu had lost. She gave her a light squeeze, voice moments from a whisper as she murmured, “One of the first things my mother taught me was that you could know all there was to know about a man from his hands and his laugh. The man you are describing was a man who’s lifelong lover would have been freedom. Freedom to love, to live, and to express with everything he possessed. And he gave you those things, he gave you his love and freedom without you even having to ask. I’m certain I tell you what you already know, but a man like that. . . what would he have you do?” 

Daiyu allowed a single tear to escape. It was the question she had asked herself most. The answer had remained the same since she had started asking it. It was the answer he had given her, but that didn’t make the execution any easier. “He always yearned for an unattainable freedom.” Her voice dropped to a bare whisper, “I hope he has found it now, wherever he may be—He already asked me not to mourn, but instead celebrate that he lived.”

Nelika gave her another kiss on the cheek. “And how would you like to celebrate, love?”

Daiyu let out a deep sigh, “I don’t know. Since then, I have been running without stopping, trying to make it in time, so as not to lose anyone else. Only to arrive well after the damage had been done.” 

“Well that hardly sounds like celebrating,” Nelika said, putting on a pout. “I may not know how you would like to celebrate, but I do have an idea that may be. . . exhilarating.”

“Hmm?”

“ _ Swimming,”  _ Nelika hissed out in warning before pushing them both off the rock and tumbling into the creek. Diana scrambled to avoid a wayward heel to the muzzle. 

Reacting on instinct, Daiyu grabbed Nelika and maneuvered both of them so they didn’t hit a rather large rock. Coming up she let out an incredulous laugh. The water was  _ frigid _ . “Good to know you’re as crazy as ever.” She splashed water in Nelika’s face for good measure.

Nelika jumped on her back, bearing down on her shoulders in an attempt to push her under the water. “ _ When  _ were you planning to tell me you’d lost your  _ virginity? _ A Vestal should be notified when one of her sisters  _ abandons  _ her!  _ You deserve suitable punishment!”  _

Daiyu let out a laugh at Nelika’s attempts. Grabbing one of her wrists, she ducked under so she was behind Nelika, and pushed her gently so she stumbled forward. “I apologize, it was a long distance to send a notification—Also, I didn’t  _ lose  _ it, I gave it freely.” Her voice was full of mischief. 

Nelika gasped in a farce, “You  _ willingly  _ committed treason against the great protector Vesta? Come, you must be buried alive!” With that, she leapt forward once more, hands full of river silt and mud.

Before Nelika was able to find her target, Daiyu leapt aside, eyes sparkling. “Not my gods, dear one. I refuse to accept this punishment.” 

The bite of the water began to pull some of the vibrancy from her limbs and Nelika shivered. “I suppose a death by drowning with suffice.” She splashed a few handfuls of water towards Daiyu for good measure. 

Noticing the change, Daiyu was reminded that Nelika couldn’t regulate her body heat the same way she could. “How about a truce? We can decide my punishment once you’re not at risk of freezing to death.”

Nelika wrapped her arms around her middle, fighting against the chatter in her teeth as she made for the riverbank. “So as the fires of Vesta burn in me, I shall not be for want of warmth and security.”

Following Nelika, Daiyu waited until they had made it out of the water, “Rarely will a prayer be answered as quickly as yours now.” With that, she stepped up behind Nelika, catching her in a hug as gentle blue flames sprang up around them.

Nelika gazed about the flames in astonishment, reaching out a hand to let the flames curl around her fingers like teasing foxtails amongst brambles. She peeked over her shoulder at Daiyu with a sly smile. “Vesta is merciful indeed to still favor you despite your broken celibacy.” 

Daiyu let out a snort. “I’ve never had the pleasure of entering into any agreement with her. I would hope she wouldn’t be too harsh.”

“Perish the thought,” Nelika responded easily. She grew quiet, a thought that had been growing with a burning insistence finally bubbling to the surface, “Daiyu, I can’t help but notice, you aren’t with child.”

Daiyu tilted her head in agreement. “That is not something I need to be concerned about.”

Nelika arched a brow, “I have bathed with you, Daiyu. I know you have the necessary parts.”

“I used to. One of the first things I did upon entering the monastery was sterilize my womb.”

Nelika looked on her with horror. 

Taking in Nelika’s expression, Daiyu couldn’t help a chuckle breaking through. “Why do you look at me in such a way?”  _ You’d think I’d robbed her of her first child _ .

Nelika turned in Daiyu’s embrace so that she could return the warmth offered by two enveloping arms. She had lost so much. To not only lose the man who had shown her the intimacy that can only be found lying beside another, but to have been left with nothing, no one to remember him by—Nelika could hardly fathom the pain Daiyu was carrying with her. “You left the monastic lifestyle, but it has left its mark on you and taken far more than should have been permitted. I am truly sorry, my friend.”

Daiyu rested her head on top of Nelika’s. She could smell the distress rolling off her. “It has left its mark, but it is something I don’t regret. There were many good things I gained from my training—this fire for example.”

Nelika’s brow furrowed in confusion. She let out a sigh. “The way you choose to live your life has always been a source of bafflement for me. If it was something you willingly gave without regret, then I suppose it is not a choice I should be offering to mourn with you.” 

“Your willingness to mourn my loss is more than I deserve. . . I do seem to walk an unorthodox life, regardless of the religious lens you see it through.” 

“We all must forge our own paths to follow through this life and into the next. Some paths are certainly more eccentric than others.” She paused to give Daiyu a dry look. “Others seem more inclined to fly and forgo paths altogether.”

Feeling that Nelika was now dry, and no longer shaking, Daiyu allowed the flames to drop away, moving back toward Diana and the fire, “There are paths in the sky and on the earth, only the ones who forge them can see.”

Nelika shook her head in a show of long-suffering, huffing out a breath and shoving a piece of cheese in her mouth. She stooped to place the plate in the ground for Diana to devour the remnants of their forgotten breakfast. As she stroked a hand over Diana’s shoulder, her gaze traveled over the spare camp Daiyu had created in the clearing. So far as she could ascertain, Daiyu had brought little more than a light travel pack and her steed. Concern for what had been left in Argeș pricked low under her ribcage. 

When Nelika spoke again, her voice was threadbare, “Did you get a chance to bring them with you? I escaped past the monks when I could to leave something for them at the house. Though, I’m afraid I may have neglected them.”

Daiyu looked at Nelika with a gentle expression, “I’m sure they would agree with me when I say, anything you brought them was more than enough. Thank you for remembering them.”

Nelika nodded. “We never forget the ones that have moved on before us, yes? Beliefs aside.”

“Beliefs aside,” Daiyu agreed with a nod.

Nelika sniggered, “I’m sure your father  _ adored  _ Alucard.”

Daiyu let out a laugh. “Yes. Until he reached puberty prematurely.” 

Nelika laughed with her, “Didn’t we all?”

“Yes, but not as soon as he did.”

“Pardon?”

Remembering Adrian during that time was both parts amusing and draining, “He aged at an accelerated rate. One of the ‘perks’ of being Dracula’s son, I suppose.”

Nelika’s smile was strained, eyebrows high. “You can’t be serious.”

Amusement washed over Daiyu. “Oh, but I am. Can you  _ imagine _ the surprise?”

Nelika blinked, trying to envision a boy. . . man. A man-child. With fangs. And hormones. “Whose surprise, his mother’s, yours, or his own?”

“All of the above,” Daiyu hummed good humoredly. “For me, the most confusing part was that he didn’t  _ look _ his age. The actions I accepted easily.”

Nelika winced. “When you and I met. . . how old did he look then?”

Daiyu considered for a moment. “Between eleven and twelve.” 

“And. . . and how old was he  _ really? _ ”

“He had recently celebrated his sixth birthday.”

Nelika turned on Daiyu with urgency, “How old is Alucard  _ now?” _

Daiyu had to force herself not to laugh at Nelika’s concern. “He’s fully an adult, no matter which race you ask.”

Nelika relaxed. “I don’t think I would have been able to survive holding such. . . trepidation within me for a  _ child.” _

“Good to know you are so fierce,” Daiyu deadpanned. “Adrian has always been mature for his age. He is still young in some ways, but has been forced into maturity, both physically and emotionally, earlier than should be expected of any.”

Nelika raised an eyebrow at Daiyu. “You look on his faults with generous leniency.”

“As you do on mine,” was all Daiyu offered.

“You just look on them too harshly.”

“That could be an argument used against all of us,” Daiyu paused. “I hope both you and Adrian can give each other enough time before making up your minds to hate each other.”

Nelika thought very carefully before responding, “I don’t  _ hate  _ him.”

Daiyu inclined her head. “You’re getting  _ very _ close, though.”

“ _ I  _ am putting forth every effort to learn more of him and widen my perspective and preconceptions of the man.  _ He  _ is stripping to avoid me.” 

Daiyu gave an apologetic smile. “That, I fear, is partially my fault. I did tell him to leave,” she murmured, thinking of the night before. “Unless you are wanting to form a bad relationship, you can’t just shove the blame on him. Considering you are hoping to make the castle your home, you might want to consider that.” 

Nelika gave her a look of bewilderment, “Shove the blame? I am speaking fact, woman!” She reached over to pluck a dried grape from Daiyu’s plate, tossing it at her in retaliation. 

Daiyu easily caught the food and popped it into her mouth, “It was only his shirt. . . I feel he may believe his very presence could set you off again.”

Nelika flinched at that, looking away with a dejected grimace. “I. . .”

“It’s not your fault. How things happened last night, he was made to be the outsider, and unwelcome.” Diayu considered her next words. “While most of what you have seen of him to this point might make it hard to believe, Adrian is kind. . . I didn’t get to speak with him today about what I told him last night. It hurt him deeply and I fear set in his mind that being near you wasn’t something he should do.”

Nelika wouldn’t look at her, reaching a hand up to fiddle with her locket, instead. “How would you suggest I go about resolving matters, then?”

Daiyu tilted her head in thought. “Don’t force yourself. If you don’t want to be around him and try to do so using polite manipulation, he will know. Perhaps, explore the libraries, eat plenty, and find reasons to just be yourself.”

Nelika frowned. That had to be the most vague, worst advice she’d ever been given in regards to forming relationships and alliances. She forced out a breath. “Will you tell me about the pirates?”

Daiyu nodded, with a smile. “Pirates, from the outside, are considered as a plague on the local merchants and port towns. Integrating into their ranks, I would have to agree with that. Their way of life is not sustainable. They put themselves and any they do ‘business’ with at unnecessary risk.” Daiyu’s eyes traveled to where Diana was, then offered her the rest of what was on her plate. “To be able to live among them, you have to adopt a certain way of thinking. It consists mostly of, ‘we’re all probably going to die tonight, or tomorrow at the latest.’ I’m sure you can come up with plenty of ideas of the kind of lifestyle that encourages.”

“One that involves handsy pirates that pull you from your life’s dedications, apparently,” Nelika said with a smirk. “But that’s only  _ one  _ aspect of it. I want to know  _ more  _ and it’s  _ so  _ much more entertaining to hear stories from the source. Who was the eldest pirate? How did he—or she—help during the raids? Were there any animals on board? Did you name the rats? Which pirate always stirred up the most trouble? Did you fulfil your purpose in infiltrating their ranks?”  _ How did you get out?  _ She wouldn’t ask that, not yet. 

Daiyu smiled at Nelika’s curiosity, “I stepped away from that lifestyle when I left the monastery. Pirates didn’t influence that decision—Of all those questions, you’re going to have to be a bit more specific which ones you want answered.” 

Nelika pouted dramatically, “Come now, love, you know me better than that. I want to know answers to  _ all of them.  _ Spare me no detail or nuance. I’ll take it in book-form, if you kept a journal.”

At her request, Daiyu started from the first question Nelika had asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alucard will be back for the chapter next week, but the girls needed some girl time! Hope you enjoyed it, leave us a comment if you feel so inclined~!


	7. Alucard Gets Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Friday the 13th in 2020. Have an early chapter! Also, sorry, but there's a lot of sad in this chapter. Is angst in the tags? Cause it definitely should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for alcohol abuse and self-harm and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Alucard couldn’t help but smirk as he meandered through the silent halls, intent on his destination. She had agreed to call it a nest. He wasn’t certain if the name had been offered up by Diana to be voiced by Nelika after hearing him refer to Daiyu’s home in the trees as such, but he could entertain the idea that he had been the original source. And she’d said it wasn’t a nest. He let out a quiet snort. But then, he also supposed she’d told him they would never be involved. Things had certainly changed. 

He strolled into his childhood room with an easy swagger, “I finally got that kiss you told me I would sooner turn blue than receive.”

He settled on the charred remnants of the rug, folding a knee to rest his arm on, his other leg easily stretched out before him. His gaze slid down to the ring that had been a permanent resident on his father’s hand for as long as Alucard could remember. Though it offered no response, he could remember how his father’s single brow would raise in appraisal. 

_Your patience seems to have finally worn her down. Well done. And was your prize worth the efforts you put in?_

“She was magnificent,” Alucard breathed out an easy smile, head tipping back. His gaze roved over the gentle curls of constellations that had been painted along the ceiling for a moment before he closed his eyes. “She. . . she followed me.” 

The words felt flat for all that Daiyu had offered him. The kernel of hope that had been planted in him when he had first breathed her scent was steadily unfurling within him. She had followed him. She knew all he had done, saw it all, and still she would stay with him. 

_The intricacies of a woman should not be portrayed with the same words used to explain the actions of a canine, boy._

Alucard’s gaze drifted to the broken window, brows furrowing in a frown. But, what else was there to say? She had followed him to the grove. She had said it was beautiful. She hadn’t moved when he had put himself before her but. . . she hadn’t moved. When his lips had caressed hers, Daiyu hadn’t moved. She may have even stopped breathing. 

“Fuck.”

His fingertips pushed into the hair at his scalp, likely turning it into even more of a tangled heap than Diana’s ministrations had left it in. “Of course she didn’t move. I’d just finished sobbing into her neck like a milkmaid.”

Daiyu was altruistic at the best of times, self-sacrificing at the worst. Why would he have assumed her not moving to mean that she approved of what he was doing—that she would have _wanted_ him to force himself upon her in such a way. Her voice when he’d pulled away, the careful consideration in her eyes— 

“ _Fuck._ ”

He’d forced himself upon her. Only considered his own yearning and pain. And had acted to rectify it without her consent. A harsh bark of a laugh tore from him. More so than a monster, he was a damn _fool._

_“Oh, really. And did you enjoy whatever happened that was more than talking but less than what Diana is probably thinking?”_

No, no she hadn’t. 

_“And how much more are you wanting to touch, Daiyu?”_

Nothing. She hadn’t even looked past his eyes after he’d left her with his shirt. She hadn’t reached for him when he had cradled her face between his palms. Despite how close they’d been, her touch had never strayed below his shoulders. 

_“My heart isn’t in a place where it can be much concerned with such things.”_

A self-deprecating garble tore from him. He was no better than those whose actions he had deemed worthy of being staked outside the castle’s steps. His eyes snapped open at the thought, gazing down at the network of scarring around his forearm. His right hand trembled as he grasped his left wrist, tight enough to bruise. The tense knit of his muscles turned the movement into a jerking marionette's maneuver as he slowly lowered his head to press against the cross of his thumb over the inside of his wrist. 

She had been wrong. There was no going back. He had become a monster. 

* * *

It was well past dark when they made their way back to the castle. As Daiyu had shared some of her ventures with Nelika, she took the opportunity to treasure the memories of that time. 

“I would encourage you to find at least one of the libraries tomorrow. They are all quite impressive.”

Nelika stretched with a yawn that shivered through her form with its might. “At least one? How many are there?”

“Enough to keep even someone like you busy,” she said in a light teasing tone.

Nelika stretched out over Diana’s back as Diana gave out her own yawn. “At present, the only entertainment I seek is the sort found behind one’s eyelids.”

“That should be easily—” Daiyu’s head jerked up as a breeze went by.

Diana’s ears pricked in tandem, all signs of fatigue swept away with the scent of desolation carried on the wind. _Flat Tooth needs the pack._

“Diana, please take care of Nelika,” was all Daiyu said before wings sprang from her shoulders. She tensed her muscles and launched skyward.

“Daiyu!” Nelika spluttered out in shock as she watched Daiyu take to the skies. She looked back down to where Diana was watching after Daiyu fastidiously. “Diana?”

After a moment of prolonged silence, Diana resumed her walk into the castle, gaze lingering on a spot in the distance, concealed from Nelika by the cover of night and range. _Daiyu is tending to the pack. You need sleep._

Nelika didn’t offer another contradictory utterance. 

Alucard sat numbly looking over his childhood room, fixating on the splintered post he’d used to kill his father, the charred rug, the light film of shadow that seemed to remain even after Dracula’s spirit had been released, the blood spattered bed sheets. He tipped the bottle back, taking another long draw of brew. It burned all the way down, even curling in his gut, it burned with a vengeance. He never did learn how Daiyu and his father managed to brew the beverage with so much alcohol. He truly hoped there were more bottles in storage somewhere. It was a big castle. 

He blearily blinked up as a winged figure hovered outside the window for a moment before pulling its wings in tight to spin in past the jagged shards of glass that still tenaciously held on to the edges of the panes. For a moment, he thought perhaps death had finally come to him. Then, her wings snapped out, neck and shoulders bowed with the movement. She stirred the air around her with each short push of her wings—her presence banishing the creeping darkness back to the corners—before she folded her wings tightly against her back, raising her head. Recognition followed slowly after her eyes met his. Alucard smiled. 

“Daiyu.”

As she straightened, amber-bright eyes sweeping over the room in a quick surveillance, self-loathing tightened its hold at his throat. She was so kind to him—too kind. Even after he’d pushed himself on her, she came to comfort him. And yet, his heart still had the audacity to leap at seeing her. 

Alucard glowered down at the bottle in his grasp before tipping its contents back once more. “Unless you’ve brought me another bottle or come to offer up retribution, it may be best that you leave.”

Daiyu glanced down at where he was slumped against the wall by his desk, waves of golden hair pulled free from where he had secured it at the nape of his neck. Her gaze settled on the fresh oozing of blood trailing over the netting of scars across his arms. Though his nails were now blunted, the evidence of his dried blood remained. 

Seeing him in such a state caused a new kind of pain to twist in her chest and spread through her body. She’d felt sure she was making the right choice, coming back. But the idea haunted her, that she had somehow added to his pain since her return. 

_I came to be here for you, but how am I supposed to do that?_

“Why do you think that?”

He scoffed into the bottle before taking another swig. He winced slightly at the acrid bite, his voice pure gravel when he responded, “You and I are both aware that I do not handle being drunk with class.”

She considered taking the bottle for a moment, but decided against it. “You and I both know, I’ve never been concerned with class.”

“Perhaps now would be a good time to start.”

“I disagree. It seems like the worst time.” She paused, considering how to proceed. “I feel a need to apologize.” 

He frowned in confusion, casting about for anything she would need to apologize for. “If you’re referring to our altercation at the door, it was well deserved and easily healed.”

“No, I feel my actions then were within reason. I was referring to this afternoon—”

Alucard abruptly stood, throwing out a steadying hand as he fixed a glare on her full of all the self-loathing that was tearing into his chest. “No.” He pushed past her to the doorway, still carrying the gouges from his father’s claws. 

Before he pushed clear of her, Daiyu grabbed his uninjured arm and spun him back to face her. She could sense the spike in his emotions. “No?”

Alucard hissed as the movement jarred the bottle in his grasp, coming too close to losing some of the beverage than he was comfortable. When he met her gaze, his eyes were bright with fury. “Do you suffer loss of hearing when you sprout wings? _No.”_

She met his gaze with a steely one of her own. “If anything, my hearing only increases in this form. While your voice is saying no, every other part of you is screaming something else. Why am I not allowed to apologize?”

“Because you have nothing to apologize for and if I hear otherwise from you I may very well go for something stronger than this drink to numb it all.”

She raised her brow slightly, tasting fear on her tongue. “What?”

He deflated, turning away from her to look at the doorway and the gouges and all that it signified. Even with the alcohol rasping his voice and roiling in his stomach, he was too sober for this. “Let me go, Daiyu. Please, just let me go.”

The agony in his voice slipped between her ribs like a knife. She wished for nothing but to chase out some part of it. “What will you do if I don’t?”

“I won’t hurt you,” his head bowed with the broken whisper, “I refuse to hurt you any more than I already have.”

Her grip on his arm tightened slightly. “I believe you. You haven’t hurt me, Adrian.” 

His lip raised in a snarl as he snapped back to her, “ _I can smell it on you, Daiyu!”_ ‘

Her expression softened. “What, exactly, do you smell on me?”

“Pain, grief, mourning, _regret_ —” he let out a sharp breath, lifting his head to search her gaze, his eyes begging. His voice broke as he breathed out, “Please.”

She held his gaze, everything he had listed reflected in her eyes. “You promised you wouldn’t run.”

A dark laugh left him, “You never were ashamed to fight dirty.”

She said nothing more and continued to hold his gaze. Sorrow swept in as a tide washing over the shore. If he wanted nothing to do with her, she couldn’t blame him. She had left, only to come back too late. 

“Don’t do that,” he murmured to Daiyu, brows turned up in pleading as her scent betrayed her once more.

“If you are determined to walk away from me, I won’t stop you,” she paused, releasing his arm and taking a step back. As she did so, all of her pain and self-loathing coiled within her, like the tattoo over her shoulders. “But know this. If you do, everything you’re sensing from me now, will only increase.”

He lurched to a stop in the doorway. Very slowly, he turned to look over his shoulder, a myriad of emotions playing in his gaze. “Why do you let what I do affect you? Why did you come, Daiyu? Why are you hellbent on forgiving me?”

In a moment of complete vulnerability, she worried her lower lip between her teeth. Realizing what she was doing, she released it. “What you do affects me, because you are all the family I have left. If anything happens to you, I don’t know what I would do,” a slight quiver shook her voice. The desire to step toward him, seek and give refuge there, throbbed in her chest. 

She took a steadying breath. “I came back, because I knew your father wouldn’t wage such a war unless something had happened to you, your mother, or both. The very idea that you might no longer be a part of this world—I don’t feel a need to forgive you. I was never angry with you.”

“Then I shall stay,” Alucard said simply—as if he could have ever convinced himself to act against Daiyu’s wishes, as if there had ever been a question how he would respond when she had asked—walking over to crumple on his childhood bed. His focus was drawn back to the splintered post of his bed. He took another drink. 

Daiyu followed after him. “Thank you.” As soon as the bottle lowered from his lips, she took it from his hand. “You’ve had more than enough of this for now.”

Alucard startled slightly at the snarl that tore from him as she confiscated the beverage. He blinked up at her before nodding haltingly. 

She raised a brow at his reaction. All of the emotions he had spoken of, she could scent on him. Self-loathing seemed to mirror and amplify itself in all the others, though. “Would you tell me why? Why do you want to run from me?”

His gaze flicked to her before he looked away once more, lips twisting in a grimace. “I should have trained under your father by your side. My self control is sorely lacking. I’d prefer to not make more of an ass of myself than I’ve already managed.”

“Aside from where my mother was concerned, he was a master of self control,” Daiyu acknowledged. “I’m still at a loss, though. Towards me, how have you made yourself an ass?”

His right hand twitched toward the fresh wounds layered atop the crossing scars along his left forearm. He restrained the urge, instead, fisting his left hand and watching as the pull of skin and muscle reopened the wounds. The light sting of pain was a muted hiss in the back of his mind—a reminder. 

She watched his movements, concern showing across her features. He had shut her out and chosen pain. The part of her that wanted to seek and give comfort through closeness unfurled in her again, but she wasn’t sure he would want her to. She moved and sat beside him. Just close enough for her shoulder to brush against him, and waited.

For a moment, he closed his eyes and relished the reality of her choosing to sit beside him, before he moved to put distance between them once more. “You don’t need to patronize me, Daiyu.”

Pain and sorrow twisted in her again as he moved away. “Patronizing?” A mixture of confusion and anger flashed across her mind. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”

Alucard raised an eyebrow at the spike of emotions in the air. “Is that not what you’re doing?”

“No, it’s not.”

“In place of a patron, would you prefer I compare you to a companion—an emotional support or crutch? Diana does well enough filling that position.”

Daiyu’s eyes filled with the sting of his words, but she turned away before any could fall. She closed her eyes. Tears would do nothing to help here. He thought she was patronizing him? A crutch? _Why?_ Mere hours before, he had shown no such inclination to so decidedly push her away. There had been no indication that he had felt her efforts were a tool she was offering for him to use, until she was no longer needed. Like some kind of medicine, or tool.

Alucard hit the ground before her, swift enough to disturb the air in the room. His hands cradled her face, thumbs brushing over her eyelids to wipe away the mere thought of moisture existing there before his thoughts could comprehend his movements. 

He snorted through a sad smile, it would do nothing to aid their current impasse, but he couldn’t not touch her when she was showing him her tears. “You see? I’ve done it again. Will you allow me to leave now, or will you continue to claim that I am ‘running away’?”

She turned her face toward his left hand. How much pain he must be in to continually push her away. Even when she had hurt him in the past, denying his advances, he had never run from her. He had always been the one reminding her that running never solved anything. She took a steadying breath. 

“Why are you hurting yourself?” she asked as she opened her eyes to look at him.

When she didn’t pull away, he allowed himself to continue idly stroking over her cheekbone. “Not hurting—reminding. You know nothing this superficial will actually hurt me, Daiyu.” 

A myriad of emotions flooded through her as he spoke. She simultaneously wanted to throw him to the ground and demand he understand. Hurting himself was not a tolerable course of action. Then on the other side, she wanted to cradle him and speak soft words of comfort to him. She reached a hand up to his forearm, where there was still a trickle of blood weeping from his wounds. Gently, she ghosted her fingers over the cuts, as if she might gently brush them away. “Why won’t you heal yourself?”

He gave her a half-smile. “It wouldn’t be much of a reminder then, would it?” 

“Why do you feel a reminder is needed? You are already filled with so much pain and suffering.”

Alucard pulled his gaze from hers, focusing on the smooth back and forth movement of his thumb over her cheek. His voice was a broken rasp as he replied, “When you live with something long enough, you grow numb to it. Pain and suffering have become routine. I needed something more. Something I could feel.”

In the same moment her heart shattered, anger flooded in. When she spoke, there was a quiver in her voice, “Then break the routine. Is this really how you want to live? I can’t stop you from the path you chose to walk, but when you hurt yourself, you hurt me.” Her tone was like an oath. She brushed her fingers over his arm, and continued in a muted voice, “If you leave too—I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“Do we have any other choice?”

“There’s always another choice.”

Alucard couldn’t stand her dirtying her fingers with his blood for another moment, urging the skin under her touch to close. The next words from his mouth were raw and hopeful enough to prove the potency of the alcohol, despite his self-determined sobriety. “Would you show me?” 

She felt the wounds close under her fingers, but noted, the scars still remained. Closing her eyes, she turned and placed her mouth in the palm of his hand. “I will try.” She turned back to look at him. “But you should know, I don’t have faith in my abilities to do so.” 

His heart leapt into his throat at that small contact. The voice of restraint that spoke self-loathing and uncertainty to his hopes was a long-forgotten echo in his mind, muffled by the film of drink still coating his tongue. Cautiously and haltingly enough to give her a chance to move if she so chose, Alucard moved his hand to brush his thumb over her bottom lip. His breath rattled out of him. “Are you giving me permission? Do you _want_ me to ravage you?”

A voice echoed across Daiyu’s mind, _Promise you’ll try to find happiness. Don’t mourn the death for too long. I would rather you celebrate that I lived._ She looked at Adrian, and the change that had come over him in the last moments. She knew part of it was the alcohol, but his intent and desires went beyond that. A part of her wanted to say yes, but she knew it was wrong. Adrian deserved better.

“Not now—I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to again.”

Alucard released a breath, letting his hands drop away. After a beat, his gaze snapped back to hers, “Not _now_?”

She regarded him for a moment. “I can’t make any promises. I’m sure you heard me and Nelika talking on the way back to the castle. . .” She wished he would say something.

Listening with rapt attention, Alucard hastily made to encourage her. “Yes, she is rather loud.”

A small smile played at the corner of her mouth. “She can be.” Her smile faded. “The part where I told her my heart has retired from the assembly. That’s why I can’t promise you anything at this time. I don’t want to use you.”

“Use me. I wouldn’t expect any such thing from you—” Alucard bit his tongue, taking a moment to sit back on his heels. He held up a hand as he tried to think through the fog. “Wait. Please.” 

Daiyu waited as he mulled over his thoughts. 

Was he really suggesting to objectify her in such a way—to just use her and imply that his motives didn’t run deeper, truer? She had allowed him to kiss her, had given him the promise of a possibility in the future. Was he so rapacious that he would try to pull more from her? There were more important matters than satisfying his base needs. 

He looked up at her carefully. “Who hurt you?”

His question cut deep. Laying open a wound that she had forced shut. “I did.” 

“Then, clearly, you are in good company,” Alucard droned. “And as such, I can recognize, self-inflicted pain is usually prompted. Why did you hurt yourself?”

“I’ve never doubted your quality of company.” She lifted her other hand that still held the bottle out to him. Her eyes were unfocused, as she slipped from reality.

He reached out, but instead of collecting the offered bottle, his hand settled over hers. He tilted his head at her, gently trying to pull her back out. “Daiyu.”

Agony. This was agony in its purest form. She looked up at him. “Adrian.”

The corner of his mouth quirked. “Now who’s running?”

She looked down to his hand over hers. He wasn’t wrong. She let out a deep sigh, “Of course you choose now, to get sober.” 

Alucard shrugged. “Some things are best to forget. This is not one of those things.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

His eyebrow raised. “Are you certain you don’t want to keep this for yourself?” he asked, lightly tapping his finger over the back of her hand where it was still grasping the bottle.

She shook her head gently. “I know how to make more. Also, I don’t know what I would do if the pain stopped with it’s help,” she lifted their hands that held the bottle slightly, “only to start again once it wore off.”

“Drink more.” He thought of his towering wastebasket in the kitchen, full of empty wine bottles. Of the cellars that were steadily becoming barren. But as sure as a man lost in the desert being drawn to an oasis, his mind finally settled on the fact that once more—she wasn’t pulling away. “I’d very much like to kiss you again.” 

The idea of allowing herself to let go, forget, and just feel, begged to be heard. The thought that such actions would bring immediate gratification, and long term self-deprecation, for both of them, crossed her mind. “I am fully aware that many kisses become ravaging. Especially when one or both parties have consumed a fraction of the amount of drink you have.”

Alucard’s gaze became intent as he rose up to place his hands just outside of her hips. Close enough for him to feel her heat. “You just said I was sober. And I’m not hearing a no.”

For her entire life, saying no had been easy. She’d had a reason to. Now, she had reason to side step, but she couldn’t say no. She knew what it was to love and be loved. “You know sobriety comes and goes. Especially with you—no matter what happens, you’re going to overthink everything in the morning. Try being kind to your sober self.”

“One of the privileges of being drunk is that you don’t have to think about your ‘sober self’.” He was close enough now to bump the tip of his nose against hers. He breathed, “You still haven’t said no. Is that a yes?”

“Adrian.” She brought her head up and pressed her lips to his forehead. He was not making this easy. “Until I know I’m not disrespecting, or using you, I ask that you wait.”

Alucard frowned, but sighed out a smile for her as he sat back on his heels once more. “Though I think I would rather like the idea of you using me,” he gave her a pointed look, “I have gotten rather good at waiting. I might even go so far as to say I excel at it.”

She considered him with a guarded expression. Of course he knew what it was to wait. As soon as he had been old enough to be concerned with such things, he’d wasted no time in letting her know what he wanted. He had never pushed past her refusals, but never hidden that it was something he longed for.

“I’m sorry I can’t give you the answer you desire. I care too deeply for you to even entertain the idea of possibly abusing your trust. You’ve had more than enough people do that.” 

“It would be different with you,” he murmured, his gaze open and vulnerable, “You’re different.”

“You think too highly of me,” she let out in a whisper.

Alucard laughed at the irony of that, reaching forward to pick up a hand, raising it to place a kiss along the back. “You fly, it wouldn’t be fitting for me to think otherwise.” 

Daiyu let out a soft laugh, “Literal humor only works so well.” 

He grinned back at her. It was worth it, if just to see her smile. 

Alucard marveled for just a moment at the scrape of calluses along her palm and fingers, resolving to ask her once more for her story—later. Maybe at that time, if he asked for a kiss, she wouldn’t just say no. 

“How would you suggest we proceed?” 

She wasn’t sure about his question. Did he mean for the night? She hoped it wasn’t for the long term. He needed to be sober and she needed sleep before they tried to wade through that.

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Would you perhaps be willing to go out and look at the stars with me?”

Alucard gave her a strange look. “That. . . is a bit more short-term than I was intending, but how could I say no to looking at the stars with you? Shall we go to one of the overlooks or would you prefer to gaze from your nest?”

Daiyu considered the options he offered. The arduous journey to reach the castle and all that had happened since arriving were catching up with her. Exhaustion had been knocking at the base of her skull for days now, gradually becoming louder and more demanding. She also wanted to give him something for the inevitable hangover he would face in the morning. “Perhaps, the nest for tonight.”

Alucard gave her a smug smirk at her silent acceptance of the term. Then she turned toward the window she had spun in through, and his face fell. He considered the round frame of jagged glass for a moment—watching her twist her wings around her form to slip between its teeth with unmatched dexterity—before admitting, “That window is not made to accommodate Tepeș shoulders. I’ll meet you in the sky.” 

From outside the window, Daiyu tilted her head in acceptance. “I’ll meet you around one of the higher overlooks.” Turning, she started circling higher.

As Daiyu spiralled upward in a wide loop, she focused on her breathing and feeling the air currents. She needed to establish balance within herself. With how Adrian was acting and the involuntary impulses of her body, she knew it wasn’t safe to continue in his company before recentering herself. 

Focusing on her other senses, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose, full of chi. It entered her lungs and then spread along the direct paths to the rest of her body. Filling her with life and energy. Exhaling, the used chi carried discord and imbalance out of her body. As she continued her assent, she breathed in, then out, with each wing beat. 

By the time she felt she was gaining a level of balance that she was satisfied with, the air had turned frigid. Opening her eyes, she wondered at how far she had climbed. It was like she could reach out and touch the nearest star. 

_ So this is what it is to feel truly free! _ . . .  _ I need to head back. Adrian should be close to an overlook. _ She beat her wings for one final rise, before starting her decent.

As soon as she finished the downstroke of her wings, they vanished. For a moment, the world seemed to freeze in place. She hung suspended between the sky and the earth. Then the moment broke and she fell in a silent gasp.

Picking up speed as she fell, she forced her mind to stay calm. Closing her eyes, she tried to pull her wings back out. She’d had them before, and at her core, she knew the ability was still there— _ but how do I bring them out at will?  _

It was getting harder to breathe as she plummeted through the night sky. The wind whipped past her—she couldn’t catch it to bring it into her lungs. Her chest hurt, screaming for the life giving air it had been filled with as she had ascended.

Even as she tried to will her wings into existence, a part of her whispered that this might be the end. She considered death to be a natural step in life, and the idea of the pain stopping was such a welcome thought. 

Opening her eyes, she caught a glimpse of the castle. Terror and panic filled her anew. Images of Adrian flashed through her mind, followed closely by images of Nelika and Diana.  _ I have reason to live. I want to live! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We aren't experts on these subjects by any stretch of the imagination, but we do care for and worry about others who struggle with such things. Self care is important! Remember to take care of yourselves! Shout out to those friends and loved ones that help us through the hard times!!
> 
> (P.S. You can thank Meldiriel for the cliff hanger. Her excuse is that its Friday the 13th. Hang in there, next chapter on Wednesday!)


	8. Daiyu Falls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title says it all. But, there is a bit of a surprise. . . ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

Alucard watched Daiyu disappear from the space beyond his window, longing curling tight in his chest. He glanced down at where she’d left the bottle of liquor in his grasp. He took a brief swig to drown out the bittersweet emotion before placing the bottle on his desk. It created a dissonant depiction of the pain of growing old, sitting there on his desk. The wood and books and plaques shadowed with the powder-black remnants of his father’s murder, sharing space with the beverage he used to overlook it all. 

Alucard shook his head, turning to make his way toward one of the overlooks Daiyu had indicated. She was right, he’d had too much to drink. He’d reached that point of intoxication that was just far enough on the other side of drunk for him to recover some sense of self. As he walked to the landing, he trailed his fingertips over the cracks spider-webbing along the walls with somber melancholy. He had done this. He had brought destruction down on his home, and now he would never be free of the evidence. 

A wall of cold night air enveloped him as he stepped out onto the protruding slab of stone overlooking the castle from on high. Alucard breathed deep, allowing the brisk air to bring him a moment of clarity as he rose to hover over the security of stable ground. The adrenaline that accompanied the weightlessness of flight had long since left him, but the exhilaration still sang through him at the boundless freedom offered by the endless night sky. He closed his eyes, savoring the breeze that played over his features. 

The sharp scent of panic stung his nostrils and lodged in the back of his throat at the same moment that a muffled gasp registered through his mind. Alucard’s eyes snapped open. He moved to hover in the open air a few feet passed the edge of the landing. 

_ Where is Daiyu? _

Time slowed as his gaze found her form—wingless, monk’s garb whipping around her—as she plummeted toward the ground. His eyes went wide, body flashing hot and cold with hysterical panic. For just a moment, her honey brown eyes found his. Her name screamed through his very being. The fear in her eyes turned to trust as she stretched out an arm to him, the picture of an expectant lover waiting to welcome their other half home. 

Alucard dove. The space he’d been occupying rioted against the displacement and unexpected energy dispelled by his movements. Thunder split through a cloudless night sky. 

She was falling too fast. If he couldn’t get to her—he wouldn’t allow himself to think of a future in which he didn’t catch her. It wasn’t an option. He would catch her. The air tore the tie from his hair, hungrily grabbing in his clothes as he pushed on, faster and faster. He would catch her.  _ He would catch her.  _

He wasn’t breathing. 

Alucard fastened an arm around her waist and another at her shoulders, bringing her in tight to his chest. His eyes were calculating as he searched the ground. They were moving too quickly. He wouldn’t be able to bring them back up at this speed without taking out half of the forest in the process. While he believed it to be a worthy sacrifice, if Daiyu survived, he knew she would have cross words for him. 

He fixed his gaze on the top of the tree line. Tightening his hold on Daiyu, he phased. Relief flooded him when he found her still in his grasp. He immediately pushed their momentum up, propelling them back into the sky. There was another loud crack as the air pressure tore through the trees unfortunate enough to be beneath him. 

His chest heaved in frantic gasps as he was finally able to control their path enough to hover in the night sky, enveloped by stars. Alucard tucked her head beneath his chin, listening intently as he waited, frame shuddering with each gulping inhalation that was forced into his lungs.  _ Breathe, Daiyu. Please, just breathe.  _

When she regained consciousness, Daiyu was enveloped in warmth. For a moment she thought she might actually be dead. Then her last memory flashed across her mind.  _ Adrian! _

She tried to draw a breath, but the air wouldn’t come. Where she wanted to take deep calming breaths, she panted shallowly and her body started shaking. She tried to speak comfort to him, but all it did was cause her body to convulse as she gasped for air.

Alucard sagged with relief when he felt consciousness weigh on Daiyu once more, the momentary reprieve dropping them a few feet through the air. She was alive. He had to resist the urge to crush her to his chest. The last thing she needed was a broken rib when she was trying to bring air back into her lungs. He tried to rub soothing circles into her shoulder, but the movements were jerky. He couldn’t stop shaking. He silently urged her to continue breathing. 

Gradually, she was able to start getting air to her lungs. After a few moments, she brought an arm up to wrap around Alucard's waist to ground herself. It was heavy and shook as she moved it, but she needed something to hold onto. 

After a few minutes of labored breathing, what had just happened started to sink in.  _ I almost died. . . _ A single, hoarse, laughing breath pushed out of her. 

Incredulous agitation flashed through Alucard at the wheezing huff of laughter. He wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her. Demand why she had fallen out of the sky like a star denied its perch amongst its brethren. After her proud words against his self-inflicted pain, was this her answer? All he could manage was a strangled, tearless sob.  _ I almost lost you.  _

Slowly, he started their descent toward the forest, lifting his head to wearily search out her nest.

The sound of his sob pulled Daiyu back to thinking about more than just breathing. She had enough air in her lungs now, she thought she might be able to speak. “I’m sorry.” It came out in a barely voiced whisper. She took a few more breaths. “Thank you.”

He tightened his hold on her as he finally spied the woven tangle of vines that marked her makeshift living space. “Hold on,” Alucard rasped before he closed his eyes and phased them both to a branch above her nest. 

Her breath caught as he phased them. “How long have you been able to do that?” It came out in a slightly more clear voice than before. 

“As long as I needed to,” he responded tightly. “How do we get in?”

She was having a hard time focusing. Her mind and body were weighed down with a fog of exhaustion. “That’s nice. . .” She gently shook her head. “There’s an opening on the other side.”

As his feet settled on the slight give of vines and branches making up the floor of her makeshift hovel, Alucard crumpled. He pulled her into his lap, trying to convince himself of the reality of her weight settled against him, her warmth ebbing and flowing around them. He had caught her. She was alive. He hardly recognized as her name fell from his lips in a muted prayer of gratitude. She hadn’t left him. He curled around her, a bent knee supporting her back as he leaned forward to rest his head on her shoulder. 

Hearing him call her name, Daiyu slowly raised a hand and started running it through his hair, brushing it away from his face. She was regaining her ability to breathe. Taking a deep breath, she leaned her cheek against his. She was so tired—everything was heavy. He’d caught her. Her eyes fluttered shut as she continued to comb her fingers through his hair. “Adrian, thank you. . .”

He turned his head, watching as her hand hovered mid-stroke, before sleep claimed her. He caught her hand in his own before it could fall, smoothing a thumb over her knuckles methodically. Each soft breath released into the air between them was like a lullaby, sinking into his skin and unravelling the fear rooted there. 

_ She’s alive. She’s alive. She’s alive.  _

It was almost ludicrous that he, who had half of Wallachia’s blood on his hands, would have been able to save her. But he had. 

He reverently folded her hand into her lap, drawing back to look over her. He brushed a thumb over the line of her jaw before fitting a hand under her knees and smoothly rising back to his feet. He cast about for a bed, frowning when he found a travel-worn bedroll against the curving wall opposite to the door. He was torn between the desire to bring at least an armful of duvets from the castle to aid in the restfulness of her nights, and the need to keep touching her, just to know that she was still breathing. In a moment of admirable self-control, he decided to lay her atop the bedroll—just long enough for him to return to the castle for some proper bedding. He moved to pull away, only to lurch against the slight tug at the back of his shirt.

A barely audible whisper slipped past her lips, “ _ Don’t go (Ikanaide) _ . . .” 

His chest clenched at her words and the knowledge that came with them. He choked on another, barely audible whimper. She didn’t want  _ him  _ to stay, not really. All at once, he understood why her heart was no longer part of the assembly. There was someone she had found during her travels, someone whose language she now used to call for them. And he was not them. 

Alucard steadied a trembling hand against her cheek, responding smoothly with as much familiarity as she had wanted to show the man who was no longer at her side. “ _ I could never leave you.” _

Her eyes slowly opened. “Adrian. . .” It came out in a rough whisper. When had she fallen asleep? She wanted to push the sleep away, but it pressed in on her. Her hand tightened its grip as she curled it back toward her. 

He gave her a sad smile, touch feather-light as he brushed his thumb over her cheek. “Sleep, Daiyu.” 

His voice reminded her of something. “I have. . . something I need to give you—before. . .”

“You can give it to me later,” he murmured back to her. He pushed out a light chuckle, hoping it didn’t sound as forced as it felt. “Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t have any decent bedding? I’m just going to collect some blankets for you so you aren’t a block of ice in the morning.”

Her brow furrowed, trying to comprehend what he was saying. “What. . . But you need it now.”

He sighed, resigned. Arguing with her further would only pull her farther from sleep. “I can get it. Where is it?”

Her frown deepened. Rolling her head to the side she looked up at him more directly. She fixed him with a piercing gaze. “I—I don’t remember.” It came out in a tone as if he could give her the answer.

Alucard sighed again, moving his hand from her cheek to reach behind him, gently uncurling her fingers from around his shirt. “While you think on that, I am going to go collect the bedding.”

As he removed her fingers, Daiyu tried to resist, but she didn’t have any strength left to resist. “Bedding?”

Not bothering to respond, Alucard gave her back her hand, arranging it atop the other so she could curl in around herself like she usually did when she was feeling vulnerable or uncertain. He turned from her to make for the yawning doorway of her little nest. 

As he turned from her, the inevitability of it sank in. He was leaving. “Will you come back?”

He stopped long enough to respond, “It would be difficult for me to bring you new bedding without coming back,” but didn’t turn back to spare her the sight of the desolate snarl twisting his features. Alucard leapt for the ground, his form dissolving under the cover of white mist. His paws hit the ground with a jolt. He pushed for the castle, a viscous snap tearing past raised lips. 

He’d been deluding himself. She hadn’t wanted him. She’d never wanted him. As many times as she’d turned him away as a boy, he should have learned. But he’d held on to the idea of her like a lifeline. When she’d disappeared, a part of him had left with her. A part he had never believed he would see again. He’d gotten carried away on the reminiscent dreams of his adolescence when she’d come back. She may have come back for his family, but she didn’t come back to be  _ his  _ family. The thought of her giving someone else her rarely earned full smiles and warm touches punched under his ribs and twisted. Had she allowed the man she’d called for in her sleep to kiss her—to ravage her? 

Another snarl tore past him and he pushed on faster, past the open doors of the castle, his form blurring as he made for the long-since abandoned suites in the upper wings. Even if it burned through him—even as each bitter thought bled into another until his jealousy painted a vivid enough picture to make his fangs thirst for blood—he had made Daiyu a promise, and he would not abandon her. He came to a lurching halt before an armoire, pants escaping him as he tried to breath through the transformation. When he was standing on two feet again, he wrenched open the doors, collecting as many pillows and comforters as he could hold. 

The gentle lilting of a Latin lullaby drew him up short. Alucard steadied his breathing, tilting his head to better listen to the warm, rich tones that enveloped each syllable. His lips twisted in a self-deprecating smile as he listened to the words of the last verse: ‘ _ If I give her to the white wolf, He’ll keep her for a long time’.  _ Perhaps it was time he stopped trying to keep anyone. He let out a breath, moving back for the nest.  __

* * *

When he hit the ground, transforming with a snap, Daiyu sat bolt upright, a hand reaching in the direction he had gone. The amount of loathing and rage that had rolled off of him had been enough to pull a dead man from their slumber. For a moment, she sat there in shock at the raw emotions left in his wake. 

Taking a breath, she rose and made her way to the opening. His exit had spooked the horse to such an extent that she needed to go down to calm him. 

As she stood there stroking Chairo’s neck, she couldn’t help the concern washing over her as her mind woke up. She considered again the possibility that the love he had once held for her had turned to loathing. Since arriving at the castle, his emotions of hatred had done nothing but increase. 

_ Am I hurting him by being here? _

If that was the case, no matter how it caused a new kind of pain to twist in her, she could leave. It would be easy for her to disappear into the forests and mountains. Never to be seen or heard of again.

She let out a choked sound, causing the horse to turn and look at her with a deep cinnamon colored eye. Gently, she stroked along his cheekbone. “What do you think?” 

Chairo simply blinked at her before turning his head away. Taking a deep breath, she stepped away and with more effort than it should have taken, vaulted up to get what she wanted to prepare for Alucard. 

Starting the fire, she quieted her mind. Leaving it to run wild and create accusations had never helped. She focused on all the questions running through her mind she hadn’t asked Adrian.  _ Above all else, there are a few things that need to be clarified. _ She unwrapped the tea pot and filled it with water. Placing it over the fire, she sat and waited. He would be back. He always kept his promises. 

His arrival was announced by an inordinate volume of pillows and comforters being unceremoniously tossed in through the opening of vines and branches that had been dubbed the doorway. Alucard ducked in after the last pillow tumbled off the pile, frowning as he fixed a glare on the wall of her nest that obscured his view of her by the river. She was supposed to be asleep, but she was making  _ tea.  _ To add insult to injury, he couldn’t even muster up any surprise at her actions. 

He resolutely turned back to the section of the shelter she had decided to use as her sleeping area. Picking through the pile of bedding, Alucard plucked one of the duvets out, folding it large enough to be comparable with a full bed. He then proceeded to pile the thickly insulated quilts one on top of the other until there was a plush stacking of bedding. He folded back the top layer to allow her to nestle into the warmth, arranging the pillows around what he had determined would be the head of the makeshift bed. 

Alucard stood back to look over his work as he rolled up the travel bed she had been using. He tugged the knot in place around the roll with a decisive yank, but left it beside the bedding he’d brought. Even in this, he wouldn’t take the decision from her. If she would be obstinate enough to insist on living the simplistic lifestyle taught by the monks, it would be her choice. 

He turned to gaze once more at that spot in the walling, knowing Daiyu was waiting for him just on the other side. Alucard waited a prolonged beat, willing her to come back to him—possibly allow him to hold her as sleep cradled them. 

He sighed, shoulders sagging. Now who was being obstinate? He walked to the nest opening, dropping to the forest floor fluidly, before coming to stand beside her. Alucard stared down at the tea pot that was permeating the air with the richly herbal scents of chamomile and green tea broken up with the light sweetness of honey and something else. 

“You were supposed to be sleeping. Not making tea.”

Picking up the pot, she poured the tea into the two cups she had set out. “Some things are more important than sleep.” She turned, offering him a steaming cup.

“What are you drugging me with this time?” Alucard asked dryly as he accepted the offered mug, thinking back on the various teas and poultices she had tested on him as children. 

A ghost of a smile crossed her lips, but she couldn’t bring herself to play along. “It’s just tea. With a little bit of honey,” she murmured. “It’s to help with the hangover.”

Alucard raised an eyebrow at her as he brought the cup to his lips. While he could detect the heavy swirl of emotions tinting the air around her, the scent of the tea was rendering his ability to decipher the emotions obsolete. 

“Tell me what you’re thinking?”

At his request, she looked down. Taking a deep breath of the steam coming out of her cup, she decided to ask the one question that scared her more than anything, “Do you. . .” she swallowed against the tightness in her throat. “Do you hate me?” It came out in a strained whisper. 

Alucard’s head snapped up to fix her with a look of wide-eyed offense. “Excuse me?”

Daiyu turned her eyes to look into the fire. “Do you hate me?” she asked again in a slightly louder tone. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

Anger flared hot through him. She couldn’t be serious. 

Alucard carefully lifted his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose as he let out a measured breath. “Have I done anything that would lead you to that conclusion?”

She felt the anger rolling off of him in waves, but forged ahead. “Since I have arrived back here, every time we have been together, I seem to drive you to new levels of loathing, anger, and sorrow. Each time I try to help you, it turns into the opposite.” What had happened above the castle flashed through her mind. A small shudder went through her. “It’s like my very existence causes you extreme pain.” 

She took a breath, struggling to hold on to reality as exhaustion knocked at the back of her mind once more. “You still haven’t answered the question.”

Alucard resolutely tipped back the small tea cup she had offered him. When he lowered his chin, his gaze burned. He slowly moved forward to put his cup beside the fire before taking her cup from her grasp and placing it beside his own empty one. He never looked away, even as he knelt before her. 

When he spoke, it was a growl full of promise and intent. “This is your chance to either move or incapacitate me.”

She considered him for a moment. He was angry again. She didn’t want to move, and she didn’t want to harm him. She spoke the first thing that came to her mind, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Wrong answer.” 

One hand went to cup the back of her neck, the other grasped her hip. In one sharp tug, he’d pulled her into his lap and slotted his lips over hers. He kissed her like a man intent on ravishing, but his hand never strayed from her hip. 

A torrent of emotions exploded within him at the contact. The thirst he’d experienced in the castle returned, demanding satiation. Had she moved with that man like this? Had she already given all of herself to another? He fought against the urge to use his fangs, but couldn’t quite keep it at bay, sinking his incisors into her bottom lip. 

She could still feel the fury emanating from him as he pulled her in. Where sleep had been trying to pull her down again, desire drove it out. Without thought, her hands came up to rest on his shoulders. She knew she should stop—pull away—but there was a magnetic pull between them that kept her where she was. When his teeth sank into her lip, she gasped and then captured his lower lip between her own.

Alucard couldn’t even hope to fight the groan that pulled from him when she started moving, responding to his ministrations. The words he’d meant to snarl at her died in his throat as need and desire washed away their conversation and the emotions associated with it. Despite that, another thought remained, speaking logic to the back of his mind. 

She’d very clearly said that she did not want anything that could be considered ravishing. With the way she was responding to him, it was getting increasingly more difficult for Alucard to envision this ending any other way. He needed to pull away. He needed to put her back on her rock, thank her for her tea, and bid her goodnight. 

His tongue flicked out to lave over her lip and she let out a little sigh, simultaneously moving one of her hands to the nape of his neck and fisting her fingers in his hair. A carnal growl rumbled in his chest as the sweet pain shot through him to settle low in his gut. The hand at her hip moved to splay over the small of her back, pressing her even closer. 

Well, he could at least say that he’d tried. 

He tilted his head, licking into her mouth eagerly. 

She met his tongue with her own, tightening the grip she had on his shoulder, reveling in the feeling of being held closer to him. A small voice in the back of her head tried in vain to speak reason to her. This couldn’t be the best choice. . . but where had reason gotten her? 

Her hand dropped from his shoulder, coming to rest on his chest, where she fisted it into his shirt. Pulling on his hair she deepened the kiss. 

The rasp of her nails over his chest dug a low moan from him, his mind immediately flashing to all the other places he’d love to have her dig her nails into. He shivered as her tongue brushed over a fang, hand moving of its own accord to the cleft of her ass, dragging her body over his in a way that pulled another wrecked sound from him. 

Releasing his lips in a gasping moan, Daiyu threw her head back, arching her back to press into him as he grabbed her. She took a rasping breath as if she had been drowning, then dropped her head to rest it on his shoulder. Opening her eyes, she looked at the skin at the base of his neck. She wanted to kiss him there too. She wanted to do more than kiss him. 

Alucard froze, listening to her panting breath wash over his neck. He’d never heard her make a sound like that. He swallowed hard. “I believe this may be one of those kisses you referred to. The ones that become ravaging. You were very much against the idea of ravaging.” 

He refused to take in more breath than was necessary. If he breathed in any more of the desire tinting the air around them, he knew he would lose the shred of his mind that wasn’t solely focused on hearing her make  _ that noise  _ again. 

After he finished speaking, she pulled back and fixed him with a piercing glare filled with passion and lust. She couldn’t blame him for thinking that way, but it needed to stop. There were so many things that had changed during the last day that her sleep-deprived mind couldn’t fully comprehend it all. But after her almost falling to her death and the conversations they had shared, she needed to make something clear.

When she spoke, it was a growl, “I said I didn’t want to use you. No matter how much I’ve wanted this, I could never forgive myself if I hurt you. You deserve better.”

He blinked at her, finding it very hard to think of a decent response with his hand still firmly gripping her ass. “You—you’ve  _ wanted  _ this?” 

A part of her just wanted to continue what they had been doing. Show him exactly what she wanted. The feeling of being so close to him, enveloped in his scent, was intoxicating. She took a breath. It did nothing to help clear her mind. The small voice in her mind spoke again. 

_ He has a right to know. _

The simple phrase slammed her back to reality. There were things about her that had changed. Things that he had a right to know. “Before I answer that, would you let me share some things with you?”

Alucard leaned forward to press his forehead against her shoulder, begging for mercy. “There needs to be significantly less of you touching significantly less of me for me to be present for any semblance of a conversation.”

Though moving away from him was the last thing she wanted to do, she had to agree with him. “If you really want me to move, you’re going to have to let go of my ass.”

Alucard groaned. Though he could see the logic in that, it was a lovely ass and he was loath to release it. Nonetheless, she was finally talking. Though the timing and circumstances were less than ideal, he would take what he could get. Reluctantly, he drew away from her. 

She pulled away slowly, immediately missing the warmth that they had shared. To keep herself from trying to reach for him, she sat on the rock, brought her knees up, and folded her arms on top of them.

Before she started, she tried to tamp down all of the emotions that were teaming through her. “Looking back, I can see that there were many times—if I had decided to follow a different path—we would have become intimate then.” She paused for a moment to reflect on all the times she had never allowed herself to entertain the idea. She’d considered it the pinnacle of temptation, and she hadn’t been wrong. “When I left, it tore my heart out. More than myself, I knew to some extent, I was hurting you, but I felt I had to go. Some kind of last respect to my father's wishes.” Her brow furrowed slightly at that.

“After a year of rigorous training at the monastery, I was still struggling to fully invest myself in their way of life. Shortly after I realized I couldn’t continue there, I was given a mission to infiltrate a fleet of marauders.” There was a heavy beat of silence as she considered the timing of it all. “I accepted it as my last mission and departed.” 

She stopped again and lowered her head to her arms. She couldn’t look at him in this moment. It was going to hurt him. “Leaving the monastery, all of the ideals I had lived for my entire life were called into question.” 

Stopping again, Daiyu slowly shook her head. He deserved the respect of her looking at him as she shared these things with him.

Taking a deep breath, she burrowed into the crook of her arm for a moment seeking some kind of comfort. Taking a final deep breath, she raised her head, looking into the distance unseeingly. “I won’t pain you with any details, but I met someone during that time. They changed the way I looked at the world, showed me things I had never imagined.” An unspeakable pain coursed through her. 

“When I heard what was happening here, there was no question that I was going to come for you and your family. My decision came at a heavy price. The one that had shown and taught me so much sacrificed himself so I could follow what I  _ insisted _ was right—” her voice broke and she stopped, taking a shaking breath. 

Her eyes focused as she looked at Alucard. “You see, I have no right to hope for anything from you. I can’t trust that it’s not me just trying to forget. I hurt you when I left, and I fear I’m hurting you now.” 

She finished in a haunted whisper, her eyes losing focus again, “No matter my intent, I always hurt the ones I love.” 

Though jealousy whispered through him once more, it was drowned out by the crushing weight on his chest as Alucard watched Daiyu curl in on herself. He knew when a new sun rose and they were both significantly less compromised, he would spend an exorbitant amount of time pouring over her words and what they meant for him. But for now, his only concern was comforting her. 

Hesitantly, he reached forward, his touch ghosting over where her arms were crossed over her knees. Alucard tilted his head at her as she finally lifted her gaze to his. Though his smile wavered with uncertainty, he opened his arms, inviting her back. 

A new kind of pain, mingled with hope, clenched in her chest. How could he so willingly invite her back? She wanted to tell him how he was being too kind to her and she couldn’t take advantage of it, but she was spent. Unfolding her legs, she rose, only to sink down and curl into his embrace. She took a shaking breath.

Alucard released a sigh of relief as she settled against him once more. He wrapped an arm around her waist, tucking her side securely against his chest. His other hand gently guided her head under his chin before moving down to rub tight circles into the length of muscle between her neck and shoulder, silently trying to persuade her to relaxation. Before his self-confidence deserted him, Alucard gently murmured the words that he had intended to confide when he had taken her tea from her. 

“I’m in love with you, Daiyu.” The single phrase took more breath than six words should have required. He swallowed, taking a breath to continue, “I don’t hate you. I don’t think I could ever bring myself to hate you. I’ve been in love with you since I was old enough to convince my father of the need to explain the difference between familial love and romantic love. Eros,” he breathed out, his tone caressing the word in gravel. His arm tightened around her waist as he let out a disbelieving laugh, “You think I could ever hate you when all I’ve ever wanted to do is convince you to allow me the pleasure of calling you mine? For someone who so ardently follows the path of enlightenment, you can be quite oblivious.”

As he spoke her heart caught in her throat, making it hard to breathe. She was flooded with so many questions—What? Then why had anger been so prevalent in their conversations? Why? How could his love be unaltered? She struggled to accept the idea that after all she’d done, he could still love her. 

She took another shuddering breath. It was too much. She snaked her arm under his, grabbing his shoulder from behind, trying to ground herself. “I am a fool—Am I actually dead? How. . . ?”  __

He snorted softly, “No, but you did give it your best effort.”

She released a huff of air. “That wasn’t intentional.”

Alucard let out a little nervous chuckle, glad her head was still tucked under his chin as he cast about her camp. “I’m afraid what may have followed wasn’t entirely intentional, either.”

Trying to get closer to him, she nuzzled her head in where it was tucked under his chin. It hadn’t been intentional, but in the moment, she couldn’t find any remorse in herself. “Most of what happens in life is unintentional, and it is a beautiful thing.” 

Alucard gave a short hum, nodding against her. Was he allowed to take that to mean she didn’t regret their actions—that at least some part of her had possibly enjoyed it? His heart stuttered at the brush of her skin against his as she moved closer into his embrace. 

He took a moment to close his eyes and remind himself of her current state—so far as his knowledge went, she had not slept in two days, possibly longer. She had gotten close enough to brush against death. Regardless of how her body was responding to him, he wasn’t certain that the rest of her would be so inclined when given the proper amount of rest and distance from the lust still lingering in the air. 

He stopped rubbing circles into her skin to smooth his hand over her shoulder and down to her elbow. “Sleep is also a beautiful thing.” 

“Mmm.” 

But if she slept, did that mean he would leave? Fear flashed across her mind for a moment, but she couldn’t even maintain that. She could feel it. No matter how she wanted to deny it, she had reached and pushed through her limits more times over the past days than she could calculate in her current state. 

Tightening her hold, she let out a small sigh. He was warm, and comforting. “Are you going to leave?”

Alucard lifted his gaze to the heavens in muted exasperation. “How am I to convince you that, so long as you’ll have me, you will not be rid of me? Shall I proclaim my undying love for you again?”

Sleep was creeping in on her again and she had to work to understand what he was saying. “I believe you.” She took a deep breath, his scent filling her senses like a comforting blanket. “Could I ask you to stay a while?”

“You could ask me to bring you the stars and I would find a way,” Alucard responded, his tone tender as he felt the tension drain from her limbs. “But I would suggest we go back to the nest before you consign yourself to sleep.”

Being so close to sleep, she had to think hard about why their current position was an issue. It was  _ very _ comfortable. Shaking her head slowly to bring some consciousness back, she forced her heavy lids to open a fraction. “Right. . . we’re on the ground.”

Alucard moved to secure an arm under her knees, lifting smoothly to his feet. “I believe I can rectify that.” 

He floundered for a moment as the reality of what he’d agreed to do settled over him. She wanted him to stay, while she slept. All at once, his mouth went dry. “Daiyu,  _ where  _ would you like me to stay?”

As he rose to his feet, she was jostled enough to hear his question. It confused her. “Where. . . ? With me.”

He took a steadying breath, pointedly reminding himself that the arousal had long since stopped accompanying her scent. She had been vulnerable with him—she was hurting. More than anything else, Daiyu needed her childhood friend, not whatever he was to her now. 

Still, he needed to affirm with her, “Would it be alright for me to join you in your nest?”

Annoyance flashed across her features. Why was he asking so many questions? “Yes!” It came out harsher than intended.

Alucard couldn’t keep the surprised chuckle that burst from him at the show of her petulance. It was rare to see such unfiltered emotion from her. Even as a child, she had preferred to hold her emotions on a tight leash. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple, lips curved in a smile. Without another word to interrupt her slow descent into unconsciousness, he lifted off the ground.

Usually the sound of his laughter and amusement was something Daiyu enjoyed. But in the moment, it was causing her to feel like a cat when someone insisted on rubbing their fur the wrong way. But it was too much effort to react.

He was careful to keep his flight smooth so as not to jostle her, wincing slightly at the awkward maneuvers he had to employ to get them both passed the hole in the vines while still keeping her nestled against his chest. He knelt by the makeshift bed he’d created for her earlier, silently thanking the foresight that had led him to pull down the top layer of quilting as he gently put her down, moving to pull the padded fabric over her limp form. 

When she felt him place her on something soft, then start to pull away, she reacted fast enough to surprise both of them. Grabbing at whatever was in reach, her fingers curled around the front of his shirt. Her voice was raw with exhaustion and irritation. “Where are you going?” Daiyu jerked him toward her.

Alucard threw out his hands to prevent himself from falling on her, gaze wide as he stared down at where she was perfectly bracketed between his arms. He let out an unsteady breath, unable to tear his gaze away from her closed eyes and furrowed brow. Slow breaths escaped past the gentle parting of her lips. The drag of her nails over his chest immediately threw him back to the memory of her legs settled outside of his hips, muscles systematically clenching and relaxing as his tongue danced with hers. He clenched his eyes in an attempt to push the memory away and remind himself that she was half-asleep. She was only wanting to have someone beside her for comfort and support as she  _ slept.  _ She was only inviting him into bed to  _ sleep.  _ Now he only had to find a way to convince his body of that.

Through the fog in her mind, she was able to sense that he was distressed, but couldn’t figure out why. With colossal effort, she forced her eyes to open part way. “Did I do something wrong?” 

“You’ve done too much too right,” Alucard helplessly groaned in response, eyes clenched tight. He took another deep breath in through the nose, reminding himself that the intent was not there, at least not from her. He forced out a tight, “You would like me to sleep here, in the bed, with you?”

She looked at his closed eyes. “Do you not want to?”

“I feel that depends entirely upon the semantic meaning of ‘sleep with you’ that we are currently using.” 

Alucard felt like he was fighting a losing battle against the desire that was still burning low through him. He took a series of deep breaths, attempting to push back against the temptation, striving for that ‘inner peace’ Daiyu was so fond of. 

She looked at him with a confused expression. “Semantics?” Her tone was almost pleading, trying to understand what he meant.

He forced out another breath, decisively moving to lay beside her, his back facing her. He jerked the duvet over them, gritting his teeth against the knowledge that he was sharing a bed with Daiyu— _ with Daiyu— _ who had so fervently insisted that she had actually  _ wanted  _ to capture his lips between hers and press into him. 

Alucard ground out past clenched fangs, “Sleep.”

As he moved and uttered that one word, she recognized the scents swirling around him. Suddenly his reasons for hesitating snapped into sharp focus. 

She gasped, sitting bolt upright.  _ What is wrong with me? _

“I—I’m so sorry, Adrian.” Her head was spinning. She leaned forward, bringing her knees up to rest her head on.

He glanced over his shoulder at her—any semblance of self-control having long since left him—he emphatically snapped at her, “ _ Go the fuck to sleep.” _

She flinched at his snarl. Turning her head slowly, she looked at him with wide eyes. “. . .  _ How?” _

“You didn’t seem to have such a problem a moment ago.” Alucard turned away from her once more, mental exhaustion weighing down on his words. “I don’t think you could get me much closer to you, Daiyu. Please, just sleep.”

It hurt to watch him turn his back, but she knew he was doing it for her sake. That only made it hurt worse. “I’m sorry—If you don’t want to, you don’t have to stay.”

After a moment of deliberation, Alucard finally resigned himself to frustrated mortification. He sat up, securing an arm around her waist and laying her against the pillows once more. Not giving her a chance to object or sit up again, he pulled the quilt over them and laid beside her, an arm around her waist keeping her decidedly horizontal. Alucard tried to ignore the heat in his face at their proximity and what it would reveal to her. 

“I told you I would stay,” he demurely murmured into the nape of her neck. 

As he spoke, Daiyu wished she had been a bit more present when he’d agreed to stay. This was torture for him, but he seemed to have made up his mind. Leaving no room for negotiations. 

Reaching down, she placed her hand over his. “Thank you for catching me,” she said in a muted tone. 

The frantic race of his thoughts stilled at the reminder of that world-altering moment when he had seen her plummeting toward the ground. Alucard ducked his head to place a lingering kiss against her shoulder, whispering against her, “Thank you for believing I could.”

Her breath caught as he pressed his lips against her shoulder. She tightened her hand over his.  _ He’s trying to be kind and gentle. After  _ you _ basically coerced him into your bed.  _ You _ don’t get to start having ideas!  _

She forced her voice to be steady, “I always have—and always will, believe in you.”

He would never be enough to deserve her. But for some reason, the realization didn’t bother him. Alucard just smiled, gently nuzzling into her back, mindful of the spike of interest that he had provoked by kissing her shoulder. 

“Sleep,” he said, a gentle command for the both of them. They would address  _ other  _ matters in the morning. Now, she needed the recuperation offered by a full night’s sleep.

The single word he spoke spread over and through her like a child's favorite lullaby. For the first time since she’d heard of Dracula’s purge, she felt peace as she drifted to sleep. Subconsciously, she pulled the hand she was holding further around her and let out a sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it~! If so, please give us a comment! Those things are our /life's blood/. See you next Wednesday! Spoiler alert: there's cuddling. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)


	9. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daiyu and Alucard wake up in a rather compromising position. (/ω＼*)……… (/ω•＼*)

Diayu was floating in a wonderful place. It was like being at the beach on a perfect day. There was warmth all around, but a cool breeze brushed by, making it just the right temperature. There was also a pleasant kind of alluring aroma of amber and slate wafting around her. She took a breath and let out a contented sigh. Moving to stretch, she started to realize that the warmth wasn’t as imagined as she’d thought. There was a very real heat coming from behind her.  _ When was the last time I slept so deeply? _

Her brow furrowed slightly as she started to wake up. She resisted for a minute, wanting to fall back into the peaceful space she’d been in. But the longer she laid there, the more her senses told her what she was feeling was much more real than she’d originally thought. Tightening her grip on what she was holding to her chest, Daiyu lazily opened her eyes.

There was light filtering through the leaves and vines from the morning sun.  _ I haven’t slept past the sun rising since—I don’t remember. . . What am I holding? _

She looked down to see a large hand clasped in hers. Staring at it, she tried to remember how it had gotten there. It felt nice. As if it belonged there. Warm. Strong, but gentle. She blinked slowly a few times as she studied the hand. Then it started to come back to her and her eyes widened. She’d fallen the night before. Adrian had caught her.

. . . _ Oh no. . . _

He’d caught her and then she’d ended up in his lap—She tried to remember everything else, but her mind was still struggling to wake up. 

Slowly, she tried to move, but found it was not such an easy thing. During the night they had become entangled with each other. The arm that wasn’t over her waist was now under her head. Looking up, she could see the hand stretched out in front of her laying palm up. One of his legs was looped in between hers, removing any distance that had existed between them. There was also something else—she let out a small gasp. Simultaneously recognizing what she was feeling and what had happened that had caused them to be like this.

_ What is wrong with me? He’s been hurt and all I can do is use him and persuade him to sleep beside me when he very clearly has other needs. Not to mention, he was inebriated! _

Alucard stirred as she moved against him, a contented hum buzzing low in the back of his throat as he wove his fingers between hers, nuzzling into her warmth and sweet herbal scent. He was having a  _ very  _ good dream. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d last had such a pleasant dream. Despite the arousal burning tight and low, he would have been happy to drift in this dream with nothing more than the phantom weight, warmth, and comfort provided by having her enveloped in his arms. 

As he started moving, Daiyu’s internal berating came to an abrupt halt. She was distracted by his body slowly shifting against hers and the soft sounds of his stirring. And trying to keep herself from getting any more aroused. 

It wasn’t working.

He hooked an ankle around hers, pulling her closer still as his lips languidly ghosted over any piece of bare skin he could reach. He nosed against her ear, another happy rumble leaving him as his lips parted to nibble on her ear lobe.  _ Yes, that is very satisfying,  _ whispered through his mind at the smooth texture of skin beneath his tongue and between his teeth. __

As he started nibbling at her, Daiyu had to fight a whimper from escaping. Heat bloomed in her gut and settled low. 

Intent on learning how the rest of her tasted, Adrian’s mouth began to wander, leaving kitten-licks, soft kisses, and the scrape of fangs in its wake. 

Daiyu tried to focus on something else, but it was futile. He’d started moving down her neck and she couldn’t help the quiet, constrained moan that escaped past her lips.

Alucard answered her with a softly carnal growl before opening his mouth, the heat of his breath the only warning Daiyu received before he latched onto the skin at the base of her neck. The wordless exclamation that she released sank into where his consciousness had been lurking behind the cover of sleep and yanked. Alucard’s eyes snapped open, frame going stiff as he realized that he had her flesh captured between his teeth. 

He haltingly dropped his jaw open, pulling back to wince at the imprint of fangs against her skin. “I’m sorry—” the rest of his words caught in his throat, the rasp of his voice startling him. He cleared his throat. 

As soon as he bit her neck, the heat she had been feeling in her gut coiled tight. When he released her neck and pulled back, she felt a mixture of disappointment and relief. Hearing his apology, sorrow bloomed in her chest. This wasn’t his fault. He’d been somewhere between sleep and reality. She had been the one to  _ pull _ him on top of her. 

She tightened her hold on his hand. “You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

At the sound of her voice, the events of the day before crashed through him. As he slowly drew away from the shores of sleep, he became aware of two very different kinds of pain. His head pulsed dully from the alcohol he’d consumed in an attempt to hide from his actions. He was certain he would be dealing with something much worse than a light headache if Daiyu hadn’t had the graciousness to provide him with that Hangover Tea. 

More than the headache, he was finding it nigh impossible to ignore how painfully hard he was at this point, the evidence of his arousal trapped between Daiyu’s and his hips. His breath was uneven as he breathed in—and promptly choked on the desire tinting the air. But underneath the heavy want, there were also threads of despondency. In the corner of his mind that wasn’t very preoccupied with the reality of being entangled with Daiyu, understanding flashed through him. Wanting to share a passionate kiss and being woken by the evidence of your partner’s arousal were two very different things. More so when your heart still longed for another. 

Alucard looked back at the angry twin imprints dotting her neck and grimaced. Very carefully, he moved to release her leg in an attempt to create some distance between their hips—already missing the press of her thigh against his. 

“Whereas I can assure you it was not a conscious decision, I believe I have an abundance to apologize for at the moment.” He moved to brush his fingertips over the bite, freezing at the responding tug indicative of being restricted. On re-discovering that both of his hands were currently occupied, he settled for ghosting a kiss over the marks on her neck. “I’m afraid that’s going to bruise.” 

When Alucard moved to put distance between them, Daiyu had to stop herself from following after him. She longed for the contact they had been sharing. Realizing what she had been about to do, guilt coursed through her. How could she be so shameless? Clenching his hand to her chest, she closed her eyes and took a deep, shaking breath. Each time her mind started to slow down, images from the night before flashed in her mind and new waves of mortification and disappointment floated to the surface.

She had trained her  _ entire _ life in self discipline, abstinence, patience, and  _ respect. _ Yet, here she was, forcing her childhood friend to sleep next to her to fill her desires. The memory of him asking repeatedly if she really wanted him to stay with her and then even trying to pull away brought on a particularly strong barb of embarrassment. 

Bowing her head toward their intertwined hands, she let out a self-deprecating huff. He was too kind. Every time she asked him for something, he gave it to her. No matter what emotions rolled off of him. 

As he apologized again, irritation crept to the front then ebbed away as his lips brushed over her neck. A shiver ran through her. “The bruise doesn’t bother me. Please don’t apologize—you haven’t done anything wrong.”

Alucard swallowed hard, his thoughts at war as he carefully categorized the various emotions rolling off of her. She was embarrassed—there was regret there as well—but she still kept his hand clutched tight to her chest, fingers securely intertwined. He tried not to think of the soft curves pillowing their hands. Surely, if she was feeling such emotions from their actions by the river and the subsequent events of their waking moments, she would have at the very least let go of him. He would have even been understanding if she’d vaulted from the bed upon waking to find him so thoroughly compromised by her mere proximity. 

He shifted, attempting to find a more comfortable position, before repeating his request from the night before, “Tell me what you’re thinking?”

She took a long deep breath, then let it out slowly. “That I am deplorable.” A low, warning growl broke out behind her. Other than the shiver of arousal that ran down her spine, she didn’t acknowledge it. “Last night you were only trying to help me, even though you were struggling. You were struggling, and instead of being considerate, I forced you to be where you didn’t want to be. I’m embarrassed and ashamed because I did what I told myself I wouldn’t. Instead of hearing and respecting you, I allowed myself to use you without consideration for what position it would put you in.” She took a breath, “I’m sorry,” and loosened her vice-like grip on his hand, but didn’t pull away. 

There was a beat of silence before Alucard said in a measured tone, “Have you said all that you feel you need to?”

She considered his question, the emotions she had mentioned washing over her. “Yes.”

Alucard gently pulled his hand from her grasp before sitting up to slip his other arm from where it had been pillowing her head. “Thank you for telling me.”

As he pulled away, she was torn between wanting him to stay or running. The only movement she made was to bring her other hand to her chest.

He threw the duvet off of them in one fluid wave of fabric, hardly noticing the brisk morning air that rushed in at the movement. Alucard moved over her—knees and hands trapping her beneath him. 

He used that controlled tone once more to call down to where she was still laying on her side, hands curled into her chest, “Look at me, Daiyu.” When she didn’t immediately respond, he added softly, “Please.”

A chill ran up her spine as he threw the covers off, followed by a shock as he placed himself over her. Before he said anything, she knew she had to face him. But she wished she could compose herself first. What she had shared with him was already starting to leave its own kind of humiliation. At his soft plea, she allowed herself one breath before she turned, opening her eyes to look up at him.

His expression was stern, but he gave her a slight smile as she rolled her shoulder back, torso twisting so she could grant his request. Alucard murmured a quick, “Thank you,” before taking a deep breath and continuing with a voice dark with desire, “Does any part of me look like I don’t want to be in your bed right now? I hesitated to join you last night because I didn’t trust myself to lay beside you without disrespecting you to the point of taking your choice from you. If you are to deem yourself a deplorable individual, then you will need to be prepared to allow me to carry the title alongside you.” 

Her dark eyes searched his face as she spoke, “That’s what I should have respected—I knew you’d had too much to drink, and then I  _ fell _ out of the sky. I saw the fear on your face just before I blacked out.” She paused, struggling to articulate what she wanted. That moment had been a catalyst., shifting her perspective on what really mattered. “I should have been more aware of what you were going through. You speak of taking my choice from me, but I feel that is precisely what I did to you.” 

“You didn’t take my choice from me, you gave me the opportunity to be weak.” He lifted a hand to brush the backs of his fingers along the slope of her jaw. “Whereas I do appreciate your sentiment, you know there are few who can confine me to a space when I am unwilling.”

He paused, watching his fingers brush over her skin once more with intent focus. He murmured a thoughtful, “If we are both so determined to respect the other, we won’t get anywhere. . .” 

His expression stilled as he considered his next words. What he wanted to say to her, it could backfire on him brilliantly—or it could finally be enough to convince her of his words. In the end, he decided to take that risk, giving her a salacious smirk with his fangs on full display, eyebrows raised in challenge. “How deplorable are you willing to be, Daiyu?”

Instead of trying to put thoughts or ideas on to him, she wanted to hear what he desired. Reaching up, she brushed her fingers over his cheek, a smile playing over her features, “What did you have in mind?”

_ Ravishing.  _ A fang dug into his bottom lip as he fought to find some sort of middle ground between what she’d said about wanting that kiss at the river and what his desire was pushing him towards. Finally, he moved his hand from her face to settle on her waist once more, thumb brushing over the bottom of her rib cage with heavy intent. 

“You said to me,” he began slowly, his voice steady despite the low growl it had descended into, “at the river last night, that you had wanted that. Have you thought of me like this before, Daiyu? Would you tell me about it? Where you’ve imagined me touching you—doing to you?” 

A part of her wanted to sink through the floor at his questions. In the past few moments alone, her mind and body had offered a plethora of things she would like to do with him—to him. But there was another part of her that was still in shock at how quickly her view of him had changed. There was an intensity in his gaze that captivated her. It held a promise burning there she felt could move a mountain. She knew it could hurt one or both of them, but she couldn’t bring herself to want to leave. 

She turned to lay on her back, facing him completely. “Before yesterday, I never allowed myself to dwell on such emotions and desires for you. Looking back, there were times when I did start to feel or think a certain way about you, but stamped it down. My father had told me, such desires and thoughts were the pinnacle of temptation and to expel any such thing from my mind and body.” She brushed her fingers up to push through his hair. “After coming back, I’m finally starting to understand what he’d meant about those temptations.”

It made entirely too much sense that her father was responsible for Alucard not having been allowed the privilege of knowing how she would mewl if he managed to touch her just  _ so _ . The bitter slight was dispelled by the feeling of her fingers in his hair. His stomach churned with a hunger demanding he put his teeth on her once more. She’d moaned so sweetly for him when his mouth had brushed over the space behind her ear. He wondered if he could pull the sound from her again. 

He could accept that she hadn’t thought of him in such a light before—despite the sullen disappointment settling like a pit in his gut. But clearly, she had her own ideas of what she wanted from him; the prick of interest in the air in response to his questions hadn’t gone unnoticed. 

“And what temptations are those, Daiyu?” he prompted, his hand dragging up her side, thumb settling just below the swell of her breast. He leaned down, breaking eye contact with her just long enough to murmur, breath hot against her ear, “How can I tempt you, Daiyu?” 

Her breath caught in her throat as her hand in his hair tightened. “Uhm—I—” She had to swallow before trying to speak again. She turned her head to study his arm next to her head. “You’re already tempting me.” His gaze was fire, and she felt if she looked for too long, she might start burning.

Smug victory blazed through him at her words, but he needed to see her—needed to be able to feel the longing echoing back to him from her gaze. “Look at me, Daiyu,” he reminded her, his voice a whisper of pure sin as he stroked his thumb along her rib cage, tantalizingly close to the curves he’d had the pleasure of being introduced to that morning. Right over where he knew a scar would still be marking her skin. 

She closed her eyes as he moved his thumb over her ribs. A shudder coursed through her. She loosed the grip in his hair, moving her hand to rest at the nape of his neck. Simultaneously bending one leg to bring her knee up to brush against the outside of his hip. Taking a couple shallow breaths, then one that was deeper, she turned her head back and opened her eyes.

Alucard gave her a smile filled with awe and excitement and desire. She had moved to touch him.  _ She  _ had moved to touch  _ him.  _ It was all at once more than he’d ever had the audacity to hope for and not enough. But her gaze was steady and there was a hand playing in the fine hair at the nape of his neck. So he tilted his head to thank her once more, a heated breath against the inside of her arm before he left a light kiss there, maintaining that hard-earned eye contact. 

She graced him with the sight of her capturing her bottom lip between her teeth—for just a moment before she remembered to release the soft skin. And then he was remembering what it was like to have her lip captured between his own teeth and a ravenous groan escaped him. He slowly lowered to his elbow, watching the way her expression changed as he drew closer, his knees sliding along the bedding until he was close enough to feel the heat rolling off of her in pulses. 

Alucard paused, his mouth hovering close enough to feel her accelerated breaths brush over his lips. “Will you kiss me, Daiyu?” 

His proximity and the growl in his voice were too much. The part of her that had been deliberating about if what she was feeling for him was sincere, went quiet. Tilting her head slightly to the side, she tightened her grip on the back of his neck, pulling him down to her to catch his lips with her own. After a moment, she parted her lips and nibbled at his bottom lip. Tasting him there, she had a flare of desire to learn what more of him tasted like. 

Elation shot through him as she pulled him down for a kiss.  _ What do you know, false confidence can pay off,  _ he thought distractedly as her teeth nipped at his lip. A rumble pushed out of his chest at the contact. She’d done that last night, too. He wondered if she enjoyed the taste of him as much as he was intoxicated by the taste of her. Whatever the reason, he only hoped that she wouldn’t stop. His grip along her rib cage tightened fractionally as he slotted a knee between her legs.

Pure energy shocked her wherever they touched and coursed through her body. Getting lost in the moment, Daiyu reached her hand that wasn’t already in his hair up to brush over his shoulder and down his back. Even though he was being so gentle, she could feel the muscles rippling as she moved her hand. Wanting to deepen their kiss, she slipped her tongue out to run the tip of it over his lips. 

He moaned against her mouth as her exploratory touch unashamedly roved over his body—tracing over the lines of muscle in his back.  _ Harder.  _ He was so lost in the feel of her that he wasn’t certain if he actually voiced the desperate plea or if he’d just thought it, but then she was digging her nails into the muscle over his shoulder blades. If Alucard hadn’t forgotten to breathe, he would have cried out at the sensation—the  _ knowledge _ —of Daiyu digging her nails into him. 

The woman he had pined after since he was old enough to recognize the pull within his chest as anything aside from familial affection—she had a knee settled outside his hip to allow the pressure of his thigh between her legs. The woman who had always believed in the good in him while acknowledging the accompanying darkness and pushing him to continually be better—her tongue was entangled with his. She breathed out a needy whine from her nose as his hand began to slowly stroke down her side and over her hip. He pulled back for a moment, finally gulping down a breath of air as he tried to process the reality of the woman beneath him—the enigma that was Daiyu. 

She gasped for air as he broke the kiss. Looking up, she met his piercing gaze and a shudder coursed through her. The thought danced in her mind that she quite liked this look on him. Hair tousled, lips swollen, eyes  _ burning _ . She felt like he was looking straight through to the center of her being. 

As she looked up at him, relief flooded her senses. A soft smile played across her lips. His weight was real. He was here. When she had heard rumors of his father, the fear that Adrian was no longer a part of the world had terrified her. 

Stretching up, she placed a gentle kiss at the corner of his mouth before allowing her head to fall back again. He had given so much. Been forced to carry burdens that no one should be made to carry. Yet, here he was. She focused on carding her fingers through his hair, reveling in the feel of it. 

Alucard’s eyes slid closed at the caress of her lips at the corner of his mouth, his breath shuddering out of him. His hand twitched toward the swell of her hips, but he kept his grasp firm, thumb circling over the jut of her hip bone. The tenderness in her gaze grounded him like nothing else could—he didn’t think that would ever change. Having regained some sense of self, when his eyes opened once more, adoration danced with the thirst flashing in his gaze. 

He returned her soft smile, tilting his head at her. “I’m assuming ravishing is still off the table?”

Her brow quirked up slightly at his question. “And you claim to need more self-control?”

Despite the hunger gnawing at his stomach and the arousal burning through him, he would not allow himself to take that choice from her. He would never move against her like that without explicit consent. The fear and devastation of the potential consequences was like a blanket over the fire of his desire. He couldn’t hurt her like that—he wouldn’t. 

“Some things are so important they transcend self-control,” Alucard answered even as he lowered his head to pepper kisses along the column of her neck, leading up to the soft spot behind her ear, intent upon hearing her voice again.

She opened her mouth to respond just as he nibbled at the skin behind her ear. In place of the words that had been on her tongue, she let out a soft moan, digging her fingers into his back and pulling his head to be closer with her other hand. Involuntarily, her leg pressed along the outside of his hip jerked against him.

A hiss escaped him at the contact. Everything happened in rapid succession with very little mental prompting after that. His mouth opened once more, fangs digging into the tendon at the corner of her jaw. A gasp tore past her lips. The hand he’d had on her hip moved to reclaim the grasp on her ass that he’d reluctantly extricated the night before. It was the shock of the instinctual rocking of his hips against hers that pulled him above the surface of lust. 

As his fangs sank into the skin below her ear, any semblance of remaining control shattered. It was unlike anything she had felt before—sending shocks through every part of her body. Yet, there was a part of her that wanted it to be harder. Bringing her hand up to his shoulder, she gripped it as she pressed her chest up against his. When his hips moved, her other leg jerked up so that he was now situated between her legs.

A hiss-turned-pant tore from him as her legs moved to bracket his hips and he was suddenly flush against the heat of her apex. His body jerked into rigid attention as he refused to grind into her, despite how willingly she had opened herself up to him. A breathless whine escaped past his locked jaw as her back arched to drag her chest against his, arousal prevalent enough in her for him to feel the unmistakable press of nipples through her monk’s garb.

He unlatched his mouth from her neck—not even bothering to check for the beginnings of a new bruise that would undoubtedly bloom under her skin—to rasp, “I need an answer.”

It took her a moment to realize that he had not only stopped moving, but that he had said something. What had he said? “. . . _ What _ ?” 

His mind went blank as he choked on the inhalation required to answer her. There was more than just emotional libido tinting the air now—she was wet. He dropped his head to nuzzle into a maple leaf inked into the skin above her collarbone with a wrecked whimper, unable to fight the urge to lave kitten-licks over the delicate curve of her clavicle. 

“Please, Daiyu, I need an answer. Do you want me to take you?”

She was trying to focus, but he was  _ licking _ her. “Take me where?”

A strangled snarl slipped past him, head whipping up to give her a look full of helpless desperation. _ “Do you want me to fuck you, Daiyu?” _

He immediately regretted drawing back to look at her. She was temptation personified. Her lips were kiss-bruised, eyes heavily lidded. Her chest heaved in short pants—the gray shoulders of her robe slipped off of her shoulders to rest against her biceps—each breath brushing the swell of her breasts against him. Alucard minutely shifted in a vain attempt to find a breath of relief to call him back to his senses. Daiyu reflexively dug her nails into the ball of his shoulder as she arched into him again, eyes clenching tightly closed in a picture of ecstasy. 

Alucard dropped his head back into her collarbone.  _ She’s going to be the death of me.  _ “Please, Daiyu, I need an answer.” He was too far gone to be able to even summon a shred of shame at the wrecked, begging notes in his tone.

Taking a few panting breaths, Daiyu battled between her desire and the small voice in her head that  _ begged _ her to listen to what she had scented on him a few moments earlier. “What are you afraid of?”

Alucard blinked into her skin in confusion, immediately discarding the hopeful thought that she had meant the words as assent. He was afraid? He wasn’t feeling much more than the overwhelming need to see what it would feel like to have her skin dragging against his own, but he knew she wouldn’t have asked without reason. When would he have been feeling fear? Despite his reluctance to subject himself to the  _ vision  _ that she was with the mark of his fangs on her skin—Alucard summoned his self control and pulled back to lock his gaze on hers. As gold met honey-brown, everything snapped into sharp focus—why he hadn’t torn her clothes from her shoulders to sink into her, why he had been waiting for her words of consent.

“Losing you,” Alucard answered, his voice raw in its vulnerability.

At his tender admission, her breath caught in her throat. 

A flash of color amongst the warm hues of maple leaves peeking over her shoulders drew his gaze. He stiffened as he found the snake that had rendered his sword familiar little more than a decorative piece of family history staring up at him from her skin. It’s tongue flicked out at him before it opened its mouth in a silent hiss. 

Alucard blinked at the image in incredulous confusion. “Though, your tattoo is coming in as a close second.”

She hadn’t even considered the snake, but he was clearly unsure what to do about it. “You’re afraid of my tattoo?”

He swallowed hard, pulling his gaze away from the serpent to give her a coy smile. “I think if I bite you again, it may very well bite back.”

A corner of her mouth pulled up. “I hadn’t considered that.”

He was slightly taken aback by her teasing words matched with the heat still smouldering in her gaze. Alucard swallowed, his desire momentarily pulling his mind away from the image of the snake’s flashing fangs. He leaned down to brush his nose against hers. “If something is going to bite me back, I’d prefer it to be you. Not your tattoo.”

As he drew closer to her, she wanted to close the remaining distance between them and get lost in the moment with him, but she didn’t know if the tattoo would  _ actually _ do something. This pulled her back to slightly more rational thought.

_ If something did happen and Adrian got hurt, I would never forgive myself.  _

She closed her eyes and let out a noise of frustration, “I don’t want to, but we need to wait.”

Alucard stiffened. He half-heartedly hoped she was referring to the tantalizing idea of her biting him instead of the actual act of fucking. “Wait for what, exactly?”

“For me to figure out the abilities of my tattoo,” she said in a plaintive whine.

Her whine shot through him, playing along his nerves like electricity. His mouth was dry as he responded, “Well, experience is said to be the best teacher.”

Opening her eyes, she fixed him with a furious glare. “I will  _ not  _ risk hurting you.”

He looked away, returning the glower the serpent peeking over her shoulder was still giving him. Alucard attempted, rather unsuccessfully, to convince himself to not be even further aroused by the glint in her eyes and the rough purr of her voice. Reluctantly resigned to his fate, he ground out, “If that is your wish, I will respect it.”

Disappointment and logic pushed through the desire that had consumed her. She needed to figure out all of the changes that were happening within her. No matter how much he was tempting her, the unknown of her abilities and what they might do, wasn’t something to disregard lightly. Her fall from the night before flashed through her mind.

Even so, she didn’t want to leave him wondering where she stood concerning their current position. With how much they had been misunderstanding each other, she wanted to clarify. Even though she knew it wasn’t going to make it any less disappointing, for either of them. “Adrian, I want to, but the thought of possibly putting you in danger terrifies me.”

Alucard sighed through his nose, long and deep. He seriously doubted a creature existed that would be able to deal enough damage to be deemed a danger to him. But then, Daiyu was proving to falsify that very thought with each breath that pushed her against him.  _ She will absolutely be the death of me.  _ He could only manage a tired nod in response to that as he removed his hand from her ass cheek, bringing his arm up beside her head to balance his weight between both elbows. 

As he moved his hand she adjusted her foot to compensate for the change of his position. 

The slight shift of her foot slid her thigh against the outside of his hip, only serving to open her legs even wider, snugly fitting his hips against her center. His eyes snapped open, a ragged gasp tearing from him seconds before he growled, lips raised to display his fangs threateningly, “ _ Don’t fucking move!”  _ At the shock on her face, he closed his eyes and let out a strangled, “Please.”

Daiyu froze. She forced herself to take in even breaths, which was torture. The scent coming off of him was rapidly clouding her mind again, but she didn’t allow herself to move. He was fighting hard to respect her request. The thought of moving her hands, so they were no longer gripping him, flitted through her mind, but he had been  _ very _ clear.

Alucard let out a shuddering breath, guilt and mortification coursing their bitter path through him. Regardless of the part she took in getting him to this painful point of arousal, he was still able to recognize she wasn’t  _ intentionally  _ trying to key him up higher. He sagged between his shoulders, intent on taking deep breaths to still the pulse thrumming through him—but choked once more on the scent of her wetness. He cast about wildly for something to distract him from how badly he wanted her. 

“Tell me about your tattoo,” Alucard blurted. 

At his request, Daiyu’s stomach dropped in dread.  _ Of all the things? At this time? In this position? Why? _ She cast about in her mind for a minimally damaging way to answer his request. “It is imbued with chi. It’s always had a lifelike appearance, but before my arrival here it had never come off my skin.”

He gave a short nod of encouragement. “Why maple leaves and a serpent? For you to permanently put it on your skin, I’m certain they carry some significance.”

This was a question she felt she could answer, without further compromising either of them. “The maple leaves symbolize the passing of time, like leaves in the wind. The snake is for protection, good luck, and change.” 

“Well it does certainly seem intent on protecting you from. . . various things.” Alucard grumbled before a thought occurred to him. His voice was soft when he continued, “Though, it did prevent me from stabbing you when I first saw you. For that, I will be forever grateful to it.”

Daiyu hummed in agreement. She was grateful that his irritation, at least toward the snake, was ebbing off a little.  _ Until he finds out how and from whom I got it _ . 

Wanting to navigate away from their current topic, she tried to think of something else. “How bad is your headache?”

His eyes blinked open at her question. He’d been so thoroughly distracted by the sequence of events leading to their current predicament that he hadn’t considered the headache. He looked up in quiet contemplation, gauging the low pulse of pain in his skull. “Hardly noticeable. Your teas truly are a work of magic. When did you learn that particular brew?”

“I’m glad it’s helped. I learned it from an old pirate who loved to tell long stories.”

Alucard snorted at that. 

She took a steadying breath. “Would you like some more?”

Alucard quietly considered her offer. Desire had become more of a low smoulder in the back of his mind instead of the inferno he’d been lost to previously. He took a steadying breath before splaying his hands out in preparation to move. In one decisive shift, he pulled a knee up and rose up onto his hands. Before his mind could focus too heavily on the heat now enveloping his knee, Alucard flopped onto his back beside Daiyu. 

“I would love some more.” His voice was flat, but he was finding it difficult to really care about that at this point. He snatched a pillow, resolutely moving it to cover his groin.

As he moved, her control to  _ not _ move almost shattered as his knee pressed against her. Once he was settled next to her, she took a moment, then sat up. “Would you rather drink it here, or at the castle?” She could feel the cool breeze across the back of her shoulders, and she hoped he wasn’t looking as she pulled her robes back up to cover them.

Alucard didn’t have enough presence of mind to stifle the groan that watching her pull the monk’s garb back over her shoulder dragged from him. Logic reasoned that watching her  _ put on  _ clothes should not be a turn-on for him. The responding twitch of interest under the pillow argued that he'd never had the pleasure of seeing her naked back before. Her neck arched delicately, thin fingers splayed sensuously as she stroked the gray fabric over the lean lines of muscle in her bicep and shoulder. He could do nothing but watch, entranced, from where his head was lolling against his pillow. 

Hearing the sound that dragged from him, she knew if she looked at him, all remnants of her fragmented self control would crumble. She tried to take a calming breath, only to be reminded why  _ that _ wasn’t a good idea. Mid breath, she froze. She tried to watch the light filtering through the leaves, but she couldn’t focus enough to see it.

As he belatedly recognized the expectant silence indicating that he needed to answer her inquiry, he ground out, “The castle.” 

She was starting to get uncomfortable from lack of air when he responded. She nodded her head in acknowledgement. “I’ll go prepare it for you.” She rose, grabbing a small sack, and moved toward the exit. She didn’t look at him as she gathered what she needed, keeping a determined focus on her task. Just before jumping down, she paused. “You can come down whenever you’re ready.”

His gaze dragged down her body as she stood and swung out of the parting vines. He now knew  _ exactly  _ the weight and feel of that ass. Could recall the wanton moan that would slip past those carefully controlled lips of hers. She was always so quiet—all of her thoughts conveyed with a knowing smile and measured tone. He absently wondered if she would scream if he sank his fangs into that firm curve of muscle. 

With a low sound of exasperation, Alucard threw the pillow off his lap. This was not helping. He needed to get back to the castle. The displaced air wafting from the pillow carried a mixed swirl of their arousal delectable enough to make his mouth water, his fangs ache, and his gut clench. He immediately stilled the breath in his chest. He needed to get to the castle. Now. And take a very long, very  _ private _ bath. 

Alucard slid a knee up in preparation to stand and hissed at the tight, stretching pressure of his pants over his hips. His brows furrowed—there was only one plausible solution to his current predicament. He rolled onto his side, letting his transformation flow through him. The relief was immediate, but momentary. Nevertheless, he believed he would at least be able to make it back to the castle. 

Alucard hesitantly poked his head outside of the nest, gaze roving over the camp in search of the one whose scent sang a siren’s song to his frayed restraint. Daiyu was sitting by the river, one leg crossed over the other, head tilted to the side in concentration as she organized the tea leaves into small squares of perforated sheets that she carefully folded and placed in the sack she had grabbed before leaving him in the bed. For a moment, he just let the breeze comb through his fur as he watched her. She was so beautiful it hurt. 

_ Castle. Bath.  _ Alucard shook himself slightly before leaping down to finally approach her, ears cocked in a sheepish display of discomfort. 

Daiyu glanced up from her work momentarily. “Pants too much?”

His head sank between his shoulders, ears flicking back as he looked away with a low whine. 

An apologetic smile crossed her features. “You only need one pouch per cup. Steep them in hot water for five minutes and add honey to taste.” She tied the sack shut and held it out to him without making eye contact. 

Alucard stepped forward, stretching out to gingerly take the pouch from her outstretched hand. He turned toward the castle before hesitating. She’d been exposed to more than she should have had to deal with in a very short amount of time—not including her having been pressed against him enough times when he was aroused to have extinguished any prior need for imagination. And he’d snarled at her with enough menace to make her all but stop breathing. 

He drooped. It was laughable that she thought, between the two of them,  _ she  _ was deplorable. Alucard carefully placed the sack on a rock, turning back to bump his muzzle against her elbow before giving her a quick lick against her forearm, hoping to convey thanks and apology all at once. 

Daiyu was so focused on maintaining an appearance of composure and calm that she didn’t realize what he was doing. When he bumped and licked her, she flinched at the unexpected contact. Turning her head slowly, she met his concerned eyes. 

_ Don’t look at me like that! _

She held his gaze, slowly lifting a single brow, “Yes?”

His ears swiveled out to the side, head drifting away. It seemed she hadn’t quite picked up on what he was hoping to communicate.  _ Why is Diana so much better at this?  _ He gave a sigh, turning back to bump her with his nose once more before walking away to loop the drawstrings of the sack over his lower mandible. He took a few slow steps away from her—still trying to think of a way to transmit his message—before resigning himself to his fate and loping toward the castle. 

As he started to move away, she scrambled for something to say. She was sure he’d been trying to convey a particular message with his bumps, but he wasn’t a wolf by nature. He was a few paces away when she murmured, “Thank you—for everything.”

Alucard skidded to a stop, whipping around to give her an incredulous look, before shaking his head, and running faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed that bit of /almost/ smut! We'll get there sooner rather than later, we promise! But, next chapter is another healing chapter. Strap in for a strong dose of healing fluff! See you next Wednesday! (Happy Thanksgiving for any US folks!)


	10. The After-Math

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daiyu takes the time to clear the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update this week, it's been pretty hectic! Anyway, it is that time again: TRIGGER WARNING. There is referenced trauma in this chapter and some toxic coping mechanisms mentioned. Once again, please take care of yourselves! This is a healing fic, but part of that is definitely airing out the dark stuff.

Alucard reclined against the foot of the bathtub, vacantly gazing up at the shower head. He had almost fucked Daiyu.  _ He  _ had almost  _ fucked Daiyu _ **_._ ** No matter how many times his mind doubled back to revisit the concept, he still wasn’t fully able to grasp it as reality. But he was now on his third refilling of the tub and could still detect subtle notes of her scent. 

Or perhaps that was just coming from where he’d practically ripped off his pants. The back of his head hit the lip of the tub with a long sigh. He wasn’t sure he would ever be able to wear those pants again. 

His mind drifted in a contented haze as his eyes traveled over the detail along the vaulted ceiling. He had bitten her. Twice. And how he would love to do so again. He pushed out a steadying breath from his nose. He would very soon be on his fourth refilling of the tub if he didn’t steer his thoughts elsewhere. 

He absently flicked a finger towards the window, hoping some fresh air would help clear his mind. The bitter tang of magic electrified the air as the pane obediently swung open.

Though some of the events from the night prior were rendered spotty, as alcohol usually does, the memories that remained unaltered cut the deepest. The look in her eyes as she’d gingerly brushed her fingertips over the weeping grooves in his skin. The way her face had crumpled in the preparation of tears. The sound of his very soul  _ screaming  _ as she plummeted passed him. 

_ Falling.  _

_ Falling.  _

_ Falling. . . _

A sharp breath left him and he shifted uncomfortably at the memory—body flashing in cold terror despite the steam curling off of the water. He would never forget that moment. All the light and color had snapped away from him at the mere thought of watching her die. What would have become of him if he hadn’t been able to catch her in time—if he had been left to cradle her broken, lifeless form?

In a decisive moment of all-consuming, full-body rejection of the thought, Alucard tucked his knees and plunged under the water. The muted fuzz in his ears was reminiscent of the bone-chilling silence that had roared around him as he dove after her. That moment would haunt him. He was certain it was only a matter of time before the rendering of her prone form would be what tore him from the few hours of sleep his body demanded of him. 

He realized with a jolt that popped his head above the surface once more—he’d had two night’s sleep now. Two uninterrupted, blissful night’s sleep. Though he refused to entertain the thought of sharing Daiyu’s bed with her again, he idly wondered if Diana would be interested in another dogpile. 

Alucard pushed the thought away with a frown. Regardless of her insistence, her pack would always be the loud Roman—and she needed Diana. He had earned his sleepless nights of reminiscent terror and agony. 

_ When you hurt yourself, you hurt me.  _

Daiyu’s words came back to him from the night before, a balm over the ache in his chest. He would never be worthy of her. Despite that knowledge, he only felt overwhelming gratitude and adoration. He would never be worthy of her, but she’d still come back for him—still was so attentive to guarding him from his own self-destructive tendencies. Alucard didn’t believe in theological practices, but if he did, he would worship Daiyu. 

_ Oh, how I would worship Daiyu. . .  _

And she’d thought to ask him if he hated her—not once, but  _ twice.  _ An incredulous scoff pushed past him. In that respect, at least, she had earned the pinprick bruises that would now mark her skin. 

A low groan escaped him. Carefully steering his thoughts back from their deviant ways, Alucard dutifully worked to address the confiding words she had offered him by the river. That had been the first time she’d ever admitted to feeling anything more than platonic affection for him. An admittance that he had pulled from her once more that very morning. He now finally had a name to blame that wasn’t his own for the damnable distance that he’d never been able to breach. Still, he couldn’t quite find it in himself to blame her father. A smug smile pulled his gaze back to the ceiling. And in the end, she had made the decision to pull away from that lifestyle and come back to  _ him _ . 

_ I met someone during that time. They changed the way I looked at the world, showed me things I had never imagined. _

His expression descended into a thoughtful glower once more. Jealousy raged within him. She’d met someone on the ships. Hearing her words had only confirmed his suspicions and served to pour fuel down his throat to stoke the flame of envy that clawed at his gut. He didn’t want to imagine how he had changed her world—what this nameless pirate had showed her. But that didn’t stop his mind from jumping through scenarios of Daiyu enveloped in arms decorated to match the ink that now flowed over her shoulders. How she must have trusted him, cared for him, to allow herself to be that openly vulnerable and reckless. 

But he’d left—sacrificed himself. The thought stilled the snarl on Alucard’s lips. Had she not told her pirate she was going to be coming back for him? No, Daiyu wouldn’t withhold such information from someone she had so intimately tied herself to. This nameless man had known that she was coming back for another, and he had let her go—he had  _ helped  _ her be free. 

The knowledge was a knife in his gut, twisting tighter with each breath. All at once, he understood all too well why Daiyu would believe she’d be using him to forget another. He was a mere shadow of the man she’d lost on her travels. To be able to hold  _ Daiyu,  _ to have earned a place at her side, and be willing to let it all go to help her fulfill what she deemed to be right. . . He was finally able to comprehend why she had looked into the flames with a face that looked like he had felt when he’d seen her tumbling through the sky. 

And yet, when Alucard had opened his arms for her, she had wordlessly fallen into his embrace once more. He couldn’t help but wonder, with each drag of her lips over his, had she been thinking of her pirate? Each sound of pleasure Alucard had pulled from her and prized—had she been wishing it was another’s hands on her hips—mouth on her skin? 

Did he care?

Not at all. If he could be the one to pull her from that place of hopeless desolation, he would put aside the misery that twinged through him. If allowing her to find the one she had lost in the throws of passion would help her find her light, he would tempt her again and again. Even if each gasp, moan, and expression of ecstasy was meant for another, he would help her find that release. He would always come when she called. 

A knuckle found its way between his teeth as he sank into the water, her words filtering through the memories of her body moving in his lap—captured beneath his hips. 

_ I’m embarrassed and ashamed because I did what I told myself I wouldn’t.  _

He would help her forget her shame—would stroke her until she could think of nothing but the need to chase her own pleasure. 

_ I don’t want to, but we need to wait. _

_ Adrian, I want to, but the thought of possibly putting you in danger terrifies me. _

Even if she had never loved him, he was able to move her—slip passed her defenses. He would use that, he would remind her of everything she would never be able to have with her pirate, and he would let her have her way with him. 

_ Thank you—for everything. _

He’d done nothing worthy of her thanks, but he certainly hoped to earn her thanks if he caressed her enough to coax them out of her. 

A helpless moan ghosted over his knuckle as he bit down hard enough for the acrid, bitter taste of his blood to bloom against his tongue—wishing it was her skin between his teeth. He resigned himself to having to replace the bath water once more. 

* * *

Daiyu waited until the sound of Alucard’s padding paws faded away before moving. Slowly, she started gathering her things. A part of her was disgruntled that she had left her tea pot out overnight. Pausing, she looked over at the rock where she had waited for Alucard the night before. Images flashed through her mind and she stood up abruptly. 

Striding back to the tree, she vaulted up, stepped through the opening, and lurched to a stop. The  _ entire _ space  _ reeked _ of their mixed arousal. Glaring at the rumpled pile of bedding, she placed her tea set where it belonged and approached the offensive mound.

_ “ _ You all need to get aired out.”

She took the blankets and pillows out in a few loads, breathing sparingly. It took longer than it should have, spreading the comforters over branches mid way up a few trees to afford maximal exposure to sunlight and fresh air. Once she was finished, she looked up at her work. There was one pillow perched on the highest branch she had been able to climb to. She wasn’t sure it was going to survive to another use.

Once all the bedding was situated in the trees, she washed quickly in the river, using a clay scrub infused with herbs, hinoki, and honey. The frigid water helped clear her mind and keep it from wandering. 

Pulling on closefitting dark pants, she considered all that had happened over the past month and where she needed to start. A part of her wanted to analyze everything that had happened over the past day, but she was afraid of the answer she might find. With that answer would come life- altering changes for her relationship with Adrian.

Deftly wrapping binding around her chest, her thoughts turned to the loss of Kinari. She paused, the pain of her loss still ached in her, but it was as if a small part of it had released and she might not drown if she tried to face it. She furrowed her brow as she tied a knot in the front of her binding, and considered what had changed. 

The memory of her speaking with Nelika and briefly sharing with Adrian what had happened over the past three years played in her mind. Nelika had been just what she needed. Letting her share nuances about her relationship, but in the end focusing on what would be most helpful moving forward.

Though she had sensed Adrian was furious at some points of her story, in the end, he had still welcomed her back. He hadn’t even hesitated. In that moment, when he had gently touched her arm, there had been nothing but concern and consideration. 

She grabbed a light colored tunic, pulling it over her head. More than anything, it was the fact that she had been able to speak about what had happened that had helped. While the pain had been acute, she had been able to share some parts. It wasn’t much, but it had been something.

Smoothing the tunic so the one long side hit mid thigh, she grabbed a muted dark green sleeveless robe and slipped it on. Wrapping it around her torso, she secured it in place with a wide leather belt.

Returning to the nest, she grabbed a tool pouch before ducking out into the sunlight. Once on the ground, she took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the crisp autumn air, and walked over to the river bank. She knew she had put this off for long enough. 

_ He always hated the idea of being kept where he didn’t want to be. _

Looking out at the forest, she decided an evergreen tree would be best for Kinari’s _sotoba_. She wouldn’t be staking it in the ground. No. He would want his spirit to be free to roam wherever the wind took it.

Closing her eyes, her memories drifted back to when she had shared stories with Kinari about Adrian. He had always gotten a knowing smile on his face and teased her that she didn’t actually know her own heart. She would disagree and he would just let it go, moving easily to another topic. 

Once, he had asked her what she would do if she met Adrian again. What would her response be? Now that she wasn’t devoutly following the monastic life, she couldn’t use it to parry his advances. She realized now, she hadn’t been able to give an actual answer. It had been excuses of not planning to go back. Dracula was there, why would they need her? Or, if they did meet again, Kinari would be there. She had still refused to acknowledge there might have always been something mutual between her and Alucard.

Her mind wandered to the events of the night before. They were blurry. Her short hours of sleep from the past month of strenuous travel, no sleep for the last few days as she’d pushed to make it in time, and all of the energy exhausted from her transformations, had left her running on little more than sheer willpower and spikes of adrenaline. Even through all of that, her body had known what she wanted in that moment when he had pulled her to him. She had wanted Adrian. The realization had jolted her enough, to remind her why—once he knew about what all she had shared with Kinari, he might not still want her. 

_ I’m in love with you, Daiyu—I’ve been in love with you since I was old enough to convince my father of the need to explain the difference between familial love and romantic love. Eros _ .

Remembering the last word sent a shiver down her spine, and heat bloomed low. His seemingly unflappable love for her made her feel even less worthy of it. Thinking about it now, she also felt a slice of guilt. She had been happy with her life on the ships, but there had always been a part of her that couldn’t forget her life and those she had left behind in Wallachia. 

Turning, she opened her eyes to glare down at the passing water. As if the night’s events weren’t enough, they had almost had sex. Right after waking up entangled in each other. If she hadn’t been afraid of what  _ might _ have happened, she would have said yes.

She let out an exasperated groan, crouching down and hiding her head in the crook of her elbows. Since he had kissed her in the grove, it was like her body and mind were working to cash in on years of neglect she had forced on them by  _ insisting _ that she had felt nothing but friendship toward Adrian. Her whole life was crumbling away, leaving her with what felt like nothing but a pile of rubble to throw at whatever fates had been involved as they laughed at her. 

_ Oh, how Nelika would laugh. _

Lifting her head, she rested her chin on the back of her joined hands. Everything about him had been perfection. His words and actions—they showed a deeper level of his affection. How he had  _ moved _ against her. . . She stood abruptly, and turned to walk back toward her abode. 

Steering her thoughts from the events of the morning, she focused on all the things Adrian had confided to her. The pain he had alluded to, that he seemed to believe he deserved it and more. 

Images of him crumpled on the floor, next to the desk they had used to compare their drawings as children, flashed through her mind. The self inflicted cuts on his arm etched over scars from others. A snarl crossed her expression at the thought of others purposely inflicting such injuries on him. The bodies at the door flashed across her mind, followed by the bloodied sheet in his room. She came to a stop, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as morbid realization dawned on her.

She had seen first-hand the aftermath of such acts. The victims always blamed themselves. Self-harming acts were also common. 

“Not just Nelika, but Adrian too!” Her voice was small and there was a slight quiver.

No wonder he had reacted so hostilely toward Nelika showing up at his door. 

It felt like her whole world was spinning out from under her.

_ How could someone as strong and capable as him be abused in such a way? _

Before she’d finished the thought, she had her answer. Because he had always been full of love, hope, and  _ trust. _

A growl broke through the morning air as she found herself in her beast form, tail lashing, wings half-spread in fury. The trees swayed as if there was a strong wind. 

Oh, how she wanted to burn those bodies.  _ Erase _ any evidence of their existence, but it wasn’t her choice to make. A hiss broke from her jaws as blue flames danced between her wings.

_ Use me. I wouldn’t expect any such thing from you— _

She went stock still and the trees stopped moving. Panic and fear coiling through her as her flames were extinguished. Had she used him? In every memory of each time they had held each other, kissed, moved against each other—she had only been thinking of Adrian. There had been no ghost of the past in those moments. Not from her. 

The thought of why he wouldn’t expect such things from her brought a taste of bile to her throat. Did he really feel he wasn’t good enough to expect something more than being used? Thinking back on her words when she had told him she had wanted what they were sharing, it hadn’t been clear _exactly_ what that was. A rumble worked its way up from her chest.

_ DIANA! _

Diana’s answering rumble sounded distinctly like a wince.  _ You are being so loud. Why did you transform again—is there a threat? _

Relief flooded Daiyu, she could hear her.  _ Now you know what it feels like. There’s no threat of harm for you and Nelika. I have a favor to ask. _

There was a brief moment of hesitation during which Daiyu assumed Diana would be communicating with Nelika. 

_ Nelika and I are on our way. _

_ Are you still close to the castle? _

_ No, we went for a run after Flat Tooth came back to the castle stinking like a pup in rut.  _

Daiyu let out a huff.  _ Could you get just close enough to relay a message to him? _

Diana voiced a distinctive growl through their connection at that.  _ Why? You are transformed, Nelika is concerned.  _

Of course Nelika would be concerned.  _ Please tell her there is no such thing to worry about. I am concerned for his well being. _

Diana hesitated before replying with a coy curl in her tone,  _ You scented him rather thoroughly and sent him back to the den to satisfy himself only to reach out to him later.  _

There was another prolonged pause. 

Daiyu sent an exasperated sigh through the connection as she waited. 

Diana rumbled, curt,  _ Nelika says we’ll go. What’s your message? _

_ Thank you. Both of you. Please tell him this: When you are ready, Daiyu would like to speak with you. _

Diana returned Daiyu’s exasperation, two-fold.  _ Nelika says: you’re certain you are not in danger?  _

_ I am certain. _

It was long enough to cause concern by the time Diana spoke to her mind again,  _ Your message has been relayed. Nelika is assuming you won’t want an audience for whatever reason you are calling him to you? _

_ Diana, this is something like what he shared with you in the den. _

_ Does he need the pack? _

_ Probably later, but not in this moment. _

A pause.  _ Nelika and I will be to the east. He left the castle a few moments ago.  _

_ You are both a gift.  _

_ Even gifts like to be praised,  _ Diana responded smugly. 

Daiyu laughed through the connection.  _ How about a hunt together? _

_ It only counts if it’s a prosperous hunt.  _

_ But of course. _

“Daiyu?”

Daiyu turned to look at him as the thought crossed her mind; she didn’t know how to transform back. A small, frustrated whine escaped her.

Alucard had been washing the soap out of his hair when Diana’s voice broke past the storm of his thoughts. Chagrin had filled him at Daiyu’s quiet request, but resignation had quickly followed. He’d hastily finished rinsing off before tossing on a simple white shirt and pants. He hadn’t had time to dry his hair and the water was steadily soaking through the neckline, turning the material into a second skin. 

He cocked his head at her, taking in her wings, tail, and the beak to go with it all. He let out a quiet laugh, remembering the times as a child when he’d gotten caught in his wolf transformation, forced to wander on four legs until he was able to muster his bipedal form. He stepped forward to place a hand on her cheek, unperturbed as he gazed into her amber eyes. “Well, the snake  _ is  _ off your skin. Should I congratulate you?”

She tilted her head to look at him. He thought she’d called him because of that? Her tail flicked from side to side and she let out a low growl.

His eyes strayed over her shoulder to watch her tail flick. He raised an eyebrow, giving her a sidelong glance. “You. . . don’t want to be praised?”

_ Yes, congratulations, I send cryptic messages when I think I’m being clear. _

_ That’s news to no one,  _ Diana responded dryly.

Daiyu let out a snarl,  _ Out!  _

_ Don’t talk to me if you don’t want me to respond!  _ Diana shot back. 

_ It’s called my thoughts. _

Alucard watched her eyes cloud as her tail twitched like a cat watching a prey just outside of their grasp. His chest twisted as he gazed down at her in silence, brushing a hand over the fur and soft down feathers around her face. “If only I had the skills Diana has,” he quietly mused. 

Her eyes refocused on him and she took a deep breath. She had no idea how to transform back. Thinking back on every other time, she searched for the answer. When she had been above the castle, it had been when she had reached what she considered balance. 

_ Ah, is that how it works? _

Alucard brushed a hand over the top of her head, idly wondering why she would have asked for him to see her if she was transformed, but not in danger. “Do you not know how to transform back? It’s okay, it takes some time.” He paused, trying to resist the smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “You actually have hair in this form.”

Daiyu turned to pin him with as scathing a look as she could muster, before flopping unceremoniously to the ground, placing her head on her paws. She had to readjust as a dew claw threatened to poke into her neck.

Alucard startled, blinking down at her for a moment before kneeling. His eyes were concerned as he soothingly scratched his nails over the pane of a shoulder blade, “Is there nothing I can do?”

Her eyelids half closed as his hand moved over her shoulder and she leaned slightly into his touch. She needed to find a way to calm down. She started taking deep measured breaths.

As his hand was stroking her fur, there was a slight movement as the snake moved to poke its head out, flicking its tongue at his hand.

Alucard’s gaze snapped over to appraise the snake. He looked back to Diayu’s closed eyes as she took deep breaths, holding them between the inhale and the exhale. She was obviously trying to find her ‘inner peace’. He silently hissed at the snake in warning—him fighting with ink that should be sedentary beneath her skin would  _ not  _ be helpful. 

The snake opened its mouth in an answering threat, then moved to lazily coil along her back.

Daiyu flicked an ear back and let out a low, whining growl. How was she supposed to focus, if he was having a cat fight with a tattoo?

Alucard frowned, but was adequately chided to reluctantly pull back from her. He stood with a sigh, walking to lean against a tree, folding his arms over his chest. He absently pulled against an errant curl. “I’ll wait.”

Daiyu’s only response was a particularly deep breath, before her breathing returned to the calming pattern. It took her a few minutes to start feeling she was gaining composure. She could smell all too well that he had indeed been cloaked in self loathing, anger, and other painful emotions. She reminded herself  _ not  _ to think about what she was hoping to say once she transformed back. 

Stilling her mind from all thought, she focused on the push and pull of breathing and the life she could feel around her. There was beauty and balance in all of it. After a few more deep breaths, she felt the shift coming and stood as she transformed back to her human form.

As he watched her withdraw to focus on her meditation, Alucard took his own deep breaths. Confusion, disappointment, and relief battled within him as he found nothing on the air but frustration, fury, and concern. Obviously, she had not called on him to address any of her base needs. But a voice of fear hissed through him—had she had enough time to herself to realize she wasn’t actually yearning for him? Had she called him to say she wanted nothing more to do with him? Would she leave him now? He could do nothing but watch in trepidation as her form shifted and her gaze settled on him.

A twinge of guilt crept in as Daiyu opened her eyes and saw him leaned against the tree. He had obviously been unprepared when he received her message. “Thank you for coming. Sorry to ask you to come and then not be able to communicate.”

“I’ll always come when you call for me,” Alucard answered almost reflexively. 

“Likewise,” she said with a nod. “I realized, there were some things I said before that could lead to gross misunderstandings and I don’t want that to happen.”

Alucard looked down at his boots. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me.”

She considered his form of retreat. “I would prefer not to leave it to chance.” Pausing, she took a deep breath. “Reflecting on it, I wanted to make sure you knew, you were the only one on my mind while we were together. When I said I wanted to, I meant I wanted to with  _ you.” _

Alucard froze. When she didn’t offer up any additional information, contradictions, or exceptions, his mind went back through her words. Still struggling to come to terms with what he knew to be the truth versus the words she gave him, he slowly lifted his gaze to her face. 

His expression and tone were carefully neutral as he simply asked, “What?”

She took in his rigid form. “I was concerned you might misunderstand and I didn’t want you thinking I had used you to think of someone else.”

At which point Alucard was certain his mind had completely ceased to function because his traitorous mouth responded, “You called me out here to tell me you want to fuck  _ me _ , not your pirate?”

Daiyu’s jaw tightened slightly at his bluntness as grief and pain twisted between her ribs. “That’s a way to put it.”

The tight scent of pain pulled him back and Alucard stepped forward, haltingly holding his hands out beside her biceps. “I’m sorry, I’m just having difficulties understanding. . .” he floundered, “any of this. If you don’t want me to, I will not speak of him again.”

“If you want to ask about him, you can,” her voice was quiet. “How else should I put it so you could understand? When I was with you, only thoughts of  _ you  _ were on my mind. And before you ask, no. I don’t regret the things we did.”

He blinked at her. He would assume that he was dreaming, but he knew his dreams weren’t such a kind place. She wanted him to believe that all of her thoughts and actions had been in response to him and what he had been doing? It was too much. It was enough to make him hope. 

Then he remembered his opened window—and her transformation. 

He pulled away. “You scented me, didn’t you? You do not need to lie to me, Daiyu. I remember your words from last night. You do not need to concern yourself, I will refrain from such acts.” 

“I would  _ never _ lie to you about something like this,” she said in a tortured whisper. “Which words are you referring to from last night?”

“‘You hurt yourself, you hurt me’.” He couldn’t help the self-deprecating curl of his lip at the words. He sighed, continuing more gently, “As I told you then, I won’t hurt you, Daiyu—no more than I already have. At least not intentionally. You do not need to concern yourself with what I may do if you don’t give me what I desire.”

She considered why he would mention that. “I didn’t scent you. If I had, I would have gone to you without hesitation.” Taking a calming breath, she continued, “How do you think you have hurt me?”

His brow furrowed in confusion. He was the one that had been inebriated. Why was he having to remind her of the night’s events? He wordlessly held out his left arm, pulling the sleeve up to display the scars that remained. 

Stepping forward, she gently wrapped her fingers around his wrist with one hand and lightly ran her fingertips over the scars. Slowly, she lifted her gaze to him, “I would rather share your pain.”

“I pray you never have to share my pain.” She was close to him now, far too close for him to mistake the pity that was rolling off of her. Daiyu had always been too clever to hide things from. Especially when he wasn’t completely devoted to concealing them from her. 

He searched her gaze, his voice a threadbare whisper, devoid of any harshness or conceit, “What do you think you know of my pain, Daiyu? What have you discerned?” 

She was terrified that he might actually run from her. The anguish at the thought threatened to burn a hole in her, but she would not lie to him. “Why the bodies are at your door, and why you keep your scars.”

He could only nod, eyes falling to where her fingertips rested against the twist of burns. “And yet, you want me to believe your words are founded on more than just pity?” Alucard finally looked up at her, gently extracting his wrist from her hands as he gave her a broken smile. 

She wanted to follow him, to  _ make _ him understand that she had meant every word, but she would not force herself on him. 

“I would never lie to you about this,” she repeated. “How can I help you believe me?”

“Show me.”

It was a simple thing—at least, it should have been. Even as he said it, he knew she wouldn’t. Daiyu wasn’t one to cover the pain with a temporary reprieve. That knowledge brought a small bit of comfort. And if she surprised him, if she allowed herself to be deplorable, Alucard would willingly allow the escape. There was no reality in which he would ever be able to deny her. But Alucard couldn’t hold her gaze because he could see there in the honey-warm depths, she knew those words weren’t right. It was what he said, but it wasn’t what he meant. 

_ I don’t know. I don’t know that I will be able to trust again.  _

But it was  _ Daiyu _ . This was  _ Daiyu  _ that was looking at him and touching him and asking him to trust her. He’d always trusted Daiyu. She’d never given him a reason not to. And he would believe her in everything else—he would give and give and give and do anything she asked of him. Because he did—he  _ did  _ trust her. But he couldn’t trust her in this. Not when she had turned him away time and again. Not when her pity and loathing and sorrow were so thick in the air that he could taste the bitterness curling in his gut. Not when he knew she would sacrifice everything— _ had  _ sacrificed everything—to offer what she could to bolster the broken remnants of her adoptive family. 

She could hear the untruth in his words as they fell from his lips. He didn’t believe her. Though it caused sorrow to twist in her gut, she couldn’t blame him. “Adrian, a single act does not equate to trust and belief.”

He gave another curt nod. He had expected as much, but it still was an added pain, saltwater washing over an open wound. Alucard had stopped breathing, the scent of her emotions proving to be too much. “If that is your answer, may I go?” 

While the request was not a surprise, it still felt like a knife being jerked out. To make it worse, the emotions that were clouding around him worried her and she wished for nothing but to find a way to comfort him. “Would you be willing to tell me why? Why do you not trust me?” 

“I do trust you,” Alucard pushed out with the last of the breath rattling in his chest. 

_ You’ve been lying to us. _

He heard the words ringing high and harsh through him before she had a chance to respond. His mind swam. He wasn’t deceiving her—he hadn’t meant to deceive her. He  _ did  _ trust her, but how could she possibly want him? After all he had done, all that had been taken from him—what more did he have to give her? He had been able to entertain the idea before, but now, she  _ knew.  _ She saw the scars on him for what they were. He took in a rasping, grating breath and his stomach roiled against the emotions in the air—

_ Oh God, I’m going to be sick.  _

Alucard spun away from her as the first heave grabbed his stomach and yanked.

The change in his emotional state showed in every aspect of his being. The scent of his self-loathing and anguish made her breath catch, and she immediately wished she hadn’t asked those questions. Would he even entertain the idea of letting her stay with him?

Daiyu saw what was coming before he started to turn. For a moment, she almost hesitated. 

_ What if I’m making the wrong choice again, and this is what won’t help him? _

She expelled the thought. Everything in her life had led her to be here at this moment. If he did not want her, let him be the one to say those words. Her body reacted reflexively as she stepped next to him, catching his hair out of his face, and rubbing soothing circles on his back. In his current state, she knew words would mean nothing. So she waited, continuing the reassuring motions with her hand. 

After his stomach had expelled any bile and the very memory of alcohol from his system, Alucard vehemently spat into the grass. He was miserable. Daiyu had called him out here to  _ talk  _ and he had hurt her again with his words—and narrowly avoided vomiting on her. He couldn’t stop shaking. 

“I never lied to you,” he managed, voice weak. 

Thinking back on their conversation, she couldn’t recall anything where she had insinuated he had lied to her. Finding nothing, she turned to the idea that it was something he was fighting with, and somewhere she had said something to bring it out.

“I believe you,” she murmured in a quiet, calming voice.

“I didn’t want to hurt them. I tried to be better.” His words were desperate as he was thrown between the present and a dark bedroom rancid with the stench of carnage.

He didn’t want to hurt Daiyu any more, he wanted to be better—could he be better? Did he have the capacity for anything but lonely nights wiped away by the burn of alcohol? She wanted him to trust her, but how could she trust him when even he couldn’t trust himself? 

She focused only on allowing thoughts and emotions of care and comfort to come through. There was a rage under her skin that she refused to let show. He might not have wanted to hurt them, but  _ she did. _ The very thought of the harm they inflicted on him made her wish she had been the one to take their lives. Right now, though, he needed support. Not fury he would misinterpret. So she pulled on all her years of training to try and be what he needed.

Running her fingers through his hair to better keep it out of his face, she inclined her head. “I believe you.” It was spoken like a promise. “You would never hurt anyone without reason.”

His eyes were despondent, adrift in a sea of pain and hopelessness, as he searched her gaze. “How can you be so certain?”

“Because you have never done anything to cause me to consider doubting you.” She continued to move her hand over his back. “Adrian, would you look at me?”

But wasn’t he already looking at her?

Alucard wanted to rage. To show her all of the instances she was overlooking—make her understand why she shouldn’t trust him. He wanted to show her the monster. But she’d asked him to look at her, and he would never be able to deny her. He straightened, taking a deep breath and holding it as he looked at her—let his gaze rove over her straight nose, her high cheekbones and the bow of her lips. 

“Looking and seeing are two very different things,” Alucard murmured as his eyes settled on her deep golden-brown gaze, “and as much as I know about you, Daiyu, you have always been a mystery to me.”

She gave him a small smile of gratitude. “They are two different things. If you are willing, I would like to try letting you see me.” She paused searching his golden eyes. “Is there anything in particular about me you would like to know?”

He gave her a pleading look. “You are suggesting we do this  _ now _ ?”

A laugh broke from her. “Perhaps not. I think for now, it would be better to get you something to eat.”

Alucard’s pale skin took on a distinctly green hue. 

Daiyu considered his change in complexion. “Too soon for food,” she mused. “Would you perhaps be willing to try another of my teas?”

“It would seem I am, once again, at your mercy.” Despite his words, his expression was one of gratitude. 

Diayu tilted her head to the side, opening her mouth, trying to figure out if he was being literal or not. She couldn’t think of a good response, so she closed her mouth with a nod and turned as if to invite him to walk with her.

Alucard stepped forward to trail after her; reaching down to catch her hand felt more like muscle-memory than conscious thought. At the first brush of contact, he jolted slightly, moving to withdraw. Everything within him stilled as she wordlessly intertwined their fingers, gently pulling him on towards her nest. It was the greatest mercy she could have ever shown him. His chin dropped to his chest as he squeezed her hand, eyes shut against the threat of tears as he silently trailed after her. 

She wanted to hold and comfort him, but wasn’t sure if he would want that. When he reached for her hand, Daiyu was filled with gratitude that he was still willing to reach for her. The next moment, she had to keep her eyes focused forward as she scented the change in his emotions. Instead of saying anything, she responded by tightening her fingers around his hand. 

If he wanted it, she never would never leave him again. She had walked away once of her own free will and choice. Not again. If he would, she wanted to stay and try being a support for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week on 'Spot the Head-Cannon'~! Alucard has magic. Deal with it. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
> 
> See you guys next week on Wednesday for a much lighter chapter! Did anyone order some lemon with their tea? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	11. Tea Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daiyu and Alucard take a moment to clarify a few things and have some tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some fluff and (almost) smut to go with all the healing!! (o ゜▽ ゜)o☆

As they drew up on the nest, Daiyu glanced over at Alucard. “Unless you’re wanting to try jumping up there together, I’m going to need my hand back for a minute.”

For a moment, Alucard actually considered it. He could only let out a huff of a laugh at the absurdity of his infantile behavior as he reluctantly released her hand, pushing back his shoulders to stand straight—and immediately face-faulted. 

“Daiyu,” he began very carefully, “why. . . The duvets are in the trees.”

“Ah.” Daiyu looked up at her handy work. “Fresh air and sunlight are a wonderful thing.”

Alucard nodded as though he understood on a deeply philosophical level before evenly responding, “Yes, and what are you hoping to grow from the duvets?”

As she responded, there was a sparkle in her eyes, “Peace of mind.”

He marginally deflated at that. “If you don’t like the extra bedding, I can take it back to the castle.”

She let out a small sigh. He clearly had missed the humor. “No, Adrian. I love them and am deeply grateful you were willing to bring them. But they needed some air after the morning activities.” 

“Ah.” Alucard’s jaw snapped shut resolutely, no further clarification needed. He floundered for a moment before mildly commenting, “I am glad you like them. Your travel roll was deplorable.”

She raised her brows in mock offence. “Be nice. That poor thing travelled a long way to get here.” Taking a step in preparation to vault up, she bumped her shoulder against his in a light, playful manner, then jumped up, disappearing into the nest.

He raised an affronted eyebrow at her. “If I was in the way, you could have just told me,” he called up, waiting for her to reappear with her well-worn pot. Her filthy travel roll and her banged-up pot and him. She seemed to have an affinity for broken things. 

She landed in a crouch, then straightened, “You were in just the right place,” and moved past him toward the fire pit. 

A small smile slipped past him. He covered it with a weary sigh, stepping forward to match his stride with hers. “What concoction will you poison me with today?”

Looking up at him, Daiyu considered his expression. “Much the same as what I gave you last night, but with ginger instead of chamomile.”

Alucard gave her a knowing smile. “To calm the digestive system.”

She nodded, returning his smile. “Precisely.” Reaching the rocks that had become the sitting area around the fire, she looked at the wood she had gathered. “Would you be willing to help build the fire or get the water?” 

“What would you have me do?” Alucard answered immediately. 

If she wanted, he would do both. Anything to repay her for her kindnesses—anything to facilitate the return to their easy banter and fully erase the fading memories of the pain and vulnerabilities they had traded. 

Without thinking about it, she responded, “Whichever you prefer,” as she unwrapped the cups.

“And if I prefer neither?” he inquired, raising a brow in teasing. 

Relieved to see he was pulling out of the destructive thought processes he had been spiraling in, at least for the moment, she pursed her lips in mock concentration. “Then I suppose, you’ll just have to wait longer while I handle it.” 

“I may perish from boredom if I wait for you to do everything,” he responded, voice aloof as he gave her a sidelong look.

She nodded with a solemn expression, even as her eyes flashed with amusement. “It may be a hard thing, but I believe you’re up to the task.” As she spoke she reached up and gently patted his arm in a sympathetic nature. 

Alucard silently lifted the tea kettle from her grasp, form blurring with the speed of his movements, before replacing it on her open palm a moment later. Water sloshed against the sides in a beautiful rendition of a controlled tsunami. A drop escaped the domed top, trailing over Daiyu’s wrist. 

“Patience is not one of my strong-suits.”

Daiyu let out a surprised laugh. “What happened to ‘excelling at waiting’?”

“A lot can change in a day.” His tone was heavy with implications as his gaze pointedly flicked up to the duvets gently swaying in the wind. 

Daiyu didn’t allow herself to glance up, knowing what he was insinuating. Instead, she turned with a gentle smile and sat down, placing the pot beside her.

Alucard dropped into a squat to assess the woodpile she had prepared by the fire pit, considering how best to arrange the wood into an accommodating formation for a sustained flame. His brow furrowed as he took in the soot coloring the tinder. He would have more than just his pants to fret over if he got charcoal in his white silk shirt. Alucard took a moment to roll his sleeves up to the creases of his elbows before picking through the pile. 

Taking out her containers and pouches of herbs and spices, Daiyu took some dried leaves and ground them in her palm with her thumb, until they sufficiently crushed. Placing them in one of the cups, she poured a small amount of the water in and stirred gently until it was well mixed. 

Turning with the intent to hand the mixture to Alucard, she stopped. He had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and she could see how the muscles in his arms flexed and moved as he prepared the fire. Had he always been this enjoyable to watch? Her eyes slowly moved up to his shoulders, where nothing was left to the imagination. His hair had soaked his shirt and it now clung to his back, accentuating the lines of muscle there. 

Looking closer, she noticed there was something else. Thin dark lines raked down one of his shoulders. Realizing what they were her entire body flashed hot with desire. She took a deep breath, attempting to control her flash of desire. 

Quickly, she turned her head so she was looking away from him and took a few deep breaths to calm herself, tightly holding the cup in her hands. He had just been extremely vulnerable with her after she’d hurt him with her words. She felt betrayed by her body. He needed support and understanding, not her physical yearnings. 

Alucard stilled as a spike of interest snapped the easy atmosphere between them into tight, focused tension. His gaze drifted from his work to where Daiyu was turned away from him, legs crossed and expression decidedly neutral. He absently waved his hand over the tinder, energy zinging through the air as fire obediently crackled to life between the bits of wood. 

He took in another measured breath—just to confirm—and saw Daiyu’s eyes close, brows lifted in silent pleading as she realized she’d been caught. With the control of a wolf stalking prey through the undergrowth, he slowly turned to face her. 

As Alucard focused his attention on her, Daiyu closed her eyes in a futile effort to convince herself to stop feeling what was currently coursing through her as quickly as it had started. If he was willing, she was going to sit right where she was and continue taking measured, calming breaths. At least until she convinced her heart that it didn’t need to be pumping so furiously, flushing her cheeks and making her entire body feel like it was about to catch fire. 

His head tilted as he took in the darkening of her cheeks, listening to the frantic flutter of her heart. If the scent rolling off of her was any indication, she was dangerously close to moving from the blush of interest to the fires of arousal. But what could have piqued her interest so acutely? 

Alucard called out to her, soft and inquisitive. Her low, answering whine shot through his nerves to coil below his gut. Was it really possible he had ignited this flame that was working to consume her?

Pivoting to kneel before her, he hesitantly rested his hands on the outside of her thighs, just above the bend of her knees. She quivered at the heat of his palms searing through the thin material of her garb, tucking her chin into the dip of her shoulder.

“Don’t do that. Don’t hide from me.” He hardly recognized the sound of dark temptations his voice had descended into. 

He pressed his fingers into her skin and marveled as she pulled her lip into her mouth. Kneeling there, looking up into her face, he couldn’t help but think once more,  _ oh, how I would worship Daiyu. _

“If you would have me believe that your response is for only me, I would have you show me everything. Every time you would stifle your voice, let me hear your pleasure. When you can’t tear your eyes away and fear I will find you watching me, let me catch and hold your gaze—open and ravenous. If I can find those most tender places that make you fracture,” a finger stroked over the skin at the back of her knee, “let me share in your ecstasy. If you dream of us, entangled and breathless, allow me to help you find your release in your waking moments. Hide nothing from me. Show me everything. Let me see you, Daiyu.”

He gazed up at her through his lashes as he leaned to place a faint kiss against the bottom of her knee, before moving to pull away.

As he spoke the heat focused low and tightened. His words stole her breath and when she tried to fill her lungs, her senses were flooded by his intent. He wanted her to show him this? What she wanted to show him wasn’t what he needed right now. But he had given her an answer to her earlier question. How could she not respond? 

When he started to pull away, she abandoned the idea of finding any semblance of composure. Opening her eyes, she turned to look at the cup in her hands. She had forgotten she’d been holding it. Lifting it with one hand she held it out to him, “This is for you. It’s a rinse. Not meant to be swallowed.”

Alucard paused, going slightly cross-eyed as he looked at the cup before glancing back up to her skeptically. While he’d had a light curiosity toward the concoction she’d been strangling, he had been expecting an entirely different response. But then, he reminded himself of the undertones of mortification that had been interwoven with her lust, and gingerly took the offered drink from her hands. 

He was mindful to avoid brushing against her fingers. Perhaps he’d been too forward. He silently chided himself as he tipped his chin back, immediately finding a reprieve from the bitter taste of vomit that had been clinging to his teeth. He let the liquid sit on his tongue for a moment, carefully considering the flavors. How many different mint leaves did she carry with her at any given time?

Daiyu took a final deep breath. She couldn’t bring herself to look up at him quite yet, but she would answer him, “Just now, I was watching you and I saw the marks on your back—it took me by surprise. Before I knew it, my body reacted.” 

_ Mortification. This is mortifying. _

Alucard choked. Faced with the options of spewing the contents on Daiyu or swallowing what she had specifically told him  _ not  _ to swallow—he gulped down the mint rinse. He doubled over, shoulders shaking with coughs. 

“Adrian!” Daiyu jumped up to take the cup from his hand and crouched beside him to pat his back. “Why—that wasn’t meant to be swallowed. . .”

Alucard opened his mouth to respond, but all he could manage was a wet gasp. His throat burned bright with mint, eyes watering profusely. He coughed again before he was able to push out the words in a breathless rasp, “Accredit it to my heritage. Vampire instinct dictates I swallow.”

Daiyu couldn’t help a small burst of laughter. “I’ll be more careful what I give you in the future.” She gave his back a final pat and moved to stand. “It’s not harmful, but it’s not what I would have chosen to be the first thing you consume right now.” 

His hand snapped out, fingers curling around her wrist to halt her withdrawing. He took another short breath, wincing slightly against the bite of mint, before continuing in a more steady voice, “There are marks on my back?”

She considered him, before responding carefully, “Yes. . .”

His mind cast about for a moment. “You didn’t bite me. At least not that I can recall?”

She looked at him in pleading exasperation. Did he really not know? Her expression shifted to contemplation. Did he want her to bite him there? 

“They’re not bite marks.”

Amazement slackened his jaw. Were they from her nails? Nothing had been able to break his skin before that wasn’t a consecrated weapon or his father’s blows. Yet, here she was, suggesting she’d marked him with just her nails. She truly was a marvel. 

Freeing her wrist, he turned his back to her, carefully moving his hair over his shoulder. He looked over his opposite shoulder at her. “Would you show me where?”

Heat bloomed in her cheeks again as she raised her hand and gently ran her fingertips over the marks she had left on him. They were beautiful. The thought that she had put them there filled her with satisfaction, coupled with a desire to leave other marks of love on him. 

She took a quivering breath. “Here,” was all she whispered.

Alucard couldn’t help but shudder as her fingers brushed over the fabric clinging to his skin, the pressure jumping over rumples. The lust that had eased away snapped back viciously, howling through his veins and demanding more. He had to resist asking her if she’d like to add to those marks. 

Instead, he tenderly caught her hand in his, bringing her fingers to his mouth as he murmured, “I was impenetrable before you, and yet, you manage to mark me with just your nails. You are beyond words.” 

He’d meant to leave a kiss against the pads of her fingers, but she was looking at him like she was burning, so what could he do but burn with her? He nipped her finger gently before wiping his tongue over the small hurt, and pulling away. He left his palm open to allow her to escape.

A small gasp escaped her at the shock of pleasure that coiled in her. Instead of pulling her hand away, she moved closer. Leaning down she nuzzled behind his ear. Alucard’s spine snapped straight, a strangled yelp tearing past him, causing a devilish smile to play across her lips. She wanted to bite him back, but knew if that happened there would be no going back. Instead, she decided to honor his request in another way, even though it thrilled and terrified her. 

Inhaling through her nose, she breathed out, “You smell incredible, and while I would  _ very _ much like to see what you taste like, we need to take care of the residual effects of your alcohol consumption.” With that, she moved to step away.

His eyes went wide with shock, pupils devouring the golden hue of his iris. She wanted to  _ taste  _ him? Did she even comprehend what she was suggesting? Even if she did, who was he to deny her? 

Alucard barred her escape with an arm across her stomach, pulling her into his lap in a flailing of limbs. His breath was hot against her neck as he admired the marks he’d left in her skin from that morning. He resisted biting down once more, instead trailing the tip of his tongue up the column of her neck to that tender spot behind her ear where he placed an open-mouthed kiss, sucking gently. He didn’t pull away until the bite of her nails accompanied the sweet sounds spilling from her lips. 

“You don’t get to say that and then walk away,” he growled softly against her neck. 

She gasped for a moment, loosening her grip on his shoulder. “You said you wanted to know what I was thinking.” 

Looking up at him, a shudder went through her as she took in his dilated eyes. She reached up to play with the tangles in his hair and burrowed her head under his chin. Did he have  _ any _ idea what he was doing to her? “You’re not making this easy.”

_ And thank God for that,  _ Alucard thought, sorely displeased that he couldn’t see the expression that went with the wrecked tones of her whine. She was doing it again, she was hiding from him. And he was not about to let that go unchecked—he  _ would  _ draw her back out. 

“Shall I let you know what I’m thinking, Daiyu?” Alucard’s hand trailed down the ball of her shoulder, over her waist, to settle at her hip, thumb pressing down with a steady pressure at the juncture where leg met hip, tearing a close-lipped moan from her. “Your scent is an aphrodisiac paralleled only by the taste of your skin. Just the memory of your voice while in the throws of passion is enough to steal the breath from my chest. And despite how much of my morning was spent wishing I had more than just your name in my mouth, if you  _ did  _ taste me, I doubt even  _ my  _ stamina would be enough to last.” 

And with that, he straightened his back, giving her ample space to move how she so chose. 

Her hand stilled in his hair as he spoke and she had to concentrate on not letting any other errant sounds escape. When he finished, she stayed where she was, knowing if she moved in that moment, it would not be in the direction she needed to go. Instead, she tried to comprehend all that he had just shared with her. 

It was taking all of her self-control  _ not  _ to test the promise in his words. She took a deep breath. Even as she was assaulted by the arousal in the air, she imagined the feeling of the snake moving across her skin and images of the state he had been in earlier, sobering some of her desires.

Biting her lower lip for a moment, she let out a sigh. Sitting up, she slid her legs from where they had been draped over his and tucked them under herself. “You always had a way with words.” Her fingers came up to run over the mark he had just given her. A soft smile pulled at her lips, “I plan to show you, one day and one action at a time, that I have been completely sincere. Right now, I am certain the best way to do that is to help settle your stomach.” She stroked his hair a couple more times, and rose to her knees. 

She wanted to smoothly rise. Go back to making the tea and be able to say she had resisted the unequaled temptations he had thrown at her, but she couldn’t. Pausing, she turned back to him and placed a gentle kiss at the corner of his mouth.

Alucard rose up to meet her, a hand going around her waist and up her back to guide the back of her neck, elbow pushing between her shoulder blades. Daiyu let out a breath as he pulled her in closer. Dropping the cup from her hand, she gripped his shoulders.

At the first sigh against his lips, he gripped her waist, chin lifting to follow her lips as he picked her up. He shuddered at the initial electrifying brush of contact as he pulled her flush against him. 

She gasped. Feeling his chest drag against hers, she couldn’t resist sucking his lower lip between her teeth and biting it gently. 

A low, rumbling groan escaped Alucard at the blunt pressure of her teeth on his lips. His hands trailed down her sides, pausing to give her cheeks an appreciative squeeze, before trailing down to the backs of her thighs. She hummed hungerly against him. In a smooth tug, he settled her thighs along the outside of his hips. When he brought her down and pulled her against him, her hips rolled against him instinctually.

A small voice of reason tried to whisper something to the back of Alucard’s mind, but it was immediately devoured by the lust roaring through him as the heat of her ground down against him. A guttural moan rolled through his chest as he helplessly rocked his hips up to give her that friction she was seeking. She arched into him, nails bearing down on the meat of his shoulders as she jostled with the movement, mouth opened in a silent gasp. In that moment, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever had the pleasure of watching. 

He couldn’t help but groan into her neck between breathless, open-mouthed kisses, “Beautiful. . . You are so beautiful, Daiyu.”

At his words, Daiyu brought one of her hands up to fist in his hair at the nape of his neck. His voice was enchanting and the way he was moving against her was causing heat to coil at her center. As she brought her head down to his shoulder to pepper his neck with kisses leading up to his ear, a distant voice screamed in her mind. She pushed it away as she rocked against him.

Alucard needed more, and she was wearing entirely too many layers. Alucard smoothed his hands up her ribs, slipping between the fabric of her tunic and robe, intent upon pushing the top layer off her shoulders. He paused for just a moment of consideration, before trailing his thumbs lightly over the curve of her breasts on the way to her collarbone.

As he ran his finger over her breasts, a gasp escaped her and the voice that had been clawing to be heard broke through her lustful haze. 

She had no idea what this would do to him. He was showing all the signs of wanting this, but it was too much, too soon. She didn’t know what his trauma was and how her actions might evoke memories of that time if she had her way with him. The last thing she wanted was to do something that would throw him back to that time. Acts such as these were supposed to be cherished and safe. 

She tried to pull away but her body knew what it wanted, and instead of creating distance between them, she locked her ankles behind him. Her mind tried to gain control but it was futile.

_ I want this, but I don’t want to hurt him. Please—this can’t happen now. How am I supposed to protect him from myself? _

As the thought of protecting him burned through her, she felt a new kind of warmth move over her shoulders and wrap gently around her chest.

The realization that there was something on Daiyu started as a quiet knowledge as distant as the knowledge that they were still outside, rutting against each other like touch-starved beasts. But there was a pressure at the small of his back that sang under his skin—she wanted him closer, she wanted their contact to be stronger, deeper—and he was dragged under the waves of passion once more. Alucard’s head jerked back with a broken gasp as Daiyu yanked on the hair in her fist, her body flowing against his as she tucked her head under his chin and began lapping at his skin. He obediently followed her guidance, the sting at his scalp shooting straight to the throbbing ache captured between her legs.

_ Something’s wrong. _

The thought pricked under his skin like a thorn, the discomfort aggravated with each drag of lips and teeth against skin. Alucard pulled away, chest heaving with uneven pants, absently pushing away the thought. Something was wrong? Everything was  _ perfect _ . And everything would only be made more perfect if he could stroke her skin directly. His lust bleary gaze dragged over her, puzzling over how to get more access to the delectable skin that he knew she was hiding under all those layers. It was then that the recognition that something was on Daiyu slammed into his chest with a panic to rival the one he’d felt when she’d plummeted past him.

Something wasn’t just on Daiyu, there was a striped coil of blue-yellow-black muscle constricting her torso. The terrified need to  _ protect  _ yanked him out of the sea of desire so quickly his vision went spotty at the first full breath of air. His jaw snapped open with a hiss full of vehement, mortal threat, eyes flashing. 

Daiyu was yanked from the throws of passion as Alucard tensed with a hiss, and terror flooded in. She jerked back, releasing her legs from around him to look for the danger. When she found his eyes, they were filled with fury, pinned on her. She wanted to help him, but wasn’t sure what she had done to cause his reaction,

“Adrian—it’s alright,” she spoke to him in a soothing tone.

When his eyes flicked back up to her eyes, his gaze turned fearful and pleading, “Daiyu—” he choked out, glancing back at the serpentine coil around her. She could still breathe, that was a good sign. His voice was desolate, “I don’t know how to—” before hardening with resolve, “Just a moment. Don’t move.” His nails sharpened to claws. 

Daiyu felt some relief as he called her by name. When his eyes flicked up to hers and filled with fear then back to her chest, she followed his gaze. Her eyes widened as she took in what he was seeing. She looked up at him, seeing what his intent was and tried to stop him, “Adrian, wai—” as his hand flashed forward she deflected it, using the momentum to roll to the side. Coming up in a crouch, she faced him with her palms up, “Wait. He’s not hurting me.” 

Alucard crouched, fangs bared in an uneasy grimace. She’d defended the creature seemingly intent upon constricting the life from her. He took in a short breath, confusion clouding over his mind as he found no fear in the air aside from his own. 

He made no further moves to threaten the snake, but his tone was strained with frantic skepticism as he quickly growled out, “‘He’? Daiyu, do you have a pet snake you’ve neglected to introduce me to?”

Gratitude, that he was willing to listen, instead of just acting, eased some of the tension in Daiyu’s chest. “He,” she confirmed, “You’ve met him before.” As she spoke, the snake shifted, its head slowly coming up to rest on her shoulder to consider Alucard with one eye.

His eyes widened with recognition before narrowing with loathing as he snarled out a short, “ _ You!” _

The snake was unbothered by Alucard’s snarl and simply turned, lowering its head to better watch him with both eyes.

Daiyu looked between the two of them, not sure how to best move forward. Alucard seemed nothing but furious with the snake, but she did note that the fear in the air was ebbing away, “Yes—him. . .” She turned to look back at the snake, a look of disbelief flitting across her face. “How did you get off my skin?”

Alucard let out a sigh as he sagged, effortlessly shifting forms to drop to the ground on his stomach, letting out a low whine as he closed his eyes. Daiyu was okay, she wasn’t in danger. He was still trying to convince the alert panic out of his limbs. 

Annoyance flooded in in its wake.  _ That damn snake _ . Of course—of fucking  _ course  _ it wouldn’t come off of her skin until they were so close he’d seen stars. His ears flicked back, eyes slitting open—why had it become corporeal? How? 

Looking up from the snake at Alucard’s whine, Daiyu moved to approach him. She could smell the distress that was coming off of him, changing to something else. Kneeling beside him, she reached out a hand to stroke the white fur between his shoulder blades in comfort. “It’s going to be okay, Adrian. We’ll figure this out.”

Running her hands through Alucard’s coat she mused over what had happened. What had she been feeling and focusing on to bring the snake out? Her hand stilled at the idea of her wish to protect Alucard having been the cause. 

“Oh. . .” __

_ He is not going to like that _ .

The snake wound down over her arm, flicking its tongue out at Alucard’s nose. He was certain at this point that the  _ tattoo— _ the  _ ink  _ that wasn’t supposed to be doing  _ anything _ —was mocking him. His lip raised in a snarl, snapping at the serpent in warning. 

Not flinching, the snake simply flicked its tongue out again, then turned its head to look at Daiyu.

Daiyu watched the interaction, and had to keep a smile from crossing her lips. Thinking about the symbolism of the two of them squaring off like this, brought a twist of sorrow between her ribs. “Hogo-sha, don’t antagonize him. Won’t you come back?”

She had very clearly called it ‘he’, so it should have come as no surprise to Alucard that it had a name. Even so, it irked him to no end. Alucard half-heartedly swiped at the creature with a paw as it turned back to flick its tongue in contemplation at Daiyu. He wasn’t even close enough to be a danger to it, nonetheless, Daiyu gave him a stern look. He huffed out a breath, turning away from her as a jealous twinge cut through him. She was favoring her  _ tattoo  _ over him—it stung. 

Daiyu took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh as Alucard turned away from her. She could understand why he would act in such a way toward the snake. It had gotten between them. Not once, but twice in a single day. She started stroking his fur again.

“I can understand why you would be less than pleased. This isn’t how I imagined things progressing, either.” She took another calming breath. “Would you still drink some tea with me?”

He flicked his gaze up to her, eyelids lowered in exasperation. When she continued to expectantly gaze at him, he thumped his tail on the ground pointedly before picking up a paw and letting it drop back down. Just to be certain he wouldn’t be misunderstood, he placed both paws on his muzzle, ears pointing back into a withering glare. He was  _ not  _ going to lap at the tea like a dog. 

Daiyu couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of her at his antics. Did he have any idea how endearing he was? She quickly stifled it, though her eyes still sparkled. Moving, she sat in a more comfortable position beside him. “We can wait until you’re ready.”

Despite his desire to stay decidedly irked, her laughter pulled at his resolve. A traitorous ear swiveled out toward her with interest. She wasn’t saying anything else. Was she planning to just sit with him until he transformed back and drank tea with her? He shifted slightly to watch her from the corner of an eye. She had her face upturned, a quiet smile dancing over her features as she breathed in the breeze and basked in the sparse autumn rays. Alucard let out a soft sigh—he would never grow accustomed to her allure. 

Waiting, Daiyu simply enjoyed the feeling of sitting next to Alucard. The sun was warm, the breeze cool, and the air was full of the smells of autumn. More than any of those, the simple act of sitting with him filled her with immense pleasure. It was idyllic.

The blue flick of a tail drew Alucard’s gaze. His lip raised in a silent snarl. The snake didn’t even look at him, too absorbed in warming itself in the sun. As Daiyu took in another deep inhale, exhaling with a contented hum, the outline of the creature hazed like waver vapor in the sun, before its form disappeared beneath Daiyu’s clothes. Alucard’s head shot up in interest, ears pricked. He gave a curious sniff at the shoulder closest to him, stirring Daiyu from her repose. 

Looking down, Daiyu saw what had caught his attention. Lifting her hand she watched for a moment until Hogo-sha’s head peaked out, once again in the form of ink on her skin, “Well, it seems he’s returned to his original place.” 

Alucard rose, giving himself a thorough shake before standing into his bipedal form. “I think I’ll take that tea now.” He offered Daiyu a hand to help her off the ground. As she took his hand and he hefted her up, he asked, “How did you do that?”

Rising, Daiyu gave him a measured look, “Do you think we would be in this  _ particular _ predicament if I knew?” Softening her expression, she kept a hold on his hand and started moving back toward the fire. “So far as I’ve been able to ascertain, these new powers seem to come out when I’m feeling some kind of imbalance. Once I regain what was lost is when they disappear.” 

He allowed her to tug him along tilting his head to give her a sidelong look. “What caused the imbalance this morning?” After a beat, he determined further clarification may be needed, “For the comprehensive transformation.”

She pursed her lips in contemplation. “Fury, enmity, rage. . . sorrow. . . heartache,” with each emotion she listed her voice became softer, “I think those were the predominant emotions.” 

Alucard regarded her in bewilderment. Daiyu was not one to feel such emotions lightly. Having been reared to revere tranquility and release intense emotions, he’d only witnessed her ire a handful of times over their time growing up together. What could have provoked—his body flashed cold and heavy, like a stone dropped to the bottom of an ocean. 

He pulled them to a stop, squeezing her hand gently to pull her attention to him. “This was when you determined the origins. . .” he trailed off, finding himself without words. Instead, he dropped his gaze to his forearm before glancing up at her again. 

Watching his reaction carefully, she tightened her grip on his hand unconsciously. “Yes,” she said softly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to encroach on something so personal without your permission.” Reaching up, she gently brushed his cheek with the back of her fingers. “While you might not be able to see it, you’re resplendent to me.” 

His eyes blew wide with shock before he jerked his head to the side, hand coming up in an attempt to cover the color that burst to life over his cheeks and nose. Damn his pale complexion. He cleared his throat, peeking over at her as he shifted their hands to weave his fingers between hers. 

“No. No, you have nothing to apologize for. Thank you. For caring enough to feel those emotions in my stead.” He lowered his hand, the heat in his face abating enough for him to unabashedly hold her gaze. His thumb brushed over the back of her hand, voice achingly tender as he repeated, “Thank you.” 

Daiyu considered calling him out on hiding from her, like he had to her earlier. Instead she waited, admiring the changing hue of his complexion. At his words, admiration for the man he had become washed over her. Looking up at him, she smiled tenderly. “Thank you.” She led him to a rock beside the fire. 

Grabbing the teapot, she placed it back on the fire. Turning for the cups, she came up short. Where had the other one gone?  _ Right—I dropped it. _

Instead of mentioning it, she just unwrapped another and went about getting the tea in the cups. “It’s a bit over steeped, but better late than never.”

“I am grateful nonetheless,” Alucard responded, taking a recently filled cup from her hands. He took a sip, considering their conversation for a moment before returning to the matter at hand. “What emotions were you feeling when the tattoo became sentient?”

Daiyu sipped her tea. “I was feeling a lot of things—though I think the imbalance came from me feeling a need to protect and being unable to do so.” 

Alucard cut in, brows furrowed, “You felt a need to protect yourself from me?” 

His mind spiraled, going through their actions, trying to find any sign that she may have given him that he hadn’t been able to recognize. He sucked in a breath with a wince, finally recognizing why something had felt wrong—he’d smelled her unrest in the air and hadn’t had the presence of mind to recognize it for what it was. 

He glowered down into his cup of tea. He wanted to beg her to never let it get that far—let _him_ get that far gone. But how could he? He’d been a slave to his desires and hadn’t been able to recognize he was pulling her into something she didn’t want. Would he have even been able to stop if she _had_ given him a sign, told him to stop?

Before he could go further, Daiyu spoke softly, “No, Adrian. I felt a need to protect you from myself.”

His thought process came to a screeching halt. He blinked up at her. “What?”

She looked down at her cup, then back up at him. “Just that. I felt a need to protect you from myself.”

He narrowed his eyes at her as he tried to understand. “You felt a need to protect  _ me  _ from  _ you?  _ From you doing what? Why would you feel a need to do such a thing?”

Daiyu let out a resigned sigh. “Yes. Why? I think it’s related to what I learned this morning. I was afraid I would do something that would cause you to be reminded of what happened.” 

Alucard gritted his teeth, a muscle in his jaw feathering. Whereas reason spoke to him, entreated that he be grateful to her careful consideration, pride wove a gnarled pit of shame in his gut. Would she ever see him as more than the culmination of his scars? Would she always be so careful to keep from provoking the ghosts of his past? But then, why shouldn’t she? Only this morning when she had told him that she was aware of the meaning behind his scars, his response had been to promptly expel the contents of his stomach. 

He could only murmur, demure and reticent, “I recall having told you before and I will say it again: it would be different with you.  _ You  _ are different, Daiyu. I meant it when I told you before and I mean it now.”

Daiyu listened to his words and the conviction with which he spoke them.  _ It would be a beautiful thing if it were that easy _ . 

“I believe in your conviction and I’m grateful for it. I want to love you so completely that you could never doubt my intentions or desires.” She took a breath. “I also believe in what I have seen. Of all the people I’ve known that have experienced anything like what happened to you, no matter how much they love and trust, there are things that throw them back to the nightmares they experienced. I don’t doubt your desire to love and be loved. I doubt my ability to recognize when I might unintentionally send you to a dark place, when I’m trying to show you light.”

“The paradox of trust is that it can’t be given unless it is received. Would you not trust me to trust you enough to tell you if I was in such a place?” He caught her gaze with his own steady one before simply stating, “You are a thing of light, Daiyu. No darkness can exist around you.”

She held his gaze. “I trust you.” There was a promise in her words. “Perhaps it would be better to take things as they come. But can you promise me this? Try to be kind to yourself. You are Kintsugi incarnate.”

Alucard came up short, raising an inquisitive eyebrow, “Did an old pirate teach you that in one of their long stories?”

Daiyu’s lips pulled up in a smile. “I learned from more than the stories of old pirates. Kintsugi is an art—golden joinery. When something that was broken is repaired using precious materials. When it is done, the original piece becomes of greater beauty and value because of its flaws and the journey it has taken to become what it is.”

He snorted softly at that. “I must still be in the ‘refining’ stages, then.”

“It’s a continual process.”

“Much like your training,” he said, pointedly steering their conversation back to their previous topic. “It sounds like your powers are focused on emotion, raw emotion, from what you’ve told me. Would you like to test that theory?”

Daiyu raised a suspicious brow at him, “What did you have in mind?” 

Alucard’s brow furrowed in the perfect picture of contemplation. In all actuality, he wasn’t sure how to bring out raw emotion from her. While her suspicion was misplaced, her inclination to assume he was suggesting activities of a more salacious nature thrilled through him. Despite that, he didn’t trust himself enough to put them both in that sort of situation again. Instead, lightning quick, he scooped up a handful of mud from the riverbank and hurtled it at her. 

“I’m not sure,” Alucard replied smoothly as he shook mud from his fingertips, “what pricks your nerves, Daiyu?” 

Thanks to all her years of training, she narrowly dodged the mud clot he sent flying her way. 

“Hey! I still have tea.” She had wanted it to come off as irritated or scolding, but she couldn’t keep the laughter from her voice. She tilted her head to consider what got under her skin.

An idea surfaced and Alucard promptly stated, “Your friend is an imbecilic cretin.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Go on.”

“She’s a backwater paganistic perjurer.” Casting about for further insults he finally admitted, “I’m not even certain how you two became friends.”

Daiyu burst out laughing, “I don’t think this is working.”

Alucard frowned, though it twisted caustically through him, he decided to go for something a bit more drastic. His eyes turned sharp with promise, voice turning dark. “When I saw her on my steps, I considered what it would be like to dig my fangs into her throat and tear. Watch her blood pool on the steps. 

“Do you know what I felt as I staked Sumi and Taka that night? I felt nothing _.  _ I was numb, but I heard each bone crack as I pushed the wood through their bodies.” He stopped for a moment before asking quietly, “How does that make you feel, Daiyu?” 

Before he even started talking, all humor left her. As he spoke, she was filled with a deep anger and grief for him. Of course he had been numb. Daiyu didn’t know what exactly they had done to him, and not knowing possibly made it worse. Her eyes flashed amber for a moment, then she looked at him and scented the emotions coming off of him.

“It makes me feel that I failed you by not being here.” She took a step toward him. “Adrian.”

Triumph cut through the nauseous curl of reminiscent pains in his stomach. He stepped forward, cupping her face to stare into her eyes. “Your eyes changed color.” He broke off for a moment to breath in, “Loathing, grief.” 

He pulled away, mind racing. She’d said what had spurred on the change this morning had been similar feelings, but she wouldn’t have been feeling those emotions when she’d come upon him preparing to take the life of her friend. Or perhaps she had. Maybe they just had to dig deeper. 

Daiyu reached for his forearm. “Adrian, what about you? You’re hurting yourself.” There was pain lacing her words. “We’ve confirmed that those emotions can bring out some level of my abilities. Isn’t that a good enough start for now?”

Alucard blinked down at her, a short breath of a chuckle escaping him as he brushed a thumb over where his hand had left trails of mud on her skin. “It seems I’ve hit my mark despite your masterful evasive skills.” 

His expression turned pensive as he brushed his thumb over her chin, eyes drifting to where her hand rested over the scarring. “If it would help you, I would hurt myself again and again.”

Daiyu searched his face. “If it might help, I would be honored to listen to your hurts. But I don’t want either of our powers to be driven by any manner of hatred, pain, or grief.”

“The trigger is just the beginning,” Alucard reassured her, drawing back to reclaim his rock and teacup. “Once you learn to manipulate the trigger and become familiar enough with your powers to tap into your trigger without having it affect you,  _ that  _ is when your real training can begin. Until that time, we have to learn how to accurately pinpoint the catalyst for your abilities.” 

He took a sip of his tea. It had grown cool. “I hope that we will be able to share the burden of  _ both  _ of our pains.” He gave her a heavy look. “Your tattoo doesn’t smell like you, Daiyu.” 

She listened to all he was saying, and acknowledged he had a few good points. At the mention of her tattoo and sharing their pains, she went still, “What?”

Alucard didn’t look away, noticing with a jab of pain how she froze at the mention of it. His voice was very quiet as he reiterated, “Your tattoo, Daiyu. Have you ever noticed that it doesn’t smell like ink? But it doesn’t smell like you, either. Even if the time is not now, I hope you will tell me about how you got that tattoo. Who gave it to you. Why he wasn’t enough to make you stay.”

Her breath caught at his words. He wanted to do this now? She regarded him and the pain that had spiked in him as he spoke. “By your choice of words, it seems you already have an idea who the artist was. Earlier, I told you it is infused with chi, so it comes as no surprise that it doesn’t smell like ink, or me. My chi is only a part of it—do you genuinely want to talk about this now?”

“That is not my decision to make. It’s your story to tell, not mine.”

Even though it tore at her, she knew it was something they were going to have to talk about eventually. Putting things off rarely ended well. “How much detail do you want?”

“Enough to make me understand. Help me see you, Daiyu. Please.” He paused for a moment to consider the gnawing in his belly, “Though, I do have some requests—if it’s going to be a long story?” 

A small smile crossed her lips as she heard his stomach grumble. “Perhaps food would be a good place to start. What are your other requests?”

Alucard gave her a grateful smile in acknowledgement. “If I may request a relocation and some. . . adjustments to the seating arrangements?”

Daiyu nodded in agreement. “All of those seem like fair requests.” She rose to clean the tea and paused. “Admittedly, I don’t have much to offer for eating.”

“I can procure some food from the castle. Do you have any requests?”

“Whatever you’re having would be perfect.”

A corner of his mouth quirked. He leaned down to brush a kiss against her temple. There was so much going through his mind, weighing on his chest—but he found himself rendered speechless by her small mercies once more. “I won’t be gone long. Thank you.” 

She leaned into his kiss. “I’ll be here,” she murmured in response. “Thank you.” 

Before she looked up, she knew he had already left. Judging by how quickly he was moving, she wouldn’t have long to wait. A corner of her mouth pulled up at the thought as she turned to gather the forgotten tea cup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone been curious about Daiyu? Time to learn her backstory! See you next week~!! 
> 
> (Nelika and Diana just hangin' out at the castle, poking around the libraries and kitchens. Don't worry about them, they'll be back!)


	12. Daiyu's Backstory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daiyu and Alucard return to the golden grove to learn more about Daiyu's experiences while she was living amongst pirates on the Nippon seas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah for those that celebrate the holidays! We apologize for the delay with the updates. Unfortunately, there were a series of family emergencies that drew us away. (；′⌒`) But we are back with a chapter of fluff to top off the holidays!

Alucard stared, unseeing, into the pantry. What was he supposed to bring back to her? She’d said she would eat anything he was eating, but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to force anything past the clutch of reluctant dread in his throat. In stark opposition to the strangled knot in his throat, his chest clenched warmly with the understanding that Daiyu was going to talk with him—share in her pains. Daiyu, who never shared more information than was strictly required or requested of her, was willing to sit with him and be vulnerable and unguarded. The very prospect lit an urge to wrap his arms around her waist and sing praises into her skin. 

He was still having a difficult time fully grasping that she may not be entirely opposed to him doing so. Though, after her wantonly writhing in his lap, it would be pure absurdity to insist that she didn’t have some attraction towards him. 

His mouth curved into a warm smile to accompany the hint of a blush on his cheeks. She’d called him  _ resplendent.  _ How he would have loved to show her how she appeared to him—to have been allowed to worship her to his heart’s content. And he was certain he would have, if the fear of her safety hadn’t dragged him from his adulation. 

The reminder of the serpent housed in her skin pulled his lips down into a pensive frown. He decisively grabbed a loaf of bread, some smoked trout, cheese, pickled vegetables, and dried fruits from the food stores, arranging them into a basket with utensils and platters and covering them with a cloth. She’d cared enough for this nameless pirate to allow him to tie a piece of his lifeforce with hers and etch it into her skin. He’d cared enough to know she would be leaving for another, but still help her find her wings. 

Alucard’s chest throbbed with an ache too thorough and deep for even his healing capabilities to touch, but his eyes were resolute as he picked up the basket and moved for the nest with haste. It was time he learned more about this pirate and his tattoo. 

Daiyu looked up from where she had just finished cleaning and repacking her tea things as the quiet stirring of air announced Alucard’s reappearance. She gave him a gentle smile. “You made good time. Did you have somewhere in particular you were wanting to eat?”

Alucard hesitated. He’d previously assumed they would be reconvening in the privacy of her nest. Upon returning to her small camp, the sight of the duvets hanging from the trees like over-ripened fruit had whispered tittering reminders of the reason they’d taken up residence by the river in the first place. 

Haltingly, he finally responded, “I had thought of the nest, but if that isn’t preferable at the moment, I’m certain we could find another option. We could go to one of the castle’s landings— _ I  _ could fly us to one of the castle’s landings. Or we could go back to the grove. What would you prefer?”

Daiyu had to fight against a laugh at his clarification on who would be flying, in the same moment she was struck again with how kind he was. “I would like to visit the grove again. It seems like a fitting place.”

A small smile broke out in relief at her words. She was still willing to go with him, talk with him. She would never cease to amaze him. 

Alucard inclined his head in silent agreement. “Would you like to walk there again or fly?” His head tilted to the side in thought. “I may be able to phase us there. Though, I’ve never tried doing so from such a great distance.”

Daiyu wanted to ask how long  _ exactly _ he’d been able to phase with others once more, but decided against it. “We could try phasing. It would be fastest—you need food.”

He hefted his basket. “I have food.”

“Good, let’s go,” Daiyu said with a nod, then paused. “How does this work?”

Alucard’s mouth quirked. “You’re going to have to be a bit closer. I have yet to master the art of teleportation.”

Daiyu raised a brow at his sarcastic tone. Stepping forward she wrapped an arm around his waist and looked up at him. “Is this close enough?”

His heart gave a decisively uneven thud as she stepped into his space, as fearless as ever. He could still detect the faint trace of arousal on her which, logically, was understandable. She hadn’t had time to change clothes let alone bathe. He likely still carried the aroma as well. However, logic hastily exited the stage when her scent was filling the air and her body was pressed against him once more. 

He quickly looked away from her teasing gaze, managing a blessedly even, “It’ll do,” before he, in turn, secured an arm around her waist. 

He lifted off in one fluid movement, carefully maneuvering past the layered canopy. Once they had found their place in the sky amongst the clouds, he scanned the area for that shock of amber leaves. 

A breath before his eyes flashed red, he murmured to the top of Daiyu’s head, “Hold on.” The next moment, the air stirred the aspen leaves into a frenzy like a disturbed hive of honey bees. 

Alucard made sure their descent was slow and steady despite how amazement and smug satisfaction rolled through him. He’d actually managed to jump between her nest and the grove, with her in tow. Even as the victory hummed though him, foreboding crept in. He didn’t even know the full extent of his abilities. Who knew what he was capable of if he really pushed his limits? What kind of monster he could become. 

He shook off that thought for another time, releasing Daiyu as the ground rose up to provide support under their feet.

Instead of stepping away, Daiyu tightened her hold on him. “That was impressive, but why did I smell fear?” 

“I’ve never tried something of that scale before.” 

Daiyu pulled back to look at him for a moment. “For a first time, I think you did admirably.” She took a breath, then stepped back. “What did you bring for us?”

He quirked a brow at her. “This coming from the woman that created a nest upon the initial discovery of her powers. I’m not certain who should be assisting whom with their training. Nonetheless, I do appreciate your praise.” He nodded toward the grove. “If you’d like to find a suitable place to sit, I can unpack the basket and you can learn firsthand what I brought us.”

She smiled at the complement. “Perhaps we can help each other.” Turning, she glanced around the grove, not sure what he was looking for in a suitable sitting area. Deciding on a tree that had a wider trunk, she moved over to it, then turned to look at him. “Would this work?”

Alucard had already knelt beside the basket. He glanced up at her from where a hand was resting against the top of one of the lids. He handed her the cloth he’d brought for her to lay out on a sharp protrusion of rock peeking out from a tangle of roots. “Beautifully. Would you prefer to serve yourself or shall I?”

Daiyu took the light blanket. “Either works for me.”

Alucard nodded, laying out the collected foods in a colorful array before handing her a platter. “I’ll let you decide what you’d like to eat, then.” 

Daiyu took the platter with a murmur of gratitude. 

He inclined his head, selecting a couple of pieces of bread and some smoked trout before settling on the soft ground with his back against the trunk of the tree she’d chosen. His gaze appreciatively trailed over the sprawl of branches reaching out overhead, absently murmuring, “I will be sad to see winter take the color from this grove.”

Glancing up, Daiyu smiled at the leaves. “Yes, but they’ll be back.” As she spoke, she sat next to him.

Alucard took a bite of bread, giving her a sidelong scan, eyes fixing on the autumn blush of maple leaves peeking out of her neck-line to curl over the curve of her neck and shoulders. He swallowed hard, considering how best to direct their conversation back to the topic they were both reluctant to directly address. 

After a period of easy silence that tried to entreat him to let the contented moment linger on just a little longer, Alucard finally settled on, “Would you tell me more about your travels?” 

Nodding, Daiyu finished chewing on a piece of dried fruit. “Yes—I don’t expect to be able to share everything with you at this time. A lot can happen in three years. Is there a particular point you would like me to start at?”

“When did you meet your pirate?”

“About two years ago.” Daiyu paused, tilting her head at Alucard. “At any point, if you have more you want to know, or are confused about, you can ask,” 

Alucard nodded in response.

Daiyu gave him a gentle smile, then turned to face forward. “When we first met, I had just been brought on as a deckhand on a ship, disguised as a boy. As soon as I stepped on the ship, he knew I wasn’t a boy and that I wasn’t—average. Our first interaction was him giving me one chance to give him good enough reason not to report me.”

Alucard turned to give her a look of consternation, only slightly joking as he said, “I’m not certain what is more surprising, that he survived your initial interaction or that you then found yourself involved with him after such an introduction.”

“If he had been a normal pirate, he wouldn’t have survived, but being contracted to a nekomatta was enough to give me pause.”

“A nekomatta?” Alucard repeated incredulously. He leaned back against the trunk. “I’m rather loath to admit that the more I learn of this man, my respect for him only grows.” His brow furrowed. “Nekomatta are two-tailed cat demons, yes? I don’t believe I’ve ever heard of one becoming tied to a human.”

Nodding again, Daiyu confirmed what Alucard had said, “Usually they don’t ally themselves to humans, but this one was particularly lazy, and liked the idea of having someone else fight his battles. That’s where the contract came in—when I threatened to reveal the nature of his  _ cat, _ we entered into an agreement of our own. To keep each other's secrets. At first, I actively avoided him, but he was curious about how I was able to see the twin tails of the nekomatta. 

While pirates will welcome most any into their ranks, they were never quite sure what to do with either of us. People have a way of knowing when someone is different, even if they can’t figure out why.”

Daiyu paused to take a piece of trout and chewed on it in contemplation. 

“He was a free spirit, and had an insatiable curiosity. While he had found a place, of sorts, among the pirates, he never considered any of them to be more than passing acquaintances. Gradually, we got to know and trust each other. On days when there was quiet, he would ask about my life here and what it was like to have people in my life that I could trust. In turn, I learned from him what it was like being raised by a nekomatta.”

“When I left the monastery, I also left behind the monastic life-style.” Daiyu shifted uncomfortably. She didn’t want to talk about how she had fallen in love and given herself to another. “Not having that, our relationship progressed organically.”

“Please,” Alucard cut in, voice strained, plate of food long-since forgotten. 

The ball of pain in his chest had wound tighter and tighter with each unconscious word of affection that spilled past her lips, each sad smile that pulled on her features. Unable to force anything more past the strangle of envy and misplaced betrayal choking his throat, he wordlessly grabbed her wrist, giving a soft tug by means of a request. He wanted to be able to hear all that she would offer him, but he found himself in need of an anchor or support. 

Daiyu turned to watch as he seemed to be searching for words to say. Following the pull on her wrist, she set down her platter and moved to be closer to him. The scents she caught coming off of him made her regret going into any detail. “I’m sorry. If you don’t want to, we don’t have to talk about this.”

Alucard considered the offered escape before shaking his head. “I do. I want to hear all you are willing to tell me. But. . . would you come closer?”

She considered how she was already leaning in close to him. “How are you wanting me to be closer?”

In lue of a reply, he lifted his arms to her once more, much in the same way he had done the night before. Despite the light prick of chagrin at having to ask for comfort instead of offering it, he knew he wouldn’t be able to resist the need to run if he didn’t have her strong and steady presence to ground him. So he just opened his arms in a silent request for an embrace, brows lifted in pleading.

Without hesitation, Daiyu moved to the offer of his embrace. This was hard for both of them and she wanted to give comfort in any way she could—even if she was the one causing his distress. She sat in his lap, shoulder pressed to his chest, grabbing one of his hands. For a few moments, she sat in silence, just feeling the warmth that came from him.

A breath Alucard hadn’t realized he’d been holding whooshed out of him as she settled in his lap. There was no ending to her tender compassions, it would seem. His unoccupied hand circled behind her back to pull her in close around her waist as he pressed a kiss onto the top of her head in thanks. He took another steading breath, focusing on the feel of her hand in his, fingertips playing over the patchwork of calluses along the inside of her hand until the caustic mix of emotion choking him eased.

Alucard swallowed hard before murmuring, “I’m sorry to have interrupted your story. Please continue, when you are ready.”

Daiyu gently shook her head once, before nuzzling in closer to him. “You don’t need to apologize. It seems we both were in need of some comfort. Thank you.”

Taking a steadying breath, Daiyu continued, “After I had been on the ships for about a year, he came to me with an idea. He always made it clear, he wanted us to stay together, but he felt it was only a matter of time before one or both of us was pulled down a different path.” Pain laced in her chest at the memory of him never fully believing they would always be together. “Having practiced the art of tattoos, he was willing to do work for the crew, if the price was right. He had been playing with the idea of infusing chi into a tattoo, as a kind of protection.” 

Stopping again, Daiyu took a few calming breaths and tightened and loosed her grip on Alucard’s hand a few times. His arm tightened around her waist in response, but he waited for her to collect her thoughts and bolster her courage once more. 

When she spoke again, it was in a decidedly level tone. “When he brought up the idea, he told me it was something he wanted, so that even if he wasn’t able to be there in my time of need, a part of him could be.” She closed her eyes and swallowed. “That is how my tattoo became unlike any other. We didn’t know exactly what we were doing. With some training, practice, and a few sarcastic remarks by Nyan, my tattoo is the result. We didn’t know how effective it was, except for cancelling out his abilities on me, which he  _ really _ didn’t like.”

Hesitantly, Alucard hazarded a guess, “Is Nyan the pirate?”

A small smile played across her lips, “Nyan was the name I gave the nekomatta. It annoyed him, which only made me like it more.”

A light chuckle escaped, despite himself. “You found a cat demon and you decided to irk it into companionship. How fitting.” 

The levity drained away as he considered the rest of her words. Her pirate had known their time was limited, and still, he had given her everything. He had left her with a part of himself in the hopes of protecting her when he could no longer. He’d loved her to such an extent that he would do all of this and then, instead of crippling her to satisfy his need for her, he’d sacrificed everything to preserve her smile. Alucard bowed his head, resting his brow against Daiyu as resigned pain sliced through him—the pirate she’d left was more than he could ever be. Had offered and given her more than he ever could hope to. 

Wanting to have a title to bestow upon the faceless entity in his mind, Alucard softly asked, “Would you tell me his name?”

Reaching up with her other hand, Daiyu started carding her fingers through his hair. “Before that, would you tell me why you’re hurting so much? I was expecting more anger.”

His eyes drifted closed at the gentle tug of her fingers in his hair. “Anger? Why would I be angry?”

“Before, when I’ve mentioned him, I’ve sensed anger from you. . .?”

His brow furrowed in confusion. “Do you recall a specific instance?”

Daiyu considered for a moment. “Yesterday, when I briefly told you about him, by the fire.”

Alucard pulled away, squeezing her hand in gentle prompting until she would look up at him. “I have never been angry. Certainly not at you or your pirate. If I have ever felt anger, it would only be at myself for being responsible for taking you from him and not being able to feel anything but elated to have you with me again—even if it was at his expense. And yours, it would seem.” Jealousy burned through him as he acknowledged that the man she’d left had meant enough to Daiyu to—even if it was just during moments of mourning—pull her away from him. 

Searching his gaze, Daiyu continued to run her fingers through his hair. “I was the one to make the choices I did. I would hope you don’t hold yourself responsible for them.” 

She tilted her head at him. “You’re doing it now.”

He blinked at her in confusion for a moment before recognition flooded him. A self-deprecating laugh tore from his chest. Even as he thought it fitting that she wouldn’t recognize jealousy, he was filled with bewilderment that quickly turned to respect. She had been intimate with her pirate, with an entire crew of men around her every day. And yet, he had not exposed her to jealousy enough for her to be able to learn its scent. 

Alucard dropped his gaze to their interwoven hands. “That isn’t anger, Daiyu. What you are smelling is jealousy.”

Daiyu looked down, then back up at him as her brows furrowed. “Jealousy?” Considering what he had shared with her, it made sense. She let out her own self-deprecating laugh. “I still have much to learn. I’m sorry for misunderstanding your emotions.”

He tilted his chin to take in her expression, gut twisting at her inwardly focused condemnation. Alucard released his hold on her waist to reach up and brush a knuckle over her cheek. “Thank you for seeking to understand them without chiding me, regardless of how deserving I may be of chastisement.” He paused, releasing another tight breath. “I’m sorry that I have only had wretched parts of myself to show and share with you after you sacrificed so much to come back.” 

She tilted her head toward his hand, as he brushed her cheek. Sorrow knifed between her ribs at his words. “You have shown me great kindness and forgiveness since my return. I started to realize when you brought me here yesterday, that he—Kinari—knew my heart better than I did. Whenever I spoke of you, he would get this knowing smile and say something about me missing the most important things.” Looking down she muttered, “He was such an ass.”

Despite the numerous questions that flashed through his mind as she spoke, Alucard fought to hold his tongue until she was done speaking. The questions buzzed in the back of his mind, vying for the priority to be voiced first.  _ What have you done that you believe requires forgiveness? How can you call him an ass with so much affection that it hurts? You would speak of me to him—your pirate—Kinari?  _

His greed broke through the melee, offering up the inquiry, “What did he know of your heart, Daiyu?”

Speaking softly, she looked up at him, “That there was one here I already loved.”

For a heart-stopping moment, Alucard thought she had just returned the steady pining that he had been offering her for the past fifteen years of his life. Then, reason and self-loathing reminded him that she had told him many times before she’d left on her travels that she considered him as a brother, a part of her family. The love she had carried for him at that time would have been the love shared between friends and family—philia, a love devoid of romantic attraction. Even if she now felt some attraction for him, that love wouldn’t match the eros within him that burned and yearned and called for her. 

So, he calmly continued with the next question, “What have you done that you believe requires forgiveness?”

Daiyu waited a moment before answering, considering the myriad of emotions she felt coming from him. “That I never gave my emotions and desires in the past a chance to be heard, and that I left at all.” 

Alucard’s mouth opened—and closed. He took another moment to repeat her words in his mind before he asked, perfectly neutral and blank, “Daiyu, what are you doing?” 

“I. . .” She had to stop to swallow. “I’m trying to be honest with you about what has happened over the past three years, and what I’ve come to realize since you kissed me the first time yesterday.” 

Alucard stared down at her, his face a perfect mask devoid of emotion—while everything within him  _ screamed _ . 

Elation poured through him—could he dare to hope, to think that she may actually feel for him as he felt for her? Panic bit at its heels, pouring ice-water through his veins—if that was true, where were they to go from here? Betrayal whispered that if she truly had felt such things for him, why would she have left him? Self-loathing drove them all into a corner with a vicious snarl—she wouldn’t feel such things for him. Faced with the possibility of her love, his first thought had been why had she left him, even when he knew the mind-numbing, crippling pain she had experienced after her parents’ deaths. All that he had shown her, everything he was, he wasn’t worthy of her love. 

Hope stepped forward, brushing a hand over self-loathing with a gentle smile and it felt like Daiyu. 

“If you mean to tell me that you are in love with me, Daiyu, please say it as such.” 

She took a moment to consider all that she had started to realize since returning and seeing him. He was no longer the young man she had left, that had been adored and loved by his mother and father. No, he had been torn, broken, stepped on, used and thrown to the side. All this, and yet he was still striving to be better. He was more than she could imagine deserving in life.

Closing her eyes for a moment, Daiyu took a deep breath before opening them again to look at him. “Adrian  Fahrenheit Țepeș, you bring a light into my life that no other could. I am in love with you. I have been for years, but I was too immature, blind, and stubborn to see what was right in front of me.”

For a very long time, Alucard didn’t move—his eyes blank as he returned her gaze. Then, something within him snapped. 

Alucard lurched forward to envelop her in a bone-crushing embrace, both arms coming up to pull her tight into his chest as his entire body curled around her. Adrenaline shivered through him. He was certain that his heart was beating so erratically that she would be able to feel it, but he didn’t care. His mouth was pressed into the crown of her head, eyes unseeingly scanning over the golden grove as he pleaded with her, “Tell me again?”

Trying to get air into her lungs, Daiyu reached up with her hand and tapped him on the back, “Air—Adrian. . .” 

Alucard pulled away with a vehement curse, hands clamped on her shoulders to push her away from him. His eyes were alight with panic. “Daiyu! Oh God, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

As he released her, she sucked in a lungful of air. After a couple breaths, she let out a nervous laugh, “Yes, I’m okay.” Reaching up, she ran her fingers through his hair again. “I love you. I’m sorry to be so late telling you.”

Sitting there, in a grove that had immediately brought her to his mind when he had found it, with the woman he had been in love with for the longest time in his lap, telling him that she loved him, Alucard fractured. He didn’t even recognize the moisture on his cheeks as he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. Euphoric laughter drove his lips from hers, but couldn’t pull him away from her—foreheads and noses pressed together as he cradled her face—because Daiyu had just told him she loved him. The words he’d been aching, dreaming, praying to hear from her, had just fallen from her lips not once, but  _ twice.  _ And they had sounded so ethereal and perfect and  _ raw  _ and there had been no lie in her eyes. He kissed her again in an attempt to taste the words that had filled the air—reaffirm the reality of this moment. 

Seeing his tears, Daiyu brought her hands up to brush away the tears as they fell. She couldn’t understand how he could still love and forgive her after leaving, and then coming back too late. He was more than she would ever deserve. Kissing him, it felt like she had finally come home. She let out a laugh of her own as her emotions threatened to overwhelm her. Kissing him again, Daiyu reached up and kissed his forehead gently. Pulling back, she leaned into one of his palms. 

Opening her eyes, she caught a glimpse of the forgotten platters of food. “Adrian, I know you’re capable of countless incredible feats, but you really should eat something.”

Alucard’s thumbs just continued to stroke over her cheeks. He couldn’t stop smiling, couldn’t tear his eyes away from hers. He idly wondered if she knew how deep her honey-brown eyes were, how the afternoon light refracting off the surface turned them into twin pools of golden-amber warmth. He didn’t know that he’d ever be able to stop touching her, looking into her eyes,  _ smiling _ —and he didn’t think he ever wanted to. 

“You just told me you are in love with me, and you want me to eat?” Even just repeating the words sent an echoing thrill through him. 

Daiyu looked into his golden eyes, and smiled gently at him. “Yes. Both are of great importance, and neither one should be neglected. You’ve had two bites of food, since drinking a dangerous amount of alcohol. You need food.” 

Emboldened by the light in her eyes, Alucard lifted a brow and teased, “I couldn’t care less about food unless you are feeding it to me.”

Raising a brow, Daiyu dropped one of her hands to smack lightly on his shoulder. “You  _ need _ to care about food.” With that, she started to move to get up. 

Alucard captured her hand as she shifted to stand, bringing it to his lips for one last kiss. “Thank you—”  _ for telling me, for realizing, for accepting me, for loving me, for coming back, for being you,  _ “for everything,” he finally finished, recalling her words to him from that morning. As her gaze trailed back to his, he just offered her another smile filled with as much adoration and unspoken words as he could muster, and released her hand. Despite the unannounced holiday his appetite had taken, he turned back to his forgotten food, obediently picking up a piece of bread to absently munch on. 

Daiyu sat beside him again, before responding. “Likewise. Thank you.” Picking up another piece of fruit, she popped it in her mouth. Chewing it, she leaned her head against his shoulder. 

Alucard revelled in the warmth of having her beside him, hand automatically reaching for hers. His chest clenched with euphoric marvel as their fingers intertwined—as natural as two celestial bodies being pulled into orbit and he would never be able to consider drifting away from her gravity. He leaned his head atop hers, lips curved in blissful content. Between bites of bread and trout, he watched his thumb brush over her skin. 

Sitting there with him, in a golden grove, she wished the moment could last forever. Smiling at the foolishness of the idea, she closed her eyes and committed the moment to memory.

“I love you.” The words were as easy as breathing, but they wrapped around him like an embrace. Alucard let out a sighing laugh. “I would believe this to be fantasy if I thought my imagination was capable of creating such an illusion. . . We will need to work on your training to make Hogo-sha corporeal. And agreeable.”

She let out a laugh at Alucard’s mention of her tattoo. “I’m sure Hogo-sha will come along with the rest of my training.” Bringing their hands up, Daiyu placed a gentle kiss on the back of his hand, then lowered them back down. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to comprehend why you still love me after all this time.” She stroked her thumb over the back of their interwoven hands. “You are extraordinary and I love you. It’s not a dream or illusion.” 

His eyes slid closed, a smile ghosting over his face. “How could anyone  _ not  _ love you, Daiyu? You are bewitching in more than just the physical sense. Your brilliance is such that the stars look at you in awe. Your intelligence is, quite frankly, disquieting at times.” He waited for her burst of amusement at his words to subside, raising their joined hands to stroke the back of a finger along her jawline. He loved the way she laughed. 

Once she had quieted, Alucard continued, his murmur filled with reverence, “Your perception of and passion for the world’s interwoven balance inspires others to join your altruism. Your capacity for tender mercies far exceeds that which should be plausible. If you are still struggling to conceive my love for you, I am rather inclined to continue.” 

Without looking, Daiyu reached and grabbed something off her platter, “No, I think that’s enough for now,” and shoved the food in his mouth.

Alucard’s eyes widened in surprise before his shoulders bowed with suppressed laughter. He nipped her finger as she drew away, before leaning back to chew thoughtfully. The sweet flavors of the dried pear she had so graciously used to choke his words melded with the salted tang of the trout in a beautiful blend of tastes.  _ I should try slicing pear and lemon over the trout when I next bake it.  _

He peeked around her shoulder to the array of food. “I believe you’ve helped me rediscover my appetite. Would you pass me some more of that?” 

She looked over at the platter, a smile playing across her features. Just hearing that he was wanting to eat more made her happier than she would have expected. Grabbing the platter, she brought it onto her lap. “What would you like?”

“Whatever you will give me,” Alucard said, voice dropping as he picked another piece of pear from the plate before placing it in his mouth, eyes glittering with implications. 

Daiyu considered him, with her head tilted to the side. Getting a devilish look in her eyes, she looked down and considered the options before her. Taking a pickled turnip, she topped it with some currants. Turning back to him with an innocent expression, she held the morsel out to him.

Alucard gave the monstrosity a flat look that he then turned on Daiyu. When she didn’t balk, he placed a hand under hers, raising it up as he lowered his head to take the food from her hands with his teeth, a fang scraping along the base of her thumb. “Wicked woman,” he growled up at her, swallowing the abomination thickly before swiping the juice from her hand with the flat of his tongue. His nose wrinkled against the taste. “God, that is repulsive.” 

As he leaned in and took the proffered food, Daiyu’s eyes widened in disbelief. When he licked her hand, a small shudder ran through her body, followed by laughter as she took in his expression of disgust. “You actually ate it. . . You didn’t have to. But I suppose I earned that title.”

“I told you I would, and I am a man of my word.” Despite his brave front, his expression was still tight with revulsion. He smacked his lips against the lingering cloy of flavors. “ _ God,  _ that is _ vile.”  _

A reluctant chuckle tugged from him as Daiyu continued to shake with amusement. Why had he even  _ brought  _ currants? He despised the things. He adamantly tore off a piece of bread, hoping the bite of sourdough would overpower the aftertaste. 

Regaining some of her composure, Daiyu looked up at him from the corner of her eye. “Man of your word indeed. Maybe you should be more proactive in your food choices.” 

Annoyance pricked through his patience at her teasing words. He swallowed down the piece of bread, glowering up at her.  _ He  _ needed to be more proactive in his food choices? The atrocity she had offered him had immediately reminded him of all those times as children when she had quietly goaded him into doing any number of questionable things that his pride had then dictated he couldn’t turn away from. Because that would be a show of weakness and fear, wouldn’t it? And just as it had in those instances, the hunger for retribution filled him. 

Alucard grabbed her chin, fitting his lips over hers. Her lips parted in a gasp at the prick of a fang into her lower lip. A hum of satisfaction rolled in his chest. He firmly rubbed his tongue over hers before pulling away with a smug smirk as her face contorted in disgust. 

“Maybe  _ you  _ should be more careful with what you feed me. The chances of you getting to share the taste are much higher now than it was when we were children.”

Grabbing a piece of cheese, Daiyu popped it into her mouth to help neutralize the flavor he had left on her tongue. She would have liked that kiss, if it hadn’t tasted so bad. Looking up at him with narrowed eyes, she considered all the things he had eaten when they were younger. Some had been in the name of science, but others had been just to see if he would. 

A smirk pulled at the corner of her mouth. “I’ll try to keep that in mind.”

“You would do well to do so.” Alucard’s answering sly smile faded as he watched her adamantly munch on her bit of cheese. Whereas her initial grimace of distaste had been immensely satisfying, guilt was beginning to creep in. He floundered for a moment, casting about for something that could cut through the taste before murmuring, “I’m sorry, that was short-sighted and petty of me. Did you bring any mint leaves with you?”

Daiyu chuckled at his apology. “I may be good, Adrian, but I’m not that good—I don’t think it was too bad. You were at least kind enough to cut the taste before sharing it.” 

He skeptically glanced at her layers of clothes, reaching around her to pilfer a small bit of cheese to pair with the trout and bread. “The amount of tricks you manage to tuck away in all those folds never ceases to amaze me. Are you certain you didn’t bring any with you? Perhaps we should check.” 

He’d intended his words to be innocently teasing, but as her brows shot up, the innuendo of his suggestion flashed through him followed by a rush of heat. She tilted her head at him, jaw working in measured chews as Alucard slowly withdrew from where he’d stretched into her space, arm reaching for the array of foods laid out on the boulder. 

He finally managed a strangled, “Perhaps  _ you  _ should check. How do you stash everything in your garments? Do you have pockets in all of your tunics?”

Humor flashed across her expression. “It’s rare for you to be at a loss for words.” Looking down at what she was wearing, she considered if she had brought anything. Reaching into the breast of her tunic, she searched for the small pouch she’d put there.

Alucard’s eyes widened in shock as he watched. Letting out a small choking sound, he turned away as he bit into a piece of fruit.

“Ah, this might help,” Daiyu said with victory in her voice, pulling out a small pouch. Looking up, she saw Alucard looking the other way, cheeks dusted pink. “You alright?” 

He swallowed thickly before turning back to fix his gaze on the pouch in her hand. He innocently nodded and gestured to the pouch. “And what might that be?”

“It’s to help with the bad breath.” Reaching out, she grabbed his wrist, bringing his hand up, and dropped the pouch, looking at him with an amused glint in her eyes.

Alucard went rigid as the small sack settled in his palm, resisting the urge to yank his hand out from under it. The bag was still tepid with her residual body heat, a light wafting of her aroma escaping as the cool autumn air greedily siphoned the warmth away. 

He bristled at the spike of beguilement in the air, lifting his gaze from her offering. “You are entirely too amused by this.”

“Oh?” Daiyu’s tone was innocent. “Isn’t it just a  _ decent _ amount?”

“There is nothing decent about what just occurred.”

Daiyu let her lips form a small pout. “Well, if you don’t want—you don’t have to use them.” 

The soft moue of her lips was just too inviting. Without even checking to see what the offered herb in question was, Alucard pulled the drawstring open, collected a generous pinch of fine stalks, and placed them on his tongue. The bloom of light citrus tang was an immediate reprieve from the stubborn cling of the undesirable pickled-currant-turnip. Once more, he captured her chin in his hand and tugged her chin up, locking their lips with a disgruntled rumble. 

A smile pulled across Daiyu’s lips as he kissed her again. Reaching up she cupped his cheek, deepening the kiss for a moment before pulling away and taking the pouch that was still in his hand, “Thank you for sharing.”

Alucard followed after her for a moment, intent on sharing more, before reluctantly drew back as she plucked the herbs from him. His hand strayed back to his platter, picking through what remained before tearing off another piece of bread. “I’m unfamiliar with that herb. What is it? Why do you keep it so. . . close?”

Closing the pouch, Daiyu tilted her head. “It’s an herb found in the southern lands in the East. It is treasured for its various uses in cooking, aiding in digestion, and insect repellants.”

His brows raised in careful contemplation. “That could be useful.”

“I think it is.” Turning away for a moment, Daiyu tucked it back in her pocket. Leaning back against the tree she looked up at the sky, thinking of the promise she had made earlier. “I need to leave soon. I. . .” 

Panic shot through him, betrayal following closely after. His hand immediately flashed out to grasp her wrist. She’d said she wouldn’t leave. She’d told him that she would stay unless he sent her away. A resigned voice whispered to him,  _ Of course she’s leaving. Everyone leaves. It was only a matter of time. It’s only what I deserve.  _ But she’d told him she loved him. Why would she leave him now? 

His voice was one of desperate pleading as he tried to make sense of her words and her actions, “What? Where are you going?”

At the sudden panic in the air, Daiyu realized how her words had probably sounded to him. Berating herself for her word choice, she turned toward him. “Hunting, Adrian. I promised to go hunting with Diana.” She reached up to cup his cheek. “I’m sorry, I should have been more clear. I’m not leaving you.” 

The panic tenaciously clung to him. “You’re not?”

She moved to run her fingers through his hair. Looking at him with a gentle expression. “I’m staying.”

Alucard sagged with relief. He forced himself to release the hold he had on her wrist, nodding to himself. The tremble in his fingers as he drew back caught his gaze and he resolutely closed his hand into a fist. He attempted to cover the residual hysteria with an unsteady inquiry, “You promised to go hunting with Diana?”

Watching his actions, Daiyu wanted to take his clenched fist in her own and help return them to the easy atmosphere that had been present moments before. “Yes, when she and Nelika helped me reach you, I promised to go hunting with them.” She paused in a moment of consideration. “I could ask them if we could hunt at another time, if you would like?” 

Alucard let out a small huff of a laugh, “No, I don’t believe Diana would take kindly to me depriving her of a hunt.” He gave Daiyu a soft smile, turning to pull her into a tight embrace. “As much as I would like to monopolize your company, I will be able to survive into the evening without your watchful eye, I assure you.”

Daiyu wrapped her arms up around his waist and pulled him in closer. “You would be right about that, but Diana forgives quickly.” She turned and laid her head on his chest. “I believe in your abilities. Would it be alright if I asked a favor?”

“Always.”

“Do you have any extra clothes or fabric in the castle? If I meet Diana right now, like this, she might have a heart attack.”

Alucard couldn’t help but laugh at that. His tone turned roguish as he replied, “Well, we do kind of stink.”

Daiyu let out a soft snort. “Yes, we do.”

He nodded, pulling them both to their feet. “I will bring back what I can. The castle had a lot of. . .  _ visitors  _ that left their belongings ownerless. Clothes are in ample supply. Do you have any requests?”

Daiyu considered the implications in his words. “If possible, something practical and functional would be nice.” 

Alucard grimaced. “Vampires are anything but practical. I will do my best. Would you like me to take you back to your nest first, or leave you to find your way?”

She thought about what it could mean for him, if she just sent him away to find her own way. “If you are willing, I would like to go back together.”

Relief and gratitude rolled through him. Alucard let out a measured breath as he began collecting and repacking the leftover food from their meal. She always seemed to know what he really desired, regardless of what he said or did—the last thing he wanted was to be alone at the moment. 

He nodded again, picking up their plates from the ground. “I would love to. How would you like to travel?” 

Folding the blanket, Daiyu considered the options. “I chose last time. Your turn to choose.”

His movement slowed as he considered, meticulously arranging and rearranging the jars and cloth-bound foods. It would be most efficient to phase them again, but he didn’t want to be efficient about their time together. He would have been delighted to just sit beside her and watch the day pass by. But Daiyu was all about practicality, and the sun indicated that they had already passed the afternoon and were inching towards dusk—the optimal time for a hunt. 

By means of a compromise between his logic and his desires, Alucard responded, “I think I would like a flight. It may help clear my head.” 

Daiyu nodded in agreement as she handed him the folded square. “I think a flight could be good for both of us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hope you enjoyed reading! Drop us a comment if you have a question or just generally want to scream with some fellow fans. o((>ω< ))o See you next chapter for some smut and angst~! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧


	13. A Study in Erogenous Zones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daiyu learns first-hand that vampires, and dhampirs, are particularly sensitive to neck bites. It doesn't end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~! We hope you all had a lovely holiday season. Sorry about the random drop in updates. Things got a bit crazy! But, our newest distraction has wrapped up (we may end up posting it eventually ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ who's to know) so we should be back on track here! We hope you enjoy the latest crazily charged chapter~!

Alucard picked up the basket resolutely, before hesitating. It would be more convenient for both of them if he wasn’t holding the basket. He turned toward Daiyu and she plucked the handles from his grasp wordlessly, flashing him a coy, knowing smile. He chuckled lightly in gratitude. 

“Shall we embark?” Alucard asked, gallantly offering his arms for her to wrap an arm over his shoulder and allow him to secure an arm under her knees. Daiyu’s expression turned impish as she skirted around his outstretched arms. He silently rose a brow, gaze trailing after her as she circled around behind him. 

“What are you—” Alucard’s words were cut off with a surprised whoosh of air as Daiyu leapt onto his back, arms secured over his collarbones. 

“Preparing to embark,” Daiyu said with laughter in her voice, as she brought her legs up to wrap around his waist.

Alucard tried to convince himself that he was not going to be distracted by the press of her heels into his gut, but his body adamantly betrayed him, heat flushing through his limbs. More so than the press of her heels, there was the firm squeeze of her thighs against the base of his ribcage, the cushion of her breasts against his back, the moist flush of her breath against his neck. He tried valiantly not to think of how very different the situation would be if she were pressed to his chest instead of his back. 

He failed. 

“Mind your head,” Alucard warned softly, reaching back with the intent to secure his hair into a messy coil at the nape of his neck. 

Daiyu leaned back to avoid his reaching grasp. Snatching the bit of leather from his hand, she raised the basket in front of him. “Would you hold this?” 

As her center of gravity shifted, Alucard threw out a hand behind him, securing his forearm under her hips. His jaw clenched as he lifted his other hand to support the bottom of the hefted basket. Then her fingers were carding through his hair and her nails lightly scraping over his scalp and a low sound akin to a purr escaped past his gritted teeth. Having her on his back, touching him like this, was likely the sweetest torture he would ever have the pleasure of being subjected to. 

Considering his position, Daiyu couldn’t imagine it being comfortable. She was also working hard  _ not _ to get too worked up by his reaction. The idea that he would be so vocal about everything made her want to see what other sounds she could pull from him. 

Deftly tying his hair, she leaned forward, snagging the basket again. “Thank you for your consideration—I believe we’re ready to go now,” she whispered and placed a closed lipped kiss behind his ear. 

Alucard inhaled sharply at the press of her lips, releasing the breath in a measured exhale as he nodded and prepared to break free of gravity’s hold on them. He stilled at the sudden realization that he hadn’t the slightest idea where to put his hands. 

As he stilled, Daiyu tilted her head, “Is something wrong?”

Her words snapped him from the flurry of his thoughts. “Everything is fine,” he reassured her tightly before pushing into the air. 

As her arms and legs tightened around him at the sudden movement, his hands found their way to the back of her thighs in an attempt to offer stability. He took in a deep breath as they gained altitude, the thin, icy air tugging against his clothes and bound hair and settling the blush of interest that had been building in his chest. 

The forest spilled out below them in a blanket of varying emerald shades and streaks of sapphire to mark the network of tributaries that wove between the old trunks. The sun was drifting low enough to paint the world a hazy gold that dripped magic with each gentle ray. Heavy snow clouds drifted through the sky, tugged by a northern wind. 

Alucard took another deep breath, content warming through him as he looked over the scenery that had become his homestead. Despite that, he knew his true home currently had her arms wrapped around his neck, resting her temple against his jaw. He still couldn’t truly grasp the reality of it all—her inclination to stay with him and forgive him for all that he’d done, her proclaimed love for him, her desire for him. . .

He truly hoped that, despite his overeager response to her first show of willingness to grant his request for her to show all of this to him, she would continue to reaffirm her words again and again. At the thought, his grip on her thighs tightened incrementally. Alucard noticed with interest that Daiyu—very determinedly—did not react. The only visible reaction was for her to adjust her grip on the basket handles. Alucard then had a very dangerous thought— _ I wonder if I could pull a reaction from her. _

Though he was resolutely inclined to push the thought aside, temptation slipped in past the cracks in his resolve and whispered that just a soft gasp or yelp wouldn’t be enough to comprise them. What would it hurt? A thrill of impish desire agreed that she had unfairly kissed him before they had left and had been blatantly teasing him. It was only justified retaliation.

And—like the weak man that he was—Alucard caved, sliding his hands up her thighs to cup the swell of her ass. 

As he grabbed her, she stiffened. With how intentional his movements had been, she knew he was doing it on purpose. Logically, she knew she should give a minimal response. It was already getting close to prime hunting time. Her own arousal and mischief argued that if he was wanting to play such games, he should be prepared for the consequences. 

Turning her head, she whispered into his ear with a hiss, “If you don’t behave, I might do something that will make you  _ drop _ me.”

An eyebrow arched at her response. Though it was not either of the reactions he had expected, a flurry of anticipation fluttered through his stomach at her words. “You think I would ever drop you, Daiyu? I have been training my flight far longer than you have even thought to have wings.” He tilted his chin just enough to give her a smirk full of taunting before lightly kneading the flesh in his hands. 

Daiyu bit her lower lip, then met his smirk with a look of pure challenge, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” before ducking her head and nuzzling behind his ear gently for a moment. She flicked her tongue out, then opened her mouth and caught the skin and tendon behind his ear with her teeth, biting down with enough pressure to leave a mark, but not break his skin.

Alucard had spent many rigorous hours with his father, training to be sure that flight was as easy as breathing, as reflexive as bringing a forearm up to block an incoming strike. There was one such week as a boy where his father had insisted he spend the entire week levitating, sleep included. All of his years of training did not prepare him for the beguilement that was Daiyu. 

True to his word, they did not fall, but their progression across the sky came to an abrupt halt as the world seemed to stutter around him. Alucard’s head fell back with a silent gasp, his entire body shuddering beneath her as the ridges of her teeth captured his skin. His fingers dug into her in response.

Daiyu couldn’t help the hum that escaped her as he gripped her hard enough to bruise, barely remembering to keep a hold on the basket. He hadn’t dropped her, but his reaction was more than she had expected. Recognition that she had unintentionally gone too far started to edge at her conscience as she was engulfed with the scent of his titillation. 

With exceptional self control, she released his skin, laving a few kitten licks over the mark she had left on him. Taking a breath, she looked back up at him with a glint in her eyes, “You are impressive—and while this current course of action is  _ exceptionally _ appealing, I still have a promise to keep.” 

A choked inhalation left him at the hot stroke of her tongue over his skin, sensitized by the start of a bruise to compliment the streaks across his shoulder blade. Alucard could barely comprehend the praise that she had gifted him. Some part of him must have recognized it, though, a roughened groan of pure carnality tearing from him in response. 

At the initial contact of blunted teeth against his neck, every rational thought had fled in the wake of boneless, molten desire. Why was she on his back? He wanted nothing more than to have the liquid heat pressed against his lower back replace the dull, driving pressure of her heels against his groin. But even that low, throbbing ache was something he would be loath to relinquish. What he really needed was to have her mouth on him again—experience that sharp reprimand of teeth pillowed by soft lips and enveloped in a heat that consumed everything in its wake. 

“Ah—again.” His voice was a rasping, breathless whine. The hand on her right cheek lifted to search out the back of her neck, tugging soft and insistent toward his bared jugular.  _ “Harder.” _

The pleading in his voice almost undid her, in the same moment it slammed into her how  _ close _ he was. As he moved to guide her where he wanted her, Daiyu was faced with one of the greatest temptations of her life. Oh, she wanted to bite him again, but this was not the time or place for what would follow if she did.

She turned her head so she was facing away from his neck and took a slow deep breath. “Adrian,” her voice was measured and calm, “you need to take me back to my nest.”

“No.” His voice was torn between a demanding snarl and a pleading whimper, head craning to brush his lips against the inside of her arm in an attempt to entice her.

She took another breath. “Yes.” Her voice was more firm than before.

The steel in her voice pulled on his mind and Alucard frowned. He nipped at the skin under his lips, his reply a decided growl, “Why?”

It took everything in her  _ not _ to react to the bite on her arm. She knew if she showed him any weakness, it would be over. Daiyu’s tone remained calm, but left no room for question, “Adrian—Nest.” 

Alucard didn’t respond. She wanted to go to the nest? They would go to the nest. 

Scarlet eyes fixed on the dome of bowed branches and vines that marked her nest a moment before they disappeared in a blur of red. His hands fit under her biceps and shoulders, lifting her looped arms over his head to toss her past the opening. The jarred foods clacked together as Daiyu released her hold on the basket, maneuvering her body to land in a crouch, face upturned to meet Alucard. He swung in a moment after, stalking toward her. His eyes were hungry, focused, and flooded with crimson emotion as he moved forward with every intention of finishing what they had started.

Alucard went rigid as his gaze fell on her face—took in her stance. She felt the need to defend herself from him—to fight him? All at once, he understood that she hadn’t been inviting him back to her nest as a relocation. She’d said no—Daiyu had  _ told him no— _ and he had moved against her wishes. He had moved  _ her  _ against her wishes. His hand went to clutch at the scars across his arms. The one thing he had sworn he would never do—the one choice that he would sooner die than take from another—he had almost taken from Daiyu. 

The red drained away from his eyes. Soul-crushing terror filled him as he took a halting step back. What was he doing? 

“Daiyu?” His voice was a plea for forgiveness and a desperate cry for help. 

Daiyu rose slightly from her stance, relaxing her tensed muscles. Guilt broke through her emotions. What had been meant as teasing had led her to discovering one of his paralyzing weaknesses. By his reaction, she assumed it was the first time someone had hit it. Then to be told no—it was no wonder he had reacted so strongly.

“Adrian, it’s alright,” her tone was soothing, like when she was trying to calm a spooked horse.

_ “It is not alright!”  _ Alucard vehemently snapped back, grip tightening around his arm. He hardly noticed the bite of his sharpened nails pricking against his skin. 

She glanced down for a moment to his hand then back up at him. Guilt tightened its hold around her chest, pricked with fear. She had brought this on, but he had stopped.

“It will be.” Her words were spoken like an oath, then softened again. “I don’t think either of us were prepared for what my actions would bring about.”

She could smell his terror and hatred cloying her senses. If he left now, she didn’t want to think what he would do. The remorse, worry, and sadness she was feeling—he would likely misunderstand.

“Would you tell me, what do you smell on me?” 

“I—”  _ can't.  _ He captured the word between clenched teeth. She deserved to have any answer he could give her. He hadn’t earned the privilege of telling her he couldn’t. But the dread that pulled at him was tightening his throat. He swallowed hard in an attempt to push down the fear of what he would find lingering in the air. 

Alucard took in a short breath, face contorting in a grimace. “Fear. Regret. Disappointment—” 

He couldn’t continue. He’s done enough to earn all of that and more. He turned to leave. 

“Would you allow me to explain  _ why _ I’m feeling those?” Her voice was gentle, with pleading undertones. 

“I believe the reason to be quite self-explanatory,” Alucard responded tightly. 

If he had to hear from her that she was afraid of him, that he had become as much a monster as the ones he’d seen fit to vanquish, that she had been mistaken—that she regretted being with him, loving him—he wouldn’t be able to continue. Regardless of how gently she explained herself. 

“To make sure, I would still like to elaborate. I would be surprised if what you’re thinking and what I am actually feeling are the same.” Daiyu’s voice was low as she tried keep him from running.

Despite the need to flee twitching and pulsing through his limbs, he’d made her a promise. He wouldn’t run from her. And she’d made it very clear that she did not want him to leave. Despite everything he’d done to be deserving of her asking for him to leave. If she told him she never wanted to see him again, he would understand. He could do little more than force stillness through his form, and wait to hear her verdict.

When he didn’t move, Daiyu took a calming breath. “Thank you,” she murmured, before continuing, “I’m afraid because I fear you running from me and not coming back. Even the  _ thought _ ,” a quiver shook her body, “that you might hurt yourself or not be a part of my life,  _ terrifies _ me—I feel guilt for my actions and the effect they had on you. It was not my intent to use one of your erogenous points against you. I’m sorry—I didn’t know.”

Reflecting on what she was feeling, Daiyu tried to understand what he could be understanding as disappointment. “I am not disappointed, but feel sorrow for what my actions have caused you to think and feel about yourself. You have never done anything to disappoint me—from when we were young until now, you continue to inspire and amaze me.” 

Alucard searched the space before him unseeingly as he tried to understand what she was saying to him. He moved one foot back to look at her, his face one of hopeful skepticism. “You. . . you aren’t afraid of me?”

Daiyu felt her heart wrench in her chest at his question, “No, I’m not afraid of you.”

“Why?”

“Because I trust you. I know you would never hurt me.”

“You knew my intentions,” he gestured to the entrance of the nest, “I—I  _ manhandled  _ you, Daiyu. You felt the need to defend yourself from me, and I only wish you had. How. . .” 

Though each word pained him, he needed her to know—needed her to see him and all of his broken atrocities. She still believed there was something in him, something worth saving, something of value. He needed to show her that those parts of him had been beaten and bruised and extinguished. He had to protect her, even if it meant never again seeing the way her eyes turned to liquid warmth as she smiled at him. 

“How do you keep reaching for me? What do you see in me that is worth saving?”

“I only felt the need to help you understand. One of the things I love about you, Adrian, is your continual desire to know and respect others. I knew, once you understood, no matter how hard it was for you, you would listen.” She took a small step toward him, but stopped. She didn’t know if he would want her to approach him. “I can’t help but reach for you. You were always there—every time. When I had nothing left, it was thoughts of you that kept me going.” 

“You have more faith in me than you should. Self-preservation has never been a strong suit of yours.”

He thought  _ she  _ had too much faith in  _ him?  _ Daiyu had to resist shaking her head. “I don’t think so. If either of us should have shaken faith in the other, I think you have our roles reversed. Strong suit or not, I seem to be living well enough.” 

“I was going to  _ rape  _ you, Daiyu.” Alucard choked on the words, pain and self-loathing cutting through him—grabbing hold of his gut and yanking. The reality of it all came crashing down with his admittance. He backed up to the wall of branches, sinking down to the floor. His hands shook as they came up to dig into his retrained hair. He couldn’t look at her. “I. . .” He couldn’t say it again, the rest of his words escaping in a hiss of anguish. 

“No, you weren’t.” Her words were soft but sure. Unsure if her moving would cause him more distress, she simply sat where she was. 

Alucard scoffed, a self-deprecating smile marring his features. “I was going to force myself upon you when you had no desire to lay with me. What word would you use to describe that, if not rape?” 

Daiyu took a calming breath. “Did you really want to find your release in the sky? You might not have fallen when I first bit you, but even you are only so good. I do want to be one with you, but especially for our first time together, I believe it should be a bit more. . . intentional.” 

His heart stuttered at her words, but he pushed on past the emotion—the  _ elation _ —because she hadn’t answered him. How could she still not see it? Was she so blind to what had been moments from occurring—a moment that would have undoubtedly destroyed them both. “You having the desire does not change that, in that moment, it would not have been intentional and would not have been as you describe. How can you still speak of being with me—being  _ one with me _ —after I had such indifference toward your choice and will?” 

“Because as soon as you understood it was not what I wanted, you stopped. Your desires in that moment were understandable. My actions would have led any man to assume what my desires were. Until I was facing you, I hadn’t made it  _ explicitly _ clear that I didn’t want it.” She bowed her head to rest her forehead in a palm. “I was careless and inconsiderate—I’m sorry.” 

Alucard let out a heavy sigh. “You insist upon apologizing when you owe me no amends. And then feed me unspeakables with no remorse.” 

He’d meant to introduce some levity back into the air, but it felt flat and he couldn’t quite manage a smile. His chin lifted and dropped once more without finding the courage to catch her gaze. “Please. Don’t apologize for this. If anyone should be feeling sorrow for the event that transpired, it is me.” 

He took in a deep breath, thoughts trailing back to what had led them back to her nest—she had made a promise to Diana. A glance outside of the nest confirmed that the sun had sunk below the horizon. The moon would be rising soon, and with it, the chances of a hunt would dwindle. Dread bubbled up from the well within him, fixing a shackle around an ankle to drag him deeper. 

He would need to leave her, go back to the castle and all that it represented. Walk past Sumi and Taka and know how they would disparage him for his hypocrisy. Though he wanted nothing more than to ask if she would afford him one more mercy, let him stay in her nest and wait for her return, he knew he didn't deserve any more of her goodwill. 

“You have a hunt,” he ground out. “I should leave.”

Daiyu lifted her head to look at him. “Unless you want to leave, please stay.” She turned her head to look out the gap. “I have a hunt, but there is no scheduled time for it. The reason I wanted to hunt this evening was so we could do so before the storm arrived.”

At the mention of the storm, his mind offered up the image of the heavy snow clouds that had been steadily blanketing the area. Alarm flashed through him—there was a snow storm about to ravage the forest, and they were in a  _ nest.  _ He was on his feet in a moment. 

Daiyu wouldn’t come into the castle, they would need to find a way to fortify the interwoven vines and branches to keep the warmth in, the moisture out. It would be best for him to collect the duvets from the branches for her, bring them back into the nest. There was a tightly woven, burlap tarp that he could tie above her nest to keep the moisture out—if he remembered correctly, it had been reinforced with a water resistant substance and charmed against flame as well. 

He came up short before he could leap for the ground, his eyes finding her horse where it was stubbornly searching the frozen ground for a hint of green. “Fuck. What are we going to do with your  _ horse?  _ I understand your aversion to the castle, but I could at least house him in the stables? We would have to keep him away from the vampiric equines, but—” 

“Adrian—what are you talking about?” 

He was standing close enough to the opening in the vines that he could smell the crisp, cool caress of snow in the air. “We are going to be in the midst of the storm shortly. You are in a  _ nest.  _ There is much work to be done if we are going to be able to fortify it before the brunt of the storm hits.”

Rising to her feet, Daiyu approached him. “Another reason I admire you, you’re concerned for the welfare of others.” A small smile played at her lips. “While I’m sure Chairo would be grateful for the shelter, the bedding you’ve already provided will be more than enough.”

Alucard gave her an apprehensive glance, stepping outside of her nest to levitate in the air beside the parting of vines. “You are in a  _ nest,”  _ he repeated by means of explanation, retrieving one of the duvets from a branch and bringing it back to offer up to her. 

She tilted her head at him. It was true, he didn’t know about the training she had undergone to master her fire abilities. “Yes, and I could sleep on a rock by the river in the coming storm and not be in any danger.” With that she plucked the blanket from his hands, tossing it inside, before vaulting up to assist in gathering the quilts.

He couldn’t help but watch transfixed as she leapt between the limbs, agile as a cat. Alucard roughly shook himself, turning away to tug another quilt free from the trees. He had no right to watch her with so much open admiration and desire, he needed to focus on making certain she would be able to survive the storm in comfort. 

“While I am glad to be made aware of another newfound ability of yours, not being in danger and being comfortable are not one and the same.” The cool brush of moisture against the back of a hand drew his attention. He looked up, dismay filling him as he watched the first flakes of snow drop free from the clouds. They were out of time. 

“While you retrieve the bedding, I can go back to the castle and gather the necessities. If you would ride your horse back to the castle once you are done, I can stable him and then bring you back to your nest with the fortifications. Would that be acceptable?” 

She looked down from where she was retrieving the pillow from the highest branch. “Are they not the same? If that is what you would like, we can do that.”

“If all I can do is show you the difference between comfort and survival, I will have fulfilled one of life’s greatest challenges,” Alucard sighed tiredly before moving toward the castle, trying to remember where that tarp had been the last time he’d seen it. 

Daiyu let out a burst of laughter at his exasperation. “I look forward to learning from you.” 

Grabbing the last of the blankets she nimbly jumped down and approached Chairo to lead him toward the castle. As she led him through the forest, she thought about the things Alucard had shared with her. He thought he’d been about to rape her? Did he not know his own desires? If that had been his intent, he wouldn’t have stopped just by seeing her.

She ducked under a low hanging branch. More than anything, she didn’t know how to help him believe her. No matter what she said, he seemed to have it set in his mind that he was in the wrong and deserving of punishment. She didn’t expect them to address the topic again tonight—it was something for another time. 

* * *

Alucard flashed through the halls of the castle. He finally found his quarry in the greenhouse, smothered by a toppled apparatus his mother had used to study microcellular irregularities. Very gingerly, he righted the device, brushing a finger over one of the cracked lenses. He’d made a mess of everything. Every mechanism, book, structure, piece of décor—all of it seemed to weep with an anguish that could never be repaired. 

He collected the tarp and moved on. One thing at a time. The storm would not wait for him to reminisce. 

With the canvas and some rope added to the sack slung over his shoulder, Alucard proceeded to the washroom. After the siege on the castle to expunge Dracula’s court, he had cleaned out the abandoned rooms. Once he had been sufficiently inebriated, he’d carefully laundered the garments and arranged them into stacks to sit beside the machines and gather dust—much like everything else in the castle. 

He now approached the stacks warily, gaze sweeping over them in search of something that Daiyu would deem ‘practical and functional’. After impatience grew to be an unavoidable presence in his mind, he grabbed as many varying stacks as he could reasonably cram into the drawstring bag he’d brought with him. 

Satisfied that Daiyu would not be without clothes, his mind wandered to the subject of warmth. Despite her insistence on and ability to regulate her temperature, Alucard knew what it meant to keep a small part of yourself awake to not break the drain of concentration and energy. No matter how seemingly insignificant that drain, she wouldn’t be truly relaxed and able to surrender herself completely to the cradle of sleep if she was regulating her temperature. A bleeding melancholy filled him as he recognized where he would need to go to find something to keep her warm. Afterall, vampires were unaffected by the cold and there had only ever been one human woman to inhabit the castle. 

He pushed against the door to his parent’s shared chamber, recoiling as the hinges protested years of neglect. His jaw went slack as he took in the meticulous care that had gone into preserving the room. Alucard had feared that this would have been the first room that his father had torn through in his rage, but everything looked exactly as it had when he’d been a child. He almost expected his mother to step into the doorway with a look of mischievous chiding. 

A huff of a sob escaped him at the conjured image, eyes shining as he reverently entered the chamber. His fingertips brushed over her vanity as he slowly made his way to the armoire. The bust that would hold her golden locket was achingly empty—the only thing out of place. His chest wrenched at the sight of her mother’s favorite dresses, hung and waiting for their owner. Unable to take another moment of the bittersweet torture, he resolutely snatched one of her fur-lined cloaks, collected the charmed metal chest from under their bed, and tore from the room. The door closed behind him with a hollow, mournful whump.

Alucard mechanically stopped in the kitchen to fill another basket of provisions—unseeingly settling a bottle of red wine amongst the preserved foods—before heading out to await Daiyu’s arrival to the stables. 

* * *

Coming into view of the castle, Daiyu led Chairo around to the stable entrance. When Alucard came into view her eyebrows shot up. He looked like he was getting ready to move. There was a basket in one hand and a massive sack slung over his shoulder. In his other arm there was a small chest resting on a cloak. Daiyu paused, looking at the cloak for a moment. Grief twisted in her chest, settling in her stomach. She knew whose cloak that was. 

Swallowing, she closed the remaining distance. “You look—well prepared.”

“Winter is something people generally find worth preparing for,” Alucard snarked back to her, holding the cloak and the chest aloft. “If you will take these, I can stable your horse. I’ll be sure to keep him away from any straying fangs.”

Taking the things he offered, she held out the lead for Chairo, “Thank you.” 

He nodded by means of returning her thanks before collecting the reins and pulling the horse into the stables. Despite a handful of light disagreements with the beast, Alucard was able to bed him down in a far corner stable, tossing a generous amount of fodder in with him before releasing the worn rope halter from around his ears. The horse snorted, pawing at the ground uneasily. Alucard ignored the animal, but dutifully checked the locks on the stables for the vampiric steeds, giving them stern looks as he passed. 

Alucard frowned when he came out to find Daiyu where he had left her, resolutely clutching the cloak and chest, gaze open and expectant. He sighed, taking the chest from where it rested atop the heavy cape to set it on the ground next to the basket of food. The storm had moved in enough to have left a light cover of snow along the ground and over Daiyu’s shoulders. Unfurling the material, he lifted it around her shoulders, careful to keep his fingertips from brushing against her. 

His gaze was heavy as it settled on her. The recognition in her eyes when she’d spied the cloak hadn’t gone unnoticed. “It’s a cloak, Daiyu, not an heirloom. It’s meant to be used.” His lips lifted in a melancholy smile as he pulled the hood over her head, fingertips tracing over the deep velveteen maroon that covered the plush fur inlay. “Besides, it’s your color.” 

Standing there wrapped in his mother’s cloak, Daiyu had to work not to let her anger show through how much it bothered her, that he wouldn’t touch her. Taking a deep breath, she leaned down, grabbed the basket of food, and turned to head back toward the nest. 

“Thank you for the cloak.” It came out more curtly than she had intended.

Alucard stood, blinking after her in a dumbfounded haze. She was angry—that much he could clearly scent, the emotion potent enough to hit like a physical blow. What left him rooted where he stood, staring after her, was how her eyes had flashed, bright and amber and avian. An answering flame of temper flashed through him. 

She was angry  _ now?  _ That she felt emotion to rival that which he had evoked in her by speaking of Sumi and Taka was like a knife to the kidney. But more than that, seeing that she was angry at him now but had felt nothing but patience, sorrow, and compassion for him when he had moved forward to  _ rape her— _ it made him want to rage.

“Why are you angry?” Alucard called after her, not moving from where he stood beside the metal chest, his voice every bit as brusque as hers had been.  __

As soon as Daiyu turned away, she knew she needed to calm down. It hurt that he seemed to only hear what he agreed with—discarding the rest of what she had shared as her being, blind? Naïve? He had asked for her to let him see her, and this was his response? 

More than all of these, it was that he seemed intent on treating her like some fragile trinket that might break at the slightest touch. Reason argued, he had lost so much and how he was acting was a reflection of all that had been taken from him. Even so, her entire life she had been raised to be capable and competent. Was she perfect? No. But that he didn’t seem to hear her filled her with a twisted kind of rage and grief.

She stopped at his question. Taking a few deep breaths, she turned to look at him. “What do you see me as?”

Alucard drew up short, brows furrowing in irked confusion. “Excuse me?”

Daiyu stood in silence, her eyes flashing amber. “ _ What _ do you see me as?” 

“At the moment? Irrational, headstrong, and irksome.”

Daiyu leveled him with a flat look. “When you are with me, or when you think of me, what is there? What am I to you?”

Alucard watched her in exasperation. Why wouldn’t she just tell him why she was angry? “What do you want me to say, Daiyu? How am I supposed to describe everything you are to me? Shall I put it in sonnets or in prose? Have I not been clear enough to you? You are my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. You are my oldest friend and my deepest temptation. You hold my heart in your hands—lifting me up or watching me bleed. You are my home, my life, my everything. What  _ more  _ do you  _ want  _ from me?” 

He wasn’t sure when he had moved or if she had come to him, but he was glowering down at her now, close enough to watch her breath curl through the air in clouds of vapor. 

Amber receded back to deep honey brown as Daiyu listened to him. “All this, yet you won’t touch me?” Her voice was quiet and plaintive. 

Everything within him stilled. He searched her gaze quietly, hoping against all logic that the answers would be written there for him. Open, raw pleading was all he could find in her eyes. His hands twitched with the need to cradle her face, brush his thumbs over her cheekbones and whisper penance against her lips. He obstinately resisted the pull, the events of hours prior settling heavily as an anchor against his chest. 

“Some temptations are best to resist until you are prepared for what follows. I can’t hurt you, Daiyu.  _ I can’t.” _

Closing her eyes Daiyu took a deep, calming breath. Her conflicting emotions were making it difficult. This was something she had wanted to address, after both of them had been able to take some time to calm down. “You’re not going to hurt me. I’m not a trinket that needs to be safely stored in a box—it hurts worse when you pull away.”

“I—” he started and stopped just as abruptly.

Was that how he’d been making her feel? Daiyu had been one of the most capable people he’d known for as long as he could remember. He’d found himself on his back, at her mercy, after more sparring matches than he could remember to boast about. Alucard had never felt anything but awe toward her gentle, quiet power—had never felt the need to do anything but show the world a glimpse of the amazing, beautiful, capable woman he knew her to be. In his attempts to treasure the new facets of herself that she had gifted him with—to cherish their newfound intimacy and closeness—had he been stifling her? 

His hand caught hers as she once again moved to go back to the nest. He tugged against her gently, eyes confused and conflicted as he saw how her hand fit in his, how readily their fingers twined together. His voice was very quiet when he inquired, “Am I stifling you, Daiyu?” 

As he caught her hand, she reflexively tightened her grip. Looking up at him, she regretted losing her temper. He was just trying to do what he thought was best for them. “What do you mean by stifling?” 

How could he better explain this to her? The words she’d used—was he putting her in a box, oppressing her, choking her light, clipping her wings? After all Kinari had done to help her be free, was he shackling her to him—condemning her to his own fate? 

Taking a steadying breath, he settled on, “In my attempts to care for you, have I made you feel less?”

Anger flared again, but she kept it under the surface. “No. While parts of me struggle to grasp how you’re able to still love me after I left—your kindness is not what I’m struggling with.” Her anger drained out of her. “It’s hard for me when you seem to refuse to see yourself as anything but a monster. Why won’t you see the good in yourself?” 

“I don’t think there is enough good left in me worth mentioning. I’d turned away from that. Grown numb to the atrocities that I did in the name of self-defence. You pulled me back from that, but now I am just beginning to see how far down I’d let myself slip. That you still think so highly of me baffles me.” He finally lifted his head to return her gaze. “I’m sorry. I’d like to ask you to help me see what you see in me, but I believe you’ve been trying to do so. I fear I may be becoming as dogmatic as my father in his last days.”

“If you were becoming like your father, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. While it is gallant of you, I wish you wouldn’t insist on trying to carry all the burdens and blame alone.” She lifted their joined hands to gently kiss the back of his hand. “There is so much good in you, I don’t know where to start. Even when the world has been nothing but cruel to you, you still find the beauty in it. Where others see shadows, you look past to see the light. No matter the repercussions for yourself, you prioritize the needs and concerns of others above your own. Where any other man would proceed without consideration for others, you care so deeply and find strength beyond reason. You haven’t turned away from goodness. . . You’ve forgotten how to see it in yourself.” 

Alucard pulled her into his chest to hide the first traitorous tear that tracked down his cheek. That she would say such things without anything but open love and sincerity in her eyes gave him more hope than he thought he deserved. But he would try to see himself as she saw him—as much as it terrified him, he would try to trust her words. Afterall, she was the light that shone through the shadows. 

When he was certain no more tears would fall, he dipped his chin, leaving a kiss against the top of her cloaked head. “Thank you.” 

He drew in a shuddering breath before he released her, turning back to the stable doors to collect the chest. “We have a nest to fortify, and I believe we have outlived the storm’s benevolence.” When he turned back, she was standing with her arm outstretched, ready to accept him again. He released a breath through his nose, shaking his head slightly in amazement as he let their fingers become intertwined once more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. . . hunting was postponed. And the winter storm is just rolling in. (/ω＼*)……… (/ω•＼*)


	14. The Winter Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daiyu's patience runs out and the winter storm hits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've been sitting on this long enough that we decided you guys have waited long enough. So, have another chapter! Alright, time for us to earn that explicit rating~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

With the snow blowing around them, Daiyu took yet another deep breath. Reminding herself that being cross with him wouldn’t help. He was trying to listen, and reflecting on it, she could have been more clear. Holding her hand out as he approached her from retrieving the chest, she noticed him shake his head.

Taking her hand he quickly stepped in next to her, phasing them in the same moment. As soon as they were standing below the nest, he stepped away from her as if he might get burned and without looking at her started to rummage through the sack he’d brought. Irritation flared under her skin and spread throughout her again. What was it going to take for him to actually comprehend and believe what she was trying to convey to him?

Having pulled the tarp and rope out of the sack, he held it up to her. “As I said previously, vampires are not noted for their practicality, but I took what I could. If you wouldn’t mind taking the provisions inside, I can get the snow cover put up.”

Daiyu tried—she really tried,  _ not  _ to let her indignation become anything else. It didn’t work. A small part of her could see that he was simply being caring and looking out for her well being, but she didn’t need that. She needed to be close to him. The one thing he seemed determined  _ not _ to give her. Wordlessly, she took the sack and other provisions and crouched before launching herself up to the nest in a single jump.

Once she was inside, she dropped the sack unceremoniously in the center of the nest. Even after she had told him that his pulling away was what hurt, he was continuing to do so. His actions and emotions she had smelled coming from him—he was afraid. More than that, he was  _ terrified _ . A part of her fractured at the idea he had interpreted his own emotions and desires as something to fear and hate, but it was swallowed in her ire. 

Moving, she placed the chest and basket of food next to the sack. Straightening, she glared around the space as she took the cloak off. She needed a place to hang it. As if the branches knew what she was in search of, a smooth limb bowed out, creating a place for Lisa’s cloak. Carefully hanging it, she brushed a gentle touch over it, then turned to remake the pile of duvets into a bed.

As Alucard nimbly leaped between the trunks above the nest, securing the ropes with easy precision, he couldn’t help but notice that Daiyu was still upset. In fact, it seemed that she’d gone straight past upset and on to  _ livid.  _ Readjusting the ropes south of the entrance lower to put the tarp at an incline to allow the snow to clump and fall away, he was filled with reluctance to go back into the nest. Just the memory of the scant instances in which he had experienced Daiyu’s fury was enough to fill him with apprehension. He was reminded once more of the agreement he’d made to not run, inwardly groaning. 

Securing a hold on one of the limbs above the nest, he swung past the entrance. “The snow cover should hold for this storm. Though, a more permanent solution may be needed for when winter sets in.” 

He avoided her gaze as he stepped forward to kneel before the metal chest, running practiced fingers over the locking mechanism. The ire permeating the air settled deep in his bones, pushing his form into strict rigidity. 

He pulled out one of the stones from the chest, holding it out on an open palm. “My father charmed these stones to produce heat for my mother. The heat they produce is regulated by the number of stones present, feeding off of each other. The more stones are in use, the warmer they will be.” He quietly pulled two additional stones out of the chest. Despite how easily the river-smooth rocks fit in his palm, they were heavy with his father’s imbued enchantments. They emitted a gentle heat, a physical embodiment of the love his father had felt for his mother. 

Alucard pulled out two more before letting the lid fall closed, the lock immediately falling into place with a smooth  _ shnick.  _ He turned to set the stones in a pentacle formation around the curved border of her nest. “Much to the consternation of my father, my mother insisted on calling them ‘hearth stones’.”

Daiyu watched him move around the nest, going on about— _ rocks _ ? She looked at one of them as he placed it strategically spaced from the others, then looked back at him. 

When she spoke her voice was deathly calm. “Adrian. . . earlier, when we returned here, were you moving forward with the intent to force yourself on me? Regardless of what I wanted?”

The last point of the pentacle fell from his fingers, landing against the foliage with a muted thud. His eyelids slid closed. Was that why she was angry? Had she finally had enough time and distance from the event to be able to recognize the threat that he was to her? 

As deserved as her fury was, he had to make sure she understood, “I was not moving forward with the intent. Though I recognize, that would have undoubtedly become the outcome. I want you to know, I would never want to hurt you, particularly in that way.” His gaze was steady and entreating as he turned to face her. “Please understand, I never want to intimately move with you without your willing consent. I don’t want to just use you for pleasure. When the time comes, if you’d allow me to, I’d like to make love to you.”

The last time Daiyu had lost control of her flame was during the first four months of training with the monks. Listening to Alucard speak, she was forced back to the basics. Breathing—just breathing. She carefully catalogued what he said, so they could address it, eventually. 

Not breaking his gaze she spoke in the same calm tone. “Then make love to me.” 

Alucard didn’t move, but he couldn’t help the slight bulge of his eyes at her words. Before he responded, he took a moment to take in her physical state—her pupils were dilated, her pulse elevated, frustration prevalent in the air—but her eyes were steady and resolute, her breathing measured. There was something unperceivable going on within her, raging amongst the carefully controlled monsoon that comprised her soul. 

He pivoted on his knees to face her, but made no move to rise and approach her. “Daiyu, why are you saying this?” 

She wanted to move. Go to him and get lost in him, but she would not force herself on him. If he didn’t want this, that would be his choice. “Shouldn’t it be obvious? I want you to make love to me.” 

Alucard had to close his eyes once more and take a steadying breath.  _ If she says that one more time. . . _

“Yes. That much you have made abundantly clear. But why are you saying such a thing  _ now?  _ You wanted our first time together to be intentional, yes? You asked that we wait for you to prepare—” He stopped himself from reminding her of the loss that was still fresh, part of why he’d thought she was pushing him away. Alucard pushed on, “You still wanted to train to find the extent of your abilities, correct? You have given many reasons why you do  _ not  _ want to lay with me.” 

Daiyu took a deep breath, eyes narrowing. “Each time I have stopped, it has been because I was afraid of hurting you. So far, all that seems to have done is make you doubt my intentions and desires, bringing a different kind of pain.” She turned away, unfastening her belt holding her robe closed. Pulling off the green garment, she hung it next to the cloak. 

Turning back, she met Alucard's gaze. “My approach has clearly not been helping—either of us. You’re the one that said experience is the best teacher. Unless you don’t want to, I want to try your method.” 

“I never said I didn’t want to,” spilled out of his mouth before Alucard could pull his eyes away from her and remind himself why  _ he  _ was the one trying to speak reason. “I don’t want you to make a decision because of how you think it will affect me. I want to respect and treasure you in every way you will allow me, but if you are submitting to me in that way to appease me, it is not any different than me physically forcing myself on you.”

Heat roiled under her skin and her eyes flashed. “Excuse me? You think it’s as simple as one decision having an effect and negating the rest? Let me make myself  _ perfectly _ clear. If I didn’t want this, I would not be offering. If I had not been concerned with hurting  _ you _ , I would have said yes this morning.”

At the mention of their morning  _ activities _ —as she had put it—his gaze was pulled down to the twin pinprick bruises along her neck. All at once, the disconnect that he’d held carefully in place between their discussion and  _ what  _ they were discussing crumbled. Unbidden, the thought of how many more marks he could leave on her flitted through his mind. His body flashed hot with overwhelming desire. When his eyes met hers, his eyes burned. 

“Why did you stop? You’ve still got plenty of layers to remove if you really want to do this.”

She met his burning eyes with a challenge of her own. “And deny you the pleasure?”

His mouth went dry. “It’s going to be difficult for me to help you out of your clothes with you all the way over there.”

Slowly, she moved toward him until she was standing within arms reach, looking down at him, “I have made my decision. It’s your move.”

Alucard held her gaze as he rose to meet her, hands trailing over her thighs and hips before jumping to trail up her arms. “ I suppose that only leaves one question: how would you like me to make love to you, Daiyu?”

“Completely.”

His lips curled in a smirk, a brow quirked. Achingly slow, he moved his touch over her shoulders, fingertips dipping into the collar of her shirt and trailing down the front. He relished each breadth of skin that was leisurely uncovered by his teasing touch, excitement thrilling through him as he watched goosebumps raise up in his wake. 

“Completely? Oh, Daiyu, you mean to tell me you don’t want me to help you find your release using just my hands? You wouldn’t want to wrap your legs around my neck as I taste you? Shall I just bend you over and take you now?” 

A shudder ran through her body at his words. Her hands slowly moved up the planes of his chest, reveling in how his muscles rippled under her touch. Leaning up on the balls of her feet she put her mouth close to his ear and whispered, “You’re talking too much.”

A dark chuckle ghosted over her skin as he bent to brush his mouth over the marks he’d already left on her. “But you love the sound of my voice,” he growled to her teasingly. 

He could scarcely believe that her hands were on his chest, that she was letting him smooth his palms over the toned lines of her back. But the soft shush of the fabric hitting the floor and the heat pulsing from her body proclaimed that it was real.  _ She  _ was real, and she was here, and she loved him, and wanted him. He shivered as she moved to grasp at him as he simultaneously dragged his hands down her back and was met with bare skin. 

Dropping her hands, she reached around and slid them up his back under his shirt, relishing the feeling of him. Wherever he touched her left trails of fire and going by his reaction, she believed the same was true for him where she touched him.

“There are more ways to hear your voice.” With that, she dug her nails into his back.

A broken gasp tore from him at the feeling of her hands across his back, her nails delivering their sweet pain—unimpeded by the constant layer of fabric that had been separating them. His hands at her waist yanked her flush against him as he released the breath in a groan, his voice pure gravel and satin. He was done with being separated by fabric. 

He traced a finger down her back, watching entranced as she reflexively arched into his chest. With her shoulders rolled back, he was able to slip a finger beneath the bridge of binding stretched between her shoulder blades. His nails sharpened to claws, and sliced through the fabric. 

Feeling the binding fall away, she lifted her arms, bringing his shirt up and tugging until he lifted his arms, allowing her to pull it over his head. 

She stopped, watching him as his shirt slipped from her fingers. Alucard could only stare, captivated by the look in her eyes and the image of Daiyu, bare from the hips up, with his shirt in her hands. The shirt that  _ she  _ had pulled from him. This was farther than he had ever imagined she would let him get. And seeing her standing exposed before him almost brought him to his knees. 

Where did he go from here? Would it be overeager of him to cup her breast, finally experience the weight and resilience of the curve in his palm? If he asked her, would she tell him how she wanted him to touch her? How could he do this without fear of the ramifications of his actions pushing her away from him forever?

There were fingers carding through his hair. Alucard refocused on her eyes and when her gaze fell from where she was watching her hand to give him a soft smile, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into him felt as natural as breathing. His breath caught at the bare press of her chest against his. He shuddered and Daiyu’s body gave an answering tremor. Drawing back enough to duck his head and gently press his lips against hers, his hands drew down her back, stroking over her waist before settling at her waistband. Alucard paused then, giving her another gentle kiss, as he waited for her permission. 

Feeling him hesitate, Daiyu waited for a breath before reaching up to drape her arms around his neck. She pulled back a fraction to murmur, “I trust you,” then tightened her arms pulling him in to her as their lips met again.

He came alive under her kiss. While her bare skin against his was welcome, it was like the moment before the leap—standing at the ledge and looking out at all that freeing, stomach-dropping, open air. But kissing her, kissing her was like a drug. It slipped through his veins with a familiar intoxication that  _ beckoned _ . 

He ardently captured her bottom lip between his, sucking it into his mouth to nibble at the tender skin. Her tongue against his lip sang sweet persuasions that he immediately responded to. Alucard released her lip, tilting his head to deepen their kiss and entangle their tongues. He growled as her tongue teasingly flicked against the back of a fang. The sensation was a lightning bolt tingling through him to settle at the base of his skull and pulse with a need to press his fangs into her skin once more. His fingers slipped past her tied waistband, using it to snap her hips against his. 

His voice was a raw, sensuous rumble as he spoke against her mouth, “Bed. We should get to the bed.” 

Daiyu let out a breathy hum of agreement. Not wanting to be separated from him, she took a step back, toward the pile of blankets that had become the bed, guiding him to follow. Dragging one hand down his chest to his stomach, she paused, flattening her palm there, before wrapping it around behind him to press closer to him as she took the last few steps back.

Feeling the edge of blankets, she stopped. Breaking free from their kiss, she nuzzled into the crook of his neck. Breathing in his warm amber scent, she reached up so her lips brushed behind his ear.

Her voice was soft but sure. “I love you.” As soon as she spoke, she kissed where she had left a mark below his ear, before slipping from his grasp to settle on the quilts and look up at him with adoration in her eyes.

Alucard’s eyes rolled back in ecstasy at the easy pressure of her lips over the sensitive mark at his neck, a soft moan warming the back of his throat.  _ I love you, I love you, I love you.  _ The words settled at the heart of his desire, fueling it higher and hotter and so much more full that anything he’d felt before. When his gaze found hers again, he could only sink to his knees and crawl over her. He stopped when he came to her folded knees, brushing a kiss against the bottom of a knee as his fingers hooked in her waistband and tugged. 

His pulse gave a decisive thud as Daiyu pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, a beautiful accent to the wicked grin adorning her features. She didn’t look away as his fingers and nails scraped over her skin, silently lifting her hips to help him urge the material free. Alucard was amazed that the sight didn’t push him over the edge. 

He leaned up to press a kiss against her captured lip returning the phrase she’d offered to him, “I love you.”

When he pulled away to guide her pants down her legs, she pointed her toes and pulled one knee back and then the other to finally be free of the fabric. Alucard paused to admire the smooth line of her leg and the definition of the muscle in her thigh and how perfectly—how seamlessly—every part of her came together to make Daiyu. He moved back over her, trailing his touch from her ankle to her hip to her ribs, reveling in the feel of beautiful, uninterrupted skin. 

Leaning down to press a kiss against the elegant sweep of her collarbone, he murmured against her skin, “You are ethereal.” 

As he kissed up the column of her neck, Daiyu’s head fell back in a silent gasp. Gripping his shoulders, she arched her back, pressing up into him. Taking a breath, she was flooded with their mixed scents. With one hand, she lightly raked her nails from his shoulder down to the small of his back. Bending a leg, she brought it up to press against the outside of his hip. 

Turning her head toward him, she gently kissed his temple, “Make me yours,” and nipped his ear.

Alucard choked. Those were Daiyu’s nipples, pebbled with desire, dragging from his ribs to his pectorals. The wet heat moistening his pants was the evidence of her arousal,  _ because of him.  _ Daiyu was practically  _ writhing  _ under him, asking for him to make her his. The strenuous hold he’d been keeping on his self-control snapped and lust howled within him at its newfound freedom. One hand found her ribcage, while the other dragged from her waist to the thigh she had pressed against his hip. He took the skin beneath his lips into his mouth and bit down as he rolled his hips into her. 

The hand on his shoulder snapped up to dig into the hair at the nape of his neck, holding him in place as Daiyu pushed into him, rocking her hips up against him. Alucard groaned, biting the skin between his teeth a little more firmly in short reprimand before he drew away. He shifted down her body, leaving kisses and soft licks against her skin as he moved from her neck, down her chest, to settle between her breasts. The hand at her ribcage kept her from arching into him as he tantalizingly brushed his lips not-quite where she wanted him. 

A whining growl left Daiyu in her frustration, gaze flicking down to find his eyes watching her, laughing in silent taunting. In retaliation, she tugged on the hair fisted in her hand and shivered as his slack-jawed pant heated and moistened her skin. He was taking too long. She needed him closer. Needed his touch to be warmer, harder. She brought her other knee up to bracket his hips between her thighs, brows furrowing at the rough texture of his pants against her entrance. 

The hand on her thigh dropped down to still her hips as Alucard dropped his forehead down to rest on her sternum. If she didn’t stop thrusting her hips against his painfully hard member, he was going to find his release far too quickly. “If you don’t behave, we’re going to have a mess to deal with,” his voice was a breathless groan that he was too far gone to feel ashamed of. 

In answer, Daiyu followed the expanse of skin under her hand down the small of his back, under the waistband of his pants, to find the clothed curve of his ass and  _ squeeze.  _

“ _ Fuck!”  _ Alucard snarl-yelped, hands tightening enough to bruise as his hips stuttered against hers. Every muscle quivered as he fought against the pull of release. 

Daiyu just let out an uneven, gasping laugh at the hard length of him rutting against her, eyes sparkling with retribution as she scented his climax in the air. As his body stopped convulsing, he panted into her chest, refusing to look up at her as mortification flushed through him. 

Loosening her hold in his hair, Daiyu started carding her fingers through his locks. She couldn’t help the smug pleasure settling around her. Picking her head up to look down at him, an impish smile played across her lips.

“Are you going to insist on continuing your teasing?”

Mortification gave way to irritation at the self-satisfied victory that was rising off of her skin. When he looked up at her, his eyes flashed with promise. He pulled away so quickly that Daiyu shivered at the sudden loss of his warmth and weight against her. Alucard ripped off his pants, lip curled in distaste as the wet fabric clung to him. He snatched a piece of cloth from one of the stacks he’d shoved in the burlap sack, using it to clean himself before turning back to Daiyu. The air stirred with the speed of his movement as he settled before her on the bed, hoisting a knee over his shoulder. 

The scent of her arousal this close to him made his mouth water. “The night has only begun,” he growled moments before he swiped his tongue along her center. 

At the sudden contact, Daiyu threw her head back, mouth open in a silent gasp. The direct contact sent waves of pleasure through her body, causing her to shudder with each pass of his tongue. A hand went to fist in his hair as her hips rocked against him.

She gave a helpless little whimper that burned low through him as he drew away. His lips curled in triumph even as the hand in his hair urged him back to her. Instead of following her bidding, Alucard decided to  _ tease.  _ He turned his head, dragging open-mouthed kisses along the inside of her thigh, letting his fangs catch and prick against the sensitive skin there. A hand trailed up along her side, finally letting her breast settle in his hand, stimulating the supple flesh before rolling her nipple between his fingers. 

With a shudder from the stimulation he was giving her, she released his hair, bringing her arm up to rest over her eyes. It was nice, but nothing like what he had been doing moments before. She took a deep breath, contemplating his actions and how he was wanting things to proceed. Clearly, he was wanting to tease.

Alucard watched her lay back with smug satisfaction. She had been trying to goad him on, and he had not been pleased with the result. He thought he was allowed some retaliation. Even so, her frustration was beginning to prick under his skin, making him squirm. And he supposed that any further teasing could be considered excessive. Without warning or preamble, he released her thigh in favor of sinking a finger past her folds. As her back arched at the intrusion, he lowered his mouth to her clit. 

As his mouth pressed against her, Daiyu’s mind went blank. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and let out a muted moan. The hand not over her eyes gripped the blanket as her hips moved to invite him further in.

Alucard’s ears pricked at the low sound of pleasure he’d pulled from her, smiling as he hummed against her before sucking gently. She bucked against him, but it still wasn’t enough. He wanted to hear her, feel her walls clenching around him as she screamed. He added another finger, slowly pushing in to that firm resistance within her, he curled his fingers. 

Daiyu felt as though there was an inferno building within her. As he curled his fingers she took a shuddering breath, back arching. The hand she’d had over her face moved down to grab  _ something, _ but she didn’t know if he would stop, like when he’d first licked against her heat. Instead, she fluttered her fingers over his hand on her breast, down his forearm, before letting out a frustrated, breathy whine as she dropped it to grip the quilt as well.

Alucard pulled away from his work on her clit, fingers still moving within her as he tilted his chin to regard her. “You are giving the duvets a lot of attention. Should I be jealous?” He rose an eyebrow at her, flicking her nipple for good measure. 

At his words Daiyu’s eyes flew open as she looked unseeingly above her. He was being an  _ ass _ and she’d had about enough. He hadn’t wanted her to reciprocate his affects, or let her guide him where she wanted him, and  _ now _ she wasn’t giving him enough attention? One hand flew to fist in his hair. Jerking his head to the side, she sat up bringing her mouth to the exposed flesh where his neck and shoulder met. Catching the skin and tendon with her teeth, she sucked.

He had noticed when her hand had fluttered over his arm, unsure and fleeting. Each small reaction, every twitch, sigh, and subdued sound of pleasure, had been carefully monitored and cataloged. In watching her, he’d come to realize that she was holding back. There was still too much of her concern and restraint present for her to be able to find her release. And from how tightly she had clenched around his fingers, he knew she was sorely in need of that release. In provoking her, he had hoped to seduce her away from the tight hold she kept on her control—help her let go and give in to the lull of lust lapping at the corners of her mind. In the moment that her hand fisted in his hair, when he saw the flint in her gaze, he knew he’d gone too far. The instant that her eyes fixed on his neck, Alucard knew—he’d made a severe tactical error. 

Alucard’s mouth dropped open in a wordless cry as she bit into his neck. The hand at her breast snapped to the back of her neck, holding her against him, hoping she would bite harder. His fingers slipped out of her, grabbing the swell of her ass and yanking, dislodging her knee from his shoulder. Each swipe of her tongue, each hard drag on his skin, every movement of her teeth against his neck, pushed another wave of boneless, molten bliss through his limbs. He shuddered as she paused in her suckling long enough to sink her teeth into his skin, the sensation tingling down his neck and dragging him into limp submission before his body went rigid with another brush of her tongue accompanied by a tug against his hair. 

All at once, he was painfully hard once more, a warm buzz shivering just under his skin. Turned to putty at her ministrations, Alucard helplessly rasped, “Tell me what you want me to do. Show me how to pleasure you.”

Now he was asking? Daiyu nipped at his neck in frustration. She had wanted to let him take the lead—to go at the pace he was comfortable with, but he was driving her insane. Curling her arm under his shoulder, she wrapped her legs around his waist, pressing against his hardened member.

“I want you to stop teasing me and  _ fuck _ me,” to add emphasis to her words she rolled her hips against him.

The drag of her wet heat over him almost made Alucard fall apart again. The hand at her ass moved to secure her hips once more, creating some clarifying distance between them. Even as he rose up from his knees, guiding her back to nestle against the quilts, his eyes were pleading. How could he tell her that if he thrust into her right now, she would likely bleed? He hadn’t had enough time to prepare her. As much as he wanted to thrust into her to the hilt, he didn’t want to hurt her. 

“I want you to be able to walk in the morning.” Well, it was less eloquent and doting than he would have hoped he’d be able to articulate, but in the moment, it got the point across. 

Looking up at him with nothing but challenge in her eyes, she spoke in a quiet voice of command. “Then get busy.”

Alucard couldn’t conceive any answer that wasn’t to sink between her knees. He paused at the quiet gasp that left her in a puff of heat as he pressed into her, but then her hips rocked against his hand. As he eased deeper into her with each measured thrust, his other hand tracked back down her thigh to grasp the curve of her hip. As he kneaded the flesh beneath his hand and waited for her walls to relax around his knuckles, he watched her toes curl and her body twitch. Just the sight of her—he shuddered. 

As he withdrew from her to add another finger, her eyes fluttered open, drifting down to fix him with another vaguely threatening look. He was pleased to see though, that her eyes were becoming clouded with lust—the menace left there little more than a shadow of the fire that had matched the heat of her mouth. Alucard merely kissed the inside of her thigh before plunging two fingers past her lips in short thrusts. 

Her head fell back once more and he groaned, long and deep and low. Her chest was heaving with short pants, tanned skin brushed with a heated blush. The scent of their arousals had mixed and blended so perfectly that Alucard couldn’t discern what was from him and what was from her. Her fingers lightly caressed over the skin from his bicep to the top of his shoulder and back down, pausing only when his fingers curled just  _ so  _ to dig her nails in. It was all too much. 

He mindlessly scissored his digits within her as his tongue flicked out over the underside of her thigh, right where thigh met hip. He couldn’t recall when exactly she’d thrown a leg back over his shoulder to dig into his back, but he was infinitely grateful for the access that it gave him. When his fangs sank into her skin, it wasn’t a decision so much as an instinctual drive to have something in his mouth. 

The coil that had been tightening low in her abdomen as he worked his fingers snapped as he bit her. Feeling his fangs breaking through her skin brought its own kind of euphoric agony. Gasping hoarsely, white fire coursed through her veins as her body shuddered and contracted around him. A hand flew to the nape of his neck to keep him from pulling away as she rode out her high.

Alucard’s eyes flew open, everything within him fully overwhelmed at the taste of her blood on his tongue. He swallowed thickly, eyes squeezing closed once more as her walls clamped down around his fingers. He couldn’t swallow again—no matter how much everything within him demanded it—he would not suck against the open wound. His hips helplessly snapped up into empty air as he worked her through her release. 

He’d never sank his fangs into someone, never felt the hot, sweet bloom of their blood on his tongue. He whimpered, lapping against the skin trapped between his teeth, powerless to pull away—even if her hand hadn’t been firmly holding him in place with a fistful of hair. He hadn’t realized, had never even imagined, that tasting emotion was an option, but he could taste the delirious relief and bliss on his tongue as heady as the darkest red wine. 

Gradually, Daiyu relaxed against him. Rolling her head lazily to the side, she looked down at him with hooded eyes. Loosening her hold in his hair, she started to gently card her fingers through it. At the nape of his neck, she would pause to lightly massage the tensed muscles and tendons there. He was magnificent—everything about him. Lost in the moment, time slowed as she reveled in the feeling of him and the love they shared.

Despite the contented bliss from having climaxed, each pass of his tongue sparked a desire for more. Cupping her fingers at the base of his neck, she applied pressure to encourage him to move. At the silent prompting, Alucard released a plaintive whine but didn’t release her skin. Lifting her head, Daiyu looked more closely at him as she lightly pulled again. 

Alucard’s eyes opened slowly to look up at her without seeing. His pupils were dilated—leaving the barest hint of gold around the edges. 

Daiyu brought her other hand down to gently stroke along his locked jaw. “Adrian,” she called softly, “you can let go now.” 

It sounded so easy when she said it. Alucard had been trying to convince his jaw to relax at the first press of her fingers to the nape of his neck. He kept telling himself,  _ now  _ was when he would extricate his fangs from her skin. . .  _ Now.  _

He was on his fourth reiteration. 

The taste of her blood was stronger than any intoxication he’d experienced. It slipped through his veins and stole the control of his limbs from his mind. But even as her tremors were fading from around his digits, he could smell the desire mounting in the air. He was so aroused that he was certain if there had been any pressure against his weeping member, he would have climaxed with her. In the end, it was her fingers brushing over his jawline and the possibility of finally being inside her slick heat that persuaded his fangs away from where they’d been embedded. Twin beads of scarlet blood pooled on her skin as he pulled away before dripping heavily over the curve of her ass. Though transfixed by the blood on her skin, he obediently followed her guiding hand. 

Daiyu smiled gently as he relaxed his jaw and lifted his head. Sliding her leg off his shoulder, she sat forward to softly kiss along his jaw. Reaching the corner of his mouth, she dropped her hand from his neck to slowly stroke over his shoulder and back. Catching his lips with her own, she laid back again, pulling him with her.

Feeling the fullness of his weight settle on her, Daiyu brought her knees up to bracket his hips to help support some of his weight. 

Alucard’s body snapped into action as his length came into contact with her center, wet and dripping with her slick. His eyes flashed red with delirious lust, a hand sliding under her to cant her hips. The moan that fell from his lips was more carnal growl than voice of pleasure as he rocked his hips, thrusting his member through the wetness between her lips. 

Daiyu’s head fell back in a gasping moan, at the sudden contact—arching her back to press impossibly closer to him as she wrapped her legs around Alucard’s hips. He was so close to being where she wanted him Her fingers dug into the muscles in his back as she rolled her hips to try to bring him inside her.

Her immediate, violent reaction to him threw Alucard headlong into another orgasm and when he cried out, it almost sounded like a roar. He didn’t regain conscious thought until his body had stopped twitching, eyes slowly fading back to gold. It took another handful of ragged pants before he was able to think outside of the blissful haze and realize that he was laying limp atop Daiyu. It took another moment for him to recognize the short breaths coming from Daiyu were due to more than just arousal. 

Alucard pushed up on his elbows, blinking down at her in a daze. She gulped down a lungful of air, giving him a gracious smile. All he could do was brush his fingers over her cheek, marveling at the sweat on her skin. 

“I—I think I may have blacked out,” Alucard stated blankly. When his eyes trailed back to find her gaze he let out an incredulous laugh.  _ What just happened?  _

At his confession, Daiyu started to laugh—bringing a hand up, she covered her mouth with the back of her hand as she tried to stop. Looking at him with sparkling eyes she ran her fingers through his hair, marveling at what felt like a collision of dreams and reality. 

Despite the confusion tinting his smile, he turned his head to brush a kiss over the inside of her wrist. If he could just lay with her and listen to her laugh for the rest of his life, he would never want for anything more. His smile widened into a grin of pure adoration as he laughed with her, leaning down to press his forehead against hers. 

“God, I love you so much,” he pushed out between euphoric snickers. 

Smiling up at him, she lowered her hand from her face to brush the back of her fingers along his jaw. “As sure as the sun rises, I love you.”

As he slowly became reacquainted with the feeling in his limbs, Alucard became distantly aware of a wet stickiness between their torsos. His brow furrowed as he rose up on his hands, dropping his head to glance between them. His eyes widened in recognition a breadth of a moment before squeezing shut in a wince. A breath hissed out from between his teeth as a perfect recollection of the events that had led them to this moment crashed through the post-orgasmic bliss. 

“It seems I’ve made a perfect fool of myself for the second time this evening,” Alucard murmured, giving her an apologetic look before he kissed her temple. “Just a moment, I’ll get something to clean that up.” 

As she opened her mouth to respond, he disappeared in a flash, leaving her with the shock of his absence. Before she could become accustomed to the chill of his absence, a stirring of the air beside her announced his return. He winced again, sending another urging of heat through the snow-moistened cloth in his grasp before gently wiping the material over her stomach. 

Sitting up, she propped herself up on her elbows. Watching him, she took a breath and smelled the chagrin coming off him. She tilted her head in contemplation. 

“While it was not what I was expecting, I rather enjoyed what just happened.” Leaning forward, she pecked him lightly on the cheek, then settled back on her elbows. “Seeing how easily you are affected by me—it fills me with satisfaction.” 

The desire smoldering low was fed into a fire at her words. Alucard’s hand stilled, splayed low over her stomach. His gaze rose to find hers, eyebrow raising at her. Contrary to the many times through the night he had been certain that she would push him away in impatience and disgust, Daiyu still seemed ready and willing. How had such a perfectly benevolent woman come to exist in this cesspit of a world? 

He shook his head in disbelief, running the cloth over her hips before settling before her once more. “You do know you have the patience of a saint, don’t you?” 

He hooked her knee over his shoulder, gaze finding where his fangs had left their mark. Despite his ploy at nonchalance, the view of Daiyu, propped up and watching him as he pushed her legs open once more, was almost enough to get him hard again. He carefully turned the cloth inside out, searching out a clean corner to wipe the blood away from her skin. A moment before the material came in contact, Alucard remembered to renew the heat—steam curling off the cloth as he wiped it over her skin. 

Daiyu sucked her lower lip between her teeth, releasing a carnal hum as the hot cloth came in contact with the tender skin. Heat bloomed low in her stomach as her eyes drifted half closed.

Alucard felt the sensuous sound vibrate through her, breath catching in his throat as her wanton intent permeated the air.  _ Ready and willing, indeed.  _ He tossed the cloth behind him blindly, turning his attention back to Daiyu. Gently, he set her foot back on the quilt, moving forward to settle over her. Her hooded eyes watched him with heated intent, lips curling into a smile as she lifted her hand to his shoulders, welcoming him back into her embrace. Her expression quickly turned to one of incredulity as his hips settled between hers, his hardened length hot against her entrance. 

Feeling the physical proof of his rapid recovery, Daiyu’s eyes widened—recalling what she had learned about vampire recovery. It crashed into her, that it had been a double edged meaning, and she had only understood to have one—until now. A small laugh escaped her. 

Looking like she’d made an epiphany to rival that of Da Vinci’s discoveries, Daiyu gazed up at him in wide-eyed disbelief. Slightly unnerved, Alucard drew back, raising an eyebrow at her. “Is everything alright?”

Focusing her gaze on him again, a smile pulled at her lips. She reached a hand up to the nape of his neck, “Yes, everything’s perfect,” then pulled him to capture his lips once again.

Her mouth was as hot and perfect against his as it was the first time he’d been allowed the pleasure of searching it out with his tongue by the river, but his attention was focused on something entirely different than her nibbling teeth. She followed after him as he drew up on a hand to create a sliver of space between their bodies. Rising up on her elbow, Daiyu’s grip on his neck tightened, giving him a low sound of warning. Obviously, she still hadn’t quite forgiven him for all of his teasing. Alucard gave her a coy smile against her lips in warning before two fingers thrust into her slick entrance, meeting little resistance. Alucard couldn’t help the throaty groan that left him—she was almost ready for him. 

Feeling the intrusion of his fingers, Daiyu arched up into him as her teeth raked against his lower lip. Surrendering to the heat he was creating, her hips jerked with the movement of his fingers. She broke away with a gasp, “Ah—More. . .  _ Harder. _ ”

Alucard’s moan buzzed between their lips as he sealed his mouth over hers hungrily. He shuddered as his body flashed white hot, equal parts for her words and the way her hips were grinding down on his digits, his own hips stuttering in anticipation. He eagerly obliged her, scissoring his fingers before pulling out to thrust back in with three fingers. He paused to gauge if she had felt any pain, only to quicken his movements as her head lolled back between her shoulders, back bowing in ecstasy. As he pushed deeper into her with each short thrust, his thumb reached up to apply a steady, swirling pressure against her clit and he lowered his head to capture a pebbled nipple between his lips, giving a short draw on the bud before biting gently.

Daiyu’s hips gave a particularly hard roll as he bit her nipple. Her fingers gripping the ball of his shoulder as her legs jerked, bringing her thighs up to press against the outside of his hips. One leg came up and wrapped around his leg, her ankle pressing against the inside of his thigh just above the knee. In the same moment she released an unrestrained moan as her senses were overwhelmed by all he was doing to pleasure her. 

He savored the sound of her wanton moan. She was  _ finally  _ letting go—really letting go. It was such a beautiful thing, watching her come apart under him. He reveled in learning what sound she would make when he flicked his tongue against her nipple—a breathless whine. Or how she would react when he pressed his fingers in hard and rubbed over that spot of resistance within her—full body shudders and a curled toe stroking up along the inside of his thigh. But as much as he loved watching her give in to the pull of desire, he was done teasing, and her walls were rhythmically pulsing and clenching around his fingers. 

She gave a breathless whine as he pulled his digits from her, moving to grip her hip. “Tell me if I’m going too fast?” his voice was a wrecked montage of desire as he lined up with her entrance. 

Her only response was to let out a breathy whine as she tightened her leg in an attempt to bring him closer again. 

At the pressure of her leg yanking him forward, his hips jerked into her and they both choked against that initial contact. Alucard dug a fang into his lip in an attempt to ground himself as he rolled his hips shallowly. She was so perfect around him. He groaned, pressing into her with another short thrust. Even after all of the painstaking work to prepare her, she was so tight that he felt light-headed. He gasped in a breath, running a shaking hand over her waist as he lowered himself back down to his elbow. He placed a kiss against her furrowed brow, concern stilling his hips. 

The initial intrusion had sent white heat searing through her. Despite all the time to build up to it, his fingers couldn’t compare to the stretch created by the full, pulsing hot girth of him. As he stilled, Daiyu was able to take a few breaths to help her relax. 

“Daiyu?” Alucard called to her softly, rubbing soothing circles into the soft dip between hip bone and her stomach. “Daiyu, look at me. Are you okay?”

Hearing the concern in Alucard’s voice, her eyes slowly blinked opened to look at him.

As the pain receded, the need to feel him moving grew. Moving her hand to card through his hair, a blissful smile crossed her lips—oh, how she loved him.

“Yes,” she murmured and moved her hips against him. 

Alucard cursed as she rocked her hips up to take more of him. Daiyu took in a sharp gasp, exhaling in a hum of satisfaction. He took in a deep breath, his concern a writhing mess in his chest, before he let it go and brushed a kiss against her temple. She was the strongest, most capable, intelligent, loving, stubborn as fuck woman he knew. He had asked, given her ample opportunity through the night to turn him away. All he could do now was trust her. 

He rolled his hips, sinking into her for another heart-stopping stretch before he paused, still hesitant to push too far. Daiyu let out an exasperated huff as Alucard stopped moving,  _ again,  _ eyelids lifting to settle an impatient look of lust on him that made him twitch inside her. Her foot trailed up the inside of his thigh and over his ass to lock at the small of his back and press. His hips snapped forward, thrusting in to the hilt. They both stopped then, breathlessly gasping as Daiyu adjusted to the full length and girth of him. 

When Alucard couldn’t take another second of being enveloped by her pulsing, hot walls without moving, he rolled his hips. He choked as she rocked her hips up to meet him. The silent cry that tugged at his chest reminded him that he needed to breathe. Alucard ducked his head to capture her lips between his, unable to resist the need to have  _ something  _ in his mouth. Her nails at his shoulder prompted another stuttering thrust against her and he  _ whined.  _

Hearing his whine, Daiyu responded with a moan of her own. Moving her hand from his shoulder, she slipped down between them to massage her clit, chasing after her release, rocking her hips against him. As her walls clenched around his length, her head fell back, mouth open in a silent gasp. 

The brush of her knuckles against his groin snapped his attention away from the pleasure that was dragging him ever closer to release. He was at once mortified, indignant, and grateful that she would take it upon herself to find her climax. He pushed aside the emotions and focused on giving her that relief she was seeking. The hand that had frozen at the dip of her hip smoothed over her skin to the swell of her ass, nails digging in as he began thrusting into her in a steady rhythm. 

The practiced and sure way that her hips met him, rolling into each thrust, was driving him mad. Without her mouth to occupy him, his lips wandered over her neck aimlessly until something in the back of his mind whispered memories of the morning  _ activities.  _ His teeth latched onto the soft spot behind her ear and he drew the skin into his mouth hard as he pulled out and slammed into her. 

Daiyu let out a rasping moan, white flashing behind her eyelids as she tipped over the edge. Clenching around him, her entire frame shuddered with each wave of pleasure that coursed through her. 

Alucard tried to hold out until the surging, fluttering squeeze of her orgasm had subsided, wanting to help prolong the pleasure, but he was lost in the sea of sensations. He growled into her neck as his steady thrusting stuttered and deteriorated until he was helplessly pounding into her. He followed Daiyu into sweet release moments after she found her climax. 

With the tremors of their orgasms subsiding, Alucard pulled out of her and rolled, tugging her up to rest on his chest. Everything in him wanted to keep touching her—touch any piece of skin he could reach and pull her closer and never let her go. But he had no desire to continue holding himself above her. As opposed to crushing her, letting her weight settle on him seemed like a flawless alternative. He stared, unseeing, at the roof of her nest, tracing a hand over her back as he tried to grasp the reality that he had just fucked Daiyu. Completely. 

A bewildered huff of a laugh escaped him. Daiyu’s only response was to reach a hand up to slowly comb through his hair. 

The blissful haze that had taken up residence in his limbs and his mind was eviscerated as panicked alarm wormed its way through him. Alucard’s eyes sharpened as his pulse spiked. His focus on Daiyu turned abruptly pointed as he took efficient inventory of her vital signs—her pulse was slowly regulating, her breathing even, nothing but euphoria rolling off her skin. Feeling him tense and scenting his flash of alertness, Daiyu blinked up at him—she was conscious. A quick glance around the nest confirmed that there were no threats. 

“Adrian?”

His chest clenched at the flood of adoration that came with hearing her voice calling his name, subdued and drowsy and still carrying a hint of a rasp from their love-making. Alucard smoothed a soothing hand over the curve of her spine before gathering her in his arms as he sat up. He twisted, gently settling her against the rumpled covers as he pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled away. 

“I’m just going to check the camp, make sure everything is okay.”

He stood; grabbing a loose pair of trousers from the rucksack, Alucard disappeared through the opening of the nest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed~! Get ready for some angsty healing in the next chapter! 〒▽〒


End file.
